


Writing a Coloring Book | Changlix

by Ly_The_Great_Fandom_Trashcan



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Awkward Flirting, Awkward Romance, Bang Chan & Lee Felix are Best Friends, Bang Chan is a Good Friend, Bang Chan is a Sweetheart, Barista Yang Jeongin | I.N, Changbin is a dumbass istg, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Color Blindness, Colors, Drama & Romance, Eventual Romance, Family Feels, First Dates, First Kiss, First Meetings, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Han Jisung | Han & Lee Felix are Best Friends, Hurt/Comfort, Hyunjin is probably the most normal out of all of them, Jealousy, Kim Seungmin is a Little Shit, Lee Felix (Stray Kids) is Whipped, Lee Felix (Stray Kids) is a Sweetheart, Lee Felix is so oblivious omg, Love Confessions, Love Triangles, M/M, Mentioned Other K-pop Artist(s), Minor Bang Chan/Lee Felix, Minor Han Jisung | Han/Hwang Hyunjin, Minor Kim Seungmin/Seo Changbin, No Smut, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Painting, Rejection, Romance, Sad Bang Chan, Seo Changbin Being an Idiot, Seo Changbin is Bad at Feelings, Seo Changbin is Whipped, Seo Changbin is a Mess, Seo Changbin is dramatic, Seungmin and changbin are best friends :], Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates, Tags Are Hard, This is that Soulmate AU where when you touch your soulmate you could see color, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Tourism, Travel, Watercolors, Why is changbin so extra jdknmsfdj, World Travel, and they travel alot, chan and Felix come from Australiaaaa, kim seungmin is the literal devil, they're all dumbasses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-01
Updated: 2020-11-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:53:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 29
Words: 81,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26230699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ly_The_Great_Fandom_Trashcan/pseuds/Ly_The_Great_Fandom_Trashcan
Summary: There were five symptoms after the initial contact between soulmates:First, the introduction to color. Second, pupils dilate and everything would be too bright to look at. Third, delusion and denial. Fourth, an overwhelming craving for sweets. And lastly, passing out for an hour... or two.While visiting Korea for the holidays with his friend, Bang Chan, Lee Felix gets into an accidental run-in with Seo Changbin. However, only one of them receives the ability to see color, thinking that they possibly couldn't be soulmates.It sucked that grade school never taught them other symptoms of meeting a soulmate.
Relationships: Bang Chan/Lee Felix, Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Hwang Hyunjin/Kim Seungmin, Lee Felix/Seo Changbin
Comments: 70
Kudos: 241





	1. | Flake White |

It was a good evening. Not being able to sleep and all because of his messy routine- if he could call it that- he fought to keep his eyes open. Sleeping _now_ would be fruitless, anyway.

They were already a good four hours into their flight, having come from their trip to Indonesia, now going to Korea. It had been going smoothly. Their trip, he meant.

Felix turns to his right, smiling at Chan beside him, head tilted back and softly snoring. He had his third pair of AirPods in (after losing one on a boating trip from the Philippines to Malaysia and another somewhere in a Middle Eastern desert), music so loud that Felix could hear it from his seat. To save Chan from any embarrassment (and from becoming deaf), the freckled Australian reaches over to the older's phone dangling haphazardly from his grasp and lowers the volume to a decent amount- enough that Chan wouldn't need hearing aids in three years.

He stares at the older a little longer, reaching up to brush bright curly hair out of his eyes before Felix smiles and returns to painting the sleeping figure.

Felix adds more water to the grayed palette, his brush dipping into a darker shade of gray and spreading it out on the paper, taking quick looks at Chan as his monochrome reference. He was glad Chan passed out cold once they sat down- he had an unmoving reference then. It was one of the easiest things he would paint on their trip (and the one reason he couldn't sleep on the flight).

They've been traveling for a while. During the summer (when both of them didn't have school and Chan saved up enough vacation days) they traveled to the US, and some parts of the Middle East, Africa, Europe, and even South America and Mexico. The two wanted to reserve their winter break for most of Asia- starting off in Japan, then going to China, Thailand, the Philippines, Malaysia, Indonesia, and then heading off to Korea to spend the holidays with Chan's parents before going back to Australia.

Chan accompanied Felix on all of their trips. Traveling is _always_ much more fun with a friend, he would say. But Felix's parents almost forbade him from traveling alone. They almost didn't agree to any of his trips if Chan hadn't spoken up. Plus, it relieved any embarrassment Felix had when talking to strangers- and since Felix wasn't the best at Hanguk-eo; he had Chan to back him up when he needed to. He could also visit his parents, finally spending Christmas with them after a long while.

Leaning back, Felix dots a few more monochrome details on his current piece, smiling widely at his watercolor portrayal of his friend.

His current sketchbook was filled with scenes and attractions he's seen during his trip with Chan. Most of them were watercolor pieces of tourist attractions he and Chan visited, such as the Nasir Al-Mulk Mosque or Oaxaca during Dia de Los Muertos. Others were quick paintings of things he saw when he and Chan ate together in a restaurant or sat idly by on benches. All of them were gray though, dulled monochrome in Felix's vision. But anyone who could see color said they all looked nice and vibrant- and Chan enjoyed when they sat on nearby benches and let Felix paint for an hour or two, anyway. That was enough for Felix to continue painting.

Besides, he couldn't return to his professor empty-handed or with half-assed paintings. Art wasn't like that. Either Felix pours in his all or nothing.

This trip was the effect of that.

"Chan," Felix taps at the said man's chest, the older mumbling something incoherent as the pilot announces their arrival. "Hyung, wake up."

"Are we here?" The older questions, cracking open an eye and blinking past his curly hair. "What's going on?"

"We're arriving soon- I didn't want you to be drowsy when we're trying to retrieve our luggage-" Felix remembers how well that went last time. Chan, thinking it'd be great to stay up late _and_ stay awake for a thirteen-hour flight, only ended up accidentally grabbing someone else's luggage and leaving his at the airport- never to be seen again. At least the older received some great colognes from the luggage carrier.

Chan nods, blinking, and sitting up properly.

"What do you think?" Felix questions, holding up the portrait and smiling so brightly that Chan had to squint his eyes to see. "Thanks for staying still for me."

Chan points at it, eyebrows furrowing and lips parting before pressing them together into a thin line.

"Yah. Don't submit this to your professor." 

**—-**

"Felix! Felix! Felix! Felix over here! Oh my God! Bro! Felix!" Chan and Felix perk up when they hear someone excitedly calling for them, glancing up as they emerged from the luggage retrieval. From the crowd of people waiting for their loved ones and friends, Felix notices a familiar squirrel-looking man squeezing past taller individuals, holding up a sign with questionable pictures of Felix and Chan and writing too messy for the two Australians to even _attempt_ to read.

He was jumping, waving over at the two as they approached him with bright smiles.

"Yah! Lee Yongbok! Bang Chan! You guys made it!" Jisung almost screams, and Felix had to shush him down before security kicks him out. "How was the flight? Are you feeling okay?"

"I'm fine, Hannie," Felix bubbles as the older affectionately ruffles his hair, bright eyes glimmering under the shadow of his cap.

Felix met Jisung four- five years ago? When Felix was waiting idly in a game lobby at around two in the morning on a school night. He met this _incredibly_ annoying man on the opposite team. And spawn camping and a server ban on the said individual later, Felix met him again in a WOW server a week after.

The unusual man described himself as Han Jisung and thought that their second meeting was fate. They became friends after that.

He was an eccentric man, Felix thinking that he was a loud, extrovert only to find out that he was a shy, squirrelly individual during their first video call together. They didn't get along at first, especially when the older cheated often in their games.

But they eventually grew close, even if the time differences and Felix's college classes made it difficult to play together. Besides, their birthdays were a day apart. And Jisung thought that was cool enough to let Felix stay.

"Chris!!" Jisung quickly switches to English, hugging Chan who pats him on the back. Jisung knew Chan since the older shared an apartment with Felix. Every video call from Felix featured Chan yelling at him from another room. "How are you, man?"

"Pretty good. It's been a while, yeah?" Chan laughs. Jisung pulls away, grimacing at the bright tone of Chan's hair.

"Did you bleach your hair again? Your hair is going to fall out, you know?"

"Ah! Jisung!" Felix perks up when the squirrelly man wraps his arms around the two's necks, walking down the airport and toward the exits. "You said you came from Malaysia, right?" Felix questions, digging into his carry-on and pulling out a box of Dodol and a handcrafted wooden animal he stared at for at least ten minutes during a trip around Malaysia- wondering if Jisung would like it or not.

And he does, squealing and taking the souvenir from the younger with the brightest smile Felix ever saw on him, his lips curling into a heart and his gums showing, the corner of his eyes crinkling as they turned into crescent moons.

"Thank you!" He wipes an imaginary tear from his eyes. "I can't really visit Malaysia anymore so this really means a lot to me, Felix. Seriously."

"Aish, don't mention it," Felix gives him a thin smile, crossing the road together and into the parking lot. "You're already helping me and Chan with our trip to Korea, so..."

"I know, I'm awesome," Jisung sighs, brushing his bangs out of his eyes and humming with a nod. He separates himself from the two Australians, unlocking his car a little ways away and helping them place their luggage into the trunk. "You don't have to keep reminding me."

Chan mocks a gag as he takes a seat on the passenger's side, Felix in the back as Jisung turns on the radio to some random hip-hop song the Australian never heard of before.

"Could you be my navigator?" Jisung questions, buckling himself in before he backs up from the parking spot, driving out of the lot. "Where are you guys staying, anyway?"

"My parent's place," Chan hums, pulling up the map on his phone and inserting the address. "I haven't spent the holidays with my parents for years and they're more than willing to house Felix, so..."

"You guys could've stayed over at mine," Jisung dramatically pouts, to which Chan scoffs. 

"Over my dead body. You would probably make us clean that place." Chan deadpans, to which Jisung yells a retaliation. Felix wanders from their continuous conversation (something about Jeju Island that Felix zoned out) and looks out the window. It took a while for them to exit the airport, due to traffic and all, but once they did, Felix couldn't help but stare outside the entire time.

It always excited him whenever he and Chan enter an unfamiliar city. The sights, the sounds, the people. Of course, he's visited Korea once or twice with his parents in search of his culture. But everything still astounded him. And for Chan, it was the food. The first stop they always go to in a new country is the nearest restaurant. It was kind of a ritual only they could understand (and pull off, as exhausting themselves throughout the day helped them keep in shape). Chan always said that food was the fastest way to the heart, saying that it'll help the freckled Australian pour emotion into his paintings.

Felix always said he was delusional, but thanked Chan for finding a wonderful restaurant.

Either way, the younger enjoyed new cities. He enjoyed seeing them with Chan, mostly. He was right, travelling was much more enjoyable with a friend.

And despite his lack of ability to see color, Felix still enjoyed it all. Besides, he had Chan by his side. He was enough. Finding his soulmate could wait. Despite being a painter, the thought of seeing color didn't interest him very much. It was a sort of ironic twist to his story. A painter who didn't have an interest in seeing color? Maybe he was as delusional as Chan. But then again, maybe that was why they've stuck to each other all these years.

The trip from the airport to Chan's place took about an hour and a half. The sun was way well under, Seoul glowing brightly under the moon and through the window Felix leaned against. Soft R&B played through the radio from Chan's playlist (after about ten minutes of nagging from the older and another five of Jisung declining with the excuse _"My car, my radio,")._ Chan leaned against the window, Jisung's padded jacket covering his body from the cold. Felix was sure he fell asleep again. While their jet lag wasn't as bad as per se, during their trip from Paris to Mexico City, he knew as hell the man needed the extra hours.

Felix couldn't sleep though. Only continued gathering inspiration from the outside world- the unfamiliar sights providing him all the experience he needed to create a new piece. But maybe he should hold that off for now. Enjoy this silence between him and Chan while it lasted. Besides, he had all the holidays to sightsee and paint whatever he wanted in Korea. With Chan, he basically had all the time in the world.

"Everyone," Jisung sighs, his hand hitting Chan's chest who immediately jumped in his seat, glancing around and blinking furiously. Felix sat up from where he lay in the back, rubbing his eyes and glancing outside the car. "We're here."

The street wasn't like the rest of Seoul. Whereas the city in of itself was magnificence as a larger picture, this was a much more peaceful take, the unknown details to an untrained eye. Jisung smiles brightly, despite the sleepiness glossing over his eyes, his hand resting on the passenger's seat headrest as he stretches his limbs with a groan.

Chan was the first to jump out of the car- as if he wasn't just sleeping moments earlier. He smiled bright- maybe as bright as the streetlights- no the moon- no, Jisung! He smiled as bright as Han Jisung himself when his eyes landed on the quaint house ahead.

"Home sweet home," Chan giggles to Felix as the younger stumbles out of Jisung's car, bumping his shoulder against the freckled Australian playfully. His cheeks were a touch shade darker- probably nipped red by the cold.

"Do you think they remember me?" Felix questions, dark eyes flickering from the house to his friend, who immediately wrapped an arm around his shoulder, rubbing his back.

"Of course! You were the reason I wanted to stay in Australia. And I made them know that," Chan giggles, jumping around. Seriously, this man was asleep one second and bounding around the next. He _did_ realize it's already late and most of the neighbors were probably getting settled for the night, right?

"Yah! I'm not your taxi driver, hurry up and get your shit!" Jisung whines when he settles the two's luggage on the ground. He huffs when he hands a backpack to Chan. "What the hell do you have in there?! Rocks??"

Chan ignored the teasing remark, instead, running toward his house, leaving Felix and Jisung behind to carry everything else.

"Look at him," Jisung sighs, carrying Chan's duffel bag and rolling the suitcase. Felix follows behind him with a laugh after shutting the car trunk. They watch as Chan hurriedly rings the doorbell, then knocks on the door. One second he was busily jumping outside, the next he lunges forward when the doors open, throwing his arms around a middle-aged woman who greeted him with as much fervor. "I do love myself a good reunion plot point."

"You've been watching too many dramas, Ji," Felix bubbles, the two struggling to carry their luggage up the incline past the gates.

"Yongbok-ah!" Appa Bang called out once he caught sight of Felix, rushing to the freckled Australian and patting his back. "Let me help you with that-"

"Ah- no, no, it's okay!" Felix laughs lightly with a shy bow, Chan immediately bounding to the two and _finally_ helping them.

"Eomma, appa, this is Han Jisung. He's a friend of ours, he's helping us around Korea while we stay here," Chan gestures to the squirrelly man who bows at Chan's parents with a smile and a hand on his cap. They enter the house, Felix sighing when they finally escape the cold, the warmth inside embracing his entire body. The interior matched the streets outside: peaceful, content, domestic. Felix could only imagine how young Chan played through the living room, how he spent the past holidays within these walls. And he felt it. All the happiness and the bright memories painted the walls in the form of framed pictures.

Chan was right, though. This felt like home sweet home.

"Oh my! You look tired," Eomma Bang exclaimed, patting Jisung's back who bowed to her.

"Oh no, eomeonim, I'm fine-"

"It's already late. We wanted to have dinner with Chan and Yongbok- maybe you could join?"

"Well, if you _insist_ ," Jisung smiles brightly as she immediately rushes to the kitchen, grabbing a stack of plates to settle on the table.

"How shameless are you?" Felix shoulders him with a giggle, Jisung's eyebrows shooting up.

"Very. I don't drive anyone across Seoul for free, you know?" He laughs.

"Leave the luggage there, we can deal with that later!" Appa Bang waves the trio over, Chan dropping his bag onto the wooden floor and rushing over to help his mother set up the table, already going on about some antics he and Felix had during their trip. Jisung huffs out a laugh as he pulls off his coat and settles it on Chan's suitcase, Felix settling his duffle bag on the floor with a smile toward the older. "Shall we go?"

With a smile and a nod, Felix and Jisung join Chan and his family at the dinner table.

And maybe, Felix already felt right at home. Like he was back in Sydney. 

**\---**

"I was thinking," Chan says between chews, scrolling through his phone, and taking another bite of his sandwich. "Since it's been a while. I think we should go with something familiar. What do you think?"

Felix hums, his hot latte untouched on the table, dipping his brush into another shade of gray and applying supposed color over a dried layer of paint. He was currently painting the other half of Chan's sandwich- still left intact inside the cardboard box. He had been the one to suggest eating outside in the morning, despite Chan's disputes. The older wanted to save their first experience in Korea together in a restaurant, as was their custom.

But Felix couldn't live without painting for a day, and eventually dragged Chan to the nearest cafe, even if the cold weather hindered them from leaving their beds.

"What are the options?" Felix asks, using a napkin to dab away some excess watercolor.

"There's a dumpling place nearby. It's small, quaint- kind of perfect for our first time," Chan arches an eyebrow at Felix who nods aimlessly. "Oh! Also, I was thinking about going to Namsan Tower with you someday. I'm pretty sure you're going to _love_ the view."

"Ask Jisung first. And we could do whatever. You're better at picking out places to eat, anyway. I'm just here to paint," Felix whips his head up with eyes wide open, eyebrows shooting up behind his beret when Chan picked up the forbidden half of his sandwich. "Yah! that was my reference!"

"And this is my breakfast, leave me alone," Chan mumbles in an accented English and scrunched his nose, Felix rolling his eyes and sticking his tongue out at the older. While Felix cleaned his brush in a small water cup, he moved on to another subject he could paint (unless Chan decides to move that too). His eyes gloss over the cafe, filled with one tired person to another, drinking their coffee as their daily pick-me-ups. There were a few groups of friends or so chatting quietly in the cafe, another individual with earbuds in, typing away at a laptop.

Outside, people walked along the small street, cars driving by. And across the road was a small flower shop that piqued Felix's interest. The flowers were pretty, safe, and warm within the glass windows of the shop. Even though everything was as gray as ever, Felix thought that maybe painting a flower shop wasn't so bad. It's been a while since he's painted locations, and since he'll be in Seoul for a while, this could be a small stepping stone to help him get the hang of it again.

"Good morning." Someone sleepily sits beside Felix, head settling on the freckled Australian's shoulder with a small groan. His messy hair tickled Felix's neck, his coat hugging him warmly as he tried to scoot closer to Felix to escape the cold he was previously in.

"Good morning, Jisung," Felix laughs lightly, grabbing his pencil and sketching out the flower shop. "What time did you get home last night?"

"Twelve? No- one," Jisung hums, reaching over and taking the iced Americano sitting idly on the table. Chan's eyes widen, gesturing to Jisung with his sandwich.

"That's mine," Chan huffs, Jisung shrugging.

"You're more awake than me," Jisung mumbles around the straw. Chan only laughs, smiling, and shaking his head as he returns to his phone. Jisung watches Felix paint all the while, still sipping Chan's coffee- even finishing it in a record-breaking two minutes. The younger adds layer after layer of paint, brush never staying in one place too long to let the water dry. He held onto a napkin in the other hand, blotting out paint that overflowed or just add minor points of detailed effects. Nonetheless, the two of them quickly submerged themselves into painting. And even Chan, who sat across Felix, eyes on his phone, enjoyed the sound of Felix's brush dipping inside the water cup, the bristles rustling against the napkin- sounds he was already all too familiar with.

"Wow," Jisung awes as Felix adds darker, finer details to the painting. Felix showed him some of his paintings before, but seeing them in real life seemed much more beautiful than through a phone screen. "That's amazing. You still can't see color, can you?"

"Nah," Felix hums, eyes glazing over the finished piece. He checked his phone for the time, glancing around the cafe. More people piled into the building, many more awake. His hot latte disappeared- Chan presumably the culprit behind the mystery. But he was awake enough. Painting was enough of a pick-me-up than coffee was. "What about you?"

Jisung scoffs, sitting up and waving a dismissive hand. "I don't have time to look for my soulmate. I'll find her when the time comes. For now, I'm just going with the flow."

Jisung brightens after that, his previously tired features disappeared and replaced with an excited look Felix was more than happy to match, all of his minor jet lag disappeared, their fatigue cured- ready to venture out to the world.

 _After_ Felix takes a quick nap in the back of Jisung's car.


	2. | Indigo |

Alarm. Alarm, turn off the- _Wait_.

Where _was_ his alarm?

Instead of the irritating, familiar scream of his morning routine, Changbin woke up to an unusual ring of his phone. One that he wouldn't hear this early in the morning.

At first, he thought it was just his alarm, reaching for his phone and blindly turning the ringing off. He found it weird, whereas his alarm was usually a high-pitched constant beeping similar to a fire alarm, this ringing was more a jingly tune. Had he changed his alarm sound? He didn't think so.

And that slight curiosity kept him from requesting that extra ten minutes he often did. His thoughts already started, and there was no way he could stop it now. What was even the point of attempting to sleep when it would all go to fruition?

His phone rang again, Changbin tilting his head up and blinking at the annoying device on his nightstand.

He stares at it- one ring, two, three-

Wait, someone was calling him.

"Hello?" Changbin mumbles when he answers the call, pressing the device against his ear.

"Yah! Hyung! Where the hell are you?!" Changbin pulls the phone away with a grimace once he heard Seungmin yell at him. It was still too early for Changbin to put up with the younger's bullshit. "Hyung!"

"Seungmin, what the fuck- it's six in the morning-"

"Six? _Six?!_ Hyung are you a dumbass, it's already Eleven!"

At first, Changbin thought that Seungmin was bluffing. This wasn't the first time the younger made up bullshit to yank Changbin out of bed (even if It's too early in the morning for work). But pulling the phone away from his ear, he checks the time- the sound of Seungmin's urgency a little worrying to the older.

And low and behold, for once Seungmin wasn't pulling anyone's leg. And for once, Seungmin was lending a helping hand to Changbin. Except that he was an hour or two too late.

"Yah!" Changbin immediately sat up, yanking the comforter off of himself, ignoring the cold that blew on his arm. "Why are you calling now?! You could've called me earlier!"

"Hyung, I've been trying to call you for an hour!" Seungmin stresses, groaning as Changbin heard the younger slam books onto a cart. "Hurry up! Mr. Park is already up my ass about you!"

Seungmin hung up, leaving Changbin sitting on his bed, blinking furiously at something obscure across the room. Eleven o'clock?

Eleven o'clock?!

Changbin shot up from his bed, scrambling to his feet. He bolts across the room, almost ripping the bathroom door open.

How could he be so stupid to wake up this late?! His picture-perfect attendance card now ruined- his speck-free golden slate stomped on and mutilated by his _damn_ stupidity!

He blamed it on work. Last night, his supervisor placed stacks and stacks of work on him. And because of some stupid editor clocking off without another say, all proofreading, all manuscript editing was placed on his shoulders. Good thing he worked out- he carried every burden, no matter how heavy, before the sun rose.

And his perfect morning routine was ruined too! Skip the run, skip the breakfast, skip the- actually, there was _always_ time for coffee. But he guessed he'd have to make the crappy, free coffee in the break room. He should _really_ restock the break room instead of opting for quick stops at the convenience stores.

"Mr. Kang! It's so nice to hear your voice!" Changbin exclaims as he switches his phone to speaker mode, placing it atop a drawer. He didn't bother drying his hair fully, chucking the towel onto his bed and yanking out the first thing he saw in his closet.

"Seo Changbin, are you busy?" Mr. Kang questions, Changbin pulling on a hooded jacket.

"Yes, sir! Ms. Hirai just asked me to run some errands, but I'll be back to the office soon- would you like anything on the way back? I could-"

"Ah, no, Seo Changbin. I'm only calling to ask what time you'd get here," Mr. Kang sighs, Changbin grabbing his phone after he finished stuffing everything in his bag, running out to the living room. He stumbles to pull on his shoes, almost falling to the floor if it hadn't been for the nearest bookshelf he promised himself he would throw out years ago. "Kim Seungmin told me you were still sleeping."

"Sleeping, sir?" Changbin fakes a laugh through gritted teeth, grabbing his coat hung over the couch's armrest before running out his house. " _Please_! I wouldn't sleep so late into the day!"

"Seo Changbin, it's okay. I know how Ms. Park gave tons of work last night," Mr. Kang hums, Changbin hearing the numerous murmurs of their office in the background. "I have an assignment for you and Kim Seungmin. Please hurry, he's already drowning in work trying to cover for your absence."

**\---  
**

"Careful, you'll get charged with property damage."

Ten feet into the air, he jumps from the sudden scoff behind him, whipping around and staring at the younger with wide eyes. Seungmin rolls his eyes, pushing up his glasses as he rolls the cart full of books into the elevator when it opens.

"I was only trying to get into the elevator faster," the shorter clears his throat, standing beside Seungmin who pushes the button to the third floor.

"Hyung, you only need to push the button once," Seungmin grimaces and leans away when his eyes meet Changbin's, furrowing his eyebrows. "Yah. Did you even brush your hair this morning?"

"Aish! How could I?" Changbin almost yells, scratching his head furiously, leaning against the railings that lined the elevator. He knew his hair was messy (and still wet from his recent shower). He didn't need Seungmin pointing out every flaw he had in him. "I've been running here and there- staying in the office late- yah-" Changbin points a threatening finger at the younger who only pushed it away. "You're a little snitch aren't you? You told Mr. Kang that I'm late!"

"Mr. Yoon knew about it anyway??" Seungmin waves off the other's dramatic wrath, patting the older's back. "Hyung, you'll be fine. Besides, Mr. Yoon and Mr. Kang like you enough that being late for one day isn't going to affect anything," Seungmin says, rolling the cart out of the way.

"Yah- Yah!" Changbin calls after him as they enter their large office space, Seungmin returning books into their respective bookshelves. "I was on my way to getting a bonus!"

"Bonus my ass!" Seungmin scoffs, smiling and playfully hitting at the older's chest. "Mr. Kang likes you, but he doesn't like you _that_ much."

Changbin grimaces at that, sighing as he trudges to his desk, hanging his coat over his office chair and settling his bag on his clean desk with a long sigh.

Imagine that.

That bonus he was so close to grabbing- so _close_ that he could practically taste it. That added trust placed upon him by his seniors, his supervisors. That likability that gave him an upper hand with his co-workers.

All gone, all vanished. Into _nothingness_. Thrown down into that dark pit he also wished could throw himself into. All gone... Kaput- _nada_. All his progress ripped out from this story and burned into nothing but pathetic smithereens before getting stomped on ten times over by his stupid alarm clock and Kim damn Seungmin.

How could he continue to live? How could he-

"If you're done with your pity party," Seungmin clears his throat, clearing his desk free of papers and placing them into a neat stack. Changbin glances up, running a hand through his damp hair with a disgusting pout.

"Seungminnie," Changbin whines, furrowing his eyebrows. He stomps his foot and slaps a hand onto his coat. "Just let me have like ten minutes- I want to bask in my miserable luck for ten more minutes, please."

"Mr. Kang wants us to check up with the local bookstores about how our books are doing. Maybe even convince one or two to display some in the front," Seungmin frowns, leaning forward and pushing up his glasses that threatened to fall off. "Mr. Yoon and Mr. Kim are kind of... _banned_ from the nearby bookstores."

"Why don't you ask one of the marketing plebs to join you, let me whine in peace," Changbin takes a seat at his desk, leaning back on his office chair as he stared at the ceiling with a long sigh. He knew how dramatic he was being, especially how his co-workers glanced at him warily. Maybe they'll feel pity for him too.

"Hyung," Seungmin sighs, walking around their desks and behind Changbin. He massages the older's shoulders, nodding as he spoke. "You should show everyone that you're stronger than this. One speed bump shouldn't stop you. It'll only slow you down, but then after that, you could go so much faster, can't you, hyung?" Seungmin leans down, bringing his face beside Changbin, who glances at him with an arched eyebrow.

The devil was speaking to him, and Changbin knew that. He was at his shoulder, smiling and speaking sweet words that he knew the older would eat up. He was coaxing him into agreeing, tempting him with blarney that everyone knew were bullshit. The devil was at his shoulder, massaging him, fattening him up for the next round of slaughter.

And did he believe him?

"Geez, seriously!" Changbin yanks his arm away from Seungmin who immediately wrapped his arms around the older's neck, placing his chin atop's Changbin's head. "If you think that's going to work on me this time!" 

**\---**

"Yah, look!" Changbin rolls his eyes as Seungmin held onto his arm, shaking him and hitting at his chest before pointing at a book on the table ways away- still on a small wooden pedestal for everyone to witness it in its full glory. Seungmin turns to Changbin with a bright smile, the older scoffing. "Hyung, our company's book is still being promoted after a month!"

Why did he let the devil sway him again? Maybe popular opinion was correct. No one could _really_ resist the devil's temptations.

"Yah. What'd I say about this bookstore? I told you the owner actually cares about our opinion."

Even so, Changbin sulked after Seungmin, whereas the younger hopped about from one spot in the bookstore to another. They had extra time to spare, Seungmin " _seducing"_ Changbin into agreeing to look through the bookstore. He carried books for the younger- geez. He was too nice to his dongsaengs, wasn't he?

"Look at this," Seungmin pouts, mocking a cry and showing a manga page to Changbin. The older only rolls his eyes, not even bothering to look at the manga. "I wish I could have a soulmate like that..."

"I don't think anyone is going to even want you," Changbin scoffs, leaning a hand against the bookshelf. "One look at your nasty words and they're off running."

"Aish, whatever," Seungmin turns a page, turning his back to the older. "You're no better than me. But at least you have a chance of finding your soulmate, hyung. I can already see color. It's practically impossible for me to figure out who the hell's my soulmate."

"You're too young to be worrying about love," Changbin huffs, ruffling Seungmin's hair. The younger turn toward him with a thinly pressed smile, his bright eyes turning into crescent moons behind his round glasses.

"And you're too old," Seungmin sneers, shutting the manga book and returning it to the bookshelf before pulling out a different one near the top shelf. "But hyung, imagine my fairy tale ending with me, will you?" He holds up the manga, pointing at the cover, at the two main characters. Before Changbin could protest about sitting through his friend's sappy commentary about soulmates and love, Seungmin shut him up by hitting the paperback against his shoulder with every word. "Imagine me- a nobody- meeting _my_ prince-slash-princess charming? It would be so romantic, wouldn't it? And to think that five-year-old me ruined twenty-year-old me's chances! Wouldn't you think that God blessed my relationship or something?"

"Seungmin, seriously-"

"Aish, you're right," Seungmin sighs, staring at the cover with a frown, though brightening when he glances back at the older. Even though their relationship looked... unusual at times, Changbin always worried about the younger whenever he talked about soulmates. He could go on and on about his supposed future, creating scenarios inspired by books and the countless romance dramas he forced Changbin to watch with. He was all for his friend's happiness. If imagining the theoretical appeased him, then Changbin would say go for it. He just worried the younger would hurt himself.

"Yah," Seungmin sighs, gesturing to the older with the book. "Why don't you look for your soulmate? I'm so sick of you raining all over my damn parade- I need someone to help me balance out all your emo bullshit, you know?"

"What if they're as bitchy as me?" Changbin smiles, huffing out a breath of a laugh as Seungmin returns the manga to the bookshelf.

"Then I'll move out of Seoul," Seungmin laughs, playfully pushing the older. "Yah! Just start touching everyone you see! Just be like-"

Seungmin jumps back, bumping into another man behind him, turning around and glancing up from the manga he was reading. He had inky hair, brushing over his narrow eyes and small face. His thick lips parted into a shy smile as Seungmin furiously bows in apology, the man tilting his head down in return.

"I'm sorry!" Seungmin exclaims, Changbin scoffing. The man's chocolate eyes never leave Seungmin, even when the younger turns back to Changbin with furrowed eyebrows and lips pursed into a thin line.

"Like that?" The older rolls his eyes, exiting the row of bookshelves and out to the main foyer with Seungmin's mangas in hand, the younger chasing after him.

"Exactly like that!" He leans over, catching the shorter's gaze as they wait in line for the checkout. He smiles, and- oh no, this can't be good... The devil already had his sights on his next victim. And there was no _way_ the devil gives up easily.

Changbin knew that look Seungmin gave him. He knew it all too damn well. He used it when their supervisor asked Seungmin to do overtime; he used it when Seungmin pretended to forget his card at home after eating out; he used it when he didn't want to waste his time on petty tasks around the office. "Hyung-"

The devil works hard to captivate his victims. But Changbin works harder to repel his attacks!

"Mr. Kang asked me to get lunch for Mr. Park Jaehyung since he'll be signing with us soon... So, will you-" Before Seungmin could finish his sentence, Changbin places the stack of paperbacks onto a nearby table, already on his way out of the bookstore.

With the damn devil calling after him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg y'all, I'm so excited to share this work with y'all. I'm having so much fun writing this and I'm sure y'all would have fun reading it. I know the "Omg all people are born without the ability to see color but when soulmates touch they can see c o l o r," or just any soulmate trope is so overused but I REALLY needed to write a fluffy story because my mind was melting from writing so much dramatic stories. 
> 
> I tried to balance out the cliches so it's not that bad. It still sucks though so <3
> 
> I missed the days of "You're an asshole" :(
> 
> Changlix is like my pure ship. Like when I can never throw any impurities at Changlix. 
> 
> Like they go through drama. But they come back unscathed you know?
> 
> MiNSuNg on the other hand :/
> 
> Anyway this is my first fic with Seungjin in it so 😳👉👈
> 
> Anyway, here's another chapter y'all. 
> 
> hope y'all enjoyed :))
> 
> -Ly <3
> 
> P.S The chapters are alternating between Changbin and Felix's POV. Kinda took inspiration from a book called "Flipped" 


	3. | Warm Gray |

It took about half an hour to drive to the street market.

In contrast to their tired antics early that morning, the car ride was filled with endless, exciting stories from Felix, singing from Jisung and Chan, and laughter from all three of them.

Throughout Felix and Chan's trip in Southeast Asia, he worried that it'd be too awkward with Jisung around. Sure, they'd known each other for years, had questionable, useless conversations at around three in the morning, ate ramyeon in silence after each of Jisung's sudden nights of drinking, and even shared deep issues with each other.

But meeting someone through a camera differed completely from meeting them in real life, and Felix wondered if seeing Han Jisung eye to eye would make a difference. Of course, he knew that the initial awkwardness would dissipate, especially since both of them were shy when it came to meeting new people. And seeing someone in real life wasn't an exception.

But Felix was glad he and Jisung clicked almost instantaneously. There wasn't even a beat of awkwardness between them- as if they knew each other for the longest of time (well, they have). And having Chan as their chaperone only made things better.

They didn't want to do anything _too_ extreme their first day into Korea. They've already experienced enough excitement in Southeast Asia to last years. The most they could do was to rest for a few days.

But Chan and Felix wanted to explore their home country, Jisung thinking that it'd be a great idea to take them out into a street market. Felix had been to many street markets. Besides restaurants, Chan and Felix also walk down many street markets everywhere they go. It was the easiest and fastest (and possibly cheapest too, if Felix and Chan held back from impulse buying) to learn about a country's unique cultures. Street markets were a country's "thumbprint." Everyone had a thumbprint, and from a distance they're all similar. But taking a closer look, they're all different. None of them were the same, even if they had similarities to each other. Street markets were like that.

"Do you think we could eat chicken feet?" Felix pokes his head between Jisung and Chan as they walked down the alleyway, shops and stands on either side. Despite the cold, the heat from grills and nearby food stands warmed the trio enough that they didn't need to wear coats over their jackets. The place was decently crowded- still packed, but only enough that the trio didn't need to walk in single-file.

"Do you want to?" Chan turns his head, cooing as Felix nods to him with bright eyes. Chan ruffles the younger's hair, nodding. "Okay, I'll buy you some chicken feet."

"I saw a good stand the way we came from. We could buy some on the way back to the car," Jisung hums, yanking Felix forward so he didn't have to walk behind them. He wrings his arm around Felix's before shoving his hands in his jacket pocket.

"Yah, we should buy something here and eat back at my parents'," Chan suggested. "I'll cook for you guys."

"Jisung, you should _really_ try Chan's cooking," Felix exclaims, shaking the squirrelly man's arm with a smile. "Out of everything me and him tried, I would say nothing can top his cooking- well, except for the crepes at this Paris cafe we went to-"

"That already makes me gag. Just so you know, I have _very_ high standards-" Jisung yelps as Chan hits the back of his head with a laugh, the younger hissing and pouting at the pale Australian. They continue walking, Chan walking behind the two when the small alley grew a little more crowded. "Okay- but like- Felix likes it so..."

"Here! Here! Here!" Felix and Jisung both choke when Chan grips their jacket hoodies, keeping them from walking and yanking them back. Chan points at skewers of meat and teokkbokki, turning to Jisung and Felix. The oldest scrunches his nose, sighing. "Woh- this looks delicious. I'll pay."

"You sure?' Jisung questions, arching an eyebrow at the older only for the said man to wave a hand dismissively. "I'll pay for the chicken feet later, then."

"How about you pay for this, the chicken feet _and_ the snacks since I'll cook for you two."

"Ah, you-" Jisung opened his mouth, though quickly shutting it and whipping his head toward Chan. The older only smiled smugly at him, leaning toward the younger who pointed a finger at the Australian. "You bamboozled me."

While Chan and Jisung bickered about their snack plans, something in the corner of Felix's eye caught his attention.

It was ways away- maybe one, two, three- five stands down the alley. He had to lean over to catch a glimpse of the wares, but even so, they were so clear to him, to begin with.

"Hyung, I'll be over there real quick," Felix says aimlessly, Chan still immersed with his conversation with Jisung about who gets to have an extra skewer of eomuk tang. Walking through the crowd, he arrives at a small stand selling candies. chocolates and different kinds of Hangwa. A kind lady ran the stand, smiling at Felix as he glanced over the sweets.

"Excuse me, ma'am," Felix cleared his throat, pointing at a box of chocolates and the Yakgwa right beside it with a bow. "How much is this?" 

Felix thought it'd be nice to buy Chan's parents a gift as some sort of "thank you.". They're already letting Felix stay over free of anything- cooking for him and treating him too well that it made the freckled Australian feel guilty.

Chan asked him not to buy anything too flashy if he found anything, as his parents weren't the type to feel grateful for anything too expensive. They'd only feel bad, so Felix opted for the sweets. They were cheap, cute, and overall delicious.

Hopefully, Chan just doesn't eat it all. He'd be wasting his money if he did.

"Young man, you're not from around here, are you?" The lady asks, Felix's eyebrows shooting up before smiling and pulling out a few bills from his wallet.

"Huh? Oh- yeah, no," he huffs out a laugh, handing the money to the lady. "I'm traveling with my friend. We're actually from Australia."

"Aigoo, I knew you were too handsome to be from here," she waves a hand. Handing Felix change and a plastic bag, Felix takes both with a bow and a sheepish smile. As he returns his change into his wallet, the woman grabs a small bag of candy and slips it into the bag. "Here. For your travels, young man."

"Oh, thank you so much," Felix bows again, brightening at the old lady who waves him off. He returns to where he left Jisung and Chan. But the two weren't there. Not by the chicken feet, not by the blood sausages- the teokkbokki too.

Did they leave him??

To make matters worse, Chan and Jisung didn't answer their phones. No matter how many times the freckled Australian called, how many times he went on his toes to look over the crowd. They just vanished.

Geez, if Felix has to walk home-

Wait- what if this was a punishment for bringing up chicken feet? No, Chan and Jisung wouldn't do that though, right?? They were totally on board with the damn chicken feet!

"Seriously!" Felix huffs out, continuing to walk as he keeps his eyes glued to his phone. He was in the middle of spamming Chan with text messages, knowing he'd answer. He could also do it to Jisung, but if the guy takes hours to reply with one word, Felix could only imagine how long an entire _sentence_ would take.

Felix turned around, walking back toward where they had come from.

Luckily, he remembered where Jisung parked.

"Excuse me! Excuse me! Excuse- sorry-"

_Actually-_

When Felix changed his mind and turned back around, a man ran into him, the two crashing to the ground as the crowd glances at them, stepping around them as if it was second nature.

Felix groans, blinking his eyes open and sitting up.

"Oh- " Felix scrambles to his feet, picking up the plastic bag he had dropped as well as his phone. His eyes widened when they land on a man hunched over the floor, holding his head and groaning. Everything was too bright, but he could still see enough to crouch beside the man. "Sir! Are you okay, sir?"

He groans again, waving a dismissive hand when Felix tries to reach over and check if he was okay. No blood, good. No cuts, _okay._ Bruises?? That's cutting it close-

"I'm so sorry- I'm sorry, I'm-" Felix bows furiously when the man shakes his head, blinking his eyes furiously. He finally looks up at Felix, his narrow eyes wide and pupils dilated as they looked at him. He squinted, leaning forward, and Felix leans back, his small lips turning downward in a frown. He groans again, trying to look around his surroundings and- _wait-_

 _"_ What the-" the man gags, swallowing with a grimace. " _Fuck...?"_

"Sir- are you-" Felix murmurs, the man's hands trying to reach around the floor, searching for something. Felix hands him the plastic bag that he dropped, standing up and helping the man to his feet. "Are you drunk??"

"Yongbok! Yongbok! Felix! Fel-" Jisung pushed past the passing crowd, almost screaming when he finally found the freckled Australian. "Yah! Where the hell were you?!"

"I was-" Felix sputters, turning and pointing back from where he came. But Jisung grabs his wrist, already pulling him away from the man before he could fully recover. "Wait, a minute! Wait!"

"I'm so sorry, sir," Jisung bows low to the man with a bright smile, the man shaking his head and digging his heels of his palms into his eyes before blinking furiously. "I hope we didn't cause you any trouble- We'll be going now- C'mon Chan is waiting for us-"

"Wait! Ji- Yah!" Felix yells when Jisung drags him away. People passing by glancing at them with arched eyebrows, while those running the shops sighing and returned to business as usual. They've probably seen crazier things happen around here. "At least let me buy the man like teokkbokki or something!"

"Aish, he's fine, seriously," Jisung scoffs, wrapping an arm around the younger's shoulder who glances back. He could still see the man's back, but the walking crowd blocked him as they wandered further away.

And when Felix leans over, going on his toes to see if the man was still there, he disappeared.


	4. | Cadmium Lemon |

Everything was too damn bright. Why the _hell_ was everything so _damn_ bright?!

Changbin stumbles from one foot to another, trying to squint and shield his eyes from the sun. The sun wasn’t too bright today; covered by clouds, casting a shy white light upon everything.

But to Changbin, it felt as if someone is continuously shining a flashlight into his eyes in a dark room—except that flashlight is ten centimeters away from his eyes, it’s 2000 lumens strong and Changbin hasn’t seen light in ten years.

He even almost runs into a light post on the way back to the company building.

This was what he got for being in a hurry all the damn time. But he had reason to hurry! Seungmin was breathing down his neck about only having ten minutes to grab lunch for a new author they’re working with. It wasn’t his fault the devil asked for such a last-minute favor!

Changbin glances around, awing at every little thing his eyes landed upon. It was as if he was reborn again, seeing things for the first time he’s never seen before.

Nothing was a dimmed shade of gray anymore, but vibrant— _colors_. Holy shit, he could see color!

He didn’t know any of the names for colors. Well—he _knew_ what they were called, but he didn’t know which one was which. Was the sky green? Was that taxi purple? Were trees blue?

And before he could get run over by a car because of his childish curiosity, Changbin stumbles into the company building, running into the glass doors he failed to see.

Thankfully, the inside was a lot less bright than the outside world. Changbin could now navigate without running into people or a trash can every third step. In the elevator he tried to calm himself, entering the closed-off space with one of his seniors.

He already went to work late. There was no need to barge in there looking like a lunatic. His pitch-perfect reputation was already dented. He shouldn’t ruin it anymore!

Besides, who would be interested in this sudden _horrible_ revelation.

“Are you okay, Seo Changbin?” Ms. Im questions, Changbin perking up with a shaky laugh and a nod. He bows, clearing his throat and pressing his lips together into a thin line.

The elevator lifts off of the first floor, to the second floor—

“Ms. Im, what color is a stop sign?” Changbin questions, his senior arching an eyebrow.

“Uh—red... Why?” The elevator doors ding open, Changbin bowing and walking out to their office without another word to his senior.

So if a stop sign is red... That would make the free apples in the break room red. The folder he left on his desk would be red too. And his superior, Ms. Park’s lipstick, it’s a darker shade of red—

And if this and that were red, then what would make this? What would the table be? And the books on the bookshelves! They were a deposit of color. If he didn’t like books then, then he’d _definitely_ like them now. And he didn’t think the office would be so vibrant! He’s always thought this place was a dark shade of gray hell, but hey—credit to where credit is due, this place had a grade-A paint job!

Changbin felt as if a whole different world was being opened up to him. Like the heavens singing, the trumpets blaring—and he wanted to learn everything about it. Maybe after he drops off the food, he could research a few things. Maybe Seungmin’s useless sermons about seeing color and finding a soulmate really _did_ feel like euphoria. 

“Good afternoon Mr. Kang, Mr. Park,” Changbin bows once he enters one of the meeting rooms off the side of the office space.

“Good afternoon, Seo Changbin,” Mr. Kang smiles at him, nodding at his junior. Mr. Park stared at him wide-eyed, small, tired eyes behind round glasses as Changbin walked around the conference table. He was thin, but a large dark-ish colored (the color of trees) hooded jacket hung on his shoulders.

“What’s this?” Mr. Park points to the plastic bag that Changbin places on the table.

“It’ll be your lunch, sir,” Changbin smiles, Mr. Kang’s eyes flickering up to the tall author.

“I asked him to get us something to eat. We need to discuss your book and didn’t want you to get hungry.”

“Ah,” Mr. Park nods, his fingers digging into each other as he smiles at Changbin.

“I’ll be off, sir,” Changbin bows again, his senior nodding and waving him off as their meeting continued. Changbin almost bolted to his desk—but that’d be too suspicious. He said to himself: Just continue walking. The office isn’t that big. Just continue walking. No need to raise any suspicion. No need to be so excited.

So he takes a deep breath as he returns to his desk, shutting his eyes and turning away from the window. Why did he have to sit so close to the window? Usually, he’d love the extra sunlight, but why now? Why couldn’t this particular window disappear just for today?

And it didn’t make it any better that Changbin’s head was spinning in that direction, this direction—up, down, sideways. His initial excitement was getting to him, retaliating with a headache that bit at the back of his head. Who knew being able to see color was _this_ tiring?

He sighs, covering his face with his hands, screwing his eyes shut. He tried to block out the continuous, familiar noises of the office: the many hisses of paper sliding against each other, the copy machine going off every ten seconds, the numerous clicks from computers. Why even come to work today? After hearing the news of being late, he should’ve stayed home. Maybe then, he wouldn’t have almost died ten different times in one sitting.

“Does anyone have a red pen?” Someone asks from the editing team, Changbin sighing as he glances over his desk. What was red? Apples were red. This pen is red, then.

“Noona, here,” Changbin sighs as he holds up a red ballpoint pen on his desk, the editor perking up and rushing over to the younger.

“Thanks, Changbin, you’re a lifesaver,” she huffs before Changbin nods with a small hum, returning to his pathetic sulking as he rests his chin on his palm, staring down at his desk. Why can’t this day be over? Or at least why can’t the sun set already? Maybe then, his vision would look at least _somewhat_ normal and didn’t have everything blinding him every few seconds.

Why did he work here again? Working at a publishing firm, he decided that paper was his mortal enemy. The sun just reflected brightly off of the white surface. Like he was looking at the face of God. God, he wanted—

“Holy shit!” Everyone jumped at Seungmin’s gasp, eyes wide as they stare at the puppy-eyed individual, pointing at the older. He was amid eating a pork bun, almost choking on his food as he swallows and fixes his glasses. He realized his sudden outburst attracted attention and instead scooted his chair furiously to Changbin’s side, leaning down with one hand on the older’s shoulder and the other on the desk to whisper harshly. “You can see color?!”

Yes, Seungmin saw and heard everything. He heard how one editor asked for _specifically_ a red pen. And last time they’ve checked, red pens _didn’t_ have any signs of its color unless they actually _see_ it. The devil himself found new prey to pick upon: the dying carcass with the vultures circling overhead.

“No?” Changbin leans back when the younger leans forward with narrowed eyes. “I just gave her a random pen on my desk, I didn’t think—” 

“Hyung, your pupils are dilated,” Seungmin points out, grabbing Changbin’s head and yanking him forward, almost glaring into the shorter’s eyes.

“Yah! Yah—Yah! Get your hands off me!” Changbin yanks Seungmin off of him, hissing and rubbing his cheeks. “Seriously—”

Changbin yelps when Seungmin turns on his phone flashlight, shining it near his eyes but not hitting it directly. The older yelps, pushing the younger away and covering the flashlight with a pained yell.

“Ahah! You _can_ see color, you—”

“Yah! You just shined light into my—”

“Hyung, look,” Seungmin leans closer and held out his hands in some obscure gesture. “What you’re experiencing right now? That’s completely normal when you first touch your soulmate.”

“Seungmin, I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about,” Changbin scoffs with a shake of his head, logging into his computer and pretending to do some work. But he damn well knew that he was interested in whatever the devil had to say.

“Aish, stop denying it. That’s another stage, by the way,” Seungmin hums, reaching over and taking a lollipop from the glass container on his desk and handing it to Changbin. The older only arches an eyebrow before the younger places it beside the keyboard. “You’ll need that. You’ll be craving sugar in another hour or so.”

“Hold on—what the fuck—”

“Think of it in this way,” Seungmin hums, tilting his head and shrugging. “When you get an eye exam, the doctors sometimes give you those eye drops right? The ones that dilate your eyes? And like—for a few hours everything is too bright to look at. Touching your soulmate and seeing color for the first time is exactly like that.” He reaches over to his desk, grabbing a lollipop for himself and unwrapping it. “Except you also feel like you just ate an edible. Yeah, we don’t really learn this in school until you actually experience it yourself. _By the way_ — _“_

Seungmin points the candy at Changbin, the older staring at it before grabbing the one the younger placed on his desk. Geez, why was meeting your soulmate such a hassle? How come dramas and books never covered this?? If Changbin had known, he wouldn’t have carelessly run into someone like that.

Wait—

“Who did you run into? Boy, girl, neither? Where are they?”

Oh, God.

Changbin completely forgot about his soulmate!

“Aish!” Changbin throws his head back, rubbing his face. Out of stress, embarrassment, _both_?? He didn’t know. Maybe this was just another effect of the initial run-in. Yeah, Changbin’s sure of it.

“Hyung! You let them get away?? Geez, I thought I was stupid back then, but I was five! You’re a grown-ass adult!” Seungmin reaches over to punch the shorter’s shoulder, sticking the lollipop into his mouth in frustration. “Did you at least get a glimpse?”

Through all the overwhelming lights, the colors, the noise? Yes, Changbin got a glimpse. But that was all he got: a _glimpse_. Oh God, will he have to be a bachelor forever now that he stupidly lost his soulmate? Just like Kim Seungmin?? Is he going to have to sit through all those sappy commentaries about soulmates because now he knows how it feels? _Oh, God..._

The thought of his “could-be” future is going to haunt him for the rest of his life. Like he was some medieval widow...

“Freckles,” Changbin hums, fingers playing with the lollipop and nodding, Seungmin arching an eyebrow curiously. “He had freckles. An undercut. And—”

Changbin squints, blinking furiously, trying to remember what he saw. He was running because he had ten minutes left before Mr. Park Jaehyung arrived at their company building (he ended up being late, anyway. He shouldn’t have run). He bought lunch for the author at the nearby street market and—ran into someone. Changbin doesn’t really remember what happened a few seconds after that. Everything was happening too fast...

“He had a really deep voice.”

Changbin remembers the furious apologies and the hurried bows. He saw how his eyebrows furrowed when he glanced at Changbin. Then he disappeared. Changbin saw him there, then he was gone the next. Like Changbin had been struggling with a ghost all along.

Was he even real? He was going crazy, wasn’t he?

“Seo Changbin!” Everyone froze at the sound of their senior yelling, Mr. Kang rushing back to the office after escorting Author Park to the elevator. A chilly hush fell over the entire office floor, all staring wide eyed at Mr. Kang and then to Changbin, who bowed. Mr. Kang sighs, running a hand through his hair and pointing a finger at the shorter. “You’re lucky Mr. Park accepted it! You’re so _lucky_ that he didn’t make a huge fuss.”

Changbin and Seungmin glance at each other, arching an eyebrow.

“What do you mean, sir?”

“Chocolates, Seo Changbin! You bought us damn chocolates!”

“E-excuse me?” Changbin’s eyebrows shot up behind his bangs, jutting his neck forward as if he heard correctly.

Chocolates...?


	5. | Titanium Buff |

Going from humid, hot weather to _really_ fucking cold was never a good idea.

Honestly, who thought it'd be a great idea for them to travel from Indonesia to Korea in such a short amount of time? Why didn't they start off in Southeast Asia — get the humid, hot weather over and done with before going to China and Japan? Maybe then, going into Korea, they'd be used to the weather in the east, at least.

But it's already too late. They've just came from Indonesia, they have to adjust to the sudden drop in temperature one way or another.

"Fellliiiix," Chan groans from his bed, the younger poking his head into the room with eyebrows shooting up and eyes wide open. "I'm dying, aren't I?"

"Hyung," Felix sighs with a dismissive wave, entering the room after flashing Chan a smile. The older was pathetically whining under two blankets and a comforter, a damp rag on his head. His eyes were puffy and watery, his nose stuffy. His words would come out in croaks, and Felix shouldn't have found his sickness so funny, but he did. It wasn't everyday he got to see Chan succumb to a bed. "You only have a slight fever. You'll be fine."

"But this means that I won't get to spend precious time in Korea with you!" Chan whines, his hand shooting up from the covers and taking hold of Felix's with a pout.

"It's okay. I'll still enjoy it with Jisung," Felix hums, prying the older's hand off of his and returning it under the covers. He takes the cloth off his forehead, pressing the back of his hand against the burning skin there.

"Yah!" Chan shoots up, the bundle of covers falling from his shoulders. "You're supposed to say that you'll miss me and you'll stay with me until I get better!"

"Ah... Was I?" Felix suppresses a smile, nudging the older back to the bed with a laugh. It's not like they could go anywhere, anyway. It's Saturday, the holidays were later this month — everywhere they go would be packed. It was a slightly hidden rule between the two that weekends were days of rest. But Chan doesn't rest. He's practically ripped the meaning from his dictionary and set it ablaze. "I'm going to the store. Do you want anything?"

"A kiss," Chan puckers his lips and Felix scoffs, rolling his eyes and slapping the older with the hand towel.

"I'll be back, Hyung. I'll buy you snacks, don't worry!" Felix calls out with a thumbs-up as he leaves the room with the towel. He skips down the small hallway, running into the kitchen to wet the towel again. Though, he was surprised to see Appa Bang. Felix thought he stepped out minutes ago.

"Ah! Yongbok!" Appa Bang dries his hands on his apron, smiling at Felix as the young Australian bows to him. He finishes chopping up vegetables and dropped them into a bubbling pot of soup, Felix arching an eyebrow at the delicious smell. "I wanted to cook Chan some soup before I left for the store."

"I was just going there," Felix brightens, turning on the faucet and holding the hand towel under the water before wringing it. "I could go for you if you'd like? Just tell me what you need, I'll get it for you, abeonim."

"Ah — I'll do that myself, don't worry," Appa Bang perks up, taking the hand towel from Felix who bows to him. "You already take care of our Chan too much. This is the least I could do."

"I wouldn't say—" Felix smiles sheepishly, scratching his jaw and shaking his head. "He takes care of me too. It's kind of my day today to take of him. Like chores."

"I see," Appa Bang giggles, slapping his chest playfully. "I'll do it, anyway. You're already going to the store for me." 

**\---**

Bok Choy, pork, cabbage, carrots...

Felix double checked everything in his shopping cart, counting what he needed and checking off the list of groceries Appa Bang asked for. After bringing back an unexpected box of spicy chicken feet and bibimbap a few nights ago, Felix immediately felt bad for losing his bag of chocolates and Hangwa. How could he be so clumsy to mix up two plastic bags? He should've checked what was inside — the chicken feet and the bibimbap must've been more expensive than the sweets Felix bought. He practically stole off of the man he ran into!

At least Jisung didn't have to pay for the chicken feet — and the bibimbap was honestly delicious too...

But Felix felt bad! Even if he only met the man for two seconds.

It was a good thing he got the wrong bag, anyway. An hour after that — when he, Jisung and Chan were walking back to the squirrelly man's car, Felix got this overwhelming craving for sweets. He ended up buying three hotteok for himself last minute. If he still had the bag of sweets, Felix would've embarrassed himself (and waste his money) by eating it all on the way home — before passing out in the back of Jisung's car.

But this was the least Felix could do for Chan's parents now... After losing their supposed gift and all. Besides, he was already going to the store for Chan and his snacks. There was no need to add anymore stress on Appa Bang's shoulders.

"Ah, I need noodles," Yongbok mutters, sucking in a breath. It was the only thing that he didn't cross off on the list: a pack of noodles (the packaging is green. You wouldn't be able to miss it!).

Wait, there's no name?

Appa Bang must've forgotten the brand. Either way, Felix rolled the cart to the noodle aisle, eyes glossing over different brands, different types. Udon, ramen, soba, glass noodles — wait, Felix couldn't see color! How the _hell_ was he supposed to know what packaging's _green_?

He felt a little scammed. But then again, Appa Bang probably didn't know that he couldn't see color... It's so damn ironic too. He was supposed to be a painter and he couldn't even tell what the hell was green. But it shouldn't be _that_ much of a hassle. Felix could always look for a worker. Maybe ask them if they could point to a noodle brand with green packaging.

So, the first worker he asked (which was only an aisle over), stood confused before the stocked shelves of noodles. He couldn't see color either.

The second worker didn't hear Felix properly.

The third — Felix didn't even know where the third went.

Shrouded in defeat, Felix returns to the threatening aisle of noodles, mocking him with their supposed color — those demons!

Felix groans, leaning his forehead against the cart's handlebar, bumping into another cart as he turns the corner.

"Oh! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" The freckled Australian bows in apology, the man bowing back with a sheepish smile. But when Felix's eyes flicker up to glance at him, they widen, his mouth hanging open with a finger pointed at him. "It's you!"

The man arches an eyebrow and Felix laughs awkwardly, placing a hand on his chest and bowing.

"I ran into you a few days ago." Furrowing his eyebrows, the man frowns, tilting his head. "At the street market?"

"Ah!" The man shakes a finger toward the Australian, nodding and smiling so brightly that Felix had to squint to see properly.

"I never got to know if you were okay. You didn't look so well, and I was kind of worried," the taller huffs out a laugh, gesturing to something obscure before playing with his fingers. "Sorry. My friend pulled me away before you recovered."

"Oh. No, no! I'm fine though," The man clears his throat, staring at Felix's eyes. A beat of awkwardness passed between them, neither speaking up and just clearing their throats. The shorter _almost_ asked something — but retracted his hand and shut his mouth before anything could fall out.

"Lee Felix, by the way," the freckled Australian holds out a hand, the man staring at him before shaking it. Felix brightens at that, and the man's jaw hung open so suddenly that he giggles at it. "And you are...?"

"Oh! Oh- sorry- Seo Changbin."

"I didn't think I would find you here... Small world, isn't it?" A breathy chuckle falls out of Felix's lips, glancing at the aisle of noodles before a wonderful idea struck him. He didn't need a damn worker! He had his solution right here! Unless he couldn't see color either and Felix would have to return to Appa Bang, shamed and tail between his legs. He's already shamed them once, he's _not_ doing that again!

"Excuse me, but... could you see color?"

He perks up — almost jumps, actually. He sputters something Felix couldn't understand because of his lack of knowledge about Hanguk-eo (actually the guy was just spouting nonsense Felix couldn't make out). His eyes were wide, making frantic, unknown gestures with his hands.

Felix leans back with furrowed eyebrows with an awkward smile. Damn it, this guy was drunk again, wasn't he? Why did he have to attract an alcoholic?

"Actually, I'm just- " The freckled points down the aisle, already starting to walk. He didn't want to be here any longer — unless he wanted to be on the news tonight.

"Wait!" Changbin exclaims, grabbing Felix's cart and stopping him with eyes wide. Uh oh, red alert. "Yes, I- I can see color."

"Great!" Whatever Felix was previously thinking about the man, was completely thrown out the window. Drunk or not, he needed those noodles for Appa Bang. "Could you tell me which ones have green packaging?"

Changbin hesitates, but turns, eyes glossing over the aisle before landing on one in the bottom row. He takes it, walking over to Felix with furrowed eyebrows.

"Could I... Could I ask you something?" He questions, perking up when Felix gestures to the noodles he was holding with a huff of a laugh. The older hands it to him with a bow, and Felix nods his head. "How come you needed my help?"

Geez, was this man always _this_ nosy? Felix shouldn't have run into him. Maybe then they wouldn't have seen each other. And seriously? _'How come you needed my help?'_ How much of an asshole did he need to be to ask something like that? Can't Felix just ask for help and get a move on?? Appa Bang needs his noodles and Chan needs his snacks, damn it!

"Oh, well — I already asked a few workers," Felix gives him a trying smile. He knew it falters a little, but maybe that's for the better if Changbin saw. "Oh, and I can't see color."


	6. | Quinacridone Red |

"Oh, and I can't see color."

'Oh — and I can't see color.'

'—and I can't see color.'

'I can't see color—'

_'I can't see color.'_

" _Oh, and I can't see color."_

He can't see color???

There must be some mistake. Changbin _swears_ he was the same man he ran into. Felix even said it himself! He had been the one who ran into Changbin! Unless he'd also been mistaken, and this guy was some creepy doppelgänger.

The freckles, the undercut, the deep voice... He had it all! And not to mention, Changbin could finally see clearly. Now, he could notice the cute smile, the rounded cheeks when he beamed, the small button nose, the—

"I'll be leaving then," Felix bows, Changbin perking up and grabbing Felix's shoulder. The younger lets out a small sigh before smiling brightly, turning back to the shorter.

"You're telling me you can't see color?" Changbin furrows his eyebrows, Felix nodding tentatively before frowning.

"Is there something wrong with that?"

"Yes." Changbin sputters when Felix scoffs, jumping back and shaking his head furiously as he made frantic gestures. "No- no- no! I mean—" Changbin sighs in frustration, pulling at his hair as Felix stared curiously at him. Oh geez, everything was going south! He could usually interact with other people so easily! Why did his exceptional people's skills leave him now??

Changbin pleads for it to come back — his _supposed_ soulmate was standing right in front of him! Please, outer Changbin, _please_ don't embarrass inner Changbin.

"I saw color the day I bumped into you so..." Changbin cursed himself. Why was he so outright about it? At least sugar-coat it a little! Felix already seemed sick of his shit and they haven't even known each other for over ten damn minutes!

"Ah, you thought we were soulmates," he nods with lips pressed into a thin line, shaking his head. "Sadly, it's not me. Did you even see your soulmate? You might've bumped into someone else."

 _See_ his soulmate — Changbin could laugh! He couldn't even see a few centimeters in front of him! What makes Felix — _well_ , Changbin doesn't even know if the younger _was_ his soulmate now that he's found out that the freckled man couldn't even see color.

So Changbin just embarrassed himself in front of some random guy he doesn't even know, thinking and implying that they were soulmates when they were clearly _not._ Why was this week so unlucky? Hopefully, he doesn't meet Felix again. He's embarrassed himself enough, and only continuing the conversation will do more harm than good. Even if Changbin enjoyed making new friends.

"No. But- but it's okay," Changbin clears his throat, trying to wipe off the pink that dusted his face. Why was it suddenly so hot? In the winter, and near the fridges, no less. It felt as if he had come down with a fever, the padded jacket that hung over his shoulders not doing him any justice. "Finding a soulmate could always wait."

Ugh, Seo Changbin, why the _hell_ did you say that?? Could he just run away? Could he just turn around without a bow and a goodbye without Felix thinking he was a good-for-nothing asshole? He couldn't, could he? Because all he's been doing is digging himself a grave with every damn word that fell from his mouth. 

"Don't worry, fate always finds a way," the freckled man giggles, bowing to Changbin and gesturing to the noodles. "Thank you, by the way. I'm glad you didn't get too hurt."

Felix waves, turning and rolling the grocery cart out of the aisle. And Changbin let his shoulders slump, slapping his cheeks and hitting the side of his head for being such a bumbling dumbass. He wouldn't normally do this, but he grabs the jug of milk from his cart, pressing the cool surface against his burning forehead. He wondered if anyone passing by saw him pressing his face against a milk jug, but he soon pushed the embarrassing thought in the recesses of his mind.

It was a shame that the mysterious freckled man — Lee Felix — wasn't his soulmate. Changbin would be lying if he didn't find the taller cute, despite the deep voice and the menacing undercut that framed his narrow, freckled face. And when he _smiled_. Gosh, when he smiled, Changbin's heart did weird pitter-patters.

He knows he keeps saying that finding his soulmate wasn't anything more than an afterthought to his key priorities, but Seungmin was right. Seeing color _was_ exciting. Unexpectedly, running into your soulmate is a thrilling thought. It was a source of happiness Changbin didn't think he'd ever experience — that Seungmin was only heightening his expectations. But it was all true. For the most part.

Now he had to run back to Seungmin and take back everything he said about his supposed soulmate. The freckles? The deep voice? The blonde undercut? They belonged to someone, yes. It was just the wrong person.

Changbin only got his hopes up for nothing. He'd have to sit through ten minutes of Seungmin's lecture about being a dumbass now. _Great._

Changbin returns the milk to his cart before someone sees him, sighing and rolling it out of the aisle.

He should get out of this grocery store while he still had the chance. He was now too sad to grab the butter he initially forgot to get.

He goes to the checkout, sadly placing all of his groceries on the conveyor belt. He sadly pulls out his sad wallet, quickly paying for the sad groceries he sadly got.

He was just really sad.

Though before he could roll his cart out of the checkout, he noticed a certain freckled man to the one right beside it. He was placing the bag of carrots on the conveyor belt. A bag of ramyeon, some chips, pork, the green package of noodles he asked Changbin for.

He continued to stand there, staring. Until someone from behind him asks him to move for blocking the checkout.

He bows, apologizes with a smile before rolling his cart from the checkout. Why should he even care about Lee Felix? He's only met the guy eight minutes ago — they weren't even soulmates! And not to mention that he was the primary cause for Changbin's desperate heartache. In Changbin's opinion, he deserved anything bad that ever came his way!

This was revenge for his suffering! Besides, it's not like they'd see each other ever again.

"Aish. My friend gave me the wrong card, I'm sorry."

Nevermind. Changbin scolded himself for immediately making a 180, leaving his cart near the checkouts as he walked toward the freckled man. He arched an eyebrow at Changbin, who bows, pulling out his wallet. 

"I'll pay for him," Changbin hums. When Felix placed a hand on his shoulder, he felt as if he just electrocuted. Fireworks were going off behind his eyes and — actually, looking at a calm Felix, maybe Changbin was just overreacting.

"What are you doing?" Felix questions with furrowed eyebrows, Changbin clearing his throat. His entire body was on fire. Outer Changbin might think he's cool, but inner Changbin is seriously hitting himself against the wall.

"I- I-"

"It's okay, I have cash on me," Felix murmurs, pulling out his wallet until Changbin holds his wrist. The younger jumps, giving Changbin a frown that he shouldn't have found so cute. Don't embarrass yourself, Changbin yells at himself. Don't embarrass yourself—

"No, I'll pay. It's the least I could do." Changbin could almost high-five himself.

"For what?"

Nevermind. He just sounded like a _dumbass_.

"For—" Changbin blinks, letting out a nervous laugh. "For taking your chocolates."

"But I also took your spicy chicken feet and bibimbap," Felix tilts his head to the side, Changbin swiping his card and paying for the younger's groceries. 60,000 won... That's alright. That was nothing but a mere nip at his bank account. Yeah, yeah. Student loans could wait if it meant impressing a cute guy he barely knows in some dank grocery store in the middle of nowhere, Seoul, he guessed.

"It's okay — I was the one who ran into you and knocked you down, and thought that you were my soulmate, after all." Before Felix could retaliate, Changbin hands him the receipt, helping the taller load the plastic bags of groceries into his cart.

"Aish, I feel bad now," Felix pouts as Changbin joins him outside, the older arching an eyebrow before Felix lets out a huff of a laugh. "I just let you buy my groceries. I guess I'm flustered too." Before Changbin could reply, the taller perks up, eyes wide and cheeks splitting into a wide grin that Changbin felt his face heat up at. "Let me take you out to eat."

"H-huh?" Smooth, Changbin. Very smooth. "No! It's okay — you don't have to—"

"I can't just let you get away with paying for my groceries," Felix pouts, pointing a mock threatening finger at the older who leans away. "Plus, just like you said. You stole my chocolates."

"I- I- No- Like- _well_ — _"_ Felix laughs at the older's confused embarrassment, digging into a grocery bag for the receipt and pen that he used to cross out names on his grocery list. He scribbles something onto the paper, leaving Changbin sputtering and confused. And — honestly, if he took a shot every time he embarrassed himself today, he would be dead.

"Fine. Just call me whenever, and I'll take you out for lunch, _free_ of charge!" Felix laughs as he hands the receipt to Changbin, taking it hesitantly, staring at the younger. The freckled man smiles when Changbin didn't react, bowing and thanking the older once more before leaving.

Changbin's eyes follow him down the parking lot, turning the corner and out of the older's sight. He stares down at the receipt, noticing the neat, printed font of the paper with the neat scribbles of Felix's number and his name in English — accompanied with a cute smiley face that the older frowns at.

He immediately shoves it into his pocket, shaking his head and hitting his neck.

No! Seo Changbin didn't get embarrassed. Seo Changbin doesn't fall in love. Seo Changbin isn't a _loser_.

And Felix isn't his soulmate. Felix isn't warm and kind. And Felix _definitely_ isn't cute! 


	7. | Cool White |

"Yah! You're leaving without—" Chan coughs and hacks, clearing his throat from raising his voice so suddenly.

"Chill, we're going with Hyunjin too. He'll be our chaperone," Jisung hums, Felix smiling widely at him with the squirrelly man's arm wrapped around his neck. Chan sat up from his spot on the couch, the blankets that wrapped around him falling to his lap as he scratches his arm. His eyes were glossy and his nose congested, a shiver running through his body when he didn't return to his blankets. He eyes Felix, begging him to stay with eyes wide and a pout on his lips. Honestly, that surprised Felix more than anything. Bang Chan doesn't pout. Bang Chan just _doesn't_ act cute. "He's much more responsible than Felix and I _combined."_

Jisung's eyebrows shot up, his bottom lip jutting out and pointing back and forth between him and Felix, as if trying to make a point to Chan. But the older only frowns, crossing his arms and sighing. He had a point, though. Felix wouldn't trust himself and Jisung either.

Felix felt bad for leaving Chan... But Jisung insisted they go to Nami Island that day. Especially when his friend, Hwang Hyunjin, didn't have class — a once in a lifetime thing. And either Felix passes and never receives another chance, or he leaves Chan behind.

Well — sometimes sacrifices must be made.

Either way, Chan lets them go, sulking as he flops back down onto the couch and turns his head back toward the TV. Felix ruffles his recently dyed black hair as some sort of last-minute apology. He knew that Chan was only being dramatic. He was only joking, but Felix also knew that a part of the older Australian _really_ wanted to go. They've been everywhere together, and sight-seeing was one of his favorite past times.

Another wave and a flying kiss toward the older, Jisung was dragging Felix out to his car, an unfamiliar man sitting in the passenger's seat, beanie on, his eyes glued to his phone. He propped his feet against the storage compartment, a dark windbreaker on his shoulders as he hugged another coat close.

"What'd his dad say?" the man asks as Jisung sits in the driver's seat after stuffing the freckled Australian into the back.

"He's not Felix's dad. Also, if anything happens to Felix on this trip, just know that _you'll_ be the one facing Chan," Jisung says, buckling himself in before driving out to the street and down the road. He gestures to the man with his head, huffing, and turning into a bigger street. "This is Hyunjin by the way. I've told you about him before."

"You did?" His eyebrows shot up, turning to Felix. The Australian could see his face much more clearly, his narrow eyes glinting as they turned upwards into amused crescents, plump lips parting as they turned down into a frown. "He said nothing bad about me, did he?"

From what Jisung told Felix during one of their late-night facetimes, Hwang Hyunjin was the squirrelly man's high school rival and long-time friend. Apparently, they attended the same high school, had many of the same classes, and got into a lot of... _more than interesting_ fights. But the time they spent in detention together was what helped them become friends, anyway.

Jisung saw that the older was annoying but... So was he. And this shocking revelation helped them set apart their differences-. And now, here they were. Driving and chaperoning Felix so the younger wasn't stuck at home with a sick Chan for a week instead of sight-seeing. A divorced couple taking their kid out, if you will.

"Sungie told me you paint," Hyunjin hums, turning back around and instead looking out the window, tapping along to the soft hip-hop that came from the radio. "For how long?"

"For a decade. I started when I was in elementary," Felix replies, Jisung perking up and hitting the older's chest repeatedly. "But I didn't start taking it seriously until high school."

"Yah. You have to see them, they're really breath-taking!" He exclaims, his hand hovering over his mouth as he gasps dramatically. "When I first saw it, I was like _'wow. It looks better in person.'_ and he still can't see color. Hyunjin, you _have_ to see them. I can just imagine how good they look _with_ color."

"You're giving me too much credit, Ji," Felix giggles, cupping both of his cheeks and smiling sheepishly. "You're too nice to me."

"All for my baby," Jisung cheekily says, smiling at the younger through the rear-view mirror.

"Could you see color, Hyunjin?" Felix questions, leaning over to see the taller nodding with a small hum and a smile.

"Yeah. I was basically born with it."

"He's being dramatic. He met his soulmate when he was like six," Jisung scoffs, yelping when Hyunjin punches his arm. 

"Really? Who is it?" Felix questions, eyebrows shooting up.

"I don't know," Hyunjin shrugs with a bubbly laugh. He continues scrolling through his phone, unbothered by the thought others would usually freak out about. "We were very young. And _stupid_ and couldn't grasp the concept of finding soulmates. So we kinda lost each other without even knowing."

"Yeah, this guy thought that seeing color was normal," Jisung sneers, chuckling but apologizing furiously when Hyunjin held up a threatening hand.

Felix realized how easy it was for soulmates to lose each other. That it was as common than, per se, not finding a soulmate at all. Maybe both were in a rush (as was the case for Changbin), maybe they were both young and just didn't notice (as was the case for Hyunjin). Whatever the reason was, it was heartbreaking to lose a soulmate, in whatever way. Whether they lose each other, they never find each other, or one of them dies. Soulmates were supposed to be bound for life. It's always saddening to lose someone who they're supposed to find happiness in.

To Felix, being able to see color but losing a soulmate might be the biggest downer of the bunch. He wouldn't know what to do if he found his soulmate but lose them right after. He could see color, but what for? His soulmate wasn't there, so seeing color just becomes a constant reminder of his carelessness.

And imagine living with that thought for years, as Hyunjin did. He knows he belongs to someone, but it's almost impossible to find them since he could now see color. Whereas, for the people who still saw gray, they at least had a hope that someone they bump into could give them that splash of color. If Hyunjin ever bumped into his soulmate, he wouldn't ever know.

And that, Felix thinks, might be the saddest thing that could ever happen to soulmates.

Though, seeing Hyunjin, he guessed that the older was already used to the feeling.

"Felix, you know, in high school, Hyunjin freaked out because he was so _sure_ this girl was his soulmate?" Jisung bursts out into laughter, his shoulders shaking when he tried to suppress it. "So he basically made such a huge deal about it, especially since they had _almost_ the same sob story. Except hers was set in Japan."

"We don't talk about that," the older barks.

"You know, I'm pretty sure there was a drama with a situation like Hyunjin's," Jisung pipes up, the older rolling his eyes and slouching into his seat. "It wasn't very good. Kind of like Hyunjin's love life."

"Yah, Lee Felix," Hyunjin scoffs, turning to the smug squirrelly man with a hiss and frown. "Don't become like this idiot over here when you grow up. A rock has a higher IQ than him."

"Nah, but seriously, think about this—" Jisung lets one hand fall from the wheel, making an obscure gesture as Hyunjin and Felix both listen intently to his absurd ideas. They both didn't even know why they're friends with Jisung. The man should have obvious priorities but always places useless or unusual desires before them. Either that, or he gets distracted easily and forgets until the last second. "Finding love would be cool though. I can finally write love songs that hold at least _some_ sort of merit, instead of y'know — taking inspiration from dramas and shit."

See? The man was unpredictable. But maybe that's a reason Felix liked him so much.

"Like just think about it! Lyrics would come out so quickly with inspiration right at my fingertips, right?"

"Holy shit, how stupid are you?" Hyunjin exclaims, turning his body to stare wide-eyed at the confused squirrelly man. "That's not how soulmates work."

"No. I mean — if I wanted a soulmate, I would've met mine already. I'm just too busy to find my soulmate. And if I find them tomorrow or the day after that, so be it! For now, let me dream," Jisung sighs as Hyunjin slaps his forehead. Felix laughs at both of them, reaching over and patting the taller's shoulder reassuringly.

He knew how Jisung's antics could tire someone out so quickly.

**—-**

Jisung always said how beautiful Namiseom was at this time.

Though what Felix thought were mere exaggerations, was actually the truth. Of course, the older always boasted that Autumn was the best time to come to the place, but Felix could only afford to go in winter.

That being said, it was _freezing_ over at the island — much more so than back in Seoul. Felix now understood why Hyunjin brought a coat overtop his windbreaker. Luckily, Jisung had a scarf and an extra coat in his trunk that he tucked the freckled Australian into. And not even one step onto the ferry (Hyunjin suggested they take the zipline, but Jisung was too much of a pussy) the older was already asking if Felix was warm. He was, and despite the many reassurances from the younger, Jisung continued to hug him in hopes that he'd be warm. Honestly, this squirrel was too nice to him.

A thin sheet of snow covered the ground at Namiseom, Hyunjin the first to kick it playfully with bright smiles at Felix and Jisung. At one point, Felix regretted his decision of tagging along. This was a _complete_ 180 to the weather he's used to and despite traveling internationally, this was one of Felix's first encounter with snow. But he quickly grew used to it, especially when Jisung continued to hug him from behind as they walked down paths.

But to say Namiseom was pretty was an understatement. It was _beautiful_. Even though many trees were barren and lined with snow, it didn't take away any of its beauty. Instead, it added to it, especially the ones in the numerous tree lanes.

Hyunjin would sometimes describe the surrounding colors, giving Felix somewhat of an idea what this half-baked winter wonderland looked like. While most of them were varying shades of white, the red leaves and the brown trees accented that white- or so Hyunjin says. Felix trusts him anyway.

They just finished sledding and sight-seeing around the island. Honestly, one day at the island wasn't enough to absolve their curiosity, but one day was still enough and the trio had plenty of fun to last them at least a week.

Sitting at a nearby bench near the ostriches, Hyunjin and Jisung let the freckled Australian paint as their energetic arrival at the island didn't leave room for Felix's usual scenery intake through watercolor.

Hyunjin sat beside Felix, watching as the freckled Australian continued to paint an ostrich ways away. Jisung suggested painting a squirrel, but it'd be near impossible to paint something so jittery (that's why Felix never went past sketching Jisung).

"Don't hold my hand, please," Hyunjin pulls his hand away when Jisung whines beside him, pouting.

"But there are so many romantic areas around here! Especially in the winter!" Jisung exclaims, furrowing his eyebrows as Hyunjin lets out a breath of a laugh. "I, at least, need a date whenever we visit."

"Go find someone else," Hyunjin haughtily says, the younger pouting. He then points to something scampering down a snowy area down the lane, laughing and gesturing to the younger. "Look, there's a squirrel right there. If you want to have a date, at least find someone who's similar to you."

"We are similar! I'm handsome, you're—" Jisung exclaims, Felix accidentally letting out the scoff that threatened his lips. He coughs, eyes wide as they flicker up to the squirrelly man before he returns to his paintings, acting as if nothing happened. "Yah- Yah! Why d'you scoff for — you—"

"See? Felix gets it," Hyunjin presses his lips into a thin smile, Jisung rolling his eyes and opting to lay his head against the older's shoulder. The taller turns back to Felix, hyper-focused on the monochrome paintings of their surroundings: the ostriches, the trees, the huts, the strung lights — even a quick sketch of Jisung he did while they waited for Hyunjin to get lunch. "Can I see your other paintings?"  
  


Felix perks up, eyes wide as they stared at the older. Other than people in his art classes and his professors back at the college (and maybe unknown individuals on his social media platforms where he posts his works) Hyunjin was the first with the ability to see color who'd be seeing his pieces. While those back at the university were his classmates and professors, Hyunjin was more of a friend. _Jisung's_ close friend. So that only made him a little shy to show his paintings. Nervous, even.

"You don't have to if you're uncomfortable!" Hyunjin exclaims when he noticed Felix's hesitation. "I have a few artist friends back at school, so I know how annoying it is when random people ask if they could see your pieces, so—"

"Yah, Hyunjin, stop annoying Felix and let him paint," Jisung huffs, slapping at the taller's thigh.

"No- no! It's okay, Ji. Hyunjin's cool, it's fine if he wants to see my paintings," Felix smiles, reaching over and going through his bag. Felix hands him the sketchbook he filled up during his trip in Southeast Asia — the Philippines, Indonesia, Malaysia, and such. Maybe the sight of tropical islands and humid weather could help warm up the pair. Or at least warm Hyunjin up since he was the only one who could see color between the trio.

"Woh—" Felix returned to painting, hoping Hyunjin doesn't notice his embarrassment. At least if the older criticizes them, he could easily play it — "These are beautiful!"

Nevermind.

"See? I told you they look good. Does it look better with color?"

"Definitely," Hyunjin hums, flipping to the next page after he finishes examining and awing at a current piece. Felix perks up, eyes wide and glimmering.

"You're messing with me, aren't you?" the freckled Australian furrows his eyebrows.

"No, no, seriously!" Hyunjin exclaims, his lips curling into a smile to accompany Felix's as he turns his head toward the younger. "You're really good."

Felix tries to hide his smile behind his hand as he continues painting. Compliments from Chan and Jisung were nice, but hearing compliments about his art from someone who sees color could almost par with anything else. It was nice to hear that he was painting things right, that he was doing his job properly as an artist even though he still couldn't see color.

It's kind of hard to find motivation when he was unsure of every color he placed down. He didn't know if they looked good together — if they harmonized or contrasted. But with Hyunjin's reassurance...

 _That_ made Felix forget the cold. Especially when the sun was setting soon, the weather growing colder around the trio.

"It's cool that you paint, Lix," Hyunjin hums. "Because once you find your soulmate and see color, you'll see your art in a different light."


	8. | Dioxazine Purple |

This wasn't unusual. Not unusual at all. 

Seungmin and Changbin were both stuck back at the office, burning the midnight oil (Changbin wishes he could burn these manuscripts instead), living off of coffee as their primary source of energy.

They were currently the only ones left in the building beside their supervisor who always clocked out late. Most of the lights shut off except for the ones in the hallway. The duo's only source of light came from the one lamp that clung to the edge of Changbin's desk, numerous pencil scratchings on paper, sips of coffee pacing back and forth between the two.

This wasn't unusual.

And honestly? Changbin needed some normality. It was a fresh week, all the absurd events and embarrassment from last week gone and forgotten. What was the saying? Yesterday's history, tomorrow's a mystery? And even though the two were doing agonizing overtime, today might as well be a present to Changbin.

It was almost 8 and he was barely two manuscripts in. He was all for proofreading whenever asked, but his usually excited demeanor was only open during available working hours 9-to-5. Right now, he just wanted to go home.

Seungmin, on the other hand, started playing music out loud as he worked. Changbin was also all for efficient working habits, but the music didn't help the older _at all_. Especially when Seungmin would sing and dance along to the song, Changbin would irritatingly glance up and frown at the younger. But he couldn't deny Seungmin, the devil. Especially when their desks were right across from each other.

If he did, Seungmin would only glance up, stare back at him — before turning up the volume.

"Hyung, what the hell are you doing?" Changbin perks up at the sound of Seungmin's voice, clearing his throat and sitting up properly.

"What- what am I doing?" Changbin stammers, the younger arching an eyebrow at his (very) sketchy friend.

"You've been staring at that manuscript for almost an hour."

"It's full of mistakes — what—"

"Hyung," Seungmin leans over, narrowing his eyes with the biggest fucking grin that Changbin wishes he could slap off. _That_ was the face of a con artist. "You haven't made any marks or turned the page. What the hell is taking so long?"

"Oh, y'know—" Changbin clears his throat, turning the page, _finally._ "Just a slow reader." Changbin knew Seungmin could pick out his bullshit, but didn't indulge the older any longer. He only shrugged it off and returned to his own manuscript. His problem wasn't Changbin's and Changbin's wasn't his.

Seungmin arched an eyebrow as he caught the shorter leaning down, peeking at him from between the books and monitors that separated their desks. The older perks up, leaning back and returning to his own business.

"Hyung—"

"Seungmin, could you have like... a soulmate, right?" Changbin clears his throat, Seungmin leaning on his elbows with furrowed eyebrows. "And you could see color but your soulmate can't. That's possible, right?"

Seungmin scoffs, gesturing to Changbin and his manuscript with his head. "Yah. You know that these manuscripts are just works of fiction, right? Anything in them could happen. We don't need a reality check unless it's nonfiction."

"Oh, yeah—" Changbin huffs out a nervous laugh, returning to his own stacks of manuscripts. Seungmin usually had expert advice and is Changbin's close friend. But sometimes, he could be so daft! That wasn't the answer Changbin was looking for. But then again, what answer _was_ he looking for? For Seungmin, the all-knowing encyclopedia about soulmates, to say yes? Then what?

He was only getting his hopes up for Felix.

"I think this translation's plagiarized," Seungmin mutters, pushing up his round glasses as he sits properly on his chair. "Wanna switch? I for sure know this is from another book, plus you're better at translating than me."

"No way," Changbin scoffs, threatening the younger with a stapler. The devil's words won't work on him today, no thank you. "You can translate fine. You're just trying to weasel your way out of overtime again."

Seungmin scoffs, grimacing at the older before slouching back into his chair, throwing the manuscript onto the desk with a sigh.

"Hyung. I need to go to the office library to check something. Do you have the keys?"

Changbin checks his pockets, hesitating when he finds a folded, crumpled receipt instead. He throws it onto his desk and gestures to their supervisor's office. "Ms. Park should have it. Ask her before she leaves."

With a nod, Seungmin walks away, leaving his phone playing soft hip-hop music on his desk. Leaning over, double-checking if the younger was out of sight, Changbin sighs, throwing the manuscript onto his desk as he leans back into his office chair, running his hands through his hair.

A chance at normality and Changbin gone and fucked it up.

Why can't he go a day without his mind wandering off to places it shouldn't be? Such as thinking about a certain freckled man that Changbin didn't want as his soulmate.

Kind of.

He tried to refrain himself, he really did. But ultimately, he reached for the receipt on his desk, unfolding it. Gosh, the name, the number, the messy smiley face — this must be all a dream, right? A dumb dream (or maybe nightmare, if Changbin's embarrassment doesn't end) where he falls in love with someone who _isn't_ his soulmate. He knows he'll only end up hurting himself and embarrassing Felix.

But was he dumb? Apparently, he was dumb enough to pull out his phone and tap in Felix's number. He reasoned with himself that this was just a friendly meeting. Felix suggested that he take him out to eat to thank Changbin, and this was all it _was_. A friendly... One-sided love...

No, Changbin was getting ahead of himself. He wasn't even dumped yet! He had no right to call it one-sided when there was nothing there to begin with. 

"Aish! Seriously!" Changbin was two rings into the call when he hung up, shutting off his phone and throwing his head back. He drags his hands over his face, clenching his teeth and just — just wanting to _scream_!

But Seungmin would _never_ let that die down.

"Seo Changbin, you aren't a loser," he says to himself, scrambling off his chair and leaning against the backrest. "Don't do this to yourself. It's barely Monday!"

One thing Seungmin always reprimanded him for was his stubbornness. And if the older didn't listen to Seungmin, who on Earth made him think he'll listen to himself? But there was still a chance! Maybe his rational self could restrain his impulsive side — that he was better — _no,_ he _is_ better than this!

"Hello? Who is this?"

Too late. Felix answered the call.

"I—" And of course, once his impulsive side got his way, he shoves everything back to his rational side to take care of any embarrassment, any problems that ever appeared. But couldn't he _just_ take care of this problem for once? Changbin's rational side could take care of any embarrassment, _except_ for any that involved a certain freckled individual. Since approaching him only makes him throw _any_ rational thought out the window.

"Hello?" The familiar deep voice yanked Changbin out of the civil war with himself, nodding and jumping back to his seat.

"Felix! Hi, it's uh — it's me, Seo Changbin," The said man clears his throat, leaning over and stealing a lollipop from Seungmin's desk to calm his nerves. Why was he so nervous, anyway? This is just a friendly conversation. Just a friendly conversation. Just a — "I was thinking—" Changbin stands before sitting back down, opting to click his pen as his leg bounced furiously. "I thought about your offer and wondered if you were down to eat."

A pause.

"Uh — right now?" Felix questions, Changbin letting out a choked hum.

Smooth, _Changbin,_ he told himself. You're doing well.

" _Well_ — _"_

Changbin heard a door slide open, distant cheering, and a: _"_ _Yongbok! There you are! Hyunjin's drunk and you need to help me get him out of there before his student loans get worse_ — _Yah! Are you listening? He's going to buy everyone a round!"_

Another pause.

"Uh—" Changbin clears his throat. Of course, he called at the worst time possible. "Bad time?"

"Ah! No, no — it's just..." Felix sighs, Changbin hearing the door slide shut. "Sorry, my friends dragged me out drinking today, and... How about tomorrow?" He exclaims, Changbin's heart surging out of his chest but ultimately getting stuck in his throat. "I know I said lunch but like... what about breakfast? Tomorrow? Wherever you want?"

"Are you sure? I could always—"

"Yah! I've already offered twice, you can't keep backing out!"

Changbin doesn't know what he liked more. The excitement of seeing color brought along or merely hearing Felix laugh through the phone.

"Alright, uhm... I go to a cafe before work, anyway. How about I'll meet you there?" Changbin smiles brightly, turning his office chair from one side to another. "I'll send you the address."

 _"Yongbok!"_ Changbin hears the same voice from earlier, Felix sighing.

"Aish — Seriously. Sorry, I gotta go. I'll see you tomorrow!"

"See you..." Changbin smiled as Felix hung up, giggling and spinning his chair. He was dancing along to the song coming from Seungmin's phone, moving as he was just electrocuted, trying to tuck himself into the office chair's side. For _once_ , he didn't embarrass himself in front of Felix! For _once_ , he actually said something to him without staring and acting like a bumbling mess. For _once_ —

"Gah!" Changbin screams as Seungmin stops the chair from spinning, hands on both armrests and staring at the older wide-eyed, cheeks splitting into a grin.

"Yah- Yah! You scared me! You—" Seungmin jumps back with a yelp as the shorter reached for his stapler, raising it and threatening to throw it at the puppy-eyed individual.

"Hyung! I was just messing around! I didn't think you'd take it so seriously!" Seungmin bolts to his desk, using his office chair as a blockade when the older stands up. Changbin rolls his eyes, his momentary happiness interrupted. Thanks to Seungmin, he's back to his bitchy self.

"But Hyung..." Seungmin coughs out when the older sits back down, scooting his chair closer to his desk and fumbling with the previously forgotten manuscript. He tried to keep himself from smiling, though. Felix was too much of a happy pill that made Changbin feel the effects of for hours. "Who were you talking to?"

"Jeongin called, asked us if we wanted to go out tonight." Changbin waved him off, Seungmin taking a seat with wide eyes.

"Then let's go!" the younger exclaims. "I'm almost done, anyway."

"Yah. He has work tomorrow morning and school in the afternoon," Changbin gestures to the younger with his head, furrowing his eyebrows. "Geez, this is why I think you're a bad influence on him. I'm doing this for his own good."

Seungmin scoffs, leaning back into his chair, blowing out a puff of air that hits his gray bangs. "No fun." When Changbin finally returns to his usual workflow, jotting down notes, crossing out typos — Seungmin hums, glancing up. "You were too happy to be talking to Jeongin."

Changbin's eyes shot up, slowly turning his chair to catch the taller's gaze on him. Smug, all-knowing — the devil could see through anyone, Changbin guessed. But he tried to act cool about it. Panicking only feeds the devil, and once Seungmin sees Changbin panic, that means that the younger's won.

And there's no way in _hell_ will Changbin ever let Seungmin win. Purposely, at least.

"Who was that?" The younger leans forward, pushing up his glasses as his cheeks rounded into a smile.

"For a dongsaeng, you're really fucking nosy, aren't you?" Changbin points the manuscript at the younger, narrowing his eyes as Seungmin retaliates with a roll of his eyes and a breathy laugh.

"For a hyung, you indulge your dongsaengs too much."

"Yah!" Changbin barks, clearing his throat when he stammers. And at that, Seungmin _laughs_. "How dare—"

"So," The gray-haired man shrugs, returning to his work as if he didn't just offend Changbin three ways, up and over. He skips the song that played from his phone, sucking in a breath as he nods. "Who do you have a date with?"

Date? _Date?!_ Who said his outing with Felix was a date? Who does Seungmin _think_ he is, making assumptions like that? Seriously, once Seungmin turns 22, the younger will be begging for forgiveness ten thousand times and more for all the misery he's placed Changbin through.

"Hyung," Seungmin sighs at Changbin's breathless sputtering, scoffing, and stammering. He leans forward on his elbows, pressing his lips together into a thin line and nodding. "You're so helpless. We've known each other long enough to know that whoever you're talking to is _very_ special."

"Special? Special how?" the older questions, arching an eyebrow.

"They just made you smile and spin in your chair, what do you mean ' _how'_?" Seungmin furrows his eyebrows, frowning. He runs a hand through his gray hair, leaning back and breathlessly laughing at the confused look that phased through Changbin's features, still not catching on to what Seungmin was suggesting.

Seriously, maybe Changbin was as oblivious to himself as he was to other people. 


	9. | Warm White |

How long can a man lay dying on a couch?

Or, rather, how long can someone lay _complaining_ on a couch?

“Where are you going? All fancy...”

Felix perks up at the familiar congested voice that called out to him from across the living room, noticing the pale Australian curled up in the couch’s corner, previously watching some morning drama. He furrowed his eyebrows, his lips turning downward into a frown as Felix tied his boots.

Chan had been sick for four days. Well, he _almost_ recovered two days into his sickness, but the dumbass refused to keep warm. He wanted to go outside, and _maybe_ almost fell asleep in the backyard in 2.7-degree weather. Felix knew the older’s cold tolerance was much stronger than his, but he should at least sleep _inside_.

Seriously, Felix didn’t know what the bed did for the older to dislike sleeping on regular beds so much. Can’t the guy just sleep like a normal person?

Either way, because of his idiocy, he’s bed-ridden — or rather, _couch-_ ridden (the guy just _absolutely_ refused to stay in bed all day) for another day or two. He’s getting better at least, and Felix suspects they would be out and about by tomorrow.

Only if Chan doesn’t fall asleep in the backyard again. The temperature dropped a couple degrees today, too.

“I’m not dressed fancy.” At least Felix didn’t think he was. _Well_ — when he remembered that he was meeting with Changbin, he _did_ stand a bit longer in front of his suitcases, digging into his clothes and coats and jackets. He tried to remind himself that this was just a regular breakfast, but he couldn’t help it. Some unknown part of him wanted to dress to impress for the casual occasion, and he guessed he could indulge _some_ part of it.

“Sure you are,” Chan takes a sip of his awful medicinal tea Eomma Bang coerced him into drinking after his stubborn refusals the past days. He gags before gesturing to Felix, the younger running a hand through his hair. “That’s the coat I got you in Europe.”

“Ah,” Felix laughs, shaking his head. “It’s comfortable, leave me alone. Plus, it’s cold. And I don’t want to get sick, please.”

“Where are you going?” The older asks, returning to his morning drama.

“I’m treating someone out to breakfast.”

“I thought Jisung was busy today.”

“Oh, no, it’s not Jisung,” Felix huffs, checking the time on his phone. He was an hour too early than what Changbin arranged. Felix guessed that he got a little _too_ excited for such a casual meeting. The cafe was nearby too. The same cafe Felix and Chan ate breakfast in during their first day into Korea. But he guessed he could paint while waiting for the older. “Just someone I met a few days ago.”

“You... You’re meeting someone you’ve only known for a few days?” Chan jutted his head forward, eyebrows shooting up behind his curly bangs and wondering if he heard right. “And you’re treating them out to breakfast??”

“ _Well_ — _“_ The freckled Australian sheepishly smiles as he rubs the back of his neck, Chan arching an eyebrow and jaw hung slightly. “He’s the guy I accidentally ran into. In the street market. And remember when you gave me the wrong card? He paid for my groceries so...” Felix clears his throat, nodding in affirmation, his smile betraying his trying, stern expression. “This is the least I could do, hyung.”

Felix knew that he probably didn’t convince the older Australian all too well. After all, the man took the definition of _“stranger danger,”_ to another level when it came to Felix. If they were back in Australia, the older was _much_ more lenient. But in a strange world? With strange people? _That_ was a huge no-no.

“Hyung, I’ll be _fine_ ,” Felix frowns when Chan places his legs over his lap, almost trapping him as the younger patted his calf. “It’s nearby. I only need to walk.”

The older huffs, glancing away and nodding as if he was thinking. For added effect, when Chan arches an eyebrow at Felix, the freckled Australian pouts, his bottom lip jutting out dramatically as he makes puppy-eyes at Chan.

“Fine. Make sure you dress up warmly and be careful, okay? And remember to answer my calls if I check up on you, and- and—” Chan sighs exasperatedly, both hands escaping the warm confines of his blankets and making obscure gestures. “Remember to take money with you. I don’t want some _other_ random guy paying for you and making you _obligated_ to pay him back like this—”

“Hyung,” Felix bubbles, nudging the older’s feet off of him and sauntering over to where Chan leaned against the armrest. He wraps his arms around the older’s shoulders, placing his chin against the curly hair. “You don’t have to worry about me. I’m not like you.”

“I know, just—” Chan sighs, holding Felix’s arm and running his thumb over the younger’s sleeve. “Be _careful_ , okay? Jisung’s not there, _I’m_ not there."

“I’ll keep my phone on at all times, so if you ever have a weird Aussie feeling, just call me and I’ll answer, yeah?”

Chan huffs out a laugh, throwing his head back to stare up at the freckled Australian. When the latter brushed the hair out of his eyes, his eyes flutter shut, sighing and leaning into the younger's touch. 

“I’m sorry for being sick. I’m supposed to be having fun with you around Korea, but I’ve just been stuck at home.”

Felix waves him off. He was too grateful for Chan to accept the older’s apologies, anyway. Not when Chan pouts and whines like this.

“You help me enough. Do you want anything?”

“A kiss,” Chan leans up, smiling brightly at the younger Felix gags dramatically, pushing Chan away as the older puckers his lips and raises his arms to invite the younger into a hug.

“I don’t wanna get sick,” Felix grimaces, shaking his head as he grabs his coat from the couch backrest, patting the older’s shoulder

“Lix! I want a kiss! Kiss me before you leave!” Chan sits up, eyes wide at the younger, mouth agape and a scoff at the tip of his tongue at the younger’s disregard.

“I’ll bring you back a ham and cheese.” The younger scrunched his nose with a cheeky smile, grabbing his bag and letting it hang from his shoulder. “Love you! I won’t be long!”

Before Chan could insist, Felix ran out the door, slamming the door behind him and jumping and giggling down the stairs — before almost slipping and scrambling for the wall to regain his balance.

Did anyone see that...? No. Might as well play it off. 

He considered himself a little immature for getting so excited like this. Again, it was a casual breakfast, in a casual setting, with a casual aura. But some kiddy part of himself actually enjoyed making new friends (or at least that’s what he used to excuse his sudden excitement). He blamed it on Chan for making him so ditzy this morning.

The walk to the cafe wasn’t long, especially when Felix begged to escape the cold weather — almost bolting into the warm, comfortable kisses of the cafe. Many people already situated themselves into the establishment, waddling over to the counter where a barista and a man bickered along.

Felix decided to order himself some iced coffee (there was no point using hot coffee to warm himself up when they usually cool down to a distasteful temperature while Felix paints) and some breakfast, trying to tuck himself further into his scarf as he did so.

And even when he waited in line (despite being the only one waiting) the barista and the man continued to bicker, almost forgetting that Felix was there to order.

But it was fine, Felix had another 45 minutes.

“Hyung, I told you, it’s in the damn dorm!” The barista hisses, rolling his narrow, fox-like eyes as the other, taller individual scoffs.

“The dorm, my ass! I searched everywhere. I let you use my damn laptop _once_ and you immediately lose it,” the man barks, his palms leaning on the counter as he curses at the barista. Despite his obvious bite, his bark didn’t have an edge to them, his voice soft and rounded. But his glare made up for the lost intimidation, the barista bowing in apology almost immediately despite his previous rebellion.

“Look, I’ll check my backpack in a second,” the barista waves the man off, bowing to Felix as they finally acknowledge the Australian’s presence. “Hi, what can I get you?”

“Iced Vanilla Latte, grande, please,” Felix smiles sheepishly, pulling out his wallet. “And—”

“You’re here early.” Felix almost jumps at the sudden tap to his shoulder, turning around, his wide eyes meeting familiar narrow ones.

“Seo Changbin! Hi—” Felix greets the shorter with a small bow, laughing nervously and gesturing to the menu. “I- I thought I was too early so...”

Why was he suddenly so nervous? Damn it, where were Jisung and Chan when he needed them. And to think he could meet someone alone! Chan was right about placing restrictions when meeting new people.

“Well, I guess we’re both early. Which makes us on time,” he clears his throat, eyes glossing up at the menu. When Felix _kind of_ forgot he was staring at Changbin, the latter coughs and nudged the freckled Australian as the barista cleared his throat. Changbin smiles, shaking his head as he recited his order.

Geez, where did all of Felix’s previous excitement go??

“Changbin? What the hell are you doing here?” The man, who had been previously bickering with the barista, gestured to Felix. “With... Wait, who are you?”

“Oh, Lee Felix,” Felix bows with a bright smile, his freckled cheeks rounding. Before he could continue with his introduction, Changbin stepped between the man and Felix.

“Hyung—” Changbin mutters, the man arching an eyebrow. His eyes went from Changbin to Felix, then to Changbin, then to Felix — then to the barista, before immediately gasping, pointing at the shorter.

“Are you on a date?!” The man immediately yelps when the barista smacks his arm, grumbling small curses and mute mutters under his breath.

“Minho hyung, how rude can you be??” the barista sighs exasperatedly, running a hand through his hair and shaking his head at the man — Minho.

“Geez, I only thought Changbin found his soulmate. Seriously—” Minho scoffs, gesturing to Changbin with furrowed eyebrows as he rubs his arm. “I was only getting my hopes up. Even if he finds his soulmate, our Binnie is too stupid to even notice.”

And again with the soulmate talk. Felix never found it rude whenever someone asked if he had a soulmate or not (being a painter, it shocked everyone to find out that he still couldn’t see color) and even now, when Minho blurted out what other people would otherwise find... borderline rude, Felix didn’t mind it.

But it _did_ make his heart squeal a bit. He didn’t know _why._ He didn’t know _how_. But maybe the aforementioned “ _date”_ with Seo Changbin had something to do with it.

But this was casual... This was casual — this was casual.

“Yah!” Changbin exclaims, Minho jumping back as the shorter threatened to punch the taller. “You can’t make fun of me when _you_ don’t even _have_ a soulmate! All you ever do is kiss your cats’ a—”

“This is a misunderstanding,” Felix laughs out nervously, all eyes on him as he held up his hands for some unknown gesture. “I’m only taking Seo Changbin out as a thank you for buying my groceries.”

A pause. A _long_ pause. A _very_ long pause.

Then jaws hit the floor.

“Ex-excuse me??” The barista stammers, Minho grimacing. “Changbin Hyung he—”

“Can we pay please?” Changbin coughs out, trying to block the barista with his hands, only for the taller to push it out of the way.

“Can you see color?” The barista questions, his narrow eyes shooting up behind his bangs.

“Yah! You two are hella rude, seriously!” Changbin flicks the barista’s forehead, the younger perking up and shaking his head with wide eyes. When he noticed Changbin’s deadpan, he bows sheepishly, taking Felix’s card and swiping it.

“We were curious,” Minho shrugs, leaning against the counter and eyeing the freckled Australian. 

“Curious my ass. You’re making Felix uncomfortable.”

“Ah, no, it’s okay.” Felix bows though running after Changbin when he realized the older walked away. Changbin chose a table near the window (a reasonable distance away from the teasing duo), sighing and gesturing to Felix as they took their seats. 

"Sorry about that. They could be... _a lot_ , sometimes."

"It's okay, really," the freckled Australian waves a hand with a breathy laugh, a smile spreading on the older's face as well. "Friends of yours?"

"Sadly," Changbin sighs, Felix laughing at that. He couldn't stop laughing and giggling at every remark Changbin said — and honestly, it irritated the fuck out of him. Please, Lee Felix, just have a normal conversation with a stranger.

"It's funny, actually. I'm staying nearby and didn't know you'd choose this cafe," Felix stares down at his hands, feeling something warm spread over his cheeks, though subtly.

"Oh! Did you move recently? I go by this cafe every day and this is the first time I ever saw you so..."

"No, no, I'm actually from Australia." Changbin whistles, nodding and smiling along with his impressed gesture toward the younger. That made pride swell in the depths of Felix's chest — for _some_ reason... "My best friend and I, we're traveling during the holidays. We just traveled all throughout Asia. Korea is actually our last stop for Christmas and New Year before we go back to Australia. But he got sick so... I'm by myself for now."

"Really? You travel?" Changbin's eyebrows shot up, a giggle pushing past his lips that Felix shouldn't have found cute. "You must be lucky. I'm just chained to my desk and coworkers all day long."

"I'm just trying to make the best out of my winter break. Once I go back to Australia, I'll be drowning in art projects."

"Art projects...?"

"Oh! Yeah! I paint," Felix perks up, brightening and letting out a sheepish laugh. Don't be so excited to tell Changbin about your profession. This is casual, Lee Felix—"One of the main reasons I even travel is because of an art project. I have to submit a few pieces that convey so much emotion just by using color and shading. And since the holidays are coming up, my professor thought this would be the best time."

"But you said you can't see color," Changbin leans forward, intrigued by the conversation (a childish part of Felix thought that the older might be intrigued in him). Though when Felix outwardly furrows his eyebrows and tilts his head, Changbin perks up, shaking his head and holding his hands up in defense. "Not that I'm saying you'd be a terrible painter or you _can't_ be one! I'm just — curious."

"Well, most, if not all, of my classmates can already see color and that's why they started painting. But I fell in love with the emotions paintings brought along first. So, even though I can't see color, it kind of didn't matter to me. As long as a piece has great shading and values, I try my best to convey an emotion using painting."

Before Changbin could reply, the fox-eyed barista walked over to their table, placing Felix's Iced Latte and Changbin's Iced Americano on the table, leaning near Felix with a bright smile that the freckled Australian couldn't help but return.

"Yang Jeongin, by the way." The barista holds out a hand and eagerly shakes Felix's hand. "This is the first time I've ever seen Changbin hyung do anything other than work so — I'm always excited to meet any of his new friends."

"Yes, yes, he's glad to meet you, now—"

Jeongin ignores the older's insistent nagging, instead, dragging a nearby chair and sitting between the two (though mostly looking at Felix and completely ignoring the other).

"You already seem very interesting — please, tell me about yourself."

"Oh, uh—" Jeongin smiles and Felix was already melting in his seat. He knows they've only met seconds earlier, but Felix already felt like some secondary nature sprouted within him: he needed to protect this fox at all costs.

"Do you like Changbin?"

" _Okay!_ That's enough!" Changbin seemed to think otherwise, Jeongin yelping when the shorter pulls his ear and drags him off the chair, yelling out a frantic, _"Hyung, what did I do??"_ that caught everyone in the cafe's attention. "It's about time you leave, Innie." Jeongin opens his mouth to protest. " _Now."_

Jeongin closes his mouth in acceptance, bowing to Changbin and Felix before scurrying off.

When Changbin returns to his seat, he sighs, running a hand through his hair that Felix giggles at.

"I'm sorry about him, he's an annoying piece of shit," the older bows apologetically, Felix waving him off.

"No, no, it's fine, really. He's cute."

"So, how do you know what color to choose when you're painting?" Changbin questions before taking a sip of his well-needed Iced Americano.

"Well, when I was a kid, my mom would explain colors to me. We would go out sometimes, and she would point at things and explain what colors mean," Felix hurriedly digs into his bag, pulling out his watercolor pallette and points at a dish of paint. Even though each dish was labeled with the color name for Felix's sake, he was sure Changbin could see each shade. And he did, immediately awing at the colors in the palette, Felix smiling at him before pointing at the first one. "Look, red: passionate, angry, bold." Then points to another labeled dish somewhere in the middle. "Green: life, energy, safety, harmony."

"Wow, that's pretty cool," The older hums, Felix nodding with a sheepish smile, the warm feeling stomping all over his cheeks. Though he welcomed it. It helped him forget about the cold weather. "You're basically painting with your emotions."

"Well, pretty much," the freckled Australian shrugs, carefully returning his watercolors into his bag, sighing and leaning against the table. "But still... It's difficult to paint without seeing color. I still try to make the best out of it, though."

The shorter nods, eyes lowering to Felix's small hands on the table. He takes another sip of his coffee. And Felix feared that it might become awkward from here. That they've just exhausted all of their conversation material. And Felix, being the shy individual he was. frantically tried to scour over potential conversation topics.

Was the weather nice today? Did Changbin prefer dogs or cats? If he were to choose a color, what'd be his favorite? Oh, God — Felix never had a hard time coming up with conversation topics, but _goddamn,_ his brain was already fried first thing in the damn morning!

And before Felix could embarrass himself (and potentially make the conversation much more awkward) with small talk, Changbin perks up, eyes wide and staring at the freckled Australian.

"Hey, are you free today?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UHBSBHUINJDGUH I'M SO SORRY FOR FORGETTING TO UPDATE Y'ALL
> 
> I was just so busy with homework and classes that I forgot to ask Editor toastt to edit this chapter and-
> 
> Hope y'all understand :V 
> 
> Anyway, hope y'all enjoyed this chapter, I'm almost done with writing the ENTIRE book, I only have nine chapters left before it's just a matter of editing and publishing lmao. 
> 
> Anyway, shit's about to go down near the end, that's all I'm saying :V There's just gon be drama bc I need more conflict in this book, it's just too peaceful LMAO
> 
> (Even though I specifically wrote this book because I needed a break from dramatic stories lmao)
> 
> But who do yall think is gon die??? :DD
> 
> Jk, y'all. I'm not a monster 🥰🥰🥰
> 
> For the most part lmao
> 
> -Ly <3


	10. | Cadmium Orange |

Holy _fuck-_ where did Changbin ever get so much class??

He felt like melting when he asked Felix if he was free earlier, almost exploding when he offered to take Felix out. And to think that having breakfast together was enough! He tried to be a little more selfish and take him out — _somewhere,_ too! And Changbin felt so cool for having the conversation come out so _casually_.

But was this a date? Changbin knew their breakfast wasn’t a date. That was a mere morning get-together.

This — _this_ was something else, right? Was it even considered a date? Changbin asked if he was free... Offered to take Felix somewhere. And Felix _accepted._

Neither of them spoke up about it being a _date_. And even Jeongin and Minho (who were intently watching from the counter, those fucks) didn’t tease or bring up the fact that Felix left with Changbin and entered the older’s car.

Obviously, the two were curious about this freckled individual that Changbin brought along. Changbin too! They weren’t _that_ special.

He was so curious as to why he felt so attracted to Felix. How each smile and each glance sent him flushing. Or how each bright look that passed the younger’s features when he talked about his passion for art. Or how he chewed his straw when he drank his coffee — how, despite his incredibly deep voice and incredibly handsome looks, he was actually very bubbly and — _okay,_ Changbin needed to focus on the road before he got into a car crash.

Honestly, he didn’t even know where he wanted to take Felix. Fumbled words fell from his mouth, nervous looks toward the Australian, and he _somehow_ agreed. So one thing led to another, and Changbin furiously thought of any location that came to mind.

The beach? No, that’d be so basic.

A walk through the mountain? That’s kind of creepy for their first _official_ meeting together. And honestly, way too far for Changbin to drive to with Felix comfortably.

Namsan Tower? _Oh, hell no!_ They’ve only _just_ met!

As a last-minute decision, Changbin took Felix to Itaewon.

He actually enjoyed the car ride with Felix. The younger excitedly asked if he could put on music and who was Changbin to deny such a request from this man? And it only became better from there because the younger actually started singing along to the song, prompting Changbin to sing along as well.

It seemed as if they clicked instantaneously with only a little build-up, much to the older's relief.

Though he knew he couldn’t escape the inevitable — _neither_ Felix nor Changbin could escape the inevitable.

While walking around the streets, going around shops, getting to know each other — just having a wonderful time, Felix’s phone rang, a call from his aforementioned best friend. And when they sat around a small bakery to escape the cold (and so Felix could take the call peacefully), Changbin also received a similar call. Though his, was a call from hell.

“Hyung, where are you?” Changbin heard Seungmin on the other side of the phone, the scarring sounds of the office behind him. “Are you asleep again? I swear to _God_ — _“_

“Seungmin, I’m sick,” Changbin rasps out, even sneaking in a cough for added effect. “I won’t be able to go to work—”

A microwave in the background goes off, a worker calls out an order and — Changbin sighs at the long silence that passed between the two.

“Hyung...”

“I’m watching a drama.”

“Hyung, you’re not really sick, are you?”

And _this_ was a million won question. Should he continue to lie and _try_ to convince Seungmin? Or should he give up and indulge the younger? Either way, Seungmin called him to go to work, so either Changbin lies or tells the truth, the younger would still nag him about his reasons for not going to work (as Changbin never skips out on working, especially with his previously pristine record).

However, Seungmin didn’t let him talk, Changbin letting out a choked noise on his end when he just got found out. He could never lie properly, anyway.

“Your Snap map says you’re in—”

“Okay! Okay! I’m not home. I’m not actually sick. But _please_ — Seungmin, _please_ just do this favor for me once. Don’t tell anyone. Tell them I’m sick, especially Ms. Park.”

And if Changbin couldn’t lie, Seungmin sure as hell could. He was a con artist. Surely, this one favor wouldn’t affect Changbin as much as he thinks it would.

“You’re on that date with the guy you were on a call with last night, aren’t you??”

Changbin froze, wide eyes glancing at Felix who was still on his own phone call, smiling and laughing and not really paying much attention to the older, a slice of pecan pie sitting between them.

“Seungmin, listen,” The older turns in his chair, his voice lowering to a hushed, frantic whisper. “Felix and I aren’t soulmates. This isn’t a date. He can’t even see color—”

“Ah, his name is Felix, huh?” Changbin could already hear the younger's smile, sighing and rubbing his face in frustration. And if Jeongin and Minho weren’t enough, Seungmin is _also_ jumping onto his back. He could only _imagine_ the chaos once Seungmin meets Felix, prompting Changbin to keep the younger away from the freckled Australian at _all_ costs.

“ _Seungmin_ —” Changbin threatens in a harsh whisper, mumbling a curse under his breath that even he couldn’t hear.

“Okay! Okay! Don’t sweat it, hyung. I’ll do this for you. Just this once,” the younger hums, Changbin sighing in relief. Or as much relief as he could feel while talking to his friend. He swears he’ll die because of stress and high blood pressure by the time he was thirty. “But buy me some of those chips while you’re out. I’ve been craving some since you brought it to work last week.”

“Yes, yes — I’ll buy you ten if I have to. I have to go, okay? Thanks, Minnie.” Changbin hangs up before Seungmin could bark an insult at him through the call, turning back to Felix with a sheepish smile and a bow. The younger was off his call as well, humming and taking a bite of the pecan pie he bought. “Sorry about that, my friend wanted to know where I was.”

“Small world — mine too,” Felix laughs, light, airy — _heaven_. His eyes widen when he chews at his dessert, pushing the plate toward Changbin with a large smile and a dramatic whine. “Hey! Take a bite of this! It’s amazing!” 

**\---**

After Itaewon, Changbin wanted to take Felix to _one_ last location before he accompanied the freckled Australian back home. He knew they shouldn’t spend their time out so late, especially after just knowing each other in less than 24 hours. But Felix wasn’t complaining — neither was Changbin. Besides, what’s an hour or two after sunset going to do? Surely, this _might_ be the only time Changbin’s ever allowed to do this with Felix, and he’ll damn well make the most out of it.

“Cheonggyecheon?” Felix questions, Changbin turning to him with raised eyebrows, eyes wide. The taller seems to notice his embarrassment, shaking his head with sheepish and frantic gestures. “Oh! I’ve never been here before, but my friend really wanted to take me so...”

“Sorry, about that — I- I didn’t—”

“It’s okay! Really,” Felix clears his throat, his breath coming out in visible puffs as he shoves his hands in his pockets, staring out at the festive decorations in the water as they continued walking by the stream. “It just means that I can sightsee more.”

Changbin smiles at that, despite the icy weather biting his pink cheeks, shivering and nodding. After a bustling, crazy day at Itaewon, walking by Cheonggyecheon seemed like the best option for them both. Changbin always thought that Seoul shined best at night. Of course, daytime allows for many more activities and sights, but nighttime at Seoul is as energetic as the day. The twinkling lights, the beautiful sights only sunset and later could provide. And at the same time, the peacefulness all of it brought. Changbin would never say it aloud, but Cheonggyecheon was a romantic place — _not_ that he went because he was with Felix!

He just thought Felix didn’t want to miss a sight such as this. And who knows, the freckled Australian might end up wanting to spend more time with the older. Not that Changbin was hoping for anything.

Deciding that the cold was too much for the Australian, they take a seat at one of the tables by the street, one by the railing that overlooked the river. Changbin understood and didn’t take any offense at all. To a degree, he understood the implications of traveling to a much colder country after living for years in a much hotter one.

So he leaves Felix at the table while he runs off to get them hot chocolate. And returns to find the younger painting. He didn’t even acknowledge the older’s return, didn’t even look up at the cup of hot chocolate on the table — too absorbed in painting the stream, the people, and the sparkling lights that tied it all together.

Taking sips of his hot beverage, Changbin watches Felix paint, which was oddly therapeutic. He’s never watched or seen anyone paint before. He knew it took lots of patience (and any sort of interest in art) which Changbin never had. Honestly, before he met Felix, he never even looked at art. Of course, there were the everyday Webtoon ads or the occasional hand-drawn product. But to watch and be invested into how the brush swipes across the paper or how the colors blend and greet each other, how each abstract shape eventually becomes a defined picture the more Felix worked — Changbin’s just never been invested in visual art.

He’s always been a writer. Born and raised as one. There wasn’t a thing in the world he couldn’t describe with his words. Anything he’s ever seen, anything he’s ever heard, anything he’s ever smelled, he could write down in the form of words. Anything. But Felix, he guessed.

Changbin knew that today, he’s done nothing but drag himself in front of the younger. Everything had been going by so fast that, looking back at it, he wondered how they ended up here in Cheonggyecheon. His mind practically blocked everything out except for the freckled Australian and his watercolors. He’d become a bumbling mess in front of the Australian when he’d otherwise be bursting with words — an old racecar reducing into a sputtering piece of junk and in need of an oil change.

This small, momentary revelation made Changbin think: _Was_ Felix his soulmate? First of all, they bumped into each other, and _right_ after, Changbin saw his first seconds of color (although this point is also shot down by the fact that Felix _can’t_ see color). Second, they just fit so well. It’s been a day, and it feels like they’re already known each other for months. There was never a tense, awkward silence. There wasn’t a last moment change of topics. And whatever antic one of them would get into, the other would seamlessly join. Honestly, why _can’t_ they be soulmates? If anything, fate should be prying them apart!

But they _can’t_ be soulmates, could they? Everything just seems so perfect — something that Changbin would have read in some manuscript he’s read late at night while editing. Something that he must’ve dreamt up for it to happen. _Maybe_ that’s why every decision he makes is stupid, but still miraculously works. There were practically no consequences whenever he talked to Felix (which was pretty suspicious in his defense) and despite the younger showing a _few_ disagreements in their first few exchanges, he would always get right back into their conversation.

Almost as if all of this was just a figment of his imagination.

“Felix,” Changbin hums, the said man nodding to show he was listening. The older momentarily gets lost into the colors and brush strokes Felix placed on the paper. For someone who still couldn’t see color, the shades and hues were pretty accurate. The overall picture used cool colors, with pinks and slightly warmer colors where the people walked. He painted the lights as yellow, and much warmer than everything else, despite the actual colors of the lights being filled with blues, greens, and reds.

“Yes...?”

Felix glances up, noticing Changbin’s wide eyes and furrowed eyebrows, a small laugh drifting off of his lips.

“Ah- sorry, sorry,” Changbin sits up, clearing his throat. Felix cracks his neck, thanking the sb\horter as he takes a sip of his hot chocolate. “Don’t you think...” The older scratches his head, leaning an elbow on the table and making obscure gestures with his free hand. He’s an idiot, he knows. But talking to Felix made him an idiot. And besides, this just _had_ to be a dream. Felix was too perfect to — _actually,_ Changbin isn’t even going to finish that train of thought. “Wouldn’t it be crazy if you and I were _actually_ soulmates?”

Felix’s burns his tongue on the hot chocolate.

“Aish! I- I- _Seo Changbin_ — _“_ Changbin was stupid. Yes, he was stupid to think this was a dream. He glossed over the fact that perfect people _do_ exist in the world. “We can’t be soulmates. I- I mean — you’re a pretty cool guy, and I don’t mind seeing you more often, but... We just aren’t... We aren’t soulmates. I know it’s a harsh slap to the face, but I _can’t_ see color.”

“I bumped into _you_ and _then_ saw color? Don’t you think that’s — _I don’t know,_ suspicious?”

“That _is_ suspicious, but think about this for a second. We were in a crowded market,” Felix sighs, dropping his paintbrush into a small container of water, furrowing his eyebrows as he stared at Changbin. “I could’ve bumped into you and you bumped into someone else. Don’t you think about that?”

And just like that, Changbin shut up. He knew he would melt into an incoherent mess in front of Felix. And he knew that with one word from the freckled Australian, Changbin’s vast vocabulary would be thrown out the window and set on _fire._

“Anyway,” Felix clears his throat, shaking his head. The smile that spreads across his face calmed Changbin a little bit — this was probably the biggest mess he’s ever created. The dumbest idea he’s ever had to give him enough embarrassment to last a lifetime. Enough so that he might change his name, color his hair again, and move into another city — no, another continent. He holds up the dried watercolor picture — a personal photograph modified with Felix’s emotions and paint. “I’m done. Do you like it?”

That wasn’t up for discussion. Of course, Changbin liked it. There was nothing about Felix the older _didn’t_ like. 


	11. | Charcoal Gray |

"Get anything you want, I'm paying."

In contrast to Changbin, Chan was everything Felix wanted. He was caring; he thought before he spoke (and not just a human form of someone throwing dictionaries into a tornado); he was handsome (he's not saying that Changbin wasn't handsome. Felix just had preferences); he knew Felix like the back of his hand — the younger never having to speak up for the other to know what was wrong.

And _maybe_ that's because they had years of history to back up their close relationship, but even back in Australia, when they first met, Felix always adored the older.

The only things that connected Chan and Changbin were their heights and their stupidity.

He loves Chan. Felix knows how much he loves Chan. They've been together since Middle school, and even when Chan moved to Korea, he convinced his parents to let him live with Felix (years later, he told Felix that he convinced his parents using his reasoning of 'Because it's Lee Felix'). They were almost like two peas in a pod, cut from the same cloth, yin, and yang, sun and moon — they were just as close as could be.

But one thing separated him from Changbin. Where was that attraction? Don't get Felix wrong, he loves the older and will continue to love him for the rest of his days. But he _just_ couldn't see their relationship progress further than friends. Whereas Changbin... that was a different story. A completely different story, in another book, written in another language, with ten million pages of endless words that Felix couldn't possibly read all.

"What's wrong?" Chan questions as he chews on his food, placing some japchae on the other's empty plate with a soft sigh. He switches to English, knowing that Felix would be much more comfortable if fewer people knew about his problems. "Something eating at your mind?"

Felix huffs, almost pouting as he pushes the noodles from one side of his plate to the other using his chopsticks. He was glad Chan was fine and well — recovered enough that he could walk without getting dizzy (though the congestion was still apparent in his voice). He was more than happy to accompany the other to eat at a traditional Korean restaurant — to _finally_ go through with their ritualistic promise of eating at an amazing restaurant in whatever country they go to. But damn Changbin! He's practically ruined Felix's week, now that he thinks about it.

"We don't have to go out today if—"

"No! No!" Felix perks up, eyes wide. Chan arches an eyebrow, cheeks still stuffed with the eel he ordered (he wanted to share it with Felix, but the freckled Australian hasn't even touched any of the plates). The younger sighs, settling his chopsticks beside his plate. "I _want_ go out today but—"

Chan nods, clearing his throat as he finishes chewing his food. He lowers his chopsticks, leaning on his elbows and toward the younger. And there goes Chan, always listening whenever needed. He always wiped his shoulder clean in case Felix needed it, always kept his ears open for anything that bothered Felix. And he didn't judge the younger for anything. Besides painting, Felix thought that maybe Chan might be his own definition of home.

"Can you ever... meet your soulmate — like you touch them, but they can see color, and you can't?"

It took a second for the older to reply. And Felix knew he sounded stupid. Meeting soulmates were _all_ about the color! They were all about the feelings and the overwhelming warmth from those colors they see after their initial contact.

"That's a weird question," Chan huffs out a laugh, licking his lips and glancing up. "Uh... Let me think."

There was no need for Chan to think. Felix basically asked a question that contradicted the very _meaning_ of being soulmates. Chan was merely thinking of the nicest way of calling Felix an idiot. 

"Uhm — maybe? I don't know. I've never heard of anything like that. Why?" Chan furrows his eyebrows, lips turning into a downward frown that Felix almost laughs at. Why... _Why_ — Why _is_ Felix asking, anyway? Just because Changbin asked, doesn't mean he should too. He's already turned down Changbin's advances twice, and he'll do it again in the future (if he ever meets the man again, anyway). Just because Changbin is so damn cute — just because everything he did was so stupid and so damn dorky! Just because he was a bundle of unbridled energy doesn't mean that Felix was entitled to ask. Everyone knew that whatever Changbin was thinking was practically impossible. Right?

"Remember the guy I went out with the other day?" Felix sighs, placing his cheek against his palm with a frown. He knew he was being dramatic, but he couldn't help it. Not when the serious question of soulmates was at hand. "He asked me the same thing, so I got curious."

"Huh??" Chan questions, jutting his head forward in case he heard right.

"He thought he we were soulmates."

Chan blinks once — twice — four times. A heavy silence fell between the two, long enough that the freckled Australian thought that Chan might judge him. Or at least letting the words pass through his ear and process in his brain twice-over, just in case there was some discrepancy.

"Well... Was he serious?" He frowns, eyeing the younger.

"He seemed serious," the latter shrugs, Chan perking up and leaning back with a scoff and a roll of his eyes.

"Yo, you guys _literally_ met," Chan points out, making sharp gestures with his hand. His accent seemed so prominent as grimaced — he and Felix had been using Hangguk-eo to communicate for months to ready the latter for their trip to Korea that Felix almost forgot that the man was Australian sometimes. "And he — what?? Bumped into you and thought you guys were soulmates? You've already turned him down, right? I presume. So, why can't he see that — seriously!"

Felix laughed lightly at Chan's brief outburst, frantically switching back and forth between Hangguk-eo and English that the freckled Australian had a hard time switching mindsets.

"He- He—" Chan sits up properly, angrily grabbing his chopsticks and placing eel onto Felix's _still_ untouched plate. He quickly returns to Hangguk-eo, huffing and scoffing. "I knew I had a reason to be so suspicious. He's so damn creepy. Yah! don't go bumping into any more random guys, you hear me?"

And there goes Chan, always the protective blanket that wrapped itself around Felix. He knew that the younger could protect himself, and he was old enough to make his own decision. But then again — _foreign_ country with _foreign_ people. There's bound to be a creepy stranger or two. Hell, even back in Australia — creepy stranger or two.

But Felix laughs it off. Even if his question was left unanswered, wafting in the air, at least Chan brightened his mood (and overall week). He always has, and Felix doesn't see it changing anytime soon.

"Go eat, I don't want you to like — pass out or something..." Chan grumbles to himself, Felix trying to suppress a smile as he picks up his chopsticks, eating the eel that the older graciously got for him.

"I know what would cheer you up," Chan leans on his elbows, humming and pointing his chopsticks at the younger. "Namsan."

Seriously, Chan just cared for him too much.


	12. | Manganese Blue |

If Changbin could pinpoint the moment his life fell apart, he’d choose the moment he woke up late for work. No, it wasn’t when Seungmin asked him to get lunch for author Park, or when he accidentally gave him chocolates instead, and _definitely_ not when he bumped into Felix.

See, if he stayed home that day and didn’t give a rat’s ass about his reputation, none of it would’ve happened.

But then again, he was semi-glad it happened.

If Changbin _stayed_ home that day, he would’ve never met Felix, never gone through the overwhelming embarrassment, never see color for — only God knows how much longer. He would’ve never gone on that _“date”_ with Felix — would’ve never offended him. He never would’ve had a small bud of interest growing in visual art.

But he wished it never happened. Maybe then, Seungmin wouldn’t be all over his back about Felix. Changbin had _tried_ to hide the freckled Australian from Seungmin, but... his stupidity let the name slip!

“Hyung, get the damn stick out of your ass and help me! Ms. Park won’t be happy if she finds out we never finished today.” Changbin immediately shot up at the threat of their supervisor’s foreshadowed anger.

“Ugh, I’m still sick, Seungmin, give me a break,” Changbin groans, returning to press his cheek against the cool desk, sighing and eyeing the stack of paperwork they had to organize into folders and boxes. He reaches over to grab a lollipop from the younger’s desk, though, yelping when Seungmin slaps his hand away with a threatening deadpan.

“Yah. Stop eating my stress relief candy. Those are only for emergencies, you know. I keep needing to refill it because you keep stealing from me."

“But what if I’m stressed too?” Changbin pouts, the taller scoffing and gagging.

“Then get your own stress reliever.”

Changbin mutters a curse under his breath, turning away and grabbing the first stack of paper off his cluttered desk. When the older said nothing — no snarky remark or disgusting pout, Seungmin leans over with a sigh, fixing his glasses and furrowing his eyebrows at his friend.

“Hyung, I’ve lived for twenty-one years without a soulmate. You’ll live. Really. It gets better after a while.”

Changbin peeks past the paper, arching an eyebrow at Seungmin. He knew he gave the latter a lot of crap, and Changbin likes to think that was his way of showing his love (since he was never that well spoken when the time needs sappy comments). This made the younger snappy in retaliation, which Changbin didn’t mind. Not at all. It was just their way of showing that they were comfortable around each other.

But he always relied on Seungmin when there was something on his mind. Yeah, the younger was as bad — if not _worse_ than Changbin when it came to speaking up about feelings. But when he does, it always took a tremendous weight off of the older’s shoulders. With Seungmin, he knew that there was someone at his side at all times.

Without another word, Seungmin reaches into his glass case of lollipops, sliding one across to Changbin’s desk. Albeit it was a flavor he liked least, Changbin still smiled and returned to his work.

Changbin didn’t understand _why_ he’s so bummed out after each meeting with Felix. He’s so damn giggly during and before. But once that high wears off, he’ll enter this depressing withdrawal. Was it because of the sudden realization slapping his face? The realization that Felix could never be his soulmate (even if he was perfect in every way possible). Or was it the guilt of indulging his selfishness and childish behavior?

Even so, that shouldn’t be an excuse that interrupts his work life. Work-life and his (confusing) _“love”_ life should be _strictly_ separated. He shouldn’t let some mere freckled face influence his life! No, Seungmin was right! He’ll be fine! And if Seungmin isn’t affected (for the most part) then Changbin shouldn’t let his affect him either!

“Attention everyone!” A voice resounded from the office space, every worker perking up and halting to glance at the chief editor standing from his desk. Mr. Kang Younghyun clears his throat, narrow eyes glossing over a printed sheet of paper. “An author just faxed us a discrepancy in her contract. Whoever was in charge of Ms. Kang Seulgi, please go to her and clear up any misunderstandings.” A pause before he glances up, eyes glazing over each bowed head. “ _Immediately!”_

Someone from the editing team scrambled to her feet, gathering all of her things and wrapping her coat around herself. She runs outside, heels frantically clacking against the smooth tiled floor as everyone clears their throats and returns to what they had been doing previously. No one wanted to approach Mr. Kang. His anger (even if concealed for the most part) scared everyone in the office. Changbin should know anyway, he was a frontline contender.

“Kim Seungmin! Seo Changbin!” The editor comes screeching back into the office, the two mentioned glancing up with wide eyes. “Please come with me! Hurry up!” 

**\---**

“Hyung, it’s like — right there. Ms. Park won’t question anything because we accompanied Ms. Yoo to Namsan.”

Is what Kim Seungmin said to Changbin in an attempt to sway him. Changbin first disagreed. He reasoned with Seungmin that they still had the stacks of paperwork they had to organize — and they _did._ But the younger only waved it off, saying they could always return later or finish it tomorrow (even though he had been all over Changbin’s back about it earlier).

Changbin said that it was cold, and there would be too many people — especially since the holidays were this month. Seungmin only said that he’ll pay for it, so Changbin didn’t need to worry about any of this shit and to just accompany him to Namsan Tower. He wanted to take pictures.

Why? Changbin didn’t know. He knew that Kim Seungmin was a sucker for a romantic spot, despite being a heartless bitch himself. He acted like he didn’t care about soulmates since it’s past his time. But whenever Changbin was with him, all he ever talked about was icky romance and soulmates.

He called himself a romantic, Changbin called him an idiot.

But he wondered why he let the younger sway him so easily as they entered the cable car. He wondered why he even had a hidden excitement to accompany him to Namsan while they rode it to the top. He guessed he did it for Seungmin. And Seungmin was Kim Seungmin, so even if Changbin declined, there was no way the younger _wouldn’t_ drag him to the top if needed.

Besides, Changbin would be lying if he said he didn’t appreciate the view.

“Hyung, look.” Changbin yelped when the younger jabbed his ribs a little too hard, whipping his head toward the puppy-eyed man with a glare. Seungmin only ignored his dramatic agony, gesturing to something further away. From where they stood, Changbin couldn’t see anything. Especially when there were people surrounding them. He had no idea what the fuck Seungmin was looking at, so he indulged the younger by nodding and returning to the view of the city below.

“Hyung,” Seungmin sighs, yanking Changbin away from the crowd (and the pleasing view) to a more isolated area, gesturing to a pair sitting ways away on a nearby bench. “Isn’t that your soulmate?”

Narrowing his eyes, he — _was_ that his soulmate? They were too far to notice his face, staring down on something on his lap. And—

“Hyung, the undercut? The freckles?” Seungmin questions, rolling his eyes. Geez, Changbin really needs to get his eyesight checked. Maybe seeing color worsened his vision. They took a step or two closer, and he felt a tang of jealousy nip at his skin.

The curly-haired, black-haired man sitting next to (who possibly could be) Felix, placing his head on the freckled man’s shoulder. They seemed like close enough friends (or maybe more) so Felix didn’t mind at all when the older sighed into his neck and shut his eyes.

Is Changbin jealous? He’ll be honest with himself just this once and say yes. But then again, why the hell was he getting jealous for? Someone should only get jealous when looking or thinking about something they want and — they weren’t soulmates... But he still felt enough of a connection toward the younger that he wondered who the guy was and why was Felix so close to him. At least sit ten centimeters apart!

“You wanna go over there?” Seungmin nudges the older, smiling wide and arms crossed.

“No- no- _no!_ “ Changbin hisses, shooting a glare toward the younger. He felt jealousy as he stared at the two, yes. But he wasn’t _that_ shameless. “They’re busy and _clearly,_ we don’t need to interrupt anything they’re doing.”

“Aw, that’s cute you’re — Ah!’ Seungmin shrieks when the older pinches his arm, jumping back and rubbing the spot dramatic. With gritted teeth, he raises a fist in retaliation, playfully punching Changbin’s arm. Though grabbing Changbin’s wrist, he drags the older toward the pair. And the latter couldn’t help but go along. Don’t get him wrong, he only _let_ himself get dragged — Seungmin didn’t _actually_ drag him over. “Let’s just say hi. Plus, I wanna apologize for whatever you told him.”

And this small statement yanked Changbin back to reality. They couldn’t just walk over, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, when the two were enjoying their time alone! Hadn’t Seungmin ever heard of privacy? Well, of course, he didn’t. He’s _Kim Seungmin_.

Besides, Changbin had moved on! They weren’t soulmates, _period_. There was no need for further embarrassment from both parties.

“Yah! Yah!” Changbin whispers frantically, trying to pull his wrist away from the younger’s iron grip. Seungmin turns around, grabbing the older by his coat before he could make an escape.

“Hyung, you don’t have to say anything! We’re meeting him as _friends,_ not soulmates!” Seungmin hisses, Changbin grabbing his arm and scowling at the taller.

“I don’t care! I shouldn’t have come with you here if you’re only—”

“Changbin hyung! It’s nice to see you here!”

Oh, God. Oh _God,_ no.

Having been caught between their frantic physical dispute, Changbin and Seungmin immediately separate themselves from each other, eyes wide and shoulders tense as they slowly turned their bodies toward the voice.

From the bench, a familiar freckled Australian smiled and waved over to Changbin, beckoning him to come over. His doe eyes brightened, his narrow, cold-nipped, freckled cheeks rounded into a smile, his small hands halting their dance across his sketchbook.

The man beside him lifted his head off of Felix’s shoulder, turning with a frown and furrowed eyebrows.

“Good job, asshole,” Changbin clears his throat toward Seungmin as the two waddled toward the bright, freckled Australian. Changbin almost melted into a puddle as they stood in front of them, Felix’s smile too warm for the weather that the older thought he might need to take his coat off.

“It’s nice to see you here. I don’t think I would ever see you in Namsan,” Felix giggles, Changbin smiling and nodding and — just lost in the freckled Australian’s chocolate eyes. So lost that Seungmin jabbed his side and pulled him back to the surface before he drowned.

“Oh, uh — me too,” Changbin lets out a strained laugh, clutching his padded jacket’s sleeve. “We just keep running into each other everywhere, don’t we?”

“Who are you?” The man beside Felix questions, the two (momentarily stuck in their own world) both glancing toward him.

“Huh?” Changbin questions, eyebrows shooting up though only earning him a quiet scoff from the dark-haired man. He linked his arm with Felix’s (sitting very close), eyebrows arched as his eyes subtly glared at Changbin.

“Oh! Chan, this is Changbin. The guy I was talking to you about.”

Giving Changbin a once over, Chan grudgingly separates himself from Felix to shake the shorter’s hand, turning to Seungmin who perked up and squeaked out a smile. 

“Oh, my name is Kim Seungmin. I’m Changbin hyung’s friend,” he brightens, showing off his irresistible charm. Changbin got bad vibes from Chan, but he wished that the other wouldn’t fall for Seungmin’s charms. Changbin did and look where _that_ got him.

“Well, we were going to leave soon. I was wondering if you’d like to join me and Chan,” Felix suggests, Chan immediately perking up and whipping his head toward the freckled Australian. With wide eyes, the other Australian frantically communicated with the younger through their eyes, muttering something though his teeth that Changbin couldn’t quite catch.

Felix seemed to get the message, clearing his throat and glancing back up at Seungmin and Changbin.

“Well, I thought that since me and Changbin hyung already know each other, he could...”

“Ah, no, Felix,” Changbin waves off the furrowed eyebrows and the subtle pleading look Felix had on the older. “I don’t think—”

“Oh! We’d be honored!” Seungmin exclaims, grabbing Changbin’s arm as he almost lunges toward the two Australians.

No. No. No- no- no- _no_.

“And since we’re just about done with work, we could accompany you, no problem!”

Changbin loved Seungmin. He really did. And he knew the younger had enough of a brain to figure out when to keep his mouth shut. But Changbin also knew that this was all part of his plan. What plan? Changbin didn’t know. No one knew what went on in _Kim Seungmin’s_ head.

And even when Changbin whipped his head toward the younger in a last-ditch attempt to — yeah, no. Seungmin completely ignored him.

“Actually, how about we pay? It’ll be our treat for meeting new friends.”


	13. | Pewter |

“I thought you didn’t like him?”

Felix stares wide-eyed as he noticed the familiar curly-haired Australian through the mirror, knitting his brows together at the question. The older walked further into the bathroom, standing behind Felix as the freckled man dried his hands.

“Well—There’s really no reason for me to _not_ like him.” It’s not that he _didn’t_ like Changbin. The older was just... too outgoing sometimes that it might turn off some people. Besides, Changbin was a good man. He was nice, friendly. A little impulsive, but then again, who wasn’t? Of course, Chan _might_ not take a liking to Changbin immediately, especially after all the things Felix told him about the sharp-chinned man. However, he was sure that, with time and maybe two servings of brisket, the two might end up as acquaintances. Friends, even!

Though, when Chan didn’t answer, Felix wondered if he had said the wrong thing—nothing but folk songs playing in the speakers embedded into the ceilings between them, a deep frown on the older’s lips.

For a moment, Felix thought that it was a little rude to leave Seungmin and Changbin alone when they were the ones paying. But if Chan thought to chase after Felix instead of following the customs of hospitality, then the latter was more than willing to hear him out. Though it _was_ kind of rude to gossip about their potential friends in the bathroom—at least, that’s what Felix thought Chan came here for.

“You said he was creepy.”

“I never said that.”

“Well—“ Chan sighs, leaning away, scratching his head in frustration. “It was implied.”

“Sorry that I worried you, hyung, but he’s not that bad,” Felix smiles, the older arching an eyebrow. “And I’m not just saying that because he’s paying for our food.”

“Then why are you saying it?” Before Felix could even answer ( _if_ he could even provide one, he didn’t know himself), Chan holds up a hand, shaking his head with a quiet huff and a gesture to the door. “Nevermind. I’ll- I’ll go back to the table. Don’t keep us waiting,” The older Australian mumbles, eyes avoiding Felix’s before exiting the bathroom. The latter didn’t let him go so easily, quickly following the older outside and to their table. He wanted to ask what was wrong with Chan. There _was_ something wrong, wasn’t there? However, before he could even call for the older, Chan was already at their table. Seungmin and Changbin waiting patiently for the two Australians to return to their seats.

Felix had never seen that before. Bang Chan, the cool-headed friend. The one who always thought before he spoke. The rational mind between the duo—he had always been welcoming to strangers. Even Jisung, who Felix unknowingly met online, Chan took a warm welcome to him. Was he tired? Was it _just_ one of those days?

Maybe Felix was just overthinking this, letting the worries about his friend overtake his senses. They’ve known each other for years, but sometimes, they still had those days where they couldn’t understand each other. It was just a normal part of every relationship, where the other wanted some time alone or wanted to speak their mind without consequence. Even so, Felix still wanted to understand _why_ Chan was so against Changbin and Seungmin joining them when he’d otherwise be friendly to new faces.

And Changbin! Even though the momentary run-in in Namsan gave Felix some slight, unknown happiness, the more he thought of it, the more he wondered why the hell he even invited Changbin to eat with them. They’ve only just met, only hung out once. And the man is already head-over-heels over Felix, _even though_ he already belonged to someone else! He was crazy, maybe a little serial-killer esque—God, did Felix just allow a murderer into his life?

And not to mention that the shorter was the cause for Felix’s recent, never-experienced-before dilemmas. This man was just tearing his once happy and peaceful world apart, wasn’t he?! Changbin was the ugly green witch of the West to Felix’s beautiful Oz.

“The meat arrived while you guys were in the restroom,” Seungmin clears his throat, turning the brisket that sizzled on the grill, seasoning it with salt. Felix thanked Chan as the older passed him a pair of unwrapped chopsticks, reaching over to grab the small plate of jjoljjolyi beside the puppy-eyed man. “I was wondering—how did you and Changbin hyung meet?”

“Oh, uh—officially?” Felix huffs out a laugh, scratching his neck. “I ran into him in the grocery store. Chan hyung’s dad needed noodles with green packaging. But the thing is, he didn’t write the name and I still can’t see color so—luckily Changbin hyung was there to help.”

“Ah, you still can’t see color,” Seungmin nods, eyes brimming with curiosity as he places some cooked meat onto Felix’s plate, the older bowing in thanks. Though glancing to the side, he notices Chan scoffing under his breath before eating the jjoljjolyi, the freckled Australian instead placing the meat on his plate as—wait—what was he apologizing for, anyway? Felix shouldn’t apologize when, clearly, this was Chan’s problem and his problem alone. “What about unofficially?”

“Ah, we crashed into each other in a market, got our bags mixed up and my friend dragged me away before I could even see if he was okay.”

“Oh!” Seungmin perks up, head whipping toward Changbin who tried to hide behind his can of beer. “Is that where the chocolates came from?? You know our senior got so angry at Changbin for bringing an author chocolate instead of lunch.”

Felix let out a bright giggle at that, Changbin staring at the freckled Australian as Seungmin nudged him with a thin smile.

“Why were you guys in Namsan, anyway?” Chan clears his throat, helping Seungmin grill the meat. His eyes flicker up at Changbin, who continues sipping his beer. The shorter retaliated with—not really a glare, but a shallow, narrow stare. Felix rolled his eyes at the two. Gosh, why did he even suggest this? Was he just trying to be nice? Even so, no amount of kindness could tolerate the ridiculous behavior between those two.

“Ah, we were just accompanying our senior to meet up with an author. She said she would finish up on her own so we were basically free,” Seungmin waved off the tension. Felix took a liking to Kim Seungmin immediately. At least, he didn’t seem so awkward and weird—he was the one person who seemed normal out of the bunch. He didn’t let the tension or the lack of words bother him, and Felix appreciated that! He didn’t need to be the conversation instigator every waking moment. And besides, who could resist those big, bright eyes? “I suggested that we go home, but Changbin hyung wanted to go to Namsan Tower. He just loves the sights.”

Changbin lets out an audible scoff behind his glass of alcohol, Chan arching an eyebrow at him before the shorter clears his throat and bows slightly.

“Sorry, that just—“ He clears his throat. “Threw me off...”

“Anyway, being a painter without seeing color? That’s exciting!” Seungmin ignores the two, Felix nodding with a bright smile. The freckled Australian decided to focus more on Seungmin instead of the useless, questionable relationship between Chan and Changbin. At this point, they were hopeless. And yes, he knew it was still too early to say, but he understood a hopeless situation when he saw one. And _this_ was the epitome of tragedy. Besides, he came here for a good meal and delicious barbeque, so he’ll leave _with_ a good meal and delicious barbeque. Nothing less, nothing more.

“Yeah! Of—“ Though Felix’s previously bright features falter, tilting his head slightly with brows knit together. “How did you know I paint?” 

“Oh. Hyung wouldn’t stop talking about you ever since you guys met.” Seungmin gestures to Changbin with his chopsticks, Chan coughing and choking on his food. He hits at his chest, Felix handing him a glass of water with furrowed eyebrows as Changbin almost knocks over a glass of water. Placing grilled meat onto everyone’s plates with a bright smile (and ignoring the momentary turmoil he caused _all_ of them), Seungmin laughs; a devil in disguise. “Anyway, eat up. I’ve eaten here before, and it’s way too delicious to pass up.”

Nevermind. Felix guessed that everyone he just runs into is some sort of weird. Was he a magnet for the unusual? Maybe he should change his standards for the better. Maybe then, people like Han Jisung or Seo Changbin don’t run up to him. Now, thinking about it, Hyunjin _might_ be the closest to normal out of Felix’s friends. But, maybe like Seungmin, he was _another_ wolf in sheep’s clothing. So it was still too early to assume.

At this point, Felix might’ve developed trust issues because of Kim Seungmin.

The next moment or two was filled with an awkward silence (mostly between Chan and Changbin) that Felix wondered if they’ve ever met before. Either that or they’ve mysteriously been rivals in a past life. Either way, he just wanted to go home.

And _thank God_ there was alcohol. At least it made the whole... _unusual_ experience at least a little bearable.

“Hyung, why aren’t you talking to them? They’re the ones who invited us,” Seungmin turned to Changbin as they waited for a plate of pork belly, the older arching an eyebrow. “And besides, I thought you—“

Seungmin suppresses a yelp, screwing his eyes shut and whining. The puppy-eyed individual whips his head toward Changbin, gritting his teeth when the older only scratches at the side of his neck, smiling. Their relationship was practically the inverse of Felix and Chan’s relationship. There was the obvious friendship, that much was clear. But the way they expressed it—it was more toward beating each other up instead of hugs and kisses. Not that Felix judged! Just that, after seeing Changbin so forward with him, he thought the older would _also_ be the type of person who values skinship.

“Changbin, I heard you can see color,” Chan mutters beside Felix, narrowing his eyes as he flips and cuts the pork belly into strips. “You have a soulmate?”

“Oh, uh—I think so? I mean—if you could see color, you ultimately _have_ a soulmate, don’t you?” Changbin retaliates quietly, Seungmin sitting up.

“Hyung, everyone has a soulmate." He thanks Chan as the older places pork belly on his plate. “Me and Changbin hyung, we’re kind of alike. We both touched our soulmate, but we don’t know who the _hell_ it is.”

“Ah, you can see color, Seungmin?” Felix perks up, eyes wide, and a smile on his face, the younger nodding with a hum.

“I met my soulmate when I was a child. One thing led to another, and he disappeared. Forever.”

It was weird—Felix guessed that kids meeting their soulmates were as common as adults meeting theirs. Just that they were much more prone to lose them. Of course, people like Changbin could as easily lose a soulmate. But children—they didn’t know any better. Just like Hwang Hyunjin, they might think that seeing color was the norm for everyone. And—how old was Seungmin? Maybe around 20. Felix could only applaud how a man could stay sane for that long. Especially when there was less of a chance of finding your soulmate now than living through the planets aligning.

“He’s being stupid. They just walked by each other without noticing,” Changbin hums, the younger punching his arm.

“Oh, yeah?” Seungmin smiles, eyes wide. A smile spreads on his face, his puppy eyes challenging the smile of the devil. He turns to Felix and Chan, crossing his arms and leaning forward with elbows on the table. “You two are traveling around Korea, right? Why don’t you take Changbin hyung with you? He’s an attraction connoisseur.”

“Sure—“

“Absolutely not—“

The two Australians glance at each other, Felix furrowing his eyebrows with a frown.

“Why not?” the freckled man asks, Chan making obscure, frantic gestures as incoherent sputtering fall from his lips. He almost burns the pork belly if Seungmin hadn’t yelped and turned it over with his chopsticks.

“We have Jisung!”

“But hyung,” Felix frowns. “Jisung said he’ll be busy the next couple of days. I don’t think it’s smart for us to you know—wander around Korea alone. Unless you want to stay home until Jisung's available."

“But- but—“ Chan sputters, Changbin clearing his throat. He opens his mouth before the two simultaneously say:

_“I never agreed to this.“_


	14. | Cobalt Violet |

See, Changbin never agreed to this. Seungmin just _threw_ him under the damn bus. He told himself that he’d avoid Felix—for both of their sakes. He’d set aside his childish expectations and respect the younger’s privacy. But _now_ Seungmin got in between and Changbin sure as _hell_ know that he’s up to something— _nothing_ good.

And to make matters worse, he and Chan practically have an unspoken hostility between them? How? Why? _When??_ How the fuck was Changbin supposed to know?! That man just radiated bad vibes. One second, Changbin would admire the sunshine that Lee Felix was, before seeing the thundercloud that glared and sulked right behind him.

He can’t believe an Australian gremlin such as him could be best friends with Lee Felix—but then again, he shouldn’t be the one talking. He _was_ friends with Seungmin, after all.

But still! It was awkward enough going to Itaewon with Felix alone. But now, it's him, _plus_ an overprotective guard dog.

Fate kicked his ass for this one. Changbin might as well try to make the best of it. Besides, Lee Felix was with him. Hanging around Lee Felix was pleasant enough to block out the troll following them.

If only that said troll was lenient.

After requesting an off day (which Seungmin gratefully helped him convince their supervisor for), Changbin picked the two Australians up from their home. They lived surprisingly close to Changbin, about five kilometers away. However, despite it being cold as hell early in the morning, it didn’t stop Chan from opening the door, face already scrunched into a grimace. Changbin tried to look nice, he really did. Even smiled and bowed respectfully to the older. But it was hard to be nice when you’re met with disrespect, 25/8.

“Hey,” Changbin laughs awkwardly, waving half-heartedly. The dark-haired Australian deadpans, still blocking the entrance with a half-assed greeting. He shifts to his other foot, Changbin nodding, and—for a second he thought the Australian would let him in. Until Chan closed the door on him. Luckily, Felix saw him from behind Chan’s shoulder, calling out to him with a bright smile and a bow. Changbin heard Felix struggle with Chan behind the door, something thump against the wall before the older groans out in pain and Felix opened the door for Changbin with a smile.

And when Changbin walked by Chan (who presumably accidentally kicked the wall by the way he jumped on one foot) and into the warm comfort of their home, he couldn’t help the smug smile that spread on his face, eyes squinting into crescent moons and lips into a cheeky smile.

And that scoff—that simmering pettiness bubbling within the older Australian provided enough warmth for Changbin to _completely_ forget the cold. Call him cruel, but he was enjoying the older’s sulking a lot more than he should’ve.

“It’s good to see you! I’ll be quick, then we can go,” Felix says, bolting off to some recess of Chan’s house. Clearing his throat, Changbin wrings his fingers together, tilting back and forth between his heels and his toes, Chan standing in front of him with crossed arms.

This seemed oddly familiar. Was he a high schooler picking up his date for prom? Being left alone with a stone-cold father trying to test a socially awkward boy who he probably wouldn’t ever see after high school. But Chan was more than that. He didn’t seem like a hardened father just trying to look out for their kid.

He seemed like a stuck-up bitch, that’s what.

“Okay! I’m here! Sorry for taking so long!” Felix bounds to the two, wrapping a scarf around Chan’s neck and handing a coat to the older. Though, as he glanced at Changbin, he couldn’t help his heart break into a brisk jog around his ribcage. He’s calmed his incessant emotions, but he hated how his heart undermines his brain.

When Felix scolds Chan for not dressing up properly for the weather, the older nods—before glancing up with a smile directed to Changbin when Felix ran off to say goodbye to Chan’s parents. A mock? A smug threat? Whatever it was, Changbin shouldn’t be so affected!

Geez, this man was everything but charming. But he needed to withstand him. He was Felix’s friend—Seungmin took a liking to him, so why couldn’t Changbin? Obviously, there was a tense divide between the two, but Changbin needed to set aside their differences. If not for each other, then at least for Lee Felix. 

**\---**

“Wah- wah- wah!” Changbin immediately turns at Felix’s excited shouts, arching an eyebrow as the freckled Australian digs into his bag, pulling out his small pallette and sketchbook. “Right here! This looks really nice!”

“Lix—“ Chan smiles, the younger grimacing as he plants himself on a stone wall, legs dangling over the ground as he furiously flips to a new page.

“You can leave me, hyung. But I _won’t_ be missing this opportunity,” Felix huffs, Chan ruffling his hair as he sits close to the younger on the wall, far enough to keep from disturbing the freckled Australian. Changbin leaned on the wall beside Chan. Second-hand instinct told him to sit close to Felix, but he didn’t think Chan would even allow it. Besides, it was a beautiful day outside. He didn’t need their unforeseen rivalry to ruin their trip.

Maybe, if prompted enough, they could even become... _friends_...?

No- no- no. Changbin shouldn't think of forbidden thoughts.

While Felix painted a miniscule view of Bukchon Hanok Village, Chan continued to swipe through his phone, reading what seemed like an English book on the screen. They seemed so domestic like this. Well, it figured. From what Changbin learned, they live together; they travel together—hell, they might do everything together. It was clear to see that the two felt comfortable like this: Felix painting and Chan doing... whatever Chan was doing.

And despite going to the village to sight-see and such, the older never rushed Felix to take in everything. He seemed so used to the situation that he almost looked like he forgot that they were here to take in the magnificent sights.

Not that Changbin was complaining! He was all for Felix’s artistic endeavors, and being with the two was a hell of a lot better than being stuck inside the office with the devil across him and Chief Editor Kang on his six. And honestly, he liked the peace. It was a type of harmony that Changbin couldn’t find anywhere else, and that intrigued him. He was sure the view wasn’t the only thing that made him feel so content.

A pathetic side to him wondered that if Felix had Chan by him, how did he have the audacity to even live up to him? He cared for Felix... A lot. He acknowledged it. They did too—the universe could _see_ how much they cared for each other. Compared to Chan, Changbin was nothing but an insect Felix steps all over. He couldn’t compete with Chan. They’ve known each other for years, too.

And what was Changbin to Felix? Some random guy who he thought was drunk in the middle of the day. Some damn _lunatic_ who insisted they were soulmates. He couldn’t even par with the older Australian when he was the epitome of Felix’s expectations!

“Seo Changbin,” Chan murmurs, quietly under his breath that Changbin was sure Felix couldn’t hear them. The shorter perks up, eyes wide as he whips his head from his phone. “What are you intending to do?”

What was he intending to do? _What_ was _he_ intending to do???

“What do you take me for, Bang Chan?” Changbin scoffs, Chan turning to him. Did the older really look down on him? It surprised him how contrasting he and Felix were. Felix, the kind-hearted, bubbly mess. While Chan, the human version of a chihuahua. What did the freckled Australian see in him again? “I’m not trying to pull anything. I’m not _that_ shameless.”

“You’ve been following and forcing your feelings upon Felix,” Chan turns his body toward the younger, turning off his phone and furrowing his eyebrows. “Don’t you think about how he feels? I know he keeps it to himself, but you’re making him uncomfortable. Stop it.”

Did it really make Lee Felix uncomfortable? That, behind all those smiles and welcoming greetings—was Changbin coming off as rash?

“Look, I don’t mind you being friends with us. It’s fine. We like making friends. But if you continue on with your delusional, soulmate bullshit—“ Chan’s voice lowers to an almost inaudible threat, pointing a finger at Changbin and his eyes darkening. He tilts his head down to get a better glance at the younger, hissing and gritting his teeth. Yeah, Changbin wasn’t messing with him, oh no. What he thought was a chihuahua, was instead a blood-thirsty, slobbering Rottweiler, most likely. “I’m here because Felix’s parents trusted me to take care of him. If you ever hurt him, or make him uncomfortable again, I swear I’ll—“

“Chan hyung, Changbin hyung.”

“Yes?” The two sweetly say, whipping their head toward the freckled Australian ways away. Chan had the brightest smile on his face—as if he wasn’t just threatening Changbin literal milliseconds earlier. But Changbin couldn’t complain. _Shouldn’t_ , more of. He probably has to sleep with one eye open t,hanks to the older, but all he could do smile and hum at the younger Australian.

“I think... I’m about—done!” He exclaims, leaning back from his creation with the brightest smile Changbin’s seen on him yet. Chan slides himself closer to the younger, leaning over and nodding at the piece.

“I think you should submit this as your assignment,” he smiles, Felix returning the gesture.

“You think so?”

“Of course.”

Felix glances up at Changbin, bright eyes wide and—he knew he shouldn’t take Chan’s words for granted. Changbin worked out, yes, but compared to Chan. the older looked like he could throw Changbin across Korea, no problem. Besides, the glare (and for the sake of Felix) was enough of a convincing statement.

Either way, Felix hums, jumping off of the wall and revealing his watercolor piece. Changbin couldn’t stop his heart from jumping.

Changbin thought that the painter did the architecture justice: the tiled roofs a contrasting blue against washes of warm gray. The gate doors warm and orange as the light hit it just right. The potted plants were livelier in the painting—shades of dulled and saturated greens, yellows, blues, and washed out pinks weaved and layered on top of each other. The entire piece had warm colors, despite having washes and strokes of cool colors scattered throughout. And the colors were, for the most part, accurate. But Felix added his own tastes, his own intuition into the piece.

And he looked so damn proud, so damn happy—this was his pièce de résistance.

That was always enough for Changbin to ignore Chan, threatening him with his fists from behind the freckled Australian.


	15. | Blue Black |

Felix had ears. There’s no doubt about that.

Despite his lack of ability to see color, he could hear perfectly fine.

So why the hell did he hear Changbin suddenly offer Chan snacks he _clearly_ bought for himself??

Don’t get him wrong. He was glad the two were finally making up—for some God-unknown reason. And he was getting sick of the tension between the two. But he figured that maybe he _preferred_ the bitter tension, the wary glances, the retaliating passive-aggressive remarks.

Of course, he didn’t understand why the two got off on the wrong foot, but he realized, quickly enough, that he’d rather have them passive-aggressively fighting behind Felix’s back instead of... _whatever_ the hell they were doing now.

When Changbin offered Chan some snacks, he sweetly smiled. He even bowed respectfully, holding his arm with his hand as he offered the older some jellies from a nearby convenience store. Chan, of course, politely declined.

The two were up to something, that much was clear. But why? What? _What_ were they planning behind Felix’s back now?? Maybe this mutual _interest_ , whatever it was, could finally bring them together. So he didn’t mind it very much. Even if Changbin flinched when Chan held up a hand to brush something out of his hair before laughing.

And Felix knows Chan. He knows the older was polite to strangers and friends; always looked out for others, and such. But the way he interacted with Changbin always kept the latter on edge. And not to mention— _wait_.

What _if—_ and Felix could be wrong! He wasn’t saying that his thoughts were set in stone. _But_ what _if_ they were having a little fling off to the side?? Was that the reason for all the stares, all the tension between them throughout this trip?? Felix _swears_ he knows Chan like the back of his hand! But he didn’t know that he was the type to... type to—No! Felix shouldn’t think of such things. If Chan and Changbin were doing something, then let them. Who was Felix to judge and/or prevent them?

But were they even soulmates? Changbin _did_ say that he saw color _that_ day, and Chan was somewhere in the marketplace as well. Maybe they ran into each other as well? Maybe they both knew of it. But last time Felix checked, Chan still couldn’t see color. Unless the man was hiding it from Felix. But he wouldn’t do that. Right?

Internal distresses aside, Chan suggested they go to Changdeokgung Palace.

Felix excitedly drags them there at the first mention of the news.

A., he’d think that the place would make great painting material, and B., he wanted to get away from the possible “sexual tension,” between the two. And Changdeokgung palace was close enough to fit into their schedule.

For the most part, it helped. The grandeur of it all prevented the two from getting into any major suspicious rebuttals. And if there were, taking in the palace and painting small thumbnails of the sights he thought looked cool, distracted him enough.

However, sometime between a bathroom break and the palace’s closing time, Changbin and Felix momentarily lost Chan. For a second, they waited outside the restrooms, thinking that the older was still inside. Though, after five minutes, they quickly found out that the older Australian wasn’t even there.

So Felix panicked—naturally. A foreign place and a missing friend was _never_ a good sign. He was sure Chan could protect himself if the time ever arose, but it never stopped Felix from thinking of the worst and—

“Why don’t we just call him?” Changbin suggested, scratching his head as he glances around. Oh. Then, yeah. There were certain procedures to take when a friend went missing. While he didn’t answer when Felix called him three times, the two left him a text and wait for him outside one of the cafes within the palace. 

The weather grew colder as the sun readied itself to sleep earlier for its long hibernations during the winter. Luckily, Felix dressed appropriately. It wasn’t as cold as, per se, Namiseom, but cold enough that he still couldn’t feel his fingers when he took them out of his pockets.

But did that stop him from painting? No. This was their last stretch in the palace. And Felix wouldn’t give up the last opportunities to paint. Though, something was wrong. Something was _horribly_ wrong.

“Can’t paint?” It seemed that Changbin noticed it too. Felix gave Chan some leeway whenever the older picked up his habits when he couldn’t paint. But if Changbin, a slightly warmer acquaintance, could pick it out then it Felix must’ve had it _bad_. He even trying to tear his paper out quietly and everything!

“I think... I’m done for the day,” Felix sighs, crumpling the sheet of awful watercolor paper he used both sides of before chucking it onto the table between them.

“Well, don’t sweat it. There’s always tomorrow. And the day after,” Changbin hums, Felix glancing at him with knitted brows. How could Felix _not_ paint? Painting was his life! It was his oxygen, his food, his water, his shelter. Not being able to paint only concerned him. How would he breathe? How will he gain sustenance? How will he escape the cold?

“What if... I can’t paint tomorrow? Or the paint the day after?” Felix frowns, settling his sketchbook on the table instead, turning to Changbin. What if today was the last day he’ll ever get inspiration like this?

“Then you’ll paint the day after that one. Don’t you think you have so many other opportunities, until the end of time, to achieve want you want, find what you need?”

Did Felix really paint too much? He thought of it before—that maybe he focused too much of his time on art. That he usually painted until his hands fell off, only giving himself a harder time when he needed to study for his other exams. And not to mention, he was practically a ticking time bomb. He _would_ run out of inspiration one way or another before falling into a deep, depressive state.

It was an artist thing, wasn’t it? Felix wasn’t delusional.

At least he doesn’t think so.

But Changbin was a curiosity. The other day he was a bumbling drunk before Felix and now he just transformed into a modern-day Plato. He was starting to see what Chan saw in him. And really, thinking of it, if Chan and Changbin _are_ doing something off to the side, Felix didn’t mind. Not at all. Especially when Changbin seemed rational enough, yet delusional to fit in with Chan.

And Felix enjoyed hanging out with him. He felt comfortable, despite only meeting a couple of weeks ago. He was a bit impulsive, but there were times Felix noticed he cared, though subtle.

Felix liked him, yeah. He wouldn’t mind if Changbin stuck around a little longer.

“I’m afraid that—“ Felix huffs, staring off to the traditional buildings ahead, hiding behind a few trees, lights hitting and illuminating the architecture. “I feel like my art is lacking in colors. Or emotion.”

Changbin turns to him, arching an eyebrow, “What do you mean?”

“Don’t tell Chan, please,” Felix smiles weakly. Why was he telling Changbin this again? Was it the weather? Was it the timing? Was Felix just feeling a little risque today? “But sometimes, I really want to... see color. Like—“ Felix huffs, trying to bury himself further into his coat. “I told him not to worry about my love life. That the time will come when I meet my soulmate, but when I paint or stare at my pieces, a part of me is criticizing them. I can’t see color. How the hell would I know what’s good or not, y’know?”

Changbin nods, sniffling and rubbing his hands together to gather warmth into his palms.

“Like—The only thing that connects me with painting is the emotions I pour into each piece. But I wonder if I could successfully convey my emotions if I can’t even see color. If I’m doing well as an _artist._ Could people see what I see?” Felix slouches, staring at his boots as they stepped on each other. He didn't really expect the older to reply. He thought he'd embarrassingly give him a glimpse of his insecurities and that'd be it. They'd be stuck in neverending silence from that point on. But Changbin turns to him, he blinks at the Australian, his thought so clear, yet murky in his eyes. 

“I think you’ve succeeded. I mean, continuing as a painter without seeing color is your emotion in of itself. Like you’re pouring everything you have for this. And it’s saying something, isn’t it? You said you painted with emotions, but I think that once you pick up your brush, you’re talking in a language that no one else understands. But you have to find a way to interpret it that it makes sense.” he hums. “Sometimes, we feel pressured to find our soulmates so quickly in life. I mean, you look down a street and more than half could see color. Then there’s just you... You feel a little—out of place? That you don’t fit in because you haven’t seen your soulmate yet.”

“But you can see colors now so,” Felix smiles at him, trying to brighten the sudden melancholy that accompanied the cold weather.

“Yeah, but... It’s kind of useless without a soulmate, don’t you think?” Changbin huffs out a laugh, turning to Felix. He reaches over, picking up the forgotten sketchbook and gesturing to the freckled Australian. “Can I?”

Felix nods, eyes wide as the older opened to the first page, flipping through each piece with a smile playing on his lips.

His heart was in his ears. If he thought that showing Hyunjin his paintings were bad enough, then Changbin looking through them was equivalent to that of a nuclear war. Why was he so nervous? Changbin wouldn’t judge him for _painting,_ would he? Even the ugly pieces—would he point out every mistake?

Felix anticipated his answer. It wasn’t an exciting feeling. It felt like dread whenever Changbin flipped another page. He felt like he would explode whenever Changbin would run his fingers over the dried paint.

He felt like his rib cage was tightening around his lungs. Why did Changbin’s opinion make him so nervous??

Felix perks up as the older turns the sketchbook toward the younger, pointing at a painting that he did ways back. They were in Istanbul, Felix thinks, in front of vibrant historical houses (as he was told).

He had a hard time painting this one, mostly because he couldn’t really paint outside of the proper colors. But what _were_ the proper colors? Everything was gray to him and Chan that they continued to ask up and down the street for anyone who could see color. But then again, the two couldn’t really speak Turkish very well.

But Felix managed—for the most part. Painting it was a learning experience, after all.

“This house right here?” Changbin points to the first one on the left, Felix arching an eyebrow. Did he have his criticisms ready? Like a robber threatening Felix with a knife, he was ready to take away everything from the younger. And Felix wouldn’t do anything about it, either. What _could_ he do anyway? He’ll only be denying the truth. And when Changbin smiles at him, sweetly and softly—Felix didn’t expect him to say, “It’s blue. The shadows you painted are cold, but where the light hits it, it makes the blue more saturated and warmer. The one to the right is yellow. It’s a bit pale, but the dark window and door contrast with it. The tree in front of it, too. It has a clear green silhouette against the yellow.”

Felix wondered why Changbin described to him the colors of what he painted down. But that confusion was quick to dissipate, only to be replaced with a simmering comfort. It was so nice to hear what his paintings looked like for someone who could see color.

Usually, he gets vague descriptions of “ _vibrant_!” Or “ _it’s_ _amazing_!” But to outright hear—to almost imagine what they would look like...

Whenever Felix paints, he gets so lost in the technicalities of it all that he sometimes forgets that they were supposed to be colored. He could read the labels all he want, but the word “ _red_ ,” had nothing against the color itself: _Red_. And at least hearing it from someone else—it just hit _different_.

Changbin continued to describe the colors, the shades, the hues, the tones. For a second, when Felix closed his eyes, he believed he felt the moment he’d touched his soulmate. When he’d finally see color. When that unknown world would be opened up to him.

But when he opened them again, he’d only see Seo Changbin, describing him the world he couldn’t see.

Digging into his backpack, Felix pulls out a backup sketchbook, sketching out the man that sat across from him as a brick of inspiration finally cracked his skull.

He wondered what colors he’d instinctively put down, as he painted with his emotions. _If_ he painted Changbin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> y'aLl the nExt CHApteR Is OnE Of my Favorites AHVASKJBAS  
> you'll understand why once I post it on Saturday :)


	16. | Perylene Black |

"Do you think I still have kimchi at home?"

Felix arches an eyebrow when Jisung turns to him. The taller shrugs half-heartedly, leaning against their shopping cart with a frown. When Jisung placed napa cabbage into their cart, the older grips onto the metal edge and catching Felix's eyes. The freckled Australian (previously staring at eggs, wondering if they already had eggs at home) glances up, leaning away from the squirrelly man's big bright eyes.

"Dude, are you okay?" He asks, Felix nodding tentatively.

He didn't mean to look so melancholy.

First, it's Sunday. That meant that there was no going out—it was a rest day. Whether or not for religious purposes, Felix and Chan _needed_ a rest day, anyway. So Felix decided to help Jisung grocery shop. It wasn't much, but Felix couldn't be left at home alone with his thoughts. Usually, Felix was all for staying home. He and Chan spent enough time outside that the younger sometimes missed the comforts of the indoors. However, he couldn't paint or draw. He couldn't touch anything _"art"._

Second, tying into Felix's first point—Seo Changbin,

Again, Seo Changbin caused him even more dilemmas.

After their trip to Changdeokgung, Felix couldn't glance at another piece of art. A part of him wondered if Changbin secretly cursed him under his breath. He just jinxed it. Felix _couldn't_ paint the day after or the day after that. He couldn't even glance at his supplies.

Maybe he just felt the monthly artist block, or the routine fear of his art not meeting expectations. But a part of him also wondered if it had anything to do with Seo Changbin.

The last spurt of ideas Felix had was when he painted Changbin. It wasn't much, but again, he got lost into the technicalities of the painting that he doesn't remember what colors he used. Of course, he couldn't just go up to the older and show it to him. He was too embarrassed to! But he was too curious as to what colors he painted Changbin with. And no, he'd probably never show _anyone_. Much more the man it's intended for.

Maybe painting Changbin was a bad idea—an impulse drawing. Maybe he'll rip it up and chuck it into the fire.

Felix never had artist block as bad as this one. For the most part, he could still stare at his paper and brush no problem. This— _this_ was just ridiculous.

"What if you can't see color—"

"Yeah, I can't."

"No- I mean—" Felix laughs lightly, Jisung smiling at his attempt to make the younger lighten up. "You can't see color, right? But you hang around someone, and you suddenly see them in a different light." Felix clears his throat. "Figuratively."

Jisung furrows his eyebrows, tilting his head as Felix sighs, twirling his hands in unknown gestures.

"Like… Is there anything on non-soulmates getting together?"

"I mean, I watched a drama like that," Jisung hums, pushing himself off of the cart and shrugging. "They didn't end up together. It was sad. You should watch it—"

"But is it possible?"

"I mean probably, I don't know," Jisung hums. Gosh, Han Jisung was hopeless... "There are the regular hookups but I don't think non-soulmates ever go past that." There was a pause. "Hey, you want to have a picnic with Chan by the Han river?"

That wasn't the answer Felix was looking for. But then again, that meant that if Changbin and Chan _aren't_ soulmates, then they couldn't be together. What if they _were,_ though? Chan has never expressed any possible ability to see color. And if he did, he would've told Felix. Or have a little slip-up that would help Felix connect two and two. At least he _should've._

But then again, Changbin thought that _Felix_ was his soulmate. He even brought it up _twice_ and looked so convinced. But Felix sure as hell know he can't see color—unless his brain blocked out his eyesight and somehow replaced it.

So that would mean that _they_ couldn't be together either.

What was Felix thinking about! He shouldn't go pining after someone who already belonged to someone else. That just seemed so _wrong_! So filthy.

"Hey, Ji—" By the time Felix regained his normal stream of consciousness, Jisung disappeared, leaving him alone in the aisle to… _Wherever_ he is. He did that a lot. He wandered off silently before coming back out of nowhere moments later. But it was Jisung. He was Han Jisung, so Felix took it upon himself to find the older. For _both_ of their sakes.

Felix wondered how Jisung could just pass by the world without even having a _single_ thought about his soulmate. Surely, he had those curious thoughts everyone else had. Thoughts about what their soulmate looked like; when they would meet each other and such. Maybe that's why the squirrelly man was so carefree. He didn't have the stressful thoughts about love chaining him down. Instead, he was jumping from tree to tree with no problems.

That was another thing Felix thought of. When Changbin said that not being able to see color just felt so... out of place, taboo—that hit Felix so hard that it physically hurt.

But not being able to see color _wasn't_ taboo! There are people in the world who don't even meet their soulmates! Felix should be glad he was still young. _Actually,_ he was still too young to stress continuously about love! Maybe Jisung's (borderline stupid) philosophy was right.

_Just go with the flow._

“Yah! Lee Felix, I didn’t think I’d see you here!” Felix perks up at the sound of someone yelling, glancing down an aisle he walked by to see a certain fox-eyed man bounding along. Beside him was a stern-faced individual, rolling the cart with his elbows on the bar. Why did Felix see everyone at this damn grocery market?

“I didn’t think I’d see you two here either,” Felix smiles, Jeongin bowing lightly toward him as Minho stops the cart, glancing over the various options of spices they had.

“Ah, me and Minho hyung are roommates. We kinda needed to grocery shop before we drown in student loans.” Jeongin shrugs, Minho gesturing to Felix with Himalayan salt.

“Oh! How’s it going with Changbin, by the way? His petty ass doesn’t reply to any of my messages.”

“He’s fine. Why?” Felix arches an eyebrow as Jeongin hits Minho’s arm.

“Hyung, how many times do we have to go over this? They aren’t soulmates.”

Yeah, they weren’tsoulmates. They _weren’t_ soulmates...

“I don’t give a fuck if they’re soulmates or not. I was just asking about Changbin,” Minho leans away with a grimace when Jeongin points a scolding finger at the older. “Leave me alone. I’m filing a divorce at this point. And I’m taking Soonie, Dori—if you pay child support, I’ll let you have Doongi.”

“Jeongin! Why don’t you and Minho join me and my friend for a picnic?” Felix smiles, the youngest’s eyes lighting up. However, before Jeongin could provide an answer, they all turn toward someone calling and running down the aisle.

“Yongbok-ah! There you are! I’ve been—” Jeongin and Minho’s eyes are wide on Jisung, who retaliated with his own wide stare and frown. There was a long pause. Maybe what felt like a minute or two of Jisung, Minho, Jeongin, and Felix in utter silence, nothing but the PA system sounding off above them and the low hum of the freezers an aisle over.

Felix clears his throat and Minho makes a move to roll the cart away until Jeongin stops him.

“He’s right there, Innie,” Minho sighs exasperatedly, gesturing to Jisung who rolls his eyes. “I told you. I won’t be anywhere with Han Jisung inside a perimeter of ten meters.”

“I don’t like you either, Lee Minho!” Jisung hisses, narrowing his eyes. “But you never see me be an asshat to everyone I meet.”

“You’re right. You’re so annoying that no one even wants to stay long enough to get to know you.”

“Yah! Yah!” Jisung says breathlessly, almost throwing a radish at the older if Felix hadn’t yanked the vegetable from the older’s grasp, carefully placing it into the cart. Chan needed this essential vegetable for their dinner later. It wouldn’t be of use if Jisung smashed it into Minho’s face. “Even your cats have better manners than you!”

Before Minho could run Jisung over with the cart, the youngest separates them apart with a nervous chuckle, glancing at Felix for help. But the freckled Australian didn’t even understand what the _hell_ was going on! He knew many people think Jisung was too much, but he never thought he’d see the day Jisung felt the same about someone else. Despite the confident front he always puts up the man was kind of a... pushover.

“Okay! I think it’s about time we leave, right Minho hyung?”

“Yeah, I think so too,” Jisung barks, Minho scoffing out an answer.

“Are you Minho?” The said man sneers, Jisung, again, reaching for the radish if Felix didn’t swerve the cart away.

“ _Okay!_ Hyung! We’re leaving!” Jeongin exclaims before the two could get into another useless rebuttal. He pushes Minho and the cart past Jisung and Felix, Jeongin bowing apologetically at the freckled Australian before brightening. Minho tried to smack the back of Jisung’s head until the fox-eyed man gripped his wrist before they could even contact the squirrelly man’s head. “Also! We’d be glad to attend the picnic! Just ask Changbin hyung for my number!”

“What?!” Jisung exclaims in English as the two scurry off, whipping his head toward the freckled Australian with wide eyes. He sputters, an unusual curiosity in Felix’s eyes. He was a _rapper_. Han Jisung at that. Jisung just didn’t sputter—stutter, stammer, or anything of the sort. “You invited- You invited _them?? Lee Minho?!”_

“Well, I didn’t know you were on such bad terms with someone.” Felix frowns, Jisung shaking his head furiously.

“No, no, no. Jeongin is _fine_. I like him, he’s cool. _Lee Minho,_ on the other hand—“ Jisung stammers. It seemed that they hated each other so much that Jisung couldn’t even get the older’s name out properly. Couldn’t even form his petty thoughts into words, instead opting for erratic gestures and a frustrated whine toward the Australian. “You know??”

“Why do you guys hate each other’s guts so much?”

“Hyunjin goes to the same university as them. Let’s just say, me and Lee Minho got off on the wrong foot. He’s _such_ an asshole, don’t you think?”

Well, Felix thought that Minho was fine. He was like every other Gen Z: hated the world, hated himself, hated everything else besides his pets. That was Lee Minho in a nutshell. And Felix was sure there was more to the man than what meets the eye. Hell, he might be the most interesting man Felix got to know him more.

But he knew there was no changing Jisung’s mind. The man was a stubborn mule, that was it.

“Aish, nevermind,” Jisung waves it off, frustratingly placing a small white container into their cart with an angry pout. “I got us tofu.” 

**\---**

_Have you painted anything today_?

That text from Changbin haunted him.

What should he say?

 _No_ —but that would worry him.

 _Yes_ —but he didn’t.

 _Maybe?—_ but that seemed so suspicious.

But he just _had_ to answer now. He’s already opened the message and he couldn’t _just_ leave Changbin on read! That’d be too shameful, too disrespectful, despite everything Changbin’s done to Felix so far.

Felix is growing crazy! Why the hell is he so worried about what he does and doesn’t say to Changbin?!

 _Why_ did they even go to Korea... he and Chan could’ve spent the holidays in a million different places! Like Germany. Or the Caribbean. _Or_ maybe they could’ve just stayed at home, in beautiful Australia. At least, he and Chan would spend their time at beaches at swimming.

He knew he’ll have gray hairs by the time he was twenty-three, thanks to this supposedly simple trip to Korea.

“Oh, I know him,” Jisung leans over Felix’s shoulder, the younger shutting off his phone and laying his head on the table with a frustrated groan. “He and I used to rap together back in high school.”

“Seo Changbin?” Felix arches an eyebrow, peeking past his arms and glancing back at Jisung who nods, picking at their bowl of ramyeon Chan graciously cooked for the two of them by the time they were back from the grocery store.

“Yeah. Sharp chin. Wears hats all the damn time, short, kinda emo and skinny and edgy,” Jisung says, leaning his elbows against the table. Felix frowns with furrowed eyebrows, tilting his head. “Well, that’s what he looked like in high school, at least.”

“He’s a _rapper_?” Chan laughs from the kitchen, peeking into the connected dining room with a scoff. “That makes sense, actually.”

“But hyung,” Jisung frowns, staring at the Australian ways away. “I’m a rapper.”

“ _Well—“_ Chan shrugs a shoulder, tilting his head side to side before retreating to the sink, continuing to wash and cut the vegetables.

“He was so good,” Jisung sighs, pouting. “Kinda wish he didn’t quit. He was way too good.”

“Why did he quit?” Felix sits up, turning to Jisung as the older continues to eat his food, shrugging.

“I don’t know. Maybe he thought music was a waste of time? Money problems? Or he just lost interest? I don't know.” Jisung didn’t elaborate anymore—or didn’t linger on the subject any longer. That was nothing but memories of the past—useless moments that were lost in the sands of time. Felix guessed that he should do that too. Not so much forget about it, but more so _not stress_ about it so much.

Felix realized how much he looked up to Jisung, despite being a day apart. He was hardworking; he knew how to _talk_ without worrying about each word; he didn’t let every single, small detail bother him. But then again, with how chill he seemed with everything (besides Lee Minho), Felix suspected that the older _might_ indulge in some recreational drug uses from time to time. But a part of Felix also reassured himself that Jisung would be too much of an idiot to even start.

“Oh, what day do you guys want to go to the Han river?” Chan asks from the kitchen, pulling Felix out of his thoughts, and saving his and Jisung’s half-eaten bowl of ramyeon from the freckled Australian’s extended glare.

“I’m free Saturday. But I kind of don’t want to go anymore,” Jisung huffs with a pout, turning to Felix and sneering. “ _Someone_ didn’t ask for my consent when they invited _you-know-who_.”

“Jisung, I didn’t know you hated him. Much more knew them,” Felix scoffs in defense, crossing his arms and leaning back into the wooden chair. “And I can’t un-invite them now! That’s rude!”

“Ha, _rude—“_ Jisung scoffs dramatically, rolling his eyes and grimacing. “All Lee Minho deserves is ‘ _rude_.’”

“Look, Ji, you can invite Hyunjin if you want?” Chan calls from the kitchen, the younger immediately scrambling for his phone.

“Yes, please! God, I’d rather drown than spend even five minutes with Lee Minho,” Jisung mutters bitterly to himself.

“Is that an option?” Felix yelps when Jisung hits his shoulder, scoffing and immediately ordering Hyunjin to attend their planned picnic. No questions asked. If he were to spend time with his arch-nemesis, then he’d need all the emotional support he could get.

“Yah, you should invite Seo Changbin.” the freckled Australian immediately perks up at the squirrelly man’s suggestion, feeling something constrict his ribcage—almost like Jisung just punched him in the gut (Which he _wouldn’t_. At least not to Felix, anyway). And to think Felix considered about _“going with the flow.”_ He couldn’t even go ten seconds without nervously fidgeting at the mere mention of Changbin’s name.

And not that he thought of Seo Changbin _that_ way! He didn’t mind if the older ever made such advances, but after Changdeokgung, Felix just felt so... _awkward_. He didn’t know if Changbin felt the same way, but he also worried that he might be the only one that experienced this one-sided, childish anxiety.

When they first met, Changbin had been in a rush. They bumped into each other. The older kept suggesting they were soulmates. There was just one question after another that Felix was more than happy to answer. But every hurricane calmed down, and Changbin just sort of… _stopped_. He wasn’t complaining, no. But if Felix ever wanted to continue growing his relationship with Changbin—it was hard to start up conversations... He depended on the older’s constant flow. He needed that hurricane to return. To wash away all the muck that held Felix back. 

“No!” Chan yells from the kitchen, Jisung and Felix leaning over and arching an eyebrow at the older’s sudden outburst. He sighs, chopping radishes and throwing them into a large pot. “I- I mean—”

“Geez, just a suggestion,” the squirrelly man mumbles, slouching into his chair, almost burying himself into his padded jacket.

“Hyung, why don’t you want to invite Changbin?” Felix questions, the curly-haired Australian waving him off. “I mean—I thought you two...”

A pause.

Chan turns, arching an eyebrow as Felix tries to wipe off the pink that dusted his freckled cheeks, laughing awkwardly and trying to swat the air to clear the tension. Please, Bang Chan, don’t try to push any further.

“We’re what?”

“I thought you two were— _Y’know_...” Felix clears his throat, Chan exiting the kitchen, wiping his hands on his mother’s apron, and crossing his arms in front of the two. “Were having a thing off to the—”

Usually, Felix hated it when Jisung interrupted him. Usually, when he had something to say, and the squirrelly man lets his excitement get ahead of him, cutting Felix off, the latter usually wanted to smack the side of his head.

But _damn_ was he glad that Jisung cackled and wheezed and pounded a fist onto the table, cutting Felix off before he could even shame himself _fully_ in front of Chan.

“Yo- yo- yo! Let me get this straight,” Jisung turns to a red-faced Felix, speaking in breathless English as he tries to push past his laughter. “You thought Chan and Changbin were fucking??”

Yes, Felix was glad that Jisung interrupted him this _one_ time. But can’t this man shut his _damn_ mouth?? Instead of a quiet shame that would’ve accompanied Felix if he finished his sentence, instead, Jisung made it worse tenfold by shouting it for the whole damn neighborhood to hear!

God! Felix wanted to kill himself! Was there a way humans could devolve into snails?

“I swear to God! Jisung, all they had was fucking sexual tension between them during our trip together. It was so damn frustrating!” Felix barks at the squirrelly man who almost fell out of his chair, hanging from his seat by keeping a grip on the edge of the table.

“Sexual tension??” Chan sputters, shaking is head furiously. And to make matters worse? Felix was an idiot and got it all wrong. _Great._ “Lix. There is _nothing_ between us. Okay? I wanna throw up just _thinking_ about being with Seo Changbin!”

What was the saying?

_Assume makes an ‘ass of u and me.’_

“Then why are you guys so... _weird_ together?” Felix tilts his head, knitting his brows. Chan opens his mouth, pointing at the freckled Australian. Though before anything could spill, he takes the two’s bowl from the table, huffing and kicking Jisung to get him to shut up. And the squirrelly man only fell on his ass with a yelp. Good riddance.

“Fine. Go invite him.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Excuse me but I love writing Minsung fighting LMAO. 
> 
> I don't why but I love it when Jisung looks like he's about to beat the living shit out of Minho dhusjdfsdefzgt IT'S jUST TOO FUNNY
> 
> Anyway, the next few chapters MIGHT be my favorites too :/
> 
> -Ly <3


	17. | Bismuth Yellow |

"You know this isn't a date, right?"

"I know it's not a date." Of course this wasn't a date! Even an idiot would know that this wasn't a date. "Can't I just try to look nice for once?"

A date was a sort of thing where two people (friendly or romantic) got together in a meeting and enjoy themselves, get to know each other and such.

 _This_ was just a picnic at the Han river with Felix and his friends.

At first, Changbin was about to downright refuse. It was winter, they'd be crazy to think it'd be a great idea to eat outside. But then again, it was bright and blue outdoors, not a cloud in the sky (miraculously). The sun was out and smiling. Thank God Seoul still hasn't experienced its first snow day. It was the weekend, and who would Changbin be to turn down an offer from Felix?

And, he admits, he _might've_ spent another minute or two—or ten in front of his closet, trying to figure out what to wear. He didn't want another friend of Felix to think he was a good for nothing heathen. Plus, he was going with Seungmin. If anything, he had to look like they weren't acquaintances or anything closer.

"Jeongin and Minho hyung are apparently going," Seungmin hums as he laid back on Changbin's bed, playing some game on his phone while he waited for the older to get ready. He cursed out someone he was playing with, Changbin arching an eyebrow at the gray-haired man as he exited the bathroom. "Jeongin told me that he and the crazy cat lady ran into Felix at the grocery store."

"The grocery store?" The older frowns, knitting his brows as Seungmin nods aimlessly. He was starting to think that store has some magical power buried deep within—either that or Felix just runs into everybody and this was just some weird, universal coincidence. Either way, Changbin wouldn't have agreed if he knew Jeongin and Minho were attending.

That's two others he wanted to separate himself from. And to think that Kim Seungmin was enough! God, even Felix's indirect actions were affecting Changbin.

"Aish, I have a bad feeling about this," the older mutters, tying his shoes as Seungmin sits up with a scoff.

"Hyung, it's a picnic," Seungmin says, stretching as he stood. He digs through Changbin's closet, stealing a coat for his own advantages. He's always " _forgetting_ " his own coat at home. But in Changbin's opinion, the younger is only prettying himself up. Just in case he spills something, it'll be on Changbin's clothes, not Seungmin's. "The worst that could happen is Minho poisoning one of us there."

Ha! Changbin _wished_ that would be the worst thing that could happen there. But knowing himself, he'd probably do something _stupid_ in front of Felix and his friends. Not only that, but Changbin is _still_ trying to forget Changdeokgung altogether!

He's surely embarrassed himself in front of Felix enough. He only tried to cheer the freckled Australian up, but he was quick to realize that he was _probably_ weirding or offending the younger. And when he finally acknowledged his own _idiocy,_ it was too late. His pride kept him going, damn him.

He'll just pretend that nothing at Changdeokgung ever happened—no—Changdeokgung _never_ happened.

"How do I look?" The shorter asks when Seungmin turns to him with an arched eyebrow, eyes giving him a long once over.

"Like my foot."

"Psh. You're the one to talk."

"Hyung, did you even bring anything?" Seungmin asks, pulling on the coat and returning the hanger back to the closet.

"Are we..." Changbin whips his head toward the younger at the news, eyebrows raised and a frown set on his lips. "Are we supposed to...?"

"Are you serious? It's a picnic," Seungmin scoffs, the older tilting his head at his own obliviousness. "Hyung, I may be a leech, but you should always bring something for a picnic. Especially when you're invited to it."

"Well, why aren't you bringing anything?"

"Because," Seungmin shrugs, handing Changbin his coat. "I'm going with you. You'll buy for the both of us."

**—-**

They could've taken the car. But despite Seungmin's incessant complaining, Changbin wanted to A) save gas, B) finally get Seungmin's lazy ass to walk around _humans_ after ten years of criticizing their way of life from his cave and C) they could use the extra exercise.

But another reason (one that's left unsaid under the nose of Seungmin) was that he'd rather prolong their trek to the park. He worried they'd be too early, and Changbin would have to spend unending awkward silence with Felix. Or he'd be too late that Chan's dislike toward him would continue because of his own incompetence!

So they took the bus to go at his own pace without seeming too suspicious.

"Changbin hyung! Here! Over here!"

But alas, postponing the inevitable only makes it worse.

When his eyes met Felix's, he couldn't stop his heart from doing strenuous exercise around his ribcage. It ran, did jumping jacks, burpees, pushups, sit-ups, and such. He was a stickler for exercise but _goddamn_ his heart needed to calm down or else he'll die of a heart attack 60 years too early.

"Hyung, Felix is right there," Seungmin points out, the older shaking his head furiously, patting his cheeks. The puppy-eyed man notices the subtle, erratic display of the older's anxiety, laughing and smiling so brightly it could combat the sun. "You guys don't even know each other for a month and you're already acting like soulmates."

"No way," the shorter scoffs, turning toward the group of boys ways away, under the shade of a tree and sitting on numerous blankets placed close to each other, jackets hanging from their shoulders. He returns the bright gesture Felix gave him, grateful that the Australian provided a sense of warmth, contrasting to Changbin's coldness. "I wish we were."

"Huh?? Hyung, what was that?!" Seungmin calls out with a smile, frantically chasing after Changbin when the older scurried toward the group. "Hyung!"

"I'm glad you made it!" Felix smiles. And if it wasn't chilly outside, Changbin might've melted on the spot. Chan was there, curly hair gone and cut short, though he kept to himself instead of the usual passive-aggressive glare he always had on the younger. Someone else was there—a very familiar chubby-cheeked man who smiled thinly at him when their eyes met.

" _Yo_ ," he says, raising a hand and tilting his head up in a nod.

"Han Jisung. I never thought I would see you again!" Changbin exclaims as he shakes the squirrelly man's hand. "How have you been?"

"Good, good. Still haven't stopped rapping, though—stop by my studio from time to time," Jisung smiles, swaying from side to side as he stares up at the older. "What about you? You still spit bars?"

"Oh, no, no," the older laughs lightly, shaking his head and making obscure gestures. "Not anymore. I'm trying to become an editor at a book publishing company now."

"Ah. That makes sense," Jisung nods with wide eyes, smiling. "You've always—holy shit, Lee Minho is coming over, quickly."

Changbin yelps when the squirrelly man takes his hand and yanks him down, stumbling onto his ass right beside the younger. Seungmin was sitting beside Felix, already in another conversation with the two Australians.

Jisung kept his arm locked around Changbin's, eyebrows knitted and a deep frown set on his lips when a familiar duo—the fox and the feline came walking over. Jeongin and Minho bowed to the group—the most respectful of the bunch, contrary to popular belief. But with people like Seungmin and Jisung... That wasn't saying very much.

"Minho hyung, what are you..." Seungmin stares wide-eyed at the eccentric feline, the red-haired dragging one blanket away from the group after placing a box wrapped in a light blue cloth in the middle of the group.

"Perimeter of ten meters," Minho reminds with a small hum. Oh yeah, Changbin forgot that he and Jeongin both knew Han Jisung. Actually, Minho mentioned the squirrelly man once and Changbin forgot about it altogether. 

"Hyung, you'll be at the bottom of the river then." Jeongin points out, grabbing the older's arm and pulling him back toward the group. Unluckily, Changbin was stuck in between the two enemies: Han Jisung and Lee Minho. Luckily, Felix was sitting across from him. That was enough to ignore the childish insults the two threw at each other every other second.

Felix was in between Chan and Seungmin, the trio getting off on a better note than Changbin ever will. They joked, and laughed, and—whenever Felix smiled, Changbin would immediately forget that God hated him so much that he placed him in between two quarreling idiots. He would forget the cold. Or his impatience. His heart wasn't going through vigorous exercise anymore, but more so a brisk walk with the occasional skip.

And when Felix glanced away from Seungmin, glancing at Changbin with a smile, he felt as if all of his breath was just punched out of his lungs. Did he impede Minho's punch toward Jisung?

"Why don't we eat? Hyunjin said he'll be late and to start without him anyway." Felix clears his throat, a childish, pretty pink dusting over his freckled cheeks as his eyes left Changbin's. He thought about Changdeokgung, didn't he? Oh God.

"I hope you guys like this," Minho hums, reaching over and untying the colorful bundle to reveal a container of dumplings. "I made them this morning, y'all better be grateful."

When Jisung lets out an audible scoff, Minho immediately turns his head toward the squirrelly man in a serious deadpan, staring down at the younger.

"It looks like you overcooked half of them—you should've brought store-bought ones."

"Here we go again," Jeongin sighs, rubbing his temple before ushering the others to continue eating without the two. And _here_ they go again. Though he never mentioned Jisung by name, the younger had always complained to Changbin about Minho's incredibly _stupid_ antics with a friend of one of their classmates. While Changbin thought that the younger was only complaining about the expected pet-peeves brought upon by his roommate, he didn't think it was real. And honestly, _this bad._ Though Changbin would always wonder who was lucky enough to even bright out such unusual reactions from the red-haired when he'd otherwise be a walking statue. "Let's just eat without them guys."

"Like you can even _cook_ Han Jisung," Minho retaliates, Jisung perking up with wide eyes and a scowl.

"I _can_ cook! Why, have you ever known me on a personal level?"

"I don't think I need to know you personally to pick out the obvious—"

"Yah! Lee Minho!"

"Can you just shut up, you two?!" Changbin barks, the two leaning back and perking up with wide eyes on each other, before trailing to the shorter. Chan and Seungmin both tried to suppress their laughter and Jeongin continued eating (this was just another regular Saturday for him). Angrily grabbing his chopsticks, he takes one dumpling and shoves it into Jisung's mouth, the younger letting out a squeak and a hesitant chew with wide eyes.

The entire group was silent at this point, and Minho even raised his eyebrows, expecting any upcoming insult to injury to fall from the squirrelly man's mouth.

"Woh—" Jisung covers his mouth as he spoke between chews, staring wide-eyed at Minho. "It's actually really good."

And _that's_ when the world should've ended. Han _Jisung_ complimenting Lee _Minho?_ Where was Armageddon? Where was the supposed Apocalypse? The four horsemen and the such?? Han Jisung just complimented Lee Minho, for Christ's sake!

"You're welcome," Minho mumbled to himself when Jisung shyly takes more dumplings. And before the situation could get _anymore_ awkward, a tall, dark-haired man with a mullet just came screeching between the group, out of breath and a smile on his plump lips.

He holds up a bag and (Changbin noticed this since Seungmin sat close to Felix) a certain puppy-eyed individual stared up at him as he breathlessly say and sit next to Minho, "I brought Jokbal and Macarons!"

**\---**

Changbin and Seungmin find out later that day that the man's name was Hwang Hyunjin (more so listening into the group's passing conversations instead of flat-out asking). Seungmin was a little shy to ask him anything, but the two learned that he was Jisung's close friend from high school—even if Changbin had never seen such a handsome guy in his life (until Felix came along). But A) how the hell did he ever get into cahoots with someone like _Han Jisung_ and B) why wasn't Seungmin saying anything?

This was the quietest he's ever seen the puppy-eyed individual, and it did nothing but send red flags all over Changbin's mind. The devil never stayed quiet. His mouth keeps on blabbering and blabbering. Maybe it was true that devils trembled under the presence of angels.

"Hyung, he's the guy we ran into in the bookstore," Seungmin covers his face shyly, the two walking behind the group as they traversed through the city. After the picnic (everything was very appetizing), the group broke in half and explore Seoul for a bit.

It wasn't anything much, but at least they could all spend more time with each other. Sadly though, Felix wasn't in their group.

Instead, Chan, the _other_ Australian, was unlucky enough to be in their group. And Hyunjin too!

It was a bit awkward first, especially with this divide between Changbin and Chan, Hyunjin with all three of them, and Changbin and Seungmin. But the four eventually warmed up to each other. Well... as best as they could.

"Okay and?" Changbin whispers, Seungmin sighing and shaking his head. "He doesn't seem to mind you, get over it."

"But don't you think...?" Uh oh, Seungmin's dangerous habit of dreaming just came into play. Geez, this kid had too high of fantasies, didn't he? "It all seems a little coincidental that I _feel_ like fate has a hand on this, don't you think?"

"No. You're getting your hopes up," Changbin laughs lightly, patting the puppy-eyed man's back. Though when Hyunjin turns around, bright-eyed and all, Changbin could feel Seungmin flinch under his hand.

Who was he to blame, anyway? Hyunjin could take away anyone's breath in an instant. Including Changbin's.

"Do you guys wanna go into an arcade?" He asks, Chan smiling at him.

"Why not! Say, why don't we see who gets to pay for drinks later??" The older Australian suggests, everyone else unanimously agreeing. Playing for games was much better than rock-paper-scissors to decide, anyway.

The four enter a nearby arcade, and while Seungmin and Hyunjin wandered off to a claw machine (Hyunjin saying something about owing Jisung a stuffed animal or something), Chan and Changbin stayed behind, picking up a zombie shooter while they waited for the two.

"What's your relationship with Felix like?"

Ah, yes. Seo Changbin, an intellectual—master of timing, _asking_ this very crucial question to his (on the down-low) rival. In the middle of shooting zombies, he asks _now_ of all times. What could be a better time?

"Lee Felix?" Chan hums, shrugging nonchalantly. "We're very close friends, why."

"Oh, I don't know," the younger, _also_ shrugs, nonchalant, trying to play off his stupid, impulse question. "Just curious."

"Oh? What were you curious about?" Chan huffs out a laugh, shooting a zombie that came close to the younger. "You think we're dating?"

"What?! No! No! No!" Changbin perks up, eyes wide and his entire face growing red. He was so glad Chan still couldn't see color because, by God, he wouldn't hear the end of it! "I just- I mean- you two are close? And—well—"

Quick, Changbin think! Don't let Chan accidentally know that he may, or may not, be a little jealous about his seemingly flawless relationship with a certain freckled Australian.

"Look, if it makes you feel any better," Chan sighs, lowering his gun when they finally reach the next level, turning to Changbin with a frown. "We're not soulmates. Never have, never will be."

"So..."

"So whatever you're thinking? Never going to happen."

"Oh," Changbin clears his throat, shrugging and returning to their game. A beat of awkwardness pass, nothing but the sounds of zombies and shooting filling the endless schism between the two. "I- I mean, you two aren't soulmates, I kinda—"

"Felix was just the oldest friend I've had around. One that stuck around long enough, anyway," Chan mumbles, Changbin arching an eyebrow at him. "We were neighborhood friends, but only started talking in middle school, Australia." The Australian laughs, light and bubbly. Probably the purest thing he's ever heard from the older man. "But high school rolled around, and junior year, my parents wanted to return to Korea. I grudgingly went with them but in the span of... two, three months? I realized that without Felix, my life just kind of seemed... y'know..." he shrugs. " _Empty._ "

Another beat of silence, until Chan takes a breath.

"I convinced my parents to let me stay in Australia with Felix. We were two grades apart, so by the time his graduation rolled around, I was there. Supporting him with all I could—and even now, I'll still support him. No matter what," Chan smiles fondly, shaking his head at his own childish stupidness before laughing. "If... all this soulmate whatchamacallit wasn't ever a thing—I- I want to... stay by Felix forever. Now, I just have to wait for the bastard who takes care of him better than I do."

Was he... Was Chan talking about him...?

Had Changbin been the reason Chan was hostile toward him? Because he was a threat to their long-lasting friendship. Was he afraid that, once Felix finds his soulmate, the freckled Australian would soon forget about him? That's clearly not the case, right? Felix was too kind-hearted to even think about leaving anyone behind.

But then again, despite the heart-breaking confession Chan just uttered between them, Changbin couldn't help the trickle of jealousy that nipped at his neck. Of course, he couldn't help that Felix and Chan were basically friends since the beginning of time, and no, he wouldn't even dream about trying to break them apart but- who could Changbin even blame?? Chan basically said that if the world was _normal_ —if there were no such things as soulmates, he wanted to— _No!_

And no, Felix just wasn't an item he could call dibs on. No one was. So he felt a little guilty that a small selfish part of him wanted to—

"We lost," Chan sighs, lowering the plastic gun and yanking Changbin out of his thoughts. He had stopped shooting for a while and apologized to the older for zoning out. But Chan just laughs, waves it off, and gestured to where Hyunjin and Seungmin were. The duo was where Chan and Changbin last left them: by the claw machine, jumping and yelling and exclaiming.

At least the two were having much more fun instead of the awkward melancholy that settled between Chan and Changbin.

"They're getting off well," Chan hums, shoving his hands in his jacket pockets and smiling. "Y'know, Felix told me about Hyunjin. He could see color, but when he was a kid, he lost his soulmate because they were young and stupid."

Changbin immediately perked up at the news, whipping his head toward the Australian with neck jutted and eyebrows arched to see if he had heard right.

No way—It couldn't be, right?? That little hunch Seungmin had earlier was nothing more than that, right?? But everything just fit so well: the backstory, the coincidental meeting, their mutual understanding. Surely, this was all ripped from a morning drama episode synopsis.

Changbin shouldn't jump to conclusions! He knows how far _that's_ got him.

But they just click so _well!_ Even better than Changbin and Seungmin had, even after years of knowing each other!

"Great news, everyone!" Hyunjin yells from where they stood, holding up a squirrel plushie triumphantly, running toward Changbin and Chan with Seungmin right behind him.

"Seungmin agreed to pay for our drinks!"


	18. | Iridescent White |

“I hope you get run over!”

“Maybe it’ll be better than standing next to you!”

“Why am I even stuck with _you_!”

Yes, why _are_ they stuck to each other? Less so Minho to Jisung or vice versa, but more of Jeongin and Felix _to_ Minho and Jisung.

 _Why_ did they end up with tweedle dumb and tweedle dumber? Well— _no one_ wanted to be stuck with those two, Felix and Jeongin only drew the short end of the stick. Besides, they’d be the only ones who could _probably_ stand the duo for over five minutes without pushing one of them into the road.

But alas, such thoughts couldn’t be _completely_ diminished.

Jeongin and Felix quietly conversed about leaving the two to their own devices. Felix almost agreed. If he didn’t worry that the two might end up on the news tonight for disrupting the public.

Thankfully, time seemed to fly by fast. Jisung, despite his arguments with Minho, continued to make the group’s time together, fun.

Instead of dwelling in the quarrels or indulging Minho in their bickering, Jisung focused more on their overall group. While neither of them went out of their way to actively harass the other, they at least attempted to stay out of each other’s way. Minho stayed by Jeongin and Jisung by Felix, the squirrelly rapper passive-aggressively hugging the freckled Australian close to him.

Until around sunset, when the four were merely walking down the street. Jisung, being the advocate for music, wanted to go out to see buskers about the bright city. Felix and Jeongin agreed. Watching busking performances was always a treat, and who knows, maybe they’ll be able to recognize a popular song or two. Besides, Felix has never really experienced much of Korea’s youth culture and bustling nightlife, and Jisung thought watching people busk would introduce such things to the freckled Australian.

And for a long while, Felix thought that the rest of the night would go smoothly. Watching numerous people busk was entertaining, the street food smelled good and despite it being a little colder in the night than it was during their picnic earlier in the day, no one seemed to be bothered by the chill at all. Minho even treated the group out to ice cream, being their chaperone and all.

The best part? Not one argument erupted between Minho and Jisung or Jisung and Minho. The night was peaceful, fun, bright. Even much brighter than the day, actually. It reminded him of the day Changbin took him out to Cheonggyecheon. While he couldn’t see the colors and even take in any of its full glory, he was sure the nightlife here was as, maybe more, vibrant than Cheonggyecheon with Changbin. And even if Changbin was no Han Jisung or Lee Minho or Yang Jeongin, he couldn’t help but reminisce of the peaceful enjoyment he had with the older. Enjoyment that he couldn’t find anywhere else.

Not that he’s dismissing the fun that he’s having with Jisung, Minho, and Jeongin now!

He’s just—what if Changbin asks him to hang out again soon? 

“Lix, yah,” Jisung hums, the freckled Australian turning his head to glance at the squirrelly man hugging him from behind, his chin on the taller’s shoulder and swaying them side to side along to the song. “I saw how you were looking at Changbin.”

“Why, am I that easy to read?” Felix huffs out an amused laugh, nodding along to the melody a woman sang to, enjoying the pretty hymns and the chords of the guitarist behind her.

“No, but it was kinda obvious,” Jisung frowns. “I mean, anyone can see it from a mile away. It’s a push and pull, you two.”

Felix reddens at that, feeling way too hot for winter in Korea. Was it really like that? It wasn’t like that, was it? Felix didn’t _mean_ to look so lost in Changbin’s eyes or feel so flustered in his presence. How every smile and every giggle from him sent the freckled Australian bumbling and— _No! Just no!_

And non-soulmates pining after each other were dangerous! There was no such thing about it, and if there was, surely, it would always end up in tragedy.

But, considering that Han _Jisung_ of all people noticed their mutual shyness—that must’ve meant that yes, it _was_ obvious to everyone but them.

Maybe inviting Changbin to this picnic was a bad idea. Damn Lee Felix for giving into Jisung’s suggestions so easily.

“So... when’s the wedding?” Felix immediately stuck his tongue out in disgust, unwrapping Jisung’s arms around him and nudging the older away. The older immediately frowns, scowling and pouting. “What? I’m only asking the obvious Lixie! I mean—you guys are basically the epitome of whipped—“

“I don’t even want you to finish that sentence,” the freckled Australian scoffs, yanking Jisung’s cap down over his eyes, the older bursting into a fit of giggles.

“Yah, Han Jisung, they aren’t soulmates,” Jeongin slaps the squirrelly man’s chest, gesturing to Felix. “Changbin hyung could see color, but Felix hyung can’t.”

“Ooh, conflict,” Jisung blinks his wide eyes, leaning toward the Australian. Felix pouts, trying to avoid the older's, gaze and feeling his face grow hotter. Why did he dress warmly for the weather when all of Jisung’s teasing would be enough to warm him up, anyway? “Wait—could I make this into a ballad?”

“Han Jisung,” Minho scoffs, knitting his brows together and gesturing to the squirrelly man. “Why don’t you focus on your own love life instead of butting into others’. And not everything’s song material, dipshit.”

“How would you even know?” Jisung retaliates. Oh no, here they go, again. “Your creativity basically pars a rock.”

“I don’t care about your bullshit creativity or whatever the fuck! But not anything and everything is your material for your shitty songs—“

“Yah!” Jisung exclaims, sputtering, his hands trying to play with the edge of his cap. “If you think you could just make fun of my passion!”

“You wanna get out of here?” Jeongin sighs, running a hand through his hair and gesturing to the two idiots behind them.

“Sure,” Felix links his arm with Jeongin, the two already walking away. Honestly, Felix was enjoying the night too much to have it ruined by Lee Minho and Han Jisung. Finally, there were a few seconds of peaceful silence.

Before they heard Jisung yelling behind them and people gasping.

“You asshole!” Felix and Jeongin immediately run back to the crowd, excusing themselves between bystanders, bowing in apology at their friends’ idiocy, and their embarrassment for handling such children.

And there it was. Honestly, both Jeongin and Felix kind of expected it to happen _sometime_ today. It was a constant push and pull, mocking, teasing—they were only surprised that it happened this late.

Yes, Jisung really punched Minho. 

Of course, it wasn’t a complete strike to the cheek. Luckily, the older leaned back and Jisung’s fist merely “grazed” his jaw (a mark still bloomed at the hit, though). And now, they were on the ground, Jisung on top of Minho, the older trying to push him off.

And _this_ is why Jisung insisted that Minho shouldn’t go. Felix loved Jisung, but didn’t really like to listen to his stupid philosophies or unreasoned reasoning. But—well—Felix _should’ve_ listened to Jisung just this once!

“Yah! Yah! Yah! Jisung hyung! Minho hyung!” Jeongin was on them in seconds, prying the squirrelly man off of the older. Luckily, Minho had an eighth of a brain more than Jisung and didn’t push the matter any further, only picking himself off the ground and rubbing the spot the younger had punched him. They both glare at each other, eyes narrowed, bitter scowls on the tip of their tongue. They didn’t even consider the disturbance they just caused in the middle of the street! Despite the murmuring, the avoiding glances, the _“let’s-quickly-get-out-of-here”s._

God, the second-hand embarrassment was too real for Felix to handle!

“Sorry, sorry—we’re sorry,” Felix bows and flashes a flustered smile to the crowd, helping Jeongin lead Minho and Jisung away. Felix knows that he didn’t start any of this, but God, he doesn’t think the embarrassment of it all would ever die down!

“Okay, the hell is wrong with you two?!” Felix exclaims, Jisung ripping his arm away from Jeongin and pointing a threatening finger at Minho, who rolled his eyes once they finally found a _much_ quieter place to lie low. They were at a park just across the street, trying to avoid the couples and friends that walked by the path.

“He started it!”

“Jesus Christ, what are you guys? Three??” Jeongin runs a frustrated hand through his hair, falling to a nearby bench with a long sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Lee Minho, do you know _when_ to fucking stop?!” Jisung barks, blinking furiously. Felix had never seen Jisung this angry before. Usually, the squirrelly man would take a back-seat, allowing whatever problem to just come and go without another say. _“Go with the flow,”_ he would say. But right now—right now he looked like he was about to explode.

“Yah—Han Jisung, how big is your ego for you to...” Minho blinks, trailing off. He glances around, Jisung jutting his neck forward with eyebrows raised, expecting the insult that died in the older’s throat. The older’s eyes widened, his hands finally leaving their comfort in his jacket pockets and gesturing to Jisung with a hesitant point.

“What is it?!” The younger groans in frustration. Felix swears that if Minho kept aggravating him, the younger wouldn’t be able to sing the following days. “Are you going to say something stupid about my music again?! What if I talk shit about your dancing? Huh?? Yah! Lee Minho!”

“You—You’re—“ The words died in Minho’s throat, thoughts in another dimension, and _clearly_ completely forgot about their argument at hand.

“Aish! I don’t have time for this!” Jisung pulled off his cap, gripping it tightly and running a hand through his hair. Though before he could pull it back on, Minho grabs his wrist, staring at the younger with knitted eyebrows.

“Oh, no.” Was the only thing that falls from the older’s lips. Then he separates himself from the younger and pulls at his hair, gritting his teeth and screwing his eyes shut. He crouches to the floor with a sigh, his coat dragging across the concrete as he shakes his head.

“Hyung, what’s wrong?” Jeongin asks, brows furrowed and concerned for his roommate. Jisung, his anger slowly dissipating, tilted his head to the side in confusion. A moment—two—three; eight passed. Until his eyes widened and gasped, pointing a frantic finger at the older. He opens his mouth, but no words come out, shock filling his body and—well, all he could do was spout in anger, throwing his hat to the floor and almost storming off if it hadn’t been for Felix grabbing his arm and rubbing his back.

“Sung, what’s wrong?” the freckled Australian softly asks, Jisung pointing at Minho. His eyes were comically wide, brows furrowed—he looked like he was teetering on the edge of tears, frustration, and stress clear on his face and shoulders.

“Fuck him! No! No way—Fuck Lee Minho!” 

**\---**

“So... This is pretty good,” Jeongin clears his throat, bouncing lightly from where he sat next to Felix, gesturing to the steaming taiyaki between his fingers. Felix smiles at him, nodding to Minho and Jisung who sat across them. The two turned away from each other, glaring at something obscure from either direction. Minho leans on the table with crossed arms, Jisung bitterly picking at the chocolate-filled taiyaki Felix bought for all of them.

Before the two could get into _another_ fight (albeit that one would be more about denial than anything), Jeongin and Felix decided that they _all_ needed a breather. Luckily, there was a taiyaki stand nearby, allowing a safe spot for the group (mostly Minho and Jisung) to cool off, gather their thoughts, and such. Felix texted Chan about their new meeting spot. They arranged for the group to meet somewhere at a bar, but now with this issue at hand... well, it’d be wiser to wait for them here.

But for once, not a word passed between the two. Not even an audible breath, and it was up to the two youngest to provide any background noise to keep the atmosphere from taking an even deeper nose-dive.

“Should we call... Chan again?” Jeongin frowns, Felix turning to him with furrowed browns and a shrug. “I mean, I just hope they’re having—“

“I don’t fucking get this!” Minho exclaims, hand slamming on the table and whipping his body toward the squirrelly man. “Why does it have to be _you_ of all people?!”

“I don’t know, maybe God has a good sense of humor,” Jisung sneers, taking a bite of his taiyaki before frowning.

“First, your hair. What the fuck.”

“What’s wrong with my hair??” Jisung defends, shooting a glare at the older. Minho opens his mouth to explain but fails, sputtering and throwing confused gestures toward the younger. Right, none of them could actually _name_ colors, could they?

“Hyung,” Felix clears his throat, pulling out his watercolor palette and settling it on the table, pointing to the pans of paint with the labels above them. “Maybe this could help.”

The older furrows his eyebrows, taking a moment to absorb all the vibrancy his eyes laid on before taking a breath and saying, “Blue, purple, pink, green—“

“What the hell is wrong with you? Hyunjin dyed it blonde!” Jisung rubs his forehead, growling and taking another bite of his taiyaki. “Also, can we sit somewhere else? It’s so fucking bright!”

“Hyung it’s...“ Jeongin trails off, gesturing to the _one_ streetlight that was a mere meter away from them. “It’s night...”

“Here, look,” Minho mumbles, pulling out his phone and turning on the camera. When Jisung saw himself, he jumped back and gasped, almost dropping his taiyaki. While Felix couldn’t see anything but gray, the way Jisung pulled his hair and almost _shrieked_ was enough of a sign that, no, his hair wasn’t normal.

“The person I trusted... Just…“ Jisung slouches onto the table, burying his face in his arms. It sounded like a sob just pushed past his lips, but Felix was sure the squirrelly man was only being overdramatic. “This is the worst day ever. Kill me now.”

“You can say that again,” Minho hums, finally taking a bite out of his taiyaki.

“Look, at least you guys finally agreed on something,” Felix points out with a laugh. Though when Minho and Jisung shoot him a glare, he clears his throat, eyes lowering and shrugging. “Sorry...”

“Okay, so you guys are soulmates,” Jeongin says, Jisung gagging at the mere mention of the word. Being _soulmates_. With _Lee Minho_?? Felix couldn’t believe it either. “How do we know you’re not lying?”

“Innie, do you _think_ we’re lying?” Minho huffs, Jeongin gesturing to the older’s hair.

“Okay, Jisung hyung, what color is his hair?”

Jisung, in the middle of chewing with stuffed cheeks, points at a color on Felix’s watercolor palette. Cadmium orange. 

“Holy shit—“ Jeongin covers his mouth. Honestly, everyone was just as shocked at the news. Felix only wonders how the others would react to such _absurdity._ When Jisung finishes his taiyaki, he stares wide-eyed at Felix, pleading and sparkly. And who would Felix be to say no to Han Jisung, anyway?

“Fatass,” Minho scoffs when the younger takes the Australian's untouched taiyaki with a cheerful noise in the back of his throat and a light bounce.

“Shut the hell up, I’m _really_ craving sweets right now,” Jisung waves off the insult, smiling and humming warmly that Minho gags at. Though when he finished his own snack, his eyes met Jeongin, clearing his throat and folding the paper that the fish-shaped treat came in and placing it gently on the table. He eyes Jeongin again, then the bitten taiyaki between the fox-eyed man’s fingers—then back at Jeongin.

“Uhm... Here you go, hyung,” Jeongin hesitantly slides the treat to Minho, the older bowing sheepishly in thanks and clearing his throat again with lips pressed into a thin line.

“I’m supposed to be on a diet,” Minho fakes a sob, sighing sadly as he unwraps the taiyaki fully. “My dance teacher is going to kill me.”

“Yah, Lixie,” Jisung perks up, cheeks rounded as he chews on the treat. He gestures to the freckled Australian with the fish-shaped treat, nodding and humming. “Why don’t we trade? I’d rather smooch Changbin than Minho.”

“What do you mean? I’m more kissable than you,” Minho scoffs. Felix was growing crazy, wasn’t he? _No way_ , this was all real?? _Minho_ and _Jisung_? _Jisung_ and _Minho_?? Talking about _kissing??_

Honestly, pineapple on goddamn pizza is a better combination than those two. But he would never say that out loud. He didn’t want to start any controversies.

“Why don’t you—actually…“ Jisung turns to Minho, swallowing and rolling his eyes. “No. Don’t try to prove it to me.”

“I don’t even want to think about kissing you, Han Jisung.”

“Look guys, I don’t think you can escape each other now, can you?” Felix frowns, Minho choking on his snack. He hits his chest, coughing and hacking before furrowing his eyebrows. “I mean, before you guys didn’t know so you could basically avoid each other. But it kind of... _has_ to be, right?”

“But- but—“ Jisung whines. “Why _him?!_ We’re basically the most dysfunctional couple ever! I thought soulmates were supposed to be each other’s halves.”

“Well…“ Jeongin shrugs, turning to Felix for help. But what would Felix even know?? He couldn’t even solve his own personal problems about his confusing mess of a love-life— _if_ it could even be _called_ a love life. He was the _last_ person to consult about soulmates! “You guys’ll figure it out, right??”

“Is dropping a soulmate a thing?” Minho asks, Jisung whipping his head toward the older in offense. “Could I give up a soulmate for adoption or something?”

“Ah, so you’re saying you don’t like me?! If we’re going to be stuck together for life, you should at least improve your attitude!”

“Dumbass, you don’t like me either! That’s enough of a start—it’s a mutual agreement!”

“Oh my God!” Jeongin pulls at his hair, turning to Felix with wide-eyes. “I’m tired of taking care of _children_!”

Felix has never agreed with someone more. While he has a lot of hope for the new couple, he also feared that one of them (or both of them) would do something beyond stupid. But maybe they could find a way to set aside their differences. Felix knows how soft and bubbly Jisung could be with people he was comfortable with. Just look at him with Hyunjin and Felix. And the Australian was certain that, with enough time (and coaxing. Maybe coercing if need be) Jisung would allow Minho to enter his personal bubble.

Gosh, Felix couldn’t even _imagine_ what would happen if Changbin was this difficult. Felix was a patient person, and he tried to fit in with all kinds of people. However, if their relationship was as strained as Minho and Jisung’s—well—surely, all this _pining_ and shy glances wouldn’t even be a thing. It wasn’t in Minho and Jisung’s, so why would it even be in Changbin and Felix’s. Crazy part was, _they_ were soulmates. Felix and Changbin weren’t.

Imagine if they _were_? What would happen?

Well, Changbin was a nice guy. He knows how to listen well, and Felix could get lost just talking and unwinding to the older. He just felt so comfortable around, despite the flustered looks and the hesitant words. All the initial awkwardness fades and is eventually replaced by a mutual friendliness that Felix more than welcomes.

So... if they were soulmates... Felix wouldn’t mind. Not at all. Despite only knowing each other a little over two weeks and a half.

“Yah! There you guys are!” The group perks up at the sound of Hyunjin calling out for them, noticing the four other boys walking toward them ways away. Jisung crossed his arms, laying against the table with a pout once the group stood by the table.

“Yah. What’s wrong with you?“ Hyunjin pokes Jisung’s cheek, the younger slapping his hand away with a hiss.

“You asshole, you said you dyed my hair blonde!” Jisung barks, Hyunjin pulling off Jisung’s hat and gesturing to the wavy locks with a smile. 

“I did,” the taller shrugs. “With _other_ colors.”

While Hyunjin tried to appease Jisung with a squirrel plushie, Felix glanced over to the familiar man standing right beside Hyunjin, murmuring something to Seungmin while Chan inquired information from Jeongin.

Speak of the devil, and he shall appear—was that the saying?

Well, everyone basically thought they were soulmates. Did they really act like that? Or was it just friendliness taken the wrong way? Chan says that Felix could be a little too friendly toward strangers, pushing them to become uncomfortable at times.

But well—Changbin welcomed that friendliness, too! So it wasn’t all Felix’s fault when the said man also indulged in his antics. It was just- Seo Changbin was too irresistible, right?

There was just that constant magnetic pull that continued to bring Felix closer and closer. It wasn’t that comfortable, slow-paced, careful nudge he had with Chan or that always upbeat, yanking he had with Jisung.

It was somewhere in between—a nudge, a pull, a leading on.

Kind of like the situation with Goldilocks- where his time with Changbin felt just right, and Felix didn’t want to let go of it so soon. But then again, the situation with Seo Changbin can’t be contained into one meaning. Everything was just so confusing, so overwhelming at times. But Felix liked it.

He wanted Changbin to continue nudging, pulling and yanking Felix. He hoped that even after Felix returns to Australia; they continue to talk and be— _friends_.

And they don’t have to be soulmates. No. They don’t have to be destined to know each other or talk or be friends.

Felix wanted that domestic comfortableness. He didn’t yearn to see color or feel unending love.

Just the friendship that Changbin was willing to give.


	19. | Rose Dore |

Luckily, Jeongin was old enough to drink alcohol.

Because _right_ after entering the bar, he asked for three bottles of beer and a sandwich before resting his head against Chan’s shoulder with a loud huff.

He had _no_ idea what happened between Minho, Jisung, Jeongin, and Felix, but after they found the four sitting by their lonesome in the park, they couldn’t even glance at each other. And even when Minho and Jisung sat beside each other at the bar— _no arguments_. Not even a tiny insult. Not an irritating huff or a passive-aggressive glance.

Of course, they joined in the numerous conversations and jokes, but when either Minho or Jisung spoke up, the other stayed silent.

Changbin heard Chan asking Jeongin about it, but the youngest would only down another shot with a frustrated sigh, eating his sandwich sadly.

Whatever happened, at least Changbin and Chan are on _somewhat_ better terms now. Like Minho and Jisung (though theirs were much more outward spoken than Chan and Changbin’s), there were no more passive-aggressive glances or scoffs or _whatever_ even happened between them. Honestly, Changbin didn’t know why they started off on the wrong foot. But maybe conversing about Felix patched up that unreasoned divide between them.

 _Besides_ , the night was young, Minho and Jisung weren’t fighting, they were all getting along—Fairly, Changbin didn’t want to ruin the mood by taking it up with Chan.

Though Changbin noticed that Felix was missing three rounds later. At first, he didn’t mind. The freckled Australian might’ve excused himself or needed to take a phone call. And while Minho and Jisung were passed out suddenly in the corner of their booth (the group of boys all took turns taking hilarious pictures with and of the pair, trying to poke or have bets on who could take it far enough without waking Minho).

While the rest of the group was trying to make Jisung sneeze or trying to put ice cream in his mouth while he slept against Minho’s shoulder, Changbin slipped out from their table, telling Seungmin he needed some fresh air as the younger handed him a hand warmer. Though in reality, he was only looking for the freckled Australian.

Who knows? Maybe Felix got kidnapped or passed out cold by the gutter.

Though when he walked out, met by the chilly kisses of winter, he notices the Australian across from the bar, standing on the other side of the street with his nose pointed at his sketchbook and painting something obscure that Changbin couldn’t exactly know.

At first, Changbin was about to return to the group—Felix would survive on his own. But his curiosity poked at the back of his neck. And before he knew it, his legs already made their way across the road (it was a miracle he didn’t get hit by a car on the way). 

“You’ve been missing awhile.”

Felix almost shrieks at the sound of Changbin’s voice, perking up and fumbling with his paints. He drops his small, metal container of water, the two staring at each other, then down at the metal container, the splatter of water on the concrete. Felix slowly lowers his sketchbook and brush, his lips parting and blinking furiously at Changbin.

“I’m—“

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” The shorter bows furiously, scrambling to pick up the container and handing it to Felix with a frantic bow. “I’m so sorry!”

“Oh no, hyung, I wouldn’t cry over spilled milk,” Felix laughs breathily, before bowing in thanks as he takes the container. “Or… water, in this case.” He sighs, shutting his palate and sketchbook before returning them into his bag. “Why are you here?”

“Oh, well—you disappeared for a long while, so...”

“Was Chan looking for me?” Felix perks up, eyes wide, and a frown on his lips. And by the way the streetlight shone down on him, the beautiful lights that dotted the city in embedded gems behind Felix, the chocolate browns that were on him—Oh shit, Changbin needed to remind himself the steps to breathing. 

“No, no, no—“ Changbin clears his throat, raising his shoulders and pressing his lips into a thin line with a nod. “I was just wondering where you ran off to.”

“Ah,” Felix laughs breathlessly, closing his bag and adjusting the strap on his shoulder, gesturing back toward the bar. “I wanted to paint the bar and the street for my project. Sorry, did I worry you?”

Gosh, how should he answer this? Yes, he worried Changbin. He worried how fast he could disappear and how fast he could appear, almost like an angel that came as his guide. He worried how quickly they grew comfortable toward each other—so quickly that it _should’ve_ been uncomfortable. But it wasn’t uncomfortable. Not one bit, but it worried Changbin that it would become so any moment. That whatever stupid bullshit he’ll spew would suddenly offend the freckled Australian. And he worried that he might fall in love with the man, that he’ll ruin everything. That he’ll give into his selfishness and spit at the face of fate. Which was never a good thing when it came to soulmates.

“No,” Changbin hums, laughing. “Just curious. “

“Well, I was just about done, anyway. Should we go back?”

“No, I was thinking...” To show him the world of color—or to indulge him as much as he could, anyway. To embrace him? To just talk—about what? Nothing. Endless conversations that had no real meaning, just to spend time with Felix.

He pulls a hand out of the warm confines of his pocket, gesturing around the city.

“Would you like to get out of here?”

Felix smiles at that. And Changbin had to keep himself from passing out.

“Right now?” Felix hums, tapping his chin and puffing his cheeks. And even though the Australian acted as if he was giving the suggestion a good, long mull over, Changbin couldn’t help but hold his breath. “What would the others think?”

“They’ll live without us,” Changbin waves dismissively, Felix laughing at that.

“Where will we go?”

“Anywhere.” Anywhere in the four corners of the earth, Changbin is sure. Anywhere, as long as Felix smiles and laughs and has the time of his life. “We can just walk or take the bus and see where we go.”

“Then let’s do just that,” Felix smiles, Changbin melting at the spot.

Did he just successfully talk to Felix without...? Yes, he did! Changbin finally developed from a boy into a man this very night. And he could finally talk to Lee Felix without a single stammer!

And not to mention, the damn _class_ he had while speaking too! Was he that irresistible? He guessed he was. Because he’s damn Seo fucking Changbin!

When Changbin noticed that Felix had already left him behind, the older halts his celebration momentarily to waddle after the freckled Australian. This wasn’t over just yet, he still had the _rest_ of the night to spend with Felix!

“Don’t you think they’d be mad at us?” Felix bubbles when he noticed Changbin catching up with him with a smile, the two walking down the street, the bright, beautiful city of Seoul all around them.

“Maybe.” Yeah, a part of Changbin felt bad for leaving all their friends at the bar like that. Especially Chan, who was probably waiting for the freckled Australian as much as Changbin was. But the devil at his shoulder (he wasn’t talking about Seungmin this time) wanted to spend time with Felix by himself. Especially after their hectic get-together earlier in the day. He could deal with consequences later. All he wanted was to admire Felix’s smile for himself, thank you very much. “As long as we text them that we’re gone, then I think we’re good.”

“Oh yeah,” Felix perks up, frantically pulling out his phone and texting Chan, assuring the older Australian that he was fine and wasn’t kidnapped by a serial killer. Though looking at Changbin... “Sorry if Chan seems a little rash. He just cares. A lot.”

“I know,” Changbin hums with a smile nudging the younger’s shoulder with his own. “I can tell he cares.”

“It’s not that I don’t like it!” Felix perks up, holding up his hand and shaking his head in defense. “I’m really grateful about Chan, and I love him, just—sometimes, I worry that he worries about others so much that he doesn’t think about himself.”

“What do you mean?” Changbin furrows his eyebrows, leaning over and catching the freckled Australian’s eyes.

“Well, you haven’t known Chan for a long time and I know you two don’t get along,” the freckled Australian narrows his eyes at Changbin, the latter sheepishly smiling, raising both his shoulders. But Felix laughs right after, not really offended by Changbin's or Chan’s antics. “But sometimes, I feel bad that he’s always taking care of me. Like, once he came home from work. I was drowning in art projects and homework at the time and he seemed really exhausted so I didn’t want to bother him. But he still checked up on me and cooked something, even though he looked like he was about to pass out.” Felix sighs, kicking a rock down the street, the pebble skidding off the concrete and onto the road. They stop at a crosswalk, Changbin eyeing the red hand that blinked across the street. “Times like those, I wish I could do something more. He just does so much for me and... _I don’t know..._ Am I doing enough?”

“Well—by the way Chan looks at you...” Changbin hums, Felix glancing at him with bright, wide eyes. “I’m sure everything you’re doing for Chan now is enough for him.”

Felix smiles at that, staring a moment longer at the shorter before perking up, gesturing to the pedestrian stoplight, the two scampering along the white lines before it counted to zero.

As discussed earlier, the two went along with their impromptu adventure: walking down the street aimlessly, side by side. The cold nipped at their noses, their breaths came out in puffs of clouds that danced in front of their faces as they succumbed to their own coats. But the mere presence of the other kept them from worrying too much about the cold.

At one point, Changbin noticed that Felix shuddered in the weather, and—at the time he scolded himself for being so stupid again. His impulsiveness just won over him. That, after gaining all that _class_ , he’s only returning to his old ways of dumbassery.

But when Changbin held Felix’s hand and pulled it into his coat pocket to share the _one_ hand warmer he had (he should thank Seungmin for it later, actually), he might as well par with Einstein! One of his ideas worked! And Felix only smiled and hummed and—God, Changbin didn’t even know if he’ll survive the rest of the night.

Though they didn’t get very far, instead, settling in a park just down the street from the bar. Even though their bodies longed for the mild exercise that kept themselves warm, Felix insisted that they sit at the park, for he found a pleasant spot under a streetlight that captured a glimpse of Seoul’s simplicity.

And Changbin couldn’t deny him. He never can. Though whereas he begrudgingly trudged behind and is yanked by Seungmin’s wishes. With Felix, it was the complete opposite. He willingly allowed himself to be pulled, he gladly skipped behind the younger, he sometimes even took the lead. Maybe it was some kind of magnetic pull that urged the older to do such things. But then again, Changbin would literally follow anyone _but_ Seungmin.

Even so, Changbin still enjoyed the quietness, the peace that hugged them both.

It was quite a contrast to the bar and their group of friends. Changbin was all for the fun and the noisy banter. But sometimes, he’d rather indulge in the insignificant moments. Moments like these—just sitting beside Felix as he painted and hummed, hands still interlocked in Changbin’s coat pocket while the other held and danced with the paintbrush. Just the comfortable silence that embraced them both.

Honestly, Changbin could live forever with just this: the feeling of a hand on his, feeling that someone else—Lee Felix was there. But hey, a boy can dream, right? 

“Oh, you know,” Felix says, Changbin humming to let Felix continue. “Minho hyung found his soulmate.”

“Really? Is that why he seemed so bitchy earlier?” Changbin questions, eyeing the subject that Felix painted: a single streetlight across from where they sat, lighting up a small part of the park, the different lights of Seoul behind it. “Who is it, anyway? Do you know?”

“Jisung.”

A beat of silence. _Two_ beats of silence.

When Changbin turns to Felix, the younger turns his head as well, eyes into thin crescents and lips into a thin smile, tilting his head down and eyebrows arched.

“Ex-excuse me??” Changing sputters, the two bursting into endless laughter, almost spilling the container of water again if it hadn’t been for Felix calming down the older. “Is that why they were passed out together at the bar?”

“Yeah!” Felix exclaims, a bright smile on his face. “I’m kind of happy for them, though. But with the way those two are...”

“Oh, I get you,” Changbin hums, returning the smile. “Minho hyung is a little too much sometimes. But then again, he’s a clingy motherfucker once you get to know him.”

“I mean he seems nice, I don’t get why Jisung doesn’t like him!” Felix sighs, patting away excess watercolor from his paper, cleaning his brush right after.

“That’s just how Jisung is,” Changbin shrugs, pulling Felix closer, hand tightening around the younger’s in his coat pocket. “ _I_ even got into fights with him when I first met him. He gets into fights with everyone he meets.”

“Ah, he told you two rapped together,” Felix laughs, Changbin’s cheeks growing warmer by the second. And even when Han Jisung wasn’t with them, he still _somehow_ embarrassed Changbin. “Why d’you stop, anyway? Jisung said you were good. Maybe even better than him.”

“Oh, you know,” The shorter sighs, staring down at where their hands lay. He opened his mouth to continue speaking only let out a choked— _whatever-the-fuck_ sound _that_ was when Felix laid his head on the older’s shoulder. This was a dream, wasn’t it? Was Changbin hallucinating?? Did he suddenly drink too much and is actually passed out at the foot of his bed?

“My- my parents thought that music was useless and to get a real job so...” _Somehow_ Changbin found his train of thought, ripping his eyes away from Felix and instead stared wide-eyed—glaring, almost, at the streetlight, trying to suppress the smile that threatened his lips. Was he _trying_ to blind himself?? This day was just full of miracles, wasn’t it? “I mean at first, I rebelled like any other teen. I loved music from the day I was born, right? But reality kinda settled in.”

Felix continued to paint, though hummed and nodded to show that he was listening.

“Y’know, I could’ve been something else. Like a doctor, or maybe a lawyer—hell, even a dancer.”

“So, why didn’t you?” Felix halts, lifting his head from the shorter’s shoulder and staring up at him with wide eyes. He stopped painting and instead, listening curiously to the older.

“Well, from the moment we’re born, all we see is black and white. And music...” Changbin turns his head, meeting the younger’s dark chocolates that were on him, glimmering and so, so bright—brighter than the lights in the city, the stars in the sky—the galaxy too. “And music was the closest to color I’ve ever gotten. So I could never let go of it completely. That’s why I’m trying to become an editor. Stories and books are like writing music, you know.”

And _that’s_ when Changbin noticed how closer their faces were. Felix’s chin was barely hovering over the older’s shoulder from where he previously lay. His flushed cheeks were on full display, so close to Changbin that he could practically count the freckles that dotted the soft skin and his small nose. How his pointy lips were into a slight pout, accentuating his sparkling eyes, his sharp eyebrows, his cheeks when he smiled.

He had completely stopped painting at that point, returning the stare the older had on him, his eyes filled with so much—so much that Changbin couldn’t decipher. But he still understood and listened and nodded when the younger blinks at him.

“Is it worth it to see color now? Does music and writing ever live up to it?” He questions, a mere murmur ghosting his lips.

“No, not at all. I don’t think anything can ever live up to meeting your soulmate.”

“Then... Do you think...” Felix's eyes flutter shut, barely moving before his lips pressed against Changbin’s. 

It was soft, and so, so warm—no wait, Changbin was on fucking _fire_ that he almost forgot they were in the heart of winter. That they aren’t in -6.4 degree weather, just sitting on a bench in some random park in the middle of Seoul. But they were, and Felix kissed him and—Jesus Christ, Changbin’s head was about to explode.

But he couldn’t move. The eyes of medusa—the sweet words of the succubus petrified him. He tried to move his free hand so he could touch Felix, but only kept still. He feared that even breathing would push the younger away.

And when Felix pulled away, Changbin kept his eyes shut.

He didn’t want to wake up from this dream, this _possibly_ drunken stupor he created in the depths of his mind. And in all honesty, he couldn’t accept it. Lee Felix kissing him, _hah!_ In his dreams! But this wasn’t a dream, was it? Oh God, Changbin hoped it wasn’t.

Cracking open an eye, Felix returned to painting, acting as if nothing had happened between the two. His face was a blazing red, the tips of his ears practically lava—the hand that still interlocked with Changbin’s on fire that it probably melted the hand warmer itself.

But everything just seemed a little brighter, the colors a lot more vibrant and saturated. It wasn’t a painful, blinding light like the hours following his initial contact, per se, but it was a comforting, beautiful view—or maybe he was just staring at Felix for such a long time.

“Oh, I’m done,” Felix squeaked out, his deep voice hoarse and cracking in embarrassment. He lifts up his sketchbook, showing the older the painting. Honestly, Changbin was just dumbfounded. So much so that he couldn’t even react to the painting. He could only sputter and stammer and he was so, so dizzy. He couldn’t focus on anything but Felix, the way he frowns, the way he knit his brows, and the way his freckles almost disappeared into the blush running rampant across his face.

But how could Felix just dismiss the situation so quickly?! They _kissed_ for crying out loud!

“Uhm... We should go home. The guys have probably left the bar by now,” the freckled Australian clears his throat, throwing out the water from its container into the grass behind them and cleaning everything up.

Though he kept his hand wrapped around Changbin’s never leaving the comfort of the coat pocket. Neither of them said anything about it, neither of them minded—and honestly, both of them probably forgot throughout this panicked, flustered mess they were both in.

Even so, Changbin offered to walk Felix home. Even if he _wished_ he could just throw himself in the middle of the road to escape this embarrassment, he remembered that he couldn’t _just_ leave Felix alone in the park. If this _was_ a date, he might as well end it like one, goddamn it!

But the walk was silent, the waiting for the bus to arrive was silent, the bus ride itself was silent. And no, it wasn’t the comfortable silence that Changbin welcomes and actively seeks. It was just so _damn_ embarrassing and awkward! He didn’t think _one_ kiss could ruin everything—and it wasn’t even him who took the first step!

 _Actually_ , what was he saying?? They shouldn’t even be taking steps _toward_ each other! They should’ve stayed where they were, maybe even taking a step or two back for good measure! And to think that Changbin had been restraining himself!

 _This_ is _exactly_ what he feared.

That their already questionable friendship just went up in flames because of something stupid.

“Don’t think about it too much, Felix.” Changbin was the first to remove his hand from Felix’s. The younger didn’t really look at him and continued to stare out the bus window, nodding and pressing his lips into a thin smile as his hand tentatively left the confines of Changbin’s pocket. “I really didn’t mind, seriously.”

“I- I’m sorry... That was so impulsive of me,” Felix murmurs, Changbin nudging his shoulder. The shorter smiled small at him, reaching back and ruffling the back of the freckled Australian’s hair in a quiet reassurance.

And Changbin decided that—to hell with soulmates! So _what_ if they were soulmates or not??? If it meant making Felix comfortable—if it meant making this awkwardness disappear, to return to being friends then so be it! He just didn’t want it to be awkward between them, he didn’t want it to be strained or unnatural or forced.

He decided that seeing Felix smile and laugh and feel so _alive_ was better than this selfish fantasy about soulmates. 

And not that Changbin didn’t immediately miss Felix’s hand wrapped around his, or the fleeting butterflies he felt when Felix kissed him. He just valued their developing friendship more than the thought of soulmates.

At least when they walked toward Chan’s house, Felix smiled at Changbin, though weak and shy, thankful too.

Changbin held his hand then, to assure the younger that nothing he did could offend Changbin. And because it was comforting to hold the freckled Australian’s small hand.

They walked in silence down the empty, darkened streets. Unlike the bustling nightlife of Seoul, Chan lived in a quiet neighborhood. Where not even the rowdy dogs would bark, and everyone knew each other. Where the peace was much preferred than the hustle of the city, but in no way did it make it _boring_.

It was a street that fit Felix so well. Quiet, peaceful, though with a hidden childlike identity that made it so inviting and warm to everyone.

When they neared Chan’s house, they noticed a car at the front, presumably belonging to Jisung. Felix stopped holding Changbin’s hand then. For the better, anyway. Changbin will never hear the end of it if anyone saw them that close.

“Wow...” Jisung sighs at the two when they walked near enough. His eyes were droopy and tired, arms on the car’s window sill with his chin resting upon them. He pouted drowsily at the pair and for a moment Changbin thought he’d be handling drunken babble coming from the squirrelly man. But upon further inspection, he wasn’t drunk—not even tipsy or buzzed. He just wanted to sleep. “Can I have a relationship like yours?”

“I’m _right_ here.” Jisung yelped when Minho jabbed his back, the younger too tired to even fight back. He only sighs, frowning.

“Exactly...” He mutters.

Geez, Jisung’s _“Soulmate symptoms”_ were worse than Changbin could ever imagine. He remembered when he also passed out a few hours after seeing color—across Seungmin’s lap too. Changbin was only surprised Jisung is _still_ tired after sleeping through most of their time at the bar.

Changbin turns, noticing that Felix had already left him, and ran up to Chan as the latter unlocked the gate to his parents’ house. And when they smiled at each other—Changbin could never par with that, could he?

Even if he wanted to be friends with the freckled Australian, there was someone who was much deserving of him more than Changbin, someone who’s waited and waited. Who would never leave the younger, would he? Someone who could take care of Felix so much better than Changbin ever could.

“Seo Changbin!” Hyunjin calls from the driver’s seat, unlocking the doors, and gesturing for Jisung to scoot over. When the squirrelly man didn’t move (possibly passed out again) Minho had to grab him by the waist and drape him over himself, creating enough space for Changbin to enter. “Get in. I’ll drive y’all home.”

And there they went. Without another glance at Changbin, without another word, another thought, Felix linked his arm with Chan’s, entering the quaint home fit for both of them.


	20. | Lamp Black |

“Do you like... Changbin?”

It wasn’t as smooth as Felix was used to. It was a stutter, a stammer—an unsure question.

The hand that held his chopsticks faltered and weakly tapped against the plate. When Felix gathered enough courage to glance up at him, his eyes were on the tonkatsu that lay untouched on his platter, a frown on his lips.

“Well, of course. He’s fun to hang around,” Felix clears his throat, Chan ripping his eyes away from their food and staring at the freckled Australian, eyes wide and with—with something Felix couldn’t read, couldn’t decipher. And it worried him.

Did he do something wrong?

“No, no, I mean—“ Chan holds out a hand, making an obscure gesture as Felix chewed on his food. “ _Like,_ like. Y’know, as a... Do you like him _that_ way?”

Felix immediately chokes on his food, coughing and hacking as he scrambled for his water. Chan reaches over to pat his back worryingly, brows knitted together.

After calming themselves, Felix takes another sip of his water before staring at Chan. He had an obvious answer. It’s the same answer he’s always said to each of Changbin’s advances. It was an answer a _sane_ person wouldn’t even think twice about.

But when he opened his mouth to respond, nothing came out. Nothing but a pathetic choked noise in the back of his throat that Chan arches an eyebrow at.

Why couldn’t he _just_ say _‘no’?_

Felix admits that kissing Changbin was _such_ a horrible idea. It was probably the worst idea he’s ever come up with, and that’s saying a lot!

He regretted every decision he made that day. He regretted kissing Changbin; he regretted holding his hand—even enjoying it the tiniest bit. He regretted leaving the bar— _Chan._ He even regretting inviting Changbin to their picnic in the first place.

And _why_ did he feel so bad? Was it because he just kissed an already taken man, someone who already had a soulmate. But because of Felix’s unbridled impulses, thought that no harm would ever come from a small peck of the lips. Was it because he was outright _lying_ to Chan’s face about being fine? Being that it clearly _isn’t_ fine, not at all. It bothered Felix enough to hurt, but he _just_ couldn’t look Chan in the eye and say, “ _I kissed Changbin the other day.”_

Not that the kiss was on purpose, anyway! Felix, just... It was sudden. So sudden—they were just too close that even a breeze could knock Felix over. So close that he didn’t have control over his own body.

And look where that landed him! He made it awkward with Changbin, and it just hurts _so much_. It’s so embarrassing, so shameless, and such that he couldn’t even breathe in the same space as the older.

“Hyung, how can I like someone like that when they aren’t even my soulmate,” Felix sighs, leaning on his elbows. Why is he lying through his damn teeth right now? He couldn’t even back up his own words. And the look Chan gave him when he said that—he glances away, clearing his throat and picking at the tonkatsu that lay idly on his plate. If Felix couldn’t believe his own words, how could Chan? “Plus, that always ends in tragedy, doesn’t it? Romeo and Juliet, Cathy and Heathcliff—You name it.”

“Well—I just thought...” Chan murmurs, voice so small that Felix wondered if this was even Chan. He shakes his head, giving the younger a reassuring smile. But the latter doubted the sincerity of it. “You’re right. That was stupid of me to ask.”

No, it wasn’t stupid of Chan to ask. In all honesty, he had a right to ask! If Felix couldn’t even ask himself, _someone_ had to do it.

And that reassurance only strengthened his answer.

He couldn’t like Changbin. There was just no way. First (and most of all), they weren’t soulmates. Second, if they _do_ end up together, it’d only end in tragedy and pain. And if Felix was smart enough, he’d keep his distance for both of their sakes, not just his. 

_**—-** _

“I’m so fucking tired of him!” Jisung exclaimed, sighing in frustration as he passive-aggressively returns a small glass sculpture back to the shelf. Harsh enough that Felix whines and sucks in a sharp breath, holding up his hands and fearing that the squirrelly man would break something.

The four went to Myeongdong for last-minute Christmas shopping (it was mostly for the sake of Jisung and Hyunjin who thought it’d be great to procrastinate on such an important event). However, Chan left them inside some antique store as he went to look for something for his parents (some expensive, handmade thing that Felix helped him pick out). Though, he should’ve just taken them with him. Without their chaperone, it was only a matter of time before the three of them would have to pay for breaking something.

“Sung, why don’t you just give him a chance?” Hyunjin sighs, tired of Jisung’s complaining as much as Felix was. Though, he was much more vocal about it. “I mean, at the bar, you guys were—“

“We were both passed out. Come on, Hyunjin, are you seriously taking his side??” Jisung furrows his eyebrows, whining and making frantic gestures to the older. “ _Actually_ , why should I be asking you? You dyed my hair every color _except_ blonde, for fuck’s sake!”

“It’s _mostly_ blonde,” Hyunjin corrects, the trio walking into another aisle of antiques. “Besides, it looks good, you look cute. I can’t believe it took so long for anyone to say something about it.”

“I’m never asking you to dye my hair again,” Jisung hisses, glaring at the traditional fans displayed on the shelves.

“Aww, Sungie, are you mad?” Hyunjin pouts, hugging the shorter from behind, to which he slaps his arms off. “Actually, you should be thanking me. Because of your hair, Minho realized that he could see color.”

“I can’t believe this!” Jisung exclaims, Felix shushing the older when a worker walked past their aisle to check all the commotion. Felix expected them to be kicked out in _about_ ten more seconds. “What can you see in Minho that _I_ can’t??”

Honestly, what did Jisung see in Minho that the rest of _them_ couldn’t see? Lee Minho was respectful, caring, funny—quiet, sure, but he got along with the people around him. Everyone _but_ Jisung, this oblivious bastard. And not that Minho was actively trying to pick a fight with anyone he runs across! Jisung was the only one edging him on, making the older snap back and retaliate, and—Geez, Felix now understood when Jeongin said he tired himself out by taking care of children.

“You’d have to figure that out for yourself, I can’t be your wingman all the time,” Hyunjin sneers, patting Jisung’s cheek to which the younger retaliated with a scowl.

But before Jisung could throw a wooden flute at the taller, Felix steps in between, holding back the squirrelly man.

“Hannie, Hannie, Hannie,” Felix says sweetly to calm the older, carefully retrieving the flute from his grasp and massaging his shoulders, then his arms. “I mean—why don’t you just... I don’t know... Give Minho hyung a chance? He may seem bad, but I don’t know. Maybe you guys could find something you both like?”

“See? At least Felix has a brain,” Hyunjin sticks his tongue out when Jisung frowns, knitting his brows together. “You guys are _soulmates_. One way or another, you’ll end up liking each other. Might as well embrace it, Sung.”

Jisung opens his mouth to retaliate, holding up his finger. Though he shuts it, pressing his lips together into a thin line before turning back to examine the antiques on the shelves.

Felix lets out a sigh at that, successfully calming the squirrelly man, almost a once in a lifetime thing. But he clearly held a grudge (or was deep in thought, _another_ one in a lifetime occurrence). He turned his back toward the two, sulking as they made their way through another aisle.

In a way, Felix could _almost_ understand where Jisung came from.

The man was a prophet of _“go with the flow.”_ He clearly had so many dreams, ambition radiating off of him. Just meeting a soulmate and making all of that come to a frustrating stop? Felix gets it. It’s understandable if _he_ couldn’t paint either. Just look at Felix’s post-Cheonggyecheon artist block!

It was frustrating to be held back from something he loved—something that made up his life and defined him. While his didn’t exactly come from a soulmate, it was still a comparable example to what _could_ be Jisung’s situation.

Yeah, the guy was arrogant, and meeting Minho was _probably_ the biggest wake-up call Jisung’s ever experienced. But either the squirrelly man sucks it up and tries to befriend Minho or be miserable and sulk for the rest of his life. It was his choice.

However, Felix felt bad. Jisung just _looked_ so damn miserable as they walked into another shop over (the trio got tired of waiting for Chan and explored Myeongdong by themselves—divide and conquer, if you will). He walked with his hands in his padded jacket, his (presumably) colorful hair falling over his eyes, staring at the concrete and kicking every pebble that stood in his way.

He looked like a lost child, really.

“Y’know,” the freckled Australian nudged Jisung’s shoulder lightly with his own, the latter glancing at him curiously with a frown. They enter an anime store Hyunjin almost ran into, the duo trudging behind. “Minho hyung likes cats. You can start with that.”

“I’m not even sure he’ll accept anything I give him,” Jisung scoffs.

“Just take the initiative,” Felix reassures him, patting his back and gesturing to the store. “Pick out something you think he’ll like. I’m pretty sure he’s not _that_ cruel.”

“You’d be surprised.”

“Just be nice to him for like three minutes,” Felix smiles at him, the older arching an eyebrow. “You don’t know, that can take you a long way.”

Felix wondered when he became such a soulmate guru, enough so that after hearing his words of wisdom, Jisung blinks multiple times, amazed by the younger’s enlightenment.

“Wah—You think so?” Jisung exclaims, Felix pressing his lips into a thin smile and a nod.

Maybe it was because he also had soulmate problems of his own. Or rather, the lack of a soulmate was driving him crazy. _Not_ because he longed and wished for his significant other (everyone had that dilemma). It was because a certain sharp-chinned man kept confusing the _hell_ out of him!

It wasn’t his fault he was stupid as hell and needed the older to be a _little_ more specific with his intentions. Actually—no, _no._ He shouldn’t blame either of them.

It was _fate’s_ damn fault! Either God has a fucked-up sense of humor or destiny really _was_ just full of bullshit. But neither of them had actively sought each other (Or at least Felix thinks. Unless Changbin had been stalking him without his knowing). It was just accidental encounter after accidental encounter that eventually brought them together. In all honesty, if they hadn’t been in that street market the same day, they would’ve never met! If Changbin didn’t get his groceries the same day Felix did, they probably wouldn’t even be friends by now!

And no, Felix didn’t despise Changbin or anything (if he did, he wouldn’t have kissed the older). It was quite the opposite, actually. This mutual liking and his confusion probably prompted him to do such a despicable act.

Their run-in in the street market, the meeting in the grocery store, that exchange in Namsan?? All coincidental.

Of course, Felix _may_ or _may not_ have invited Changbin to one or two things which prompted the older to pin after him—but that was only Felix’s friendliness coming into play! He wasn’t the type to avoid new friends! Not when they were cute and cool and the absolute meaning of dorky—

No...

This was _all_ Felix’s fault.

He was the one who recognized Changbin in the grocery store, the one who invited him to eat—twice. The one who called him over, the one who agreed to let him help the two Australians sight-see, the one who invited him to have a picnic. The one who _kissed_ him.

Felix kissed Seo Changbin. Not vice versa.

And he was also the one who ultimately ruined their blossoming friendship.

Changbin was cool. He was, despite Felix only knowing him for a short amount of time, was a really good friend. He could see it in the people he’s chosen to associate himself with.

And he was just so... comfortable. It was a sort of comfortable that Felix always appreciated. It wasn’t _quite_ home, more like a rest-stop. It was a sort of comfortable where after rushing and rushing and working and working all day long, he could go to at _any_ time. It was kind of a break that helped him get through the rest of the day.

And he’s ruined all that. They weren’t soulmates; he knew that.

But he’d be lying to say that there wasn’t a part of him that longed for the older. A part of him that beat himself up for losing such a potential friend.

“There you guys are!” Chan exclaims as he enters the shop, Hyunjin bounding over to the group with a smile and a cheery _“annyeong!”_ to Chan. Their chaperone smiled at him, before gesturing to Jisung, who was previously rummaging through a box of plushies. “Is he finally trying to befriend Minho?”

_Aha_! That was it!

Chan jumps out of his skin when Felix slaps his hands over his broad shoulders, eyes wide, staring curiously at the freckled Australian.

“Hyung! You’re a genius!” Felix exclaims, his eyes bright and full of stars—the galaxy was practically residing in them. He jumped around and giggled, so much so that Hyunjin had to calm him down.

“I- I am?” Chan questions, arching an eyebrow as Felix nods his head furiously.

That was it! He needed to befriend Changbin again!

To cut and tear down this insufferable awkwardness brought by the Australian!

“Hyung, I- I have to go get something!” Felix gasps in a rushed English, Chan and Hyunjin furrowing their eyebrows at him. “I’ll be quick! You guys can go around Myeongdong without me! I’ll call you!”

And before Chan and Hyunjin could even _process_ what the fuck Felix said, the latter was already up and out the entrance, leaving the two dumbfounded.

Oh, yeah, and Jisung celebrating for finding an orange striped cat plushie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG I JUST REALIZED THAT THIS BOOK LITERALLY HAS 8 CHAPTERS LEFT BEFORE IT'S OVER HABSJNWD
> 
> WTF I THOUGHT THERE WOULD BE MORE BUT I FORGOT THAT THIS ISN'T ALMOST KILLING THE PRINCE WHICH HAS LIKE A MILLION CHAPTERS LMAO
> 
> Also, I'm wondering what are y'all theories as to why Felix can't see color and Changbin can't :) And they ARE soulmates, I mean they both had the symptoms, right? So like... Why can't Felix see color?? :))
> 
> Anyway, I still can't believe there's 8 chapters left :/ There's going to be angst soon because I hate everyone :)))
> 
> -Ly <3


	21. | Winsor Emerald |

“I want to congratulate all of you for another year of success. We’ve helped published multiple best-sellers this year, helped authors start their writing careers—improved as a unit and as people,” Mr. Kang holds up his beer with a smile, narrow eyes glancing around the smoky room, the smells of grilled pork, beef and such between each worker. “So... I’m proud of y’all. Especially my team, editing team. And I hope next year will be as successful as this year, if not more—“

“Woah! Hold up!” Mr. Wang shoots up from the table next to Mr. Kang’s, gesturing to the people sitting at his table and then to Mr. Kang. “Didn’t Mr. Yoon commemorate the marketing team _a lot_ more than the editing team this year??”

“Yah! That’s right!” Shin Ryujin exclaims, shooting up from her seat and high-fiving Mr. Wang, Mr. Kunpimook, and Mr. Tuan before pointing shamelessly at her senior. “We worked our asses off too, Mr. Kang! We deserve as much credit as the editing team! Maybe more if you’re generous!”

“Well, Mr. Yoon Dowoon?” Mr. Kang glances at their president sitting beside him, arms crossed and nodding with lips pressed together into a thin line.

“We made it this far with each other. Without the other, we’ll crumble, right, Ms. Park Jihyo?” Dowoon smiles at the supervisor sitting across from him, the two agreeing with smiles. Mr. Yoon takes a sip of his liquor before raising it. “But I favor Mr. Jackson Wang and the Marketing team for buying me dinner during overtime!”

The entire marketing team all shot up and clinked their drinks together, cheering and yelling and congratulating each other, all the while teasing the editing team who all pretty much deadpans at Mr. Yoon’s and Ms. Park’s decision.

“Anyway, Merry Christmas!” Mr. Kang yells, the entire company cheering in response. “We’ll do our best! Truth, Sincerity, Modesty, _what are we?_ “

“You guys seem like a cheerful bunch,” Hyunjin giggles beside Seungmin as the rest of the company yells out cheers of _“JYP Publishing!”_ And the smell of beer and grilled meat filling the entire venue.

“They’ve probably made my entire year,” Seungmin hums, clinking his liquor with Changbin’s before Hyunjin’s. “But they’re too much sometimes. Especially when you’re stuck with the only other person in your section,” Seungmin gestures to Changbin with his head, the older scoffing and whipping his head toward the younger.

“I’ve literally helped you with every piece of work you’re too lazy to finish.”

“That’s not my problem,” Seungmin shrugs, eating a grilled piece of intestine. “You’re the one who keeps simping for me.”

“I- I—Hyunjin, yah!” Changbin sputters, the taller bursting into laughter and high-fiving the puppy-eyed individual, holding onto his hand a little longer that Changbin (specifically) notices. “I’m _not_ a simp.”

The two didn’t listen to the older, only continued on laughing. Seriously, one Seungmin was enough. He didn’t need the latter to invite _another_ one.

But those two looked way too cute together. Changbin had never seen Seungmin so sweet to someone—someone he’s just met, no less. And Changbin liked Hyunjin. The man seemed like someone who’d finally put Seungmin in his place.

However, to _invite_ the taller to a company _Christmas_ party...

If Changbin didn’t know any better, Seungmin might have fallen for him.

But Seo Changbin _knew_ better! He knew that the puppy-eyed individual wouldn’t carelessly fall for anyone. Sure, he was sappy at times when he thought of his soulmate; a romantic with the people who knew him best, but Changbin knew he was much more responsible than falling in love with someone that wasn’t his soulmate. And while non-soulmate hookups were a thing, Seungmin is too much a preppy bitch to even _think_ about such things.

Sometimes Changbin thinks that people who can’t find their soulmates, whether losing them or never finding them in the first place, tend to do stupid things. For example: falling in love with a certain freckled individual, even though _both_ of them accepted that it’s just not meant to be. But he gets where they come from. It’s saddening to think about a soulmate that’s potentially gone forever.

Even if Changbin has only gained the ability to see color for less than a month and might only be dramatic. 

The night grew older from there on out and most of their coworkers were buzzed— _not_ drunk since they still had to go back to work in three days and would be _embarrassing_ if they had to see each other after any drunken antic they were on about this night. But even if Seungmin was the _only_ other person besides Changbin in the Task Support Team, he’s practically _forgotten_ about the older in favor of Hwang Hyunjin.

All their history together, all their passive-aggressive, mocking, teasing, joking—all their _love_ for each other just gone and trashed for a boy with a pretty face.

Well—it wasn’t _just_ a boy with a pretty face. It was Hwang _Hyunjin_ , and Changbin would _definitely_ drop Seungmin for the guy.

It still didn’t change the fact that Seungmin practically ditched Changbin! Even though they were sitting _right_ next to each other!

So instead of getting ignored the whole night, Changbin took the five-minute walk back to their office and catch up with work. Depressing, he knows.

On Christmas _Eve,_ too. But when he’d usually be spending time with his parents, the pair were out of town. Taking a holiday to Europe and leaving their son to his lonesome. And since Seungmin also ditched him, Changbin had to find comfort between the manuscripts he had to edit and on the pages of books he had to go through just to figure out if this _one_ sentence was plagiarized or not.

But he enjoyed it. He enjoyed writing; he enjoyed his work, despite being the source of his high-blood pressure 25/8. And he enjoyed the people he worked with, enjoyed how they were basically a family, a small company like them. Sure, there were rivalries and teasing and mocking, and the never-ending bickering, but that’s what made it so comfortable.

Returning to their company building, he asked for the keys in possession of the security guard unlucky enough to work on the holidays. But criminals never take time off, Mr. Yoon would say. Even if... they were a fucking _publishing_ company.

Setting up a small workspace in the company library, Changbin got to work rereading the manuscript an editor asked him to go over, swinging a pencil back and forth between his fingers. 

He’s never seen the company building so quiet, so peaceful. Even during overtime, when Changbin or some other coworker was stuck until ten or later, the building felt so alive. Maybe it was the remnants of the day’s work still hanging in the air or the echoes of chattering still fresh in their minds. But now... it was silent. Quiet. Peaceful. Comfortable.

It kind of reminded Changbin of the street Felix and Chan lived in: Quiet, Peaceful, Comfortable. A place where everyone knew each other and preferred the peace, but in no way did it make it boring. A place where not even the rowdy dogs acted up, it was an environment that provided a place for everyone, _anyone._

Changbin wondered if it could provide a place for him. A place beside Felix’s side. And no, not as a soulmate, but as a friend. Someone who Felix could go to, and someone who Changbin could go to. A place Changbin wanted to protect from the dangers of the world.

And speaking of the damn devil, Changbin’s phone vibrated on the table, the silver-haired man glancing over at the device. _“Lee Felix,”_ it read, the screen shining menacingly brighter than the lamp on the table.

Changbin speculated that that place was occupied already. And everyone in the world basically knew. Knew that there was no way that Changbin could force himself in between. It would be rude, uncalled for, and why would he? He didn’t want to rip Felix apart from a relationship he very much adores and cares for.

When Changbin didn’t answer the call, he stared at his phone. A part of him wanted to move on. That, hey, Felix isn’t his soulmate— _who_ _cares_? Just leave him, isn’t that the reason Changbin stuck around, anyway? But another part, a much greater part of him wished— _begged_ silently that Felix would call again. That he was worth attempting to call twice.

He considered this a test, almost. Did Felix need him? Or was he a one-use item thrown away after his usefulness expires?

Did Felix _care_?

And the small smile that spread on Changbin’s face once his phone vibrated again — “ _Lee Felix_ ,” it read, the screen quietly asking him to pick up. And he did, reaching for the device with a sigh. 

“Hello?” Changbin hums after answering the call, leaning back into his seat.

“Oh, hyung! I- I didn’t think you’d pick up...” Changbin smiles once he hears the deep voice murmur, so soft that the older could’ve cried.

“So why even call?”

“I—“ Felix sighs, Changbin hearing a brush clink against a glass container, probably filled with water. “I was hoping you would answer.”

A beat of silence. A beat of silence Changbin wanted to _tear_. There was something on his mind—something in _both_ of their minds. Words left unsaid, forbidden to even grace their lips. Words that hung heavy in the air, despite being in a phone call. Words that Changbin desperately tried to burn.

“Hyung... Are you busy?”

“Hm, it depends,” Changbin smiles, Felix laughing lightly. “What do you need?”

“Oh, no, I just called to say Merry Christmas,” the freckled Australian mutters, clearing his throat. “And uh… I’m sorry.”

“Sorry?” Changbin sits up, placing the forgotten manuscript on the table. “For what?”

“When I kissed you. I don’t want it to be so awkward between us. I mean, you’re a really cool guy. I think I’d blame myself forever if I push you away so...” And Changbin laughs at that. How could Felix ever push him away when that kiss brought him impossibly closer? When Felix himself was the very reason Changbin stays up at night, the very _reason_ Seungmin glances at him curiously as he giggles in the office. The very reason why those forbidden words taunt him so.

“Felix, I said it’s okay. Don’t let it keep you up at night. It doesn’t bother me at all, really!” Changbin exclaims, smiling when he hears Felix laugh on the other end.

“Okay, sorry. I just—I thought that—y’know...” Changbin knows. he understood. Felix didn’t need to say more.

“What are you doing?” Changbin questions with a hum. He didn’t want the Australian to hang up. He didn’t want their conversation to end so soon. And even if it was already ten, Changbin felt as if a bubbly comfort replaced all fatigue from his body and excitement that still lingered from the company get-together just by hearing the freckled Australian’s voice.

“I’m painting. I just finished celebrating with Chan and his parents.”

“What are you painting?”

“Chan’s house. Moon in the back, lights on, Christmas lights glimmering in the dark. I thought it’d be a nice submission to my art project, y’know?” Felix hums. “The meaning of domesticity. Like home. Well—it _is_ a home, but I’m not thinking about the thing itself. I’m kind of thinking of the aura around it. What’s inside rather than the appearance.”

“Aren’t you cold??” The older bubbles. “You’ll get sick.”

“Eh. I don’t really care. Painting is more important, anyway.”

“Whatever you say... How would you describe your meaning of home, then?” Changbin questions, standing up. He saunters between the bookshelves, the place barely lit up by the streetlights outside and the moon, the cool dim light shimmering upon the books that decorated the company library.

“Well, uh...” Felix clinks his brush against the glass container, humming before clearing his throat. “I would say... It’s anything you want it to be. Someone, somewhere, something. But it’s anything that you could always return to whenever you want. And with just one glance makes you think _‘Ah... nothing could ever hard me here...’_ and like that—“ Felix snaps, the older practically seeing the smile that spread on the younger’s face. “—All the day’s work just feel so much lighter. Disappeared, almost. What about you?”

“Let me think,” Changbin sighs, leaning against a bookshelf, shoving his hand in his coat pocket. “I think... home for me makes me think about... running.”

“Running?” Felix sputters a giggle, Changbin pushing himself off the bookshelf with a smile. He pulls out a random book with no intention of reading it, only flipping to a random page for his hands to at least fidget with _something_.

“Yeah, running. I feel like home is something you want to run to. It’s something that even if you’re tired, make you want to sprint toward it. Something, _someone_ you want to protect...” Changbin mumbles, before placing the book on the shelf, walking toward the windows and staring outside to the decorated streets. “And it makes you greedy. So selfish for more of what that home provides because it’s so addicting and you don’t want anyone else to have it besides yourself. That’s what I think home is.”

“That was a little unexpected,” Felix bubbles at that, though calming with a sigh, leaving the two in such comfortable silence Changbin that had forgotten he was merely staring out the window.

He wanted forever like this. He wanted _home_ like this. And it made him greedy, selfish for more because Felix _was_ so addicting he didn’t want anyone else to have him. That even pulling the younger away would plunge Changbin into a depressing withdrawal. And he was so ashamed for the fact that he pined and longed for the younger that it hurt.

It was this greediness that made him consider about hanging up. To just push away Felix altogether before any of it could get worse. But he couldn’t. Not when the person who tore out his insides was _right_ on the other side of the call.

“Chan is calling me,” Felix sighs, Changbin letting out a choked sound in the back of his throat. “It was nice talking to you. It’s calming.”

“It is?” Changbin perks up, eyebrows shooting up as his heart tried to jump out of his throat.

“Yeah. I don’t know, just something about talking to you calms me.”

“Wait—before you go...” Changbin’s train of thought comes to a halt, his words dying in his throat as he just stares outside, at the moon, the streetlights, eyes wide at the beautiful holiday decorations out on the street.

“Yes...?” Felix questions when the older didn’t answer. Changbin slaps himself, shaking his head and heating up as he heard the freckled Australian laugh at him.

“I bought you a gift. How about I come over and give it to you?” The gray-haired man smiles widely, almost running back to where he previously sat, already chucking the manuscript in a box of other forgotten manuscripts as Felix lets out a hum. “If it’s okay.”

“Well, I also got you a gift. I think it’s it’ll be nice if we saw each other.”

“Great!” Changbin celebrates quietly, running a hand through his gray hair and letting out a breathless laugh. “I’ll see you... Maybe ten minutes??”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE NEXT CHAPTER GUYS. 
> 
> THE
> 
> NEXT
> 
> CHAPTER.
> 
> Honestly, I don't think y'all are even ready for it :/
> 
> -Ly <3


	22. | Mars Black |

Felix doubted the existence of Santa Claus. While he was exposed to the white lies of Old Saint Nick as a child living in Australia, he didn’t really buy the idea of some random man with a beard and a sack of questionable (possibly) stolen items breaking into houses with no _sort_ of jail time.

But hey, he’ll give Old Saint Nick the benefit of the doubt. _Maybe_ he had a permit.

However, after his call with Changbin, his belief in Santa Claus might’ve rekindled—no, immediately broken into a large flame.

Seriously, talking to him was a dream come true! A gift from Santa Claus left under the tree for Felix to run and jump and giggle in thanks by Christmas morning. First, they’ve repaired their friendship in about fifteen minutes. What Felix had been dreading was just brushed off and thrown into the trashcan for being so _stupid_! And it _was_ stupid! Why’d he think that a mere kiss could even ruin what little he had with Changbin when the older already reassured him! All of those useless thoughts were just Felix’s imagination running rampant, that’s what.

Second, he almost couldn’t believe it when Changbin continued to talk to him. Much more pick up the call. After his call went unanswered the first time, his confidence went from a hundred to ten. He first started with apparent intentions and a head full of unbridled courage. Until he sat there, painting for at least two minutes in complete silence, the ringing of his phone and the familiar _“the number you called...”_ still fresh in his mind. His confidence ran out on him then, and he seriously considered just giving up, even if it was _barely_ the first try. To just go to sleep and hope that Christmas Eve ends.

But he guessed—what was the saying? Good things come to those who wait.

And good things _happened_ , goddamn it!

Third, and most importantly, Felix and Changbin were meeting tonight. Albeit it’d be a brief exchange and they could _always_ meet tomorrow morning, he still agreed. And who was he to turn down any hang-out possibilities? From _Seo Changbin,_ of all people.

But he should calm down. Calm down. It’d be a brief _“Hello? How are you? Here’s the Gift. Merry Christmas. Goodbye.”_ Nothing else. It’s already late, he’s already inconveniencing Changbin for agreeing to meet so late at night.

“Who were you talking to?” Chan smiles as he leaned against the door, Felix skipping through the metal gates before shutting it behind him.

“Changbin. I wanted to greet our friends Merry Christmas,” Felix hums, trotting up the concrete steps and meeting the older at the door, feeling the warmth from inside finally grace the younger’s cold-bitten cheeks. Felix faces him, placing his icy fingers on the older’s warm cheeks with a smile so bright it could’ve blinded the other Australian.

“Why are you sitting outside? It’s so fucking cold,” Chan frowns at the younger, Felix shrugging nonchalantly before failing to suppress a smile. He was too damn happy than even the _cold_ had nothing against him, damn it!

“I just wanted to paint. Your house is a great reference and a possible submission to my professor.”

Chan stares at him, eyes wide and warm cheeks still between the small fingers of the freckled man so close to him. His gaze was so soft, so caring—a gaze Felix could always find comfort in no matter how many times Chan seems irrational or gave the younger tough love. Maybe, if Felix thought about it more, the older was the sole evidence of Santa Claus’ existence—until now, that is. The man was just a gift in of himself.

“Lix...” He croaks out, Felix nodding and humming. He holds the latter’s shoulder with a tight grip, Felix arching an eyebrow.

But something in his eyes changed, something Felix, again, couldn’t decipher. It weirded him out lately that Chan sometimes acted weird ever since Felix met Changbin. He’d stare mindlessly, he’d stammer, he’d act on impulse—he’d act not so... _Chan._ He didn’t act like Chan.

And Felix never questioned it. Maybe the older was just having a bad day, or maybe the air in Korea differed from Australia. Besides, when they’d return home, sighing in content with the day’s fun still simmering between them, he’d return to normal. That weird aura would dissipate as if it wasn’t ever there.

So Felix never questioned it.

“Chan? What’s wrong?” Felix furrows his eyebrows when Chan continued staring at him, unmoving, eyes faltering before perking up at the mention of his name. He swallows a lump stuck in his throat before leaning forward, connecting his lips with the younger Australian’s, eyes screwed shut and his hands grip Felix’s arms impossibly tighter.

When Chan pulls away, he continued to stand close to Felix, bringing up a hand to brush away a chunk of hair that fell over the latter’s wide eyes. He laughs breathlessly when Felix didn’t answer, sighing with a small, sheepish smile.

“Am I pathetic to use mistletoe as an excuse to kiss you?”

“I—Hyung—Huh?” the younger stammers, Chan gesturing up with a smile. Felix warily lifts his gaze to the holiday commodity hanging above their heads, innocently, childish—probably like Chan’s intentions. When Felix finally gathered his thoughts, he blinks at an expecting Chan right in front of him, eyes so hopeful with some sort of glimmering affection. Something that made Felix so _afraid_ to speak up.

“It’s—uhm…“ the freckled Australian clears his throat, finally meeting Chan’s gaze still on him. “It’s a little cheesy.” 

**\---**

Chan sat on his bed, eyes wide on Felix as the latter entered with a small smile and two mugs of piping tea the younger quickly brewed. He sits across from Chan; the bed dipping under his weight as he hands the mug to the older, the latter thanking him quietly with a trying smile that falters when his eyes meet Felix’s.

He takes a small sip of the drink to keep the awkwardness from settling in—to do _something_ other than meet the burning gaze on him.

“So...” Felix clears his throat, fingers tapping around his mug of peppermint tea, right in time for the holidays. He sighs, sick of the tension as he slumps his shoulders. “Hyung, look—”

“You don’t have to say anything, Lix. I understand, I really do,” Chan smiles sadly, blinking at Felix. His eyes were glossy, though no tears fell out, thankfully. Felix wouldn’t know _what_ to do if Chan ever cried in front of him.

“No, Hyung—Chris... Let me just say…” Felix scratches his head, switching to English. He could never really speak Hangguk-eo in a panicked state. And he guessed that speaking in English would be much more comfortable for both of them. He carefully takes hold of the older’s hand, gripping it tightly as a last-minute reassurance. For Chan or himself, he didn’t know. “I love you, okay? You know I do—how much I care and adore you. But... we’re not soulmates.”

Chan lets out a soft scoff through his nose, knitting his eyebrows as he stares helplessly at the freckled man. “Is that the only reason?”

“Well...” Felix shrugs, his gaze faltering to their interlocked hands. “I just... I’ve never seen you _like_ that. Y’know? You’ve always been my best friend and my brother and I just... I can’t bring myself to see you as anything else.”

“Lix, even if we’re not soulmates we can still try!” Chan exclaims, settling his mug on the nightstand and sitting closer to the younger, using both of his hands to hold the latter’s. “You wouldn’t know if all those old wives’ tales about soulmates are actually true!”

“Yeah, but...” The words died in Felix’s throat, choking on nothing but air and his stupid emotions. He tried to place his focus on the peppermint tea, how it tilted from one side to another because of how much he fidgeted, how the steam still danced, and twirled over the liquid. “Really, I _don’t_ want to lose you. You’re the most important person in my life right and now—maybe forever. I really don’t want this to ruin anything, Hyung...”

Yongbok grimaced at his own voice. How small and vulnerable he felt. And _so_ fucking guilty. He didn’t think he’d ever have to turn down Chan, even for something like this. He thought that their relationship was far enough that even _this_ wasn’t that much of a tremendous leap, even if they weren’t soulmates or anything. But Felix—

“You and Changbin aren’t soulmates...”

That hit harder than it should’ve. Chan was right, they _weren’t_ soulmates. And Felix was being _such_ a hypocrite for saying that he couldn’t date Chan because _they_ weren’t soulmates. Even so, Felix had the _gall_ to give him a confused look, to knit his brows together and frown as if he had no idea what the other spoke of.

“What does that even mean?” Felix sputters, Chan scoffing.

“Lix! Stop denying it! You guys aren’t soulmates but you keep acting like one whenever you’re around him!” He exclaims, Felix’s eyes widening as he noticed the tears gathering at the corner of the older’s eyes. Felix reaches forward, but the older only stops him, shaking his head and wiping his impending tears away with his sleeve. “ _Don’t—_ please don’t blame me for being so jealous. Not when I felt like you would leave me any second for a stranger you’ve met.”

Then was the...? The aggressive remarks toward Changbin, the denial whenever Felix thought about inviting Changbin out. The weird looks, the quiet rivalry, the unsaid words. Why didn’t Felix see it before? He knew something was wrong with Chan but never questioned it. He thought the older was _fine—_ when he clearly wasn’t. He should’ve talked to the older. He should’ve confided in him. He should’ve focused on the relationship he had now instead of longing for a one he couldn’t even grasp.

“Hyung, I—”

Felix could feel his phone vibrating in his pocket. Knowing who _exactly_ that was hurt more than it should’ve. And it weighed him down, especially as he stared at Chan before him.

“Felix, please,” Chan hiccups, taking Felix’s freckled face in his hands. “ _Please,_ don’t leave me.”

“Hyung...” His hand itched to take the call. To assure Changbin he’ll be down there in a second. To spend the last fleeting moments of Christmas with someone he possibly couldn’t be with.

And when Chan leans forward to press their lips together again, Felix lets him. He let the older just have this one moment, this _one_ last beg. He was selfish like that, wasn’t he?

“Hyung, I have to go,” Felix mumbles, nudging Chan away. The older’s gaze faltered; disappointed, but not surprised. And he didn’t call for Felix any longer, didn’t reprimand him or put him in his place as Felix so desperately needed. To be that alarm that helped him wake up to reality. _Fucking reality!_

He couldn’t even look the younger in the eye as he bows and exits the room.

He treads down the hallway, out to the living room where the Christmas tree was still set up. Felix remembers all the Christmases he had with Chan, where it was just them two. But in no way did it ever feel like they were alone or forced together. It always felt... _happy? Content? Full?_

Like they were the only people against the entire world. Even if they struggled to pay rent or had student loans breathing down their necks, Felix never complained. He never thought about his selfishness. He had always thought of Chan. Who had always been there, no matter the situation.

He picks up the wrapped box in the back of the Christmas Tree, hidden behind the decorations and against the wall so Chan never saw or noticed.

Chan was right on so many levels that Felix couldn’t even accept it. Why couldn’t he just feel that way about the older? They’ve had the history, they’ve had the feelings, the perfect relationship. But to Felix... why did he just ruin everything he had with Chan? All for the mere thought of— _soulmates_.

“Eomeonim!” Felix calls out to Eomma Bang when he noticed Eomma and Appa Bang still cleaning the kitchen. They glance at him and the freckled Australian bows with a shy smile, gesturing to the door. “My friend is outside right now but... I’m sorry but could you give this to him? I’m a little busy and—I hope I’m not bothering you.”

“Oh not at all, Yongbok!” Eomma bang wipes her hand on a towel hanging from the oven handle, Felix bowing as he hands the wrapped gift to the woman. “Is he outside?”

“Yes. Yes. I’m sorry about this,” Felix smiles sadly, Eomma Bang waving him off.

“Don’t worry about it,” Eomma Bang smiles at him sweetly, Felix bowing again as he runs back to Chan’s room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> F in the chat for our mans Chan :/ Or waIt MaybE ChanGBIn Is thE onE getTiNg rejEctED. 
> 
> Was Changlix a typo? Is this secretly a CHANLIX????
> 
> Lmao, anyway, I don't really write love triangles because a lot of the time they're b a d. 
> 
> So, I decided to add it into this book <3 
> 
> At first, I WASN'T going to have Chan's "maybe something more" love for Felix as one of his motivations but in the middle of plotting out this book, I realized how Chan is basically a static character. His motivation was just "I'm felix's fake brother, and I support everything he does," and compared to Jisung, he was a bit boring. Plus, it added more conflict, (and some spice imo), and having Chan actually love love Felix wasn't too far from his original character arc lmao. 
> 
> \+ this kind of makes you think about the integrity of soulmates ;) hint hint, next Chapter with Changbin's perspective hint hint ;)))
> 
> Anyway, I don't like love triangles <3 Enjoy this love triangle <3
> 
> -Ly <3


	23. | Ultramarine Violet |

"I'm sorry, Yongbokkie isn't available right now."

"Ah, it's okay."

"He asked me to give this to you, though," the woman smiles at Changbin, holding out a neatly wrapped gift with a gold, shimmery bow on top, the latter blinking furiously at the gift before he bows and takes it with a sheepish smile.

"Thank you. Could you give this to him?" Changbin asks, holding up a gift bag with wide, hopeful eyes—almost pathetically pleading for the woman to take pity on his hopeless puppy love.

"Of course," she smiles, Changbin's heart almost lunging from his chest. "It's so nice to see him have people that look after him."

"Yeah," the gray-haired man sighs, staring down at the gift.

"Well, I hope you get home safely. Merry Christmas!"

"Merry Christmas," Changbin bows, shoulders slumping once the woman shut the door and returned to the comforts of their home.

Was he disappointed that Felix didn't greet him? Well— _maybe_. Then again, he _was_ the one who suggested they meet so late at night. Maybe he was hoping for too much, maybe he let his heart pick and settle on his sleeve again, only for Lee Felix to tear it piece by piece because of the older's incompetence. Did Changbin feel a little cheated? Maybe, yes. But he couldn't blame Felix, not when it had nothing to do with the freckled Australian.

It was all Changbin's fault, all his impulsiveness that ultimately nudged them both of them to this. But what exactly _was_ this? That was the words left unsaid, the feeling and emotions that just come out of left field for no reason at all. There was nothing to describe it, Not Changbin's words or Felix's paintings.

Was it love? If it was, why did it hurt? It would make sense if they weren't soulmates. It was just fate's way of saying that to wake up—to face the reality that Felix wasn't perfect as Changbin perceives him to be. If they _were_ soulmates, however, it's such a cruel way to be in love. Why were they subjected as soulmates if they would only hurt? He thought soulmates shouldn't— _couldn't_ hurt each other? He thought nothing kept two soulmates apart.

And a part of him warned to keep this thought in mind. This was a warning from fate that they shouldn't be together, wasn't it? The final wake-up call before something tragic really happens.

Changbin notices how long he had stood outside Chan's house. How the low hum of the streetlights and the porch light combined integrated themselves into his brain. But his feet couldn't budge. Not when his eyes meet the shimmery exterior of Felix's present.

There was nothing there between them, was there?

Everything had just been puppy love, overwhelmed by the sight and thought of soulmates and color. It didn't matter who the hell his soulmate was if Changbin wouldn't even listen to fate for a hot minute. It didn't surprise him, though. People who could already see color do stupid things. There was no exception for Changbin.

And even so, while the initial excitement and that overwhelming feeling subsided and eventually disappeared, one thing remained. He still wanted to be there for Felix. Be that home that helped him recover at his worst.

And he wondered _who_ made him see color.

No, it wasn't to relive this pain all over again. It wasn't to fall for someone he didn't know just because of a title.

He wanted to thank them. Thank them for letting Changbin meet Felix. 

**—-**

"Why the hell are you here?" Changbin slips off his shoes by the door, placing them onto a rack he needed to replace for the last couple of years. He almost didn't notice the puppy-eyed individual splayed on the couch when he walked in, however, he had heard a groan coming from the latter as he walked in—and there was a random coat littered on the floor right when Changbin entered.

It wasn't the first time Seungmin barged into his apartment without a heads-up or even permission. It was breaking and entering, and Changbin should really report the man if he didn't want to refill his pantry with snacks by the end of the night. Changbin always lets him, though maybe he should hide the spare key somewhere else.

"Hyung, I'm drunk." This _was_ Changbin's first time seeing Seungmin drunk off his ass. He didn't mind it. Drunk Seungmin meant _quiet_ Seungmin however, he hoped he didn't have to clean vomit in the morning. At least that explained why Seungmin just _littered_ inside Changbin's apartment. "And I'm sad."

"That's cool," Changbin sighs, placing the gift on the kitchen counter as he turns on the light, going through his fridge for... _whatever_ to get his mind off of tonight.

"No, seriously," Seungmin shot up, leaning over the back of the couch to stare at Changbin pull out a beer. On Christmas Eve, borderline Christmas Day. Pathetic, he knows. "I'm really sad."

"Okay, but I can't do anything about it if you keep moping around like that," Changbin frowns at him, sighing as he leans against the counter. The younger grimaces when Changbin takes a sip of his alcohol. God, he _cannot_ look at anymore alcohol that night. Instead, he gestures to the wrapped box on the counter with an arched eyebrow.

"Who's that from? I think you missed secret Santa," Seungmin hums, Changbin shrugging. He didn't really want to say who it came from. _Everyone_ knows Seungmin would never let it die down if he figured out. But then again... The way Seungmin pathetically hung from the couch, the way he smushed his face into the cushions—it almost made Changbin feel bad for the puppy.

"It's from Felix," the older sighs, placing the can of alcohol on the counter. He reaches for a glass, reaching into the fridge and pouring Seungmin a tall glass of water to at least help him get his shit together. However, when Changbin handed the younger the glass, Seungmin only stares at it for... _approximately_ ten seconds.

Until he chugged it all in one sitting.

"Uh... Are you okay...?" That was a stupid question. It was so easy to see if Seungmin was or _wasn't_ okay. If he wasn't a tick in Changbin's hair then there was something wrong with Kim Seungmin. If there wasn't a smug smile or a mock at the tip of tongue, then yes, there _was_ a problem with Kim Seungmin. If he _stares_ longingly at an empty glass cup—yes, there _was_ _something wrong_. But Changbin still wanted to clarify. Most of the time, Kim Seungmin didn't want to talk about his problems.

"I don't know," he throws himself back onto the couch, lying with his legs propped up on the armrest and hugging the empty glass cup close to his chest. "Sometimes I ask that myself..." He huffs out what Changbin considered as a pathetic laugh, but only comes out as a whine. "Do you think we're in over our heads over soulmates?"

"I'm not sure," Changbin says, leaning on the couch backrest and staring down at the younger. Soulmates was such a complicated topic. No one actually completely understood—not even _half_ of what soulmates were all about. Where did it come from, _why_ did it even appear? Has it always been there since the beginning of time, or was it an evolved way of adaptation? _Were_ "proper" soulmates even a thing? Is love at first sight (literally) nothing more than a saying to motivate young kids?

"I mean, I've been missing my soulmate for... I don't know... _forever_. And I know I'm still young but—it hurts, hyung. I don't understand why soulmates just _hurt_ so much," Seungmin frowns, shutting his eyes as he fiddled with the glass against his chest. "I've been missing my soulmate for almost two decades that, sometimes, I lose hope of ever finding them ever again. I hate it. I hate color."

Hate seeing color? Hate being confused over his own feelings? Changbin could relate. It was so easy to lose hope in a world that idolizes the ideas of soulmates. That _everyone_ should have a soulmate, everyone should see color and such. But what happens when all that promised happiness never comes to fruition?

He knew the amount of time he's ever seen color couldn't compete with Seungmin, but he wished that he never gained the ability in the first place. It was his Achilles' heel. To see color reminds him he has a soulmate. However, because of incompetence—his stupidity and all the like, he didn't know who the _hell_ it was. It was such a constant mockery of Changbin, of all his past and future mistakes.

Seungmin sits up, laughing and leaning against the backrest. He almost throws the glass cup if Changbin hadn't taken it from him, though his laughter soon dies down, forming into pathetic whines and sighs. Like a wounded dog.

"I kissed Hyunjin."

_What??_

"I kissed him, but he _ran_ away!" Seungmin yells, burying his face in his arms.

Oh.

_Oh._

Changbin expected Seungmin of many things. Many _crazy_ things. He was the devil, a con artist, an enemy, a spy, an infiltrator, an eavesdropper. What he didn't _expect—_ truly didn't expect from the younger was to kiss someone who possibly wasn't his soulmate.

" _Why?"_ And Changbin had substantial reason to ask so! Sure, they had similar soulmate experiences, but so did a fourth of the population. People lose soulmates, end of story. And yes, there was a slim possibility Seungmin _somehow_ found them after literal _years._ But the odds were so against him!

"I don't know, hyung!" Seungmin exclaims, agreeing with the older on his own ignorance. "I thought—I felt something with him. You know? And I had a hope within me that we _were_ soulmates."

A situation Changbin was _so_ familiar with. A kiss between the _"not-to-be"?_ The awkwardness, the tension, the separation. The only difference was that... Changbin didn't run away from the kiss. He should've, _that_ probably would've cleared the air between him and Felix and ultimately cleared their own feelings. Yet, there was this pathetic hope that clung on. That _hope_ that only further destroyed their relationship and emotions.

"Well, _are_ you guys soulmates?"

"Hyung, sometimes you get to that point of desperation where you just don't care anymore. Are we soulmates? Maybe. Maybe not. It's more of the latter but I just wanted to feel loved," Seungmin smiles sadly, blinking at the older staring at him worryingly before gesturing to the gift on the counter. "At least your love life is better than mine."

"Hardly. I wouldn't even call it a love life," the gray-haired man pushes himself off of the couch, walking back to the counter and grabbing the box. He was too terrified to look inside. Opening it would probably open up a whole new world of wonder to Changbin he couldn't even process.

"What's inside?" Seungmin asks, staring curiously at the box to distract him from his own current sob story.

"I don't know," the shorter shrugs, returning to the couch and flopping right beside Seungmin, pushing off the younger's feet from the couch. "Probably something awful."

"Hey, do you wanna be soulmates?" Seungmin shoots up, eyes wide and sparkling in an attempt to lighten the mood, to which Changbin scoffs.

"Being your friend is frustrating enough," Changbin murmurs, dismissing the younger as his fingers run over the shimmery gold bow that wrapped around the gift. The wrapper was the average Christmas wrapper, a deep shade of green with holly. However, it didn't hinder the gray-haired man from marveling at its simple magnificence. He felt as if he was intruding into something private as he stared at the gift—like he wasn't supposed to lay eyes on such a thing.

And the uncertainty of it all kept him from tearing the paper as most did. Instead, he carefully pulled each flap off, wary that the tape didn't rip the wrapper. Was this even the right gift? It looked too thoughtful to believe that it was meant for Changbin. And not that the older was putting Felix down by saying that the Australian _can't_ do such a thing. It was quite the opposite—was Changbin _deserving_ of such a gift?

A gift that looks so quiet, but it yelled at him to open it. To tear it apart, to indulge his selfishness. A gift that screamed but did so prettily. One that was meant to torture him, to break him apart and put him together. To confuse him even more than he already was, but still had this undisputed grace that Changbin was almost blind to the possibilities.

And when he finally lifted the wrapper from the box, his heart almost leapt out of his chest, even if he only finished a small milestone and met another obstacle with the actual box itself.

"Hyung, just open the damn gift," Seungmin says, also annoyed at Changbin's hesitance. What was keeping him back, anyway?? He was sure, whatever the gift was, wouldn't— _couldn't_ change anything. This was a mere physical object, something that shouldn't threaten the older so much. 

With another huff, Changbin opens the box, blinking at the colorful tissue that covered the gift itself. And under the gift's curtains, the last step that unveiled everything before Changbin's eyes, was a simple frog sculpture, made of glass, sparkling under the light coming from the kitchen. And under the tissues it sat on was a painting. A simple watercolor painting of Changbin—what he assumed was during their time in Changdeokgung, the colors on Changbin himself bright and harmonious while the area surrounding dimmed and dark and saturated.

The first time Changbin finally got to see a little of "Lee Felix."

There was a postcard behind the sheet of watercolor paper, Changbin recognizing the pencil scratching's of Lee Felix's handwriting.

The first time reading it was much of a blur for Changbin to remember anything. But as he read it again, and again, and again, he almost wondered if he had lost his sense of understanding. That he had become illiterate with mere written words from Felix.

It read: 

> Changbin Hyung. Merry Christmas!

I hope you like the frog. Back in Australia, frogs give you good luck. Sorry, it's not from Australia itself. Next time I visit, I'll make sure to get you an authentic Aussie souvenir!

Anyway, this might sound creepy but I painted this picture of you when we were in Changdeokgung. I was unsure about painting and colors and my emotions as I painted. But you reassured me and I'm really thankful for that. So I wanted to paint you to see what colors I would use to paint you. Of course, I can't see color and I was too embarrassed to ask you but I thought this painting was too good for me to trash. So I want you to have it.

You've really been a source of inspiration for me on my trip to Korea. I was a little nervous that I'd return to Australia with paintings that lacked the criteria but because of you, I'm more than satisfied to call my recent paintings mine.

So I thank you. Really thank you. You've truly made the days shorter, I hate you for that!

Again, Merry Christmas.   
Best wishes, Lee Felix.

P.S. I know I can't see color but I hope this painting gives you as much joy as it did to me. Also don't bring this up ever again, I'll only be embarrassed ^^~  
  
  
  


"What did he write??" Seungmin glances over, trying to get a glimpse of the Hangul characters on the paper, only for the older to turn the sheet away.

"He wrote ' _none of your damn business,'_ " the older hisses, though failing to contain the smile that spread on his face.

Was he being selfish for feeling giddy? Was he a horrible person for feeling his heart thrum happily in his chest? It's not like Felix wrote this with that _specific_ intent in mind—more like _implied?_ Written between the lines? Or maybe Changbin was just reading too much into this. Or maybe that was just Felix's confusing friendliness.

Changbin was just indulging this foolish crush, wasn't he?

"Seungmin, why do you keep pushing me and Felix together?" Changbin huffs, staring helplessly at his friend. Seungmin seemed a little confused at this sudden underwhelming outburst. And Changbin too! He was too confused with himself and his feelings to just continue this all kept in. He needed guidance—to _ask_ someone! _Even_ if it was none other than Kim Seungmin.

"Because hyung, like I said earlier. After... what? Sixteen, almost seventeen years of not having a soulmate, reality sets in," Seungmin explains, gesturing to something obscure as the older listens with a nod every other word. "Reality is that... Really, what's the point of soulmates? Are soulmates something you _absolutely_ can't live without? I'm still alive, aren't I? And seriously hyung, I don't want you to go through seventeen years, maybe more, of being alone. I'd rather want you to face reality early on than hate being alone."

Being alone? That seemed like a more preferable option than heartbreak. And he knew he was being childish! _Why_ couldn't he _just_ let him go? Each time a major decision comes to his head, his heart wants to hold back. To at _least_ keep an arm or a leg within the boundaries, _just_ in case he was wrong in his decision. And he was a coward, wasn't he? He couldn't just accept the damn fact! And the fact was, he was in love with Lee Felix!

He was in love with Lee _Felix_...

Not the idea of soulmates, or just overall happiness he gets out of it. But Lee Felix, the person _himself_. The personality, the face, the smile, and the flaws, and the perfections— _everything._ And—love was a strong word. But if it meant that he might never meet his own soulmate in life because of his stupidity, he might as well use the strongest words to explain the unexplainable.

But the problem persisted.

"He's not my soulmate, though..." he mutters to himself. It was just a universal thought: soulmates should end with soulmates. Nothing less, nothing more. But if that was the case, wouldn't fate be so cruel to allow people like him to continue falling in love with others? Unless she was just naturally cruel—or just; punishing those who lose their soulmate. "He _can't_ see color. But I _can_."

"That's a problem. Of course, that's a problem. Unless he's just naturally colorblind. But does it matter?" Seungmin scoffs, falling back onto the couch, shutting his eyes with a deep sigh. "Hyung, this is literally the worst day to talk about this. It's already Christmas Day and all we've been doing is talk about depressing topics."

"Is that even possible?" Changbin arches an eyebrow, Seungmin shrugging as he took a couch pillow and hugged it close to his chest, gripping it tightly as he did to the water glass previously.

"Maybe. Maybe not. Whoever has it _can't_ actually tell, can they?" The younger waves Changbin off, sniffing and already falling into the safety of sleep, pressing himself closer to the couch. "I'm tired. Go to sleep, hyung. And stop thinking about it, please. Your head is only going to explode come morning."

Being naturally colorblind...? Changbin didn't even think such things were possible—of course, there were the more common stories about colorblindness, but being _completely_ colorblind...?

If— _If_ Felix...

Holy shit.

"But it would make sense though!" Changbin exclaims, whipping his head toward the younger, yanking him from entering the gates of dreamland, only to end up getting kicked to the floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LMAO Y'ALL ARE HATING ON FELIX for dipping Changbin but like put yourself in his shoes for a second. Your childhood best friend who's been with you for YEARS and has never left, someone who time and time again has given you everything. OR a potential love interest you're STILL not sure about, who you've only known for a month. Ofc, he still doesn't love Chan, but wouldn't Felix still want Chan to understand that he won't leave him behind?
> 
> I'm usually nice with what I hint about in my next chapters but I won't tell y'all anything this time :) WILL Felix go to Changbin? Or will he stay with Chan, we don't know LMAO
> 
> But y'all know that I love y'all right? <3 The next chapter is depressing but nice :))
> 
> I just wanted to see what happens when the MC FINALLY doesn't leave their childhood friend/family member who they've known for years + confided in for some love interest that they've barely met. Idk, what do y'all think about it? :) And yes, I've already finished writing the entire book so nothing y'all say would influence the plot at this point <3 espECIALLY WHEN WE HAVE 5 CHAPTERS LEFT
> 
> Also for those who are upset at Chan... I'll just say it now, lmao. He's not a bad guy, all will be cleared up in the future perspectives of Felix <3
> 
> But Changbin will always remain best boy <3 Actually no, Seungmin + Jisung are best boys <3 they're both just so entertaining to read lmao
> 
> -Ly <3
> 
> P.S. Changmin going all Socrates on Christmas day LMAO


	24. | Ivory Black |

He never thought the day would ever come.

Everything was just perfect, right?

For more than a decade, their relationship was seemingly flawless. There was a fight or two, but why wouldn’t there? Even so, they repaired their friendship quickly and returned to their usual banter and teasing, adoring and loving. He thought nothing could tear them apart, not even the world ending.

Who’d to think it was Felix himself that would cause this? That would tear them apart from their _seemingly_ flawless relationship.

At the first sound of the news, Felix thought all of it was a joke.

It wasn’t the first time Chan would jokingly—it didn’t sound like a joke _now_ —ask for kisses or sometimes suggested that maybe they were soulmates after doing something similar. They weren’t strangers to skinship either, as Felix was the type to cuddle up to someone at all times of the day, especially when they had nothing to do over the weekend. And Felix once figured that kissing might not be much of a step up from cuddling, especially if it was with Chan.

Surely, it’s platonic more than anything?

But how could Felix be so oblivious to it all?!

The signs were all there, screaming at him, yet he refused to believe anything. The lingering touches, looks, the pleading gazes, and the late nights. Yet Felix refused to believe it—him. Felix refused to believe Chan because... because he didn’t want to lose the older.

And all for what? To protect him? To satisfy Felix’s selfishness? For the morality of soulmates? He didn’t know himself.

Everything now is ruined. Felix didn’t know how he could ever confront Chan. How he could look the older in the eye and say, “I’m sorry.” How he could try to fix the schism between them.

Felix tries to focus on anything other than the ceiling, for the empty popcorn ceiling gave his mind much room to think. He tried to focus on Jisung’s humming from across the small studio, to the tapping of his feet, to the clacks of the keyboard. He tried to turn and toss on the couch, fumble with the pillow, and even covered himself with the squirrelly man’s padded jacket.

He tried everything to block out his thoughts, but each time he would find monetary peace, he would think, _“What is Chan doing now?”_

He thought himself selfish for leaving the older back home. After Felix returned to the room, Chan had already shut the lights and retired for the day, his cup of tea now cold on the nightstand. He had his back to the door, but Felix knew he was still awake, no matter how much Chan ignored the younger’s quiet calls.

Felix stood there for a long time before slipping into bed with the older, sighing and murmuring an apology. It was a miracle how either of them slept that night, but before the first dots of sunlight peeked from the sky, Felix slipped out of bed and took the bus to Jisung’s place. He didn’t tell Chan. How could he? He couldn’t act as if nothing was wrong between them—there was. For a long time, there was. And throughout the day, as Jisung opened the door at around 4 in the morning, as he doesn’t inquire any further about the worries on the freckled Australian’s shoulders and instead allows the younger to tag along to the studio with him, Felix wished—stared at his phone that Chan would call him and ask where he was.

But he didn’t. No matter how much Felix wished and prayed. He guessed that Santa only brings one gift each year. Or maybe _this_ was his version of a pile of coal.

“Lix, do you wanna eat something?” Jisung asks quietly from his office chair, pulling off his headphones and smiling softly at the freckled Australian. Felix lifts his face from the couch pillow.

“No,” Felix croaks out, blinking at the squirrelly man. Jisung sighs, scooting his office chair closer to the couch to sit in front of the Australian.

“Look, Felix. I know what happened between you and Chan is none of my business, but I really think that you should go home,” he says, Felix turning to face the couch’s backrest instead of the squirrelly man. He didn’t know if he was being childish or had a good reason for avoiding the subject so much. “Really. Seriously, don’t let whatever it is ruin you two.”

But Jisung doesn’t know. Jisung doesn’t know that it was more _complicated_ than simply confronting Chan about it! But _why_ was it so complicated, Felix didn’t know.

And Jisung was right. One way or another, Felix would have to return to Chan’s house. Unless Felix stayed over at the squirrelly man’s place, which Felix _knows_ will be met with little to no resistance.

When Felix didn’t answer, Jisung sighs again, the younger hearing the older grab his phone and keys as he got up from his chair with a whine and a stretch.

“I’m going to get lunch real quick. Do you want anything?” He asks.

“Headache medicine,” Felix mumbles, Jisung humming as he ruffles the Australian’s hair.

“I’ll be back as soon as I can, okay?” Jisung waits until the younger answers, Felix raising a thumbs up with a groan and his face against the pillow.

“Okay, Yongbok! Love you! Don’t move!” Jisung yells in English, pointing threateningly at the Australian before slipping out of the room. Felix wished that Jisung didn’t have to go, but then again, he could’ve gone with the older if it weren’t for his moody thoughts.

Maybe his phone had replaced Chan today because Felix then found himself staring—almost glaring at his phone helplessly. A part of him wanted to grab it, possibly lose himself in a world of YouTube or his friends’ social media posts. But he knew that all entertainment value he would get would only end up in false fruition. Like a momentary sugar high, he’d only return to his depressive state, maybe worse, later. But his other half desperately wanted to call Chan. For Chan to call _him_. Tell him everything would be okay, that it was nothing but a messy rebuttal.

So he opted to staring at it. The black screen reflecting his own pitiful face.

Felix couldn’t take it, instead, throwing his phone to the carpeted floor. Really, who was he trying to fool?? This was worse than anything he’s ever experienced! And this trip was supposed to be the peak of their holiday! Honestly, they were supposed to be having fun right now! Possibly going around Korea, spending time with Chan’s parents, eating at restaurants, painting the sights that would engrave the moment into Felix’s brain forever.

But he just can’t! He _can’t_... He can’t when they ruined the most precious thing he had, not when he was contemplating his own feelings for another individual. Not when Felix fucked up!

When he heard a chime from his phone, Felix immediately scrambled off the couch, crawling onto the floor to apologize to his phone and stare at the screen.

A text from Changbin.

While it wasn’t what he hoped for (not what he needed at the moment, either) Felix couldn’t help but open the message, gripping his phone tight.

Was he selfish for doing this? Was he a hypocrite? Was he in the wrong?

_‘Hey! Merry Christmas! Just wanted to say thank you for the gift :)’_

It read, Felix almost tearing up at the message. He wiped at his eyes with his sleeve. _Why_ was he just so confused? With his own feelings, with his own art, his own relationships. None of it made any sense, but instead of Felix going out of his own way to figure out this damn, frustrating puzzle, he opted to whining and pouting until someone did it for him.

Why couldn’t he just decide for himself? That not pleasing everyone was just a part of everyday life. Why couldn’t he just say... Why couldn’t he just say to Chan...

I can’t love you. Not because we’re not soulmates. But because I fell for someone else.

Felix hiccuped, blinking away tears as another message from Changbin came from his phone.

_‘I also wanted to thank you for being you. For putting up with my shit ever since we met. Honestly, the weeks with you are probably one of the best in my life. And I know you’ll return to Australia soon, but I hope we can continue being friends. Merry Christmas.’_

And he couldn’t blame Changbin. Not when the man did next to nothing while Felix’s feelings ran rampant. This was all his doing. He was the one who opened up to the older, who painted him and indulged in his own insecurities, who made him think about his art in a different light—who kissed him under his own unsure jurisdiction.

So it should also be him to fix all of this. Who should stop pouting and whining until someone came to be his caretaker. It shouldn’t be Chan, Jisung, Changbin—no one but Lee Felix. 

**\---**

And even now, Felix was unsure of his own feelings. He was unsure as he stood out in the cold, under the cloudy, darkened sky. He was unsure as he fiddled with the bag that hung from his shoulder, turning and digging his thumb into his phone as he leaned on one foot to another.

Unsure as he saw Changbin walking down the street toward him, smiling and waving as his head was buried into his scarf and padded jacket. Unsure as their eyes met, Felix tentatively waving back, giving the older a half-hearted smile.

A small part of him criticized him for being selfish. For betraying Chan. However, he needed to fix—not only what had happened with Chan, but with himself. And he wanted to first confront his confusion. His confusion about these sorts of feelings directed toward Seo Changbin.

"I didn't think you wanted to hang out today," he laughs, airy. And Felix felt his own heart constrict into itself. Confusing as it was, was feeling like _this_ for someone supposed to hurt? "It's Christmas Day. Don't you want to stay home?"

"Ah, no. I wanted to see you," Felix smiles, Changbin nodding with a pout as he gestures to the cafe.

"Shall we?" he asks, the younger perking up and glancing around.

"Actually... I was wondering if we could just... walk?" Felix had never heard his words so shaky before. What was supposed to be a suggestion sounded more like a question, and honestly, the way Changbin knit his brows together and frowned made Felix jump.

"Oh, of course, sure," he nods anyway, the two walking side by side down the sidewalk. For a second or two, there was nothing between them, just an unfamiliar silence that not even their first meeting knew. Each moment with Changbin was always filled with comfortableness that Felix would always run to. Now, he wasn't so sure.

"Hyung... last night..." Felix was the first to speak, Changbin perking up with eyes wide, nodding slightly as a silent reminder for Felix to continue. "I'm sorry I didn't get to meet you outside. Thank you for the gift, but I can't believe I ditched the last second. That was _so_ uncalled for on my part."

Changbin knits his brows together, tilting his head in confusion.

"It's fine. You don't have to apologize. It was late anyway. And _very_ last minute too."

"But it's kind of... well— _look_ — _"_ Felix and Changbin stop walking at a crosswalk, waiting for the light to turn and allow them to cross as the younger turns toward Changbin. "Hyung. I'm sick of this."

"Sick of what?" Changbin tenses, turning to the freckled Australian and meeting his eyes. Felix gathered enough strength to take a deep breath, frowning at the older. Though when he opens his mouth, nothing comes out, only breathless in the chilly winter afternoon, a small puff of air forming in front of Felix's lips as he stares at Changbin. And for a moment he forgot where his train of thought went, how he couldn't focus or even remember why he called the older here for. Especially not when Changbin smiles softly, reassuringly—silently telling him that anything Felix says would never offend him.

"I like you."

It was Changbin who said it first. Who beat Felix to the punch. Who made the younger tense and feel his face heat up, ignoring how the people around them stepped aside to pass because the crosswalk lights just turned to "go".

"And it's alright if you don't like me back. I kind of accepted it by now," Changbin laughs lightly, ripping his eyes away from Felix's wide ones to stare at the ground instead. He shrugs, Felix wondering why the older wasn't as nervous as Felix was about it as Changbin pushed his hands into his pockets with a shudder when a light wind blew past them. "And yeah, our meeting was... abrupt, and weird and... _just_ coincidental by all means. But I thought I would grow crazy if I didn't tell you now. Especially if you return to Australia."

Felix kept his mouth shut, swallowing hard and blinking furiously at the older. It was Changbin's turn to flush under his stare, the dusted pink crawling up his cheeks and turning the tips of his ears red as he let out another breathless laugh.

"But you have Chan. So... I thought that confessing to you like this would finally clear whatever it is between us. Because, as crazy as it may seem, I trust you. Even if everything had been going so fast, everything was just a blur from when we ran into each other 'till this point. And it's slowed down enough for me to realize that I was only stumbling and bumbling along to the bar of soulmates. Does it even matter? I think it depends on the person. But it definitely didn't keep me from being grateful that I met you."

It shouldn't have come off as a surprise. Felix had known from the start that Changbin liked him in more ways than one, that the older was pining after him because of the false thought of soulmates. He had rejected Changbin at least twice, maybe more if he really analyzed his words. So why did this confession seem so _different_ than the ones before? Where the ones when they first met were just bumbling and shy glances and a false hope that they were soulmates. But this...this was unsure, as unsure as Felix was. It was quiet, insecure in of itself. But it was so warm and comfortable—the same comfort that Felix adored from the older.

"Hyung—" 

“You don’t have to say anything, Felix, really,” Changbin glances up at him, smiling brightly. There was no hint of sadness, no regret. Just a warm smile that the freckled Australian melts into. He then lets out a huge breath, holding his heart and fanning his face. “I feel so alive right now! I feel like a huge weight was just taken off of my chest. And really—seriously—I’m just happy to see you happy. To choose whoever you wanna love.”

Felix frowns, feeling his tears return. They brimmed at the corner of his eyes, pursing his lips so he didn’t let out the hiccup that scratched at his throat. Though he smiles lightly, wiping at his tears with his sleeve as Changbin whips his head up, eyes wide and panicking.

“Woh- woh- woh- Why are you—” Changbin sputters, pulling the freckled Australian’s arms away from his face gently, brows furrowed as they stared worryingly at the younger. “You’re crying. Shit—Felix, I’m so—”

They both perk up at the sound of a distant rumble, Felix sniffling as the first drops of rain landed on their heads, then on their cheeks and noses as they both glance up at the sky, suddenly coming down at a steady flow as the people that walked by them pulled out their umbrellas and shielded themselves from the rain.

Changbin and Felix, however, couldn’t help but stand helplessly, lost in each other’s eyes as the pair quickly became drenched under the rain.

“I’m sorry,” Changbin murmurs, Felix laughing even though his chest hurt and caved in into itself.

“Hyung, why are you sorry for?” Felix shakes his head, droplets of water from his undercut landing on Changbin’s hands as they continued to grip the younger’s arms.

“For liking you.”

“Me too,” Felix smiles small, taking Changbin’s hand in his. “But we should get out of the rain.”

Changbin yelps as the younger drags him down the street, the two running to the nearest convenience store down the street, walking into the small shop soaked to the bone and freezing. Nevertheless, Felix paid for an umbrella (even though it was useless at this point) and two ice creams for the both of them before sitting on the bench outside, under the overhang, in a familiar, comfortable silence.

“Ah... shit...” Felix huffs, pulling out his wet sketchbook from his bag with a grimace. Changbin immediately perks up, bowing low in apology as Felix smiles fondly at him. It wasn’t as soaked as the two were, being protected by the bag for a while, however, the edges of the sketchbook were wet, with the paintings near the front and back of the sketchbook much wetter than the ones in the middle. But it wasn’t anything that a good ‘ol blow dryer wouldn’t fix.

At least Felix hopes.

“I’m sorry!” Changbin gasps, frowning at the ruined pieces of art. “I’m _really_ sorry—God, I should’ve brought an umbrella with me—”

“Hyung, seriously, it’s fine,” Felix waves him off, shaking his head. “These are nothing. At least my paints didn’t get ruined. _Those_ are expensive.”

When Changbin didn’t answer, only continued to stare apologetically at the younger’s sketchbook, Felix waves a hand in front of him, successful in getting his attention as their eyes meet.

Though instead of reassurance about his paintings, Felix instead frowns, shutting his sketchbook and holding the older’s stare with his own. And there were words left unsaid, words that Felix would never admit to saying. Changbin too, but Felix didn’t let him say it.

“I rejected Chan last night.”

“Why...?”

Why? It made Felix laugh that even Changbin was confused. Honestly, _why_? They seemed like the perfect pair. Everyone saw that. But he _just_ couldn’t feel that way about Chan, the way Chan felt toward him. Soulmate or not. There wasn’t a border there at this point. Not when Felix fell for someone he wasn’t destined for.

“I...” The younger shrugs, huffing out a breath he fiddled with the ice cream wrapper on his lap. “I just had to... But I couldn’t face him this morning and secure my decision.”

“Are you sure?” Changbin asks, Felix nodding with a shaky breath as he stares out to the road, the harsh rain falling and dripping off of cars and the tar.

“I’m sure. I just couldn’t see him that way,” Felix sighs, tilting his head and laying against the older’s shoulder. He shuts his eyes, despite the chill the rain brought along, and his drenched clothes sticking to his skin. “I still love Chan. And at this point, the thought and rules of soulmates are questioned. But I adore him as a brother. Not as something more. And I couldn’t bring myself to fake my feelings for him. I didn’t want to hurt him, but I didn’t want to lose him.”

Felix takes a breath, letting out a breath of a laugh at the tip of his tongue. “Me and Chan... We kind of never had friends before we met each other. And over the years, I guess we just started to have this dependency on each other. Without the other... What’s the point?”

“You won’t lose Chan,” Changbin reassures, the younger nodding aimlessly. “I don’t think the world ending could separate you two. If your rejection is enough for him to leave you, then he doesn’t deserve you in the first place. He’d be a selfish bastard then.”

“Yeah, but still,” Felix mutters. “Even if he leaves me, I would still try to chase after him. I’m not the type of person to leave someone behind.”

Changbin huffs out a breath, a short chuckle at the tip of his tongue. “I know.”

**\---**

Felix held in a breath as he stood in front of Changbin, younger perking up as Changbin laughs fondly, gesturing to the gated house they stood in front of.

“I think this is your stop,” he laughs, the freckled Australian blinking and furrowing his eyebrows. 

“Oh—Oh yeah—” Felix clears his throat, holding the umbrella in front of Changbin and gesturing to it with his head. “Here. Take this, hyung.”

“Well, what about you?” the older arches an eyebrow, Felix humming as he takes Changbin’s hand and forcibly gives him the umbrella.

“Hyung, Chan’s house is literally right there,” the younger shakes his head, though smiling small. “Thank you, by the way. For... today.”

Changbin returns the smile, nodding reassuringly as he stares at the younger.

“Of course,” he says, watching as Felix opens the gate, sucking in a breath. He tucks his bag into his jacket, before bolting across the front yard, up the porch stairs as he lets out high-pitched yells that Changbin laughs at. When Felix knocks on the door, half-expecting Eomma Bang to open the door after coming home from work, however, was surprised to see Chan furiously yank the door open, not even letting the younger Australian’s get to the third knock.

“Felix!” he gasps, moving to pull the younger into a hug. But he hesitates, clearing his throat and gesturing to the younger instead. “You’re soaking wet! I tried to call you, why didn’t you answer?”

“My phone died. Sorry, I spent the morning at Jisung’s.” Felix smiles, staring at Chan, whose worried eyes never left him. Chan frowns, ruffling the younger’s damp hair from standing out in the rain earlier.

“Don’t apologize, please... Hurry inside, I’ll run a bath for you,” Chan sighs, bolting inside the quaint house.

Though before Felix follows the older inside, he turns back around. Last time, when Changbin dropped him off, he couldn’t look the older in the eye. He couldn’t bring himself to accept the confusion he threw himself in, couldn’t accept that he just kissed someone who wasn’t his soulmate.

But he knew Changbin was there. Even now, under the pouring rain, the older was there, hand in his pocket and gripping the umbrella Felix gave him, waiting for the latter to enter the comfortable confines of Chan’s home and avoid getting sick. He smiles small when the Australian’s eyes land on him, gesturing to the house with a point and a grimace that the younger laughs at.

Felix suppresses a smile, entering the house, shutting the door behind him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'ALL THIS IS THE LAST FULL WEEK OF UPDATES FEWSDECFG
> 
> Okay, so I'll be updating Thursday, Saturday and the Epilogue will be on Tuesday next week BEFORE THIS BOOK IS OFFICIALLY OVER.
> 
> And yeah, no, lmao. This book ain't a chanlix
> 
> OH ALSO idk why but I also wrote an analysis on the concept of soulmates in this book because I was BORED and wanted to do an analysis so I'll be posting that too :V Which sounds stupid and it IS but like... Yeah <3 
> 
> -Ly <3


	25. | Cobalt Green |

"Yah, Seo Changbin I didn't take you to be a painting type of guy." Changbin immediately jumps from his seat, scrambling and fumbling with Felix's painting in his hands as he shoves it back into his binder, clearing his throat with face red. Mr. Kang arches an eyebrow, patting Changbin's back dismissively before returning to his desk at the head of his section. "Keep up the good work. Maybe you'll end up in the design team soon."

Changbin quickly realized how much his job meant to him. Sure _,_ their _very_ short, lackluster Christmas break was necessary to reconvene and re-energize instead of burning out. But the thing was, Changbin missed the white-noises of the office: the printer going off every five seconds, the familiar _"kuh-chunk"_ of the staplers, the chatter and discussions of coworkers and different sections. Even the tough love Mr. Kang gives his team, or the immense amount of work Ms. Park gave, the laid-back and bright nature of Mr. Yoon, the playful gestures of Mr. Wang and Mr. Kunpimook or silent disapprovals of Hwang Yeji at Kim Wonpil or Kim Dahyun—all of it, Changbin missed (even if they were merely gone for a few days).

 _We build the life of an editor upon coffee and restlessness_ , Mr. Yoon always reminded whenever he came sauntering into the office floor, bored with his own confined space.

And he was right. Mr. Kang, too, was right.

This small company of theirs was almost like a second family.

However, he hated how much of a tease they could be sometimes.

Especially when there was a mysterious vase of flowers on the desk across from Changbin's.

It's been there since early morning, the delivery man that carried the flowers getting on the same elevator as Changbin. At first, he didn't think of it too much. Momo Hirai would get flowers from Kim Heechul from time to time, and Kim Wonpil liked to add color to the office (with permission from Mr. Yoon, of course) by bringing in flowers to decorate the break room. So it wasn't out of the ordinary.

However, once Changbin exits the elevator, the delivery man calls out to him, furrowing his eyebrows and asking for a "Kim Seungmin."

If Changbin had been holding the flowers, he would've dropped it on the spot.

But he wasn't, instead, shakily gesturing to the empty desk in front of his.

And even when more and more people piled into their workplace, they stared in awe—no, not _at_ the flowers. But the flowers _on_ _Kim_ _Seungmin's_ desk.

It was so unbelievable that even Park Sungjin turned to inspect the glory itself.

It didn't help that Seungmin was late to work. _Kim_ Seungmin was _never_ late to work. Everyone knew something was up.

"Okay! What's going on here!" Mr. Yoon calls out as he exits his office, everyone halting their gossips and turning back around in their chairs, clearing their throats and returning to their work. "I can hear you guys gossiping from my office!"

At the silence, everyone hears the elevator doors unexpectantly ding open, shoes skidding against the carpet as the man of the hour comes rushing into their office, eyes widening and out of breath. His hair was a mess, his coat hanging off one shoulder as he fumbled with binders and his bag. Fixing his crooked glasses, he makes eye contact with Mr. Yoon, who arched an eyebrow at him.

Kim Seungmin never looked so... _unlike_ Kim Seungmin before.

"Sir! I-I—" Seungmin laughs forcibly, pulling up his jacket, so they settled on _both_ shoulders. Everyone stared at him now, the young man bowing apologetically. "This isn't what it looks like."

"People—" Mr. Yoon glances around the office, hands in his pockets with a sigh. His deep voice, though lax, rung in everyone's ears carefully. "I get we just came back from a break and we have that post-Christmas excitement, but this is still a workplace. You guys can gossip, that's none of my business. But if this gets out of hand, I _will_ have to consult Ms. Park on this."

At that everyone grimaces, Changbin hearing Mr. Wang scrunch his face with a choked noise past his gritted teeth, Shin Ryujin and Mr. Tuan nodding in agreement.

"And Kim Seungmin," Mr. Yoon says, Seungmin perking up and nodding expectantly. "Get to your seat before you break something."

"Yes, sir!" Seungmin says, running toward his desk as everyone returns to work. Mr. Yoon's threat about Ms. Park was enough for everyone to forget the entire ordeal about the flowers and Kim Seungmin—at least let their eyes and mouths forgot. Their ears, however, were open very wide to whatever Kim Seungmin had to say next, especially Mr. Kang, who sat a little behind Changbin and Lee Chaeryong to his left.

"You're never late?" Changbin hums, flipping over a page as he arched an eyebrow at the older nonchalantly, swinging his chair from one side to another. Seungmin huffs in frustration, pulling off his jacket and settling it on his chair's backrest.

"I don't want to talk about it," he grumbles, falling to his chair with a sigh before gesturing to the flowers with an arched eyebrow. "Did Kim Wonpil place flowers on my desk? These look fucking ugly." 

Seungmin slides the vase over to Changbin's, the older rolling his eyes as the puppy-eyed man finally fixed his supposed untouched desk, nudging some paperweight so it was at the _right_ angle.

Everyone almost forgot about the entire ordeal when nothing else happened for an hour, just Seungmin working as Kim Seungmin does, almost sliding back into his mojo instantaneously. However, when Changbin got a phone call in the middle of fucking work, he thought it was a bit strange.

"Hello?" It was _a bit_ strange that Hwang Hyunjin was calling him in the middle of work.

"Hello? This is Seo Changbin, right?" He heard the voice say from the other side of the call. "It's Hwang Hyunjin."

"How d'you get my number?" Changbin questions, leaning back into his chair with an arched eyebrow.

"Ah, Lee Felix gave it to me. Say could you..." He clears his throat, a hesitant hum falling from his lips as a loud silence fell on the two, despite being on a call.

"Speak up, I don't have all day," Changbin says, Hyunjin letting out a nervous laugh.

"Oh! Yes, yes—sorry—could you hand the phone to Seungmin?"

Changbin leans over, arching an eyebrow as the said man notices him. "Seungmin? Kim Seungmin?"

"Yes. Kim Seungmin."

"I don't know..." Changbin drags out, Seungmin sitting up in interest as he gestures to the older with knitted eyebrows.

"Hyung, who is it?"

"He's kind of busy," Changbin ignores Seungmin, turning his office chair and smiling as Hyunjin sputters out a pathetic hum.

"Oh- oh... Well—uhm... that's alright I—"

"Hyung, who is it? Give me the phone," Seungmin says, Changbin waving the younger off, even when Seungmin leans over his desk.

"Well, I could relay the message. What did you want to say?" Changbin smiles, yelping when Seungmin kicks him. The older whips his head toward the perpetrator, muttering a threat under his breath and Seungmin muttering one back. Changbin rolls his eyes, feeling some sort of pathetic pity toward the younger. He's been waiting for a long time, it'd be cruel if Changbin denied him his love life _now._ "Wait, you know what? He's just finished. Hold on."

Changbin hands his phone over which the younger takes hesitantly, smiling small with a quiet _"you owe me!"_ that Seungmin waves off.

"Hyunjin?" Seungmin asks, returning to his chair as he scooted it back in. Changbin tried to return to his work, to give them the privacy that Seungmin would appreciate. But he couldn't help but be so damn _curious!_ And half of the office agreed _with_ him, as Shin Ryujin took notice of the small rebuff between the two, before quietly whispering to Mr. Wang. And Mr. Wang, the loudmouth that's he was, told Mr. Tuan and Mr. Kunpimook—which then spread into this whole ass wildfire across the entire floor.

"Oh! The flowers!" Seungmin says, immediately retrieving the arrangement of flowers from Changbin's desk, smiling fondly at them even if they ruined the meticulous perfection of his desk. "I didn't know they were from you! They're beautiful!"

A shy, bright smile breaks on Seungmin's face, almost curling into his seat as Changbin arched an eyebrow. He was fully staring at the younger's weird display as—who wouldn't? This was such a horrific display coming from the devil himself that even Mr. Kang couldn't help but listen in.

Not to mention, just _days_ ago Seungmin arrived depressed to Changbin's place, not even moving an inch until the day after. He smushed his own face into the couch pillow for the same man talking to him, for fuck's sake!

"Yeah, Yes—how about later?" Seungmin perks up, pushing up his glasses. "Uhm... I don't think I have any plans during my break."

"You were supposed to spend it with me..." Changbin hums with a scoff, the puppy-eyed individual ignoring him.

"Great! Okay—I'll see you, then. Just ask Changbin Hyung for my number. Okay, bye—see you—" When he finally pulled away from the phone, he almost jumps at the number of eyes on him, who all turned back, returning to their own business with cleared throats.

Seungmin arches an eyebrow at all of them, but was too happy to complain, returning to his own work with a smile and a fond look toward the flowers. 

—-

Even though he made plans with Seungmin, apparently Ms. Park had something else in mind for Changbin during lunch break. It was a last-minute thing, really, where an author they've worked with for years returned a day early than what was planned from traveling abroad.

They've already had the return gift ready and bought, however, they needed someone to pick it up. And who else other than the Task Support Team themselves? AKA Seo Changbin, who was the only one unlucky enough to have time during his break.

Really, he should've lied and said he was busy. Maybe then, he wouldn't have to go to the mall.

He hasn't even started lunch yet, and Changbin was already running two minutes late—any more and he might end up sleeping in a grave tonight.

Gripping the gift bag tight, he strode along the mall, glancing at his watch almost ritualistically as his anxiety seeped in. He _did not_ want to anger Ms. Park. No one did. And even Mr. Yoon, or for that matter, Mr. Kang. She was merciless in what she did, and if Seungmin was the devil, then Ms. Park was Lucifer in the flesh.

Changbin shuddered at the thought. Though turning a corner, he almost runs into a familiar Australian. No, it wasn't Lee Felix. Though if it was, Changbin might've thought the universe was against him.

Instead, it was Chan, who immediately grabbed onto his shoulders to keep Changbin from falling to the floor.

"Seo Changbin—I—" He smiles, albeit awkward and a little forced, Changbin could tell he was trying. At least, trying just a _little_ bit more than usual when it came to the shorter. "Hey..."

"Hi. I didn't think I'd run into you, of all people." It was Changbin's turn to force a laugh, scratching the side of his neck unsurely. But it was true. Of all people, Chan was the _last person_ he wanted to see right now. No, not because of the childish jealousy that plagued their beginnings, or any anger—it was just awkward. Now that they _both_ confessed to Felix. "How have you been?"

"It's been good, it's been good. You?"

"I've been well."

Silence.

More Silence.

Even more silence (with the occasional cough from Chan).

Honestly, why didn't Changbin leave? Why couldn't he say _"I'm fine. Goodbye."_

There was something that kept him from completely leaving, something that wanted to give Chan a chance (assuming he wanted to say something by how he kept opening his mouth but shutting them). Changbin wondered if it was normal for Australians to have people gravitate toward them.

" _Look_ ," Chan finally sighs, Changbin almost jumping at the sound of his voice. The older makes obscure gestures with his hands, tilting his head as he stares at their feet. "I know I haven't been... the _best_ toward you. And I know we got off on the wrong foot but..." He clears his throat again, finally glancing up at Changbin with a frown. "But you're not half bad. And I'm... Sorry."

"Sorry?" Changbin's eyes widened, jutting his neck as if he heard correctly. And he didn't mean to look so rude about it too! He was just... surprised, that was all.

"Yeah. I didn't mean to be so mean to you when we met, it was just that—" He sighs, rubbing his face in flustered frustration. "I was scared you'd take Felix away from me. And I admit, I haven't... I guess I haven't _exactly_ been the best hyung or best friend that Felix needed at the moment. I was... selfish."

When Changbin didn't answer, Chan only continued.

"I was insecure—and I lashed it out on you. I'm sorry."

"It's okay," Changbin waves him off with a smile Chan hesitantly returns. "Really. I was childish for playing into it. But in no way do I ever want to pull you and Felix apart."

"I know, I know," he huffs, frowning. "It's just that... every time I saw you two together, I always thought Felix would suddenly just... forget about me." Chan makes a gesture with his hand. "But he rejected me. So, at least it's off my chest now. But still. I just... I still can't just look at him the same way. It's just... hard to _stop_ liking someone like that, y'know?"

"I agree."

Chan's eyes grow comically wide, choking on his own spit as Changbin's own face reddens, clearing his throat and glancing away. He didn't think he'd ever tell his "rival" about his own mess of a confession.

"You- you..." Chan sputters, pointing at the younger.

"Yeah," he answers with a small shrug. "But it's a little... unclear..."

"Oh wow," Chan lets out a giggle at that. "Can't say I'm not a little jealous. But I think I know. Felix is just really shy sometimes, so he sometimes forgets to address situations that need interaction," he huffs. Changbin expected Chan to take back everything he had said immediately, that Changbin was stupid and he shouldn't have confessed, and that he and Felix were the ones to belong together. But the Australian smiled at him, thin and with a hum at the tip of his tongue. "But whatever Felix chooses, I'll support him. I don't want this childish thing to be the thing that separates us. If there is something that separates us I at least want it to be dramatic."

Changbin lets out a laugh, though perking up when he realized... Oh fuck, he was still late! He was _much_ later because of the run-in with Chan. But the older seemed to catch onto Changbin's distress, bowing in apology with a sheepish smile.

"Oh, shoot. Were you busy? I'm sorry, man—"

"Ah, it's okay, it's okay," Changbin smiles, though a huff of relief washing through his lungs as he checks inside the box. He still had the same bag. Only God knows what would happen if he fails to retrieve something for Ms. Park. Mr. Kang was much more lenient but Ms. Park—A fuck-up shouldn't even be _thought of_ when it came to Ms. Park. "Thanks for bringing this up with me. It's thoughtful."

"Hey, if he rejects you, still. At least you have someone to talk to," Chan laughs, though Changbin perks up with eyes wide.

"Wait, when are you and Felix returning to Australia?" Changbin asks, Chan pressing his lips into a thin line and glancing up in thought.

"Two and a half weeks? We'll be spending the first day of Lunar New Year so Felix and I could visit relatives with my parents. But we'll be leaving the second day. We'd like to stay longer, but Felix's summer break doesn't last forever, you know?"

"Ah. I see," Changbin clears his throat, Chan humming as he smiles small at the younger. "I need to go."

"Of course," the Australian smiles brightly, though gesturing to Changbin before the shorter could leave. "By the way, Felix is free next week."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG IM SORRY YALL FOR UPDATING SO LATE ;;;;
> 
> I WANTED TO UPDATE EARLIER BUT MY EDITOR COULDN'T EDIT DURING HER CLASSES
> 
> We're sorry LMAO Anyway, 3 chapters left <3 
> 
> also I was wrong on Tuesday. The last chapter will be posted on Thursday NEXT week <3 not Tuesday lmao
> 
> -Ly <3


	26. | Davy's Gray |

Was it a date?

Maybe.

Felix didn't _choose_ to go, really.

He wanted to stay home, spend the last weeks of his summer break on his bed, curled up under at least two blankets with an entire kettle of tea right beside him, watching movies all day long. He could _never_ do it back in Australia because the continent is basically on an _entirely_ different planet. Don't get him wrong, he was an Aussie at heart and will continue to be an Aussie forever, but he sometimes needed some time away from Australia. And in no way would he leave any opportunity to do things he otherwise couldn't back home (usually things that had to do with cold weather). I.e. enjoying hot beverages or soup without sweating, wearing the scarves Chan got him, playing in the snow, etc.

So, Felix _didn't_ choose to go.

Neither did he know exactly _where_ it was. Or _what_ he was going to do. Chan had been the one that answered Felix's phone while he waited for the younger to return to the living room with more popcorn for the beginning of their movie marathon.

When Felix returned, all he said was _"You have an appointment."_

What appointment? Chan never specified. He just said to get ready and go to the cafe nearby, The one they both went to their first day into Korea. He also told Felix to dress warmly, for it was going to snow later. But it wouldn't snow until late in the afternoon, and Felix didn't think he was going to be out _that_ late. But he did it anyway, since Chan insisted he dress warmly for the snow.

And Felix wasn't 100% sure, but he didn't think doctors or dentists have their appointments in cafes.

But he went, anyway. Besides, it shouldn't take too long and they only had one bag of popcorn that Felix already cooked. And if he was quick enough, he could make it before Chan even starts the next horror movie.

Though when he shuffles (grudgingly) into the cafe, he greets Jeongin behind the counter who smiles warmly at him. Felix wishes he could stay in Korea longer. One reason being the fox-eyed cuteness that stood before him, cleaning up milk that accidentally overflowed on the counter. 

"Felix hyung! What can I get you?" He beams.

"Ah, no," Felix giggles with a small shake of his head. "I have an appointment here. So..."

"Ah, you mean Changbin hyung?" He asks, Felix knitting his brows, tilting his head. The younger points toward some parts of the cafe. However, Felix couldn't tear his wide eyes off of the younger. Changbin? Why would Chan agree to Felix meeting up with Changbin? "He's been waiting for an hour."

"Why an hour? I've only got the call a few minutes ago," Felix asks, finally following where Jeongin pointed. His eyes land on a familiar short, buff man sitting with his back toward Felix, hands fumbling with the cup of coffee between his fingers.

"Ah. I think he was thinking if he should call you or not," Jeongin shrugs. "But go ahead. I'm sure you two are busy. Oh, hyung." Felix perks up at the sound of Jeongin calling for him, eyebrows shooting up, but he couldn't tear his eyes away from Changbin. How small he looked—Felix was not referring to natural stature. But the way he slouched and his leg bounced furiously under the table. How he couldn't even glance at his coffee and instead pulled at his hair when he leaned his head against his palm. "I'm sorry if Changbin hyung was too forward with you. He's usually not like this. And if he ever appeared rude, I just wanted to apologize?"

Too forward? Maybe. Rude? Never.

"Oh, no, it's okay," Felix waves a dismissive hand. "Really. Changbin hyung was one of the people that made my trip to Korea worth it."

"Ah. That's good to hear!" Jeongin returns the smile, gesturing to Felix. "I won't take up any more of your time. Sorry."

With a sheepish smile, Jeongin returns to cleaning the rest of the counter. Felix, however, didn't move from his spot in front of the counter. He considered leaving. To just text Changbin that he couldn't make it. But that would be an asshole move, and his moral conscience outweighed his anxieties.

So he turned on his heel and shuffled toward the man that waited for him. 

Felix had already repaired things with Chan (at least, he thinks). Christmas day, when Felix returned to Chan's house, Felix was left in the bathtub's warmth with Chan softly apologizing behind the bathroom door. Murmuring small nothings that probably kept the older awake at night all these years. Saying in an accented English: _"Lix. I'm sorry. I acted like a child. I thought you'd return my feelings, but I never thought this would come between us. You didn't know."_

And the day after, Felix accepted Chan with open arms and a bright smile.

It's still a little rocky between them, but just like new beginnings, only time could return them to their familiar closeness.

Which also included to keep himself from Changbin. He didn't actively text or call Changbin; he didn't push the older away completely either. He would still reply whenever Changbin texted him. But even through text, there was something that was... off. What was Felix saying? Of course, there was something off. They've already addressed it, just... they just never dove into the answer. They've dipped their toes into the pool—they both _know_. They both understand. But they could never actually jump in and adjust to the temperature.

"You're here," Changbin perks up at the sight of Felix, the younger bowing tentatively before taking a seat across from him. The older fumbles with his hands, scooting his chair in as he clears his throat before letting out a breathy laugh. "I was hoping you didn't come."

"So, uh, why did you... call?" Felix didn't mean to sound so insensitive, but the way Changbin acted around him... Was he in the wrong for only making his own confusion worse? He couldn't help but tilt his head and knit his brows at the curiosity that sat across from him, who only let out another breathy laugh at the question, avoiding Felix's eyes.

"Because I wanted to," he clears his throat, thumb digging into his palm before rubbing the spot and making an obscure gesture. "I was hoping Bang Chan didn't let you go."

"Do you..." A pause. "Hate me?"

Changbin immediately perks up, shaking his head as his hands made frantic gestures toward the Australian.

"No!" He almost yells if it were not for the people surrounding them. But he didn't calm down, his eyes filled with something Felix didn't want to face. He didn't want to decipher, but which tempted his curiosity. "That's not it. I don't hate you at all."

Felix glances up at the reassurance, eyes wide, a frown on his lips. Could he be the better person about this? Could he just resist the notion of soulmates or non-soulmates altogether? Could he just return to Australia as if he never went to Korea? That his and Chan's last stop was Indonesia. Or that only the events between Chan, Felix, and Jisung lasted in his memory. That he didn't have to choose between the person he loves most and someone he... Felix couldn't even consider that forbidden word.

"I just—I think running into you might be the best thing that's happened to me," Changbin huffs. "And not because I also saw color that day. I don't care if I saw color or not if it meant I still get to meet you." He sucks in a breath. "And that confession was so damn ignorant of me. You were going through something and I decided to only make it worse. So... I just wanted to mend things between us."

What was there to even apologize for? Changbin had no reason to apologize, and he's been nothing but good to Felix this entire trip.

But why was Felix so scared? Terrified to take the next step or to just look Changbin in the eye. Why couldn't he accept this harmless invitation to welcome the older again, to embrace him?

It's funny, actually. Maybe Felix suddenly understood how Chan felt all these years. How terrified he must've been to confess.

"Could we... Could we go out today?" Felix asks, a murmur that the older almost missed it. Unluckily he did. Unluckily, he smiled when Felix finally glanced up to catch his gaze. Unluckily, he nodded ever so slightly at the shy invitation.

"Well, sure. Where do you wanna go?"

**\---**

When Felix texted Chan, he'd be going to Cheonggyecheon that day. He couldn't help but feel like passing out as he pressed that menacing blue button, a sense of dread and false hope already biting at his heels.

Though all Chan said was: _"Ok. Get home safely."_

Felix couldn't believe such things. Chan, who Felix now acknowledged his jealousy toward Changbin, let him go on a friendly "date," with the said man. At first, Felix thought Chan just wanted to have a movie day all to himself. But Felix didn't push the matter any longer—especially when Chan _insisted_ he wear something warm for the snowfall earlier that day.

But the sun was setting soon. And it was getting colder by the minute—Chan was right to coerce Felix into multiple layers of clothing before going out.

"So..." Changbin clears his throat, Felix peeking up as they walked alongside the small river. Felix remembered the day Changbin took him to Cheonggyecheon like it was yesterday. It was nerve-wracking that that was the first attraction Felix visited in Korea. Cheonggyecheon, with a stranger he barely knew then. "You're leaving soon."

Felix nods. Yeah, he was leaving soon. And even though he loved every moment he spent with Jisung and Chan, enjoyed every moment he had with new friends such as Hyunjin or Minho, a part of him wished he didn't have to return to Korea. Maybe it was the guilt he had and the confusing dilemma he had regarding Seo Changbin.

"Did you enjoy your trip to Korea?"

"Yeah. Very much," Felix answers, glancing at the older as they continued to walk. Felix enjoyed the sights, the scenes, the holidays, the food—the typical tourist "attractions" that came with traveling. Felix enjoyed meeting new friends and learning more about his culture.

He enjoyed meeting Changbin, too. That, despite everything that's happened between them, Felix wanted to thank the older for even recuperating his friendliness.

And he'll be shameless and say it: he enjoyed everything he did with Changbin. Though it's sad to say that, Felix would probably miss Changbin the most. Even now, when they're barely walking together. There's this huge rift that Felix _just_ couldn't— _wouldn't_ fix.

"So, I'm guessing you got good paintings for your project?"

"I... I don't know..." Felix sighs, the older frowning with a tilt of his head. "Honestly, through this trip, I wonder if I had been completely honest with myself and... if I can't even understand what the hell kind of emotions I place onto the paper, how could others as well?"

Felix shrugs.

"I don't know... I think I've lost myself, somewhat."

It takes a moment for Changbin to answer. Actually, Felix didn't expect him to answer. He never has. But each time, Changbin always answered him, always gave into this... whatever the hell it was that Felix so feared.

"Could I be honest for a second?" Changbin questions, Felix nodding as he glances at the older warily. Changbin takes in a quiet breath, before halting to look at the river, then at the freckled Australian who stood beside him. "When I met you, I also think I lost myself. I mean... for once, I saw color. Actual color. Second, uh... I liked you. Truly liked you. Third, it was so incredibly frustrating to even accept the fact. And that made me question if what I did was right. _Did_ I make the right choices? Should I have not confessed to you?"

"Hyung—"

"I can't help but feel like I was the one who tore you and Chan apart. And... I... I'm sorry..." Changbin mutters, Felix sucking in a breath as the older meets his eyes. "It's hard for me to accept your reassurances because I can't imagine you being fine with Chan after all that. You guys have known each other for the longest time." Changbin shrugs with a laugh. "But it just feels so natural with you, you know? I feel like, around you, it's easy to be myself. Maybe that's why I felt so lost with myself because I was slowly coming to terms _with_ an answer."

"What's the answer?"

"For me? Well..." The shorter smiles, soft and warm in contrast to the frigid river they stood by as other people walked by them. Though Felix almost jumps when he feels the first flakes of snow fluttering down and landing on his cheeks, eyes wide as the two glance around.

"It's snowing..." Felix says in awe at the fragile crystals that fell from the sky, hand held out so some of it could land onto his palm.

One reason Felix was excited to travel to Korea was because of the possible snowfall. What could he say? In his entire life, he's only experienced snow _once_. So Felix was always took any chances to encounter snow. However, as their trip neared the end, Felix couldn't help but wonder if he could even _see_ snow. And now—he only realized how underwhelming much of it was.

Especially when he had someone else smiling so beautifully in front of him, blinking away snow that fell onto his lashes as a bright smile practically warmed the freckled Australian enough that he couldn't even _feel_ the snow he so anticipated.

And maybe...

Felix found the answer too.

**—-**

"Hyung, what do you think about... soulmates?" Felix asks, Changbin humming as he takes a sip of his hot chocolate. He glances away from the snowfall outside the cafe window to direct his curiosity at a freckled Australian.

"Soulmates?" He asks, Felix nodding. "Be more specific."

"I mean... Just _soulmates_ overall. Do you think it's possible for someone to fall in love? _Truly_ fall in love?"

"Hm, I don't know," Changbin laughs, a sound that Felix didn't think would hurt him so much. It was light and breathy, a reassurance to Felix's anxiety. But it didn't help the way his chest constricted—the way he played with the rings on his fingers and how he bit his tongue and held in a breath. "I _really_ don't know. But I wonder if seeing color or not truly makes a difference. I mean, look at me... I still fell for you, even though you can't see color."

And Felix? He still fell for Changbin even though... Even though he practically denied everything about the older. Even though he couldn't see color, even though he was discouraged by his own choices and how he could see them as soulmates.

Felix wondered if spending enough time with someone could warrant them to _become_ soulmates—well, not _actually_ becoming soulmates. But close enough that both people think so. Why Chan fell for Felix even though it's proven time and time again that they weren't meant to be. And maybe those small nuances you see in a person might make you fall in love instead of the thought of soulmates, Felix didn't know.

"I think I should get you back to Chan. It's cold out, we don't want to get sick," Changbin says, standing so he could pull his coat on. Felix perks up, staring up at the older.

There were still so many things he didn't comprehend. So many "what-ifs" or "what-could-be". And those thought incessantly plagued and indulged his anxieties.

Soulmates? What defined a damn soulmate?

Compatibility? Friendliness? The actual force of soulmates bringing two people together?

Was it a sickness? Some horrible virus that forced two people together. People who never knew each other, people who got along.

And what of those who lose their soulmates? Who could see color but without the warm emotions that backed up the ability? What did _they_ think about _soulmates?_

"Changbin," Felix shoots up to his feet, that Changbin arches an eyebrow at the horrible squeak from the chair being pushed back. When Felix didn't answer, the older only smiles; reassuring in a way to tell Felix that nothing he could say or do could truly offend the older.

So, Felix takes a step forward, his heart on his sleeve as he stares up at the older. He bites his tongue, before wrapping his arms around the older and pulling him into a kiss that Changbin this time returns.

And it wasn't so much fueled by his confusion, unlike last time. Though Felix was a little curious, deep down, he felt a reassurance—something that told he knew the answer, understood what he wanted to know. But the fact that he _just_ couldn't accept it.

But the way Changbin carefully returns the kiss, or how his arms gently wrapped around the younger's waist, how Felix could practically feel his heart thumping in his chest—

"Hyung, I like you too," Felix mumbles when he pulls away, feeling something warm spread across his face when the older's eyes grow wide. "And... And I don't know what the hell's going to happen with this—with _us._ But I wanna try. I see and understand how much I couldn't accept liking you because you're not my 'soulmate' but I wonder if that was just me trying to make up excuses."

"But... I thought Chan—"

"Don't be Chan. You're not Chan. I already know and think of him as a brother. But I still don't know and understand Seo Changbin. And I think... I think that's the reason I feel like we could work. I just... Like you—more than regular people do, I guess," Felix lets out a breathy laugh, especially when Changbin gently places his hands on the younger's cheeks, running his thumbs over the freckles that dotted his warm skin. "And I want to get to know you. Know you more—I want to see and understand _you."_

"So... Could I kiss you again?" He asks, smiling brightly that had Felix melting on the spot. But he nods, so sure of his answer that he was the one to lean forward to press his lips to the older.

And Felix thought he'd never been so sure in his entire life—the possibility to know and truly understand someone like no one else.

Maybe that's what made soulmates.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I REALIZED I DIDN'T UPDATE YESTERDAY. IM SO SORRY YALL
> 
> anyway, one more chapter + the epilogue... and we'll be done bois :)
> 
> -Ly <3


	27. | Radiant White |

"Yongbok, don't go! We still have so much to do together! You complete me, I complete you! I- I _love you!_ "

Jisung cries out dramatically as he hangs from Felix's bed, his hair sticking up from his forehead as his head dangled from the edge of the bed to stare at the younger folding his clothes. The freckled Australian only rolls his eyes at Jisung's dramatic display, laughing when the older scrunches his face in a mock cry and dramatically wipes his eyes of imaginary tears.

"Jisung, it's not like I'm disappearing. You can text and call me. Like you always do," he says, humming along to the song that played from his phone. He carefully placed a stack of clothes into his luggage, trying to figure out a mathematical equation that could help him fit the most clothes into one luggage besides all the souvenirs for his family he bought.

"I know! But to me... it breaks my heart to see you go," Jisung frowns, shooting up with knitted brows. "Like, I need my comfort Yongbokkie when I'm around Lee Minho!"

"Speaking of..." Felix leans over with a smile, waggling his eyebrows at the squirrelly man. "You've been overly friendly with him."

Jisung scoffs, almost _offended_ at the _ridiculous_ claim from the younger. "Oh, please—"

"Aw! I know that look!" Felix gasps, the squirrelly man flaring a deep shade of red as he scrambles off of the bed (a shame that the Australian has to fix it _again)._ "You're embarrassed, aren't you?"

"We went on _one_ date!" Jisung exclaims, making frantic gestures that Felix couldn't help but beam at. "But it doesn't help that I still hate him!"

"Ah, just give it time, Sungie," Felix giggles, waving off the older's sputtering, stammering and stuttering. "But tell me, how's he like outside of fighting all the damn time?"

Jisung tilts his head in confusion but crawls beside Felix, sitting next to the Australian as he zips up one bag and moves on to the next.

"I'm going to get shit on for this—he's romantic, not gonna lie," Jisung huffs in a defeated English. And Felix had to keep himself from teasing the older for confessing. Especially if he didn't want to go to the airport with scratch marks all over him. But if Felix didn't endorse Jisung and Minho before, he definitely did now. Especially when the squirrelly man scratches his head furiously and glances away. It was nice to see someone finally put the hyperactive man in his place—someone who could balance out his antics instead of indulging in his stupid shenanigans (Hyunjin). And Felix was happy for the older. He really was. Even if the first few moments would undoubtedly be nothing more but a few more fights. He knows they'll manage, though. Especially if Jisung was determined enough. And what Jisung wants, Jisung gets.

"I think you guys would make cute soulmates," the freckled Australian says. "I mean, you've finally allowed someone to pop your arrogant—"

"Yah!" Jisung almost tackles the younger to the floor, interlocking their fingers as Felix tries to fight the older from tickling him. "Arrogant? Lee Minho was the arrogant one!"

"It's not his fault you're a donkey—AH! Hyung! I'm sorry!"

" _Hyung_?? We're a day apart, dipshit!"

"I heard screaming," Chan says, poking his head into the room as Felix finally gets Jisung off of him and bolts behind the older Australian.

"Control your Aussie!" Jisung yells, pointing at Felix as the younger stuck out a tongue.

"Stop bothering him, he needs to pack his things!" Chan scolds, pushing the freckled Australian back into the guest room before they all sit on the floor. "I'm all done. And you're not even halfway!"

"Jisung has been distracting me!" Felix turns to the said man, who lets out an offended gasp.

"How dare you—"

"I'm sorry!"

"Yah. You. Clean up your things from the bathroom," Chan laughs, pushing Felix to his feet as Jisung sticks his tongue out in a mock, only for Chan to gesture to him. "You. Help us pack up."

"Wait a minute! I'm already driving you guys to the airport!" Felix hears Jisung yell as he runs out of the guest room. Felix swears, if Jisung continued yelling, Eomma Bang might have to kick him out. But it just enforced this sense of familiarity Felix had with Chan and the squirrelly man. It was a sense of domesticity that Felix adored.

Considering all the events that occurred through their trip, Felix _might_ consider the trip to Korea one of the best. Yes, there were many downsides (Jisung and Minho's constant bickering, laziness that winter brought, the dingy art store Felix went to alone because he ran out of blue paint, etc.), but there were others that made the trip worth it.

"Lixie-yah!" Jisung peeks into the bathroom, gesturing outside with his phone. "Hyunjin wants me to pick him up from school. I'll be back, okay?"

"Why don't you take him here and we can all have lunch together?" The freckled Australian suggests, Jisung pointing at the younger with a bright smile.

"Ah. You're smart. I'll ask him, see you!" The squirrelly man exclaims, sending Felix a flying kiss as the Australian waves goodbye.

Jisung _definitely_ made Felix's trip a lot better. Really, if Felix never met Jisung, he wouldn't know _what_ to do. Sure, the man was... eccentric at times—eccentric is a generous euphemism. The man is straight up too much. But when the time came, Jisung was always there for Felix. And he never asked what was wrong if Felix didn't want to say. He was always a constant presence that Felix knew looked over him. Like a guardian angel of sorts. Except he was a lot more extra. And a lot louder.

"Hyung! I'm almost done, I'll be there in a second!" Felix immediately shot up to his feet with a bag containing his belongings, noticing the older Australian standing by the door with a tight-lipped frown. He held up a phone—Felix's phone, a coat in the other. And when Felix arched an eyebrow at him, taking a step forward and reaching for the device, Chan smiles.

"Changbin texted," he says, quietly, but with no bitterness or jealousy whatsoever. It almost made Felix fidget with his phone at how calm the older was. Was he not mad? "Oh, don't look at me like that. Go."

"Go...?" Felix frowns, Chan gesturing to the phone with his head. Hesitantly, Felix glances down at the screen, a notification text from Changbin that Felix opens.

Would you like to go out today? It read.

"I- I—" Felix lets out a breathless laugh, though glancing back up at the older. "You... Aren't you going to stop me?"

Chan laughs, ruffling the younger's hair before handing him his coat, "Yeah... But I'd rather see you happy."

**—-**

"You should come here in the spring. That's when the cherry blossoms bloom."

Felix glances over at the older sitting beside him, eyes wide and a smile forming on his lips as Changbin returned the gesture.

The spring? That'd be a good idea. But maybe Felix wouldn't visit _just_ for the cherry blossoms. That would be a waste of time. Besides, if he truly wanted to experience the beauty of cherry blossoms, then he'd rather go to Japan. And Chan and Felix never traveled during spring—or rather, _autumn,_ if he were to talk in Aussie.

They loved traveling, yes, but they'd be broke if they traveled _all_ the time.

But Felix might consider it. Maybe it'll be just a quick trip to Korea, nothing more.

"In your dreams, Seo Changbin," Felix scoffs, rolling his eyes as he swirls his brush into his small metal pan of water, clinking against it before returning to painting. "Also, stop moving, or else I'm putting paint on your jacket."

"I'm just saying, I'll miss you." Changbin dismisses the light-hearted threat, turning his body completely so he faced the freckled Australian. "Actually, I don't know if I'll be able to survive out here in Korea alone without you."

"Then visit Australia. I don't want to spend money just to—Yah! I said stop moving!" Felix barks, Changbin letting out a giggle as he snaps back to his previous position, though instead leaning back on the park bench. "I hate you. You're making me hate painting."

"No, you don't," Changbin sighs. Felix quickly returns to painting to hide his smile from the older, cursing when he almost spilled water all over his paper.

"You're right, I don't."

"Yah! You said it!"

"I will if you keep moving! Hyung! Stay still! You're the one who wanted me to paint you!" It was weird, before they confessed it was nothing but apologized and humble murmurs. Though, with... _whatever_ it was between them—were they dating? Was it considered dating even if they weren't soulmates?—it was nothing but childish bickering and teasing. Felix almost thought they'd replace Jisung and Minho with their bickering.

But it was all light-hearted, nothing but adoration and teasing.

"But why would you want to paint me when you have the real thing, right here?" Changbin gestures to himself, raising his eyebrows with a smile that Felix tries to keep himself from giving into. But he always does, sighing as he shuts his sketchbook.

Before hitting the older's head with it.

"Hyung, you're too much, sometimes," Felix frowns, Changbin dramatically rubbing the spot that the freckled Australian hit with a whine and a pout. Though when Changbin was about to retaliate, Felix leans forward to press a kiss to his cheek that the shorter immediately melts into.

Even with the playful bickering, Felix couldn't have asked for more. Not when Changbin gasped at him dramatically, Felix feeling his face overheat at the look he gave the younger. Not when he immediately brightens and coos at the Australian's embarrassment (Felix was about to hit him again with his sketchbook, but decided it'd be too cruel to the sketchbook). And not when Changbin turns his head and points at his other cheek.

"You're a dork," Felix giggles, pecking the older's other cheek.

"Wait—I don't think that's enough." Changbin sucks in a breath before pointing at his lips.

"That's funny," Felix snorts, pressing his sketchbook against Changbin's lips instead and pushing the older back with breathless laughs.

"Yah! I'm serious!" He yells, the younger shrugging dismissively as he opens his sketchbook and returns to painting Changbin. He might as well finish.

And Changbin seemed to behave for once—staying completely still as some sort of last-minute mercy toward the younger.

"Felix... Are you sure that... That you're okay with this? With us?"

That question surprised Felix at first. Was it not Changbin that insisted they were soulmates? He was the one who said time and time again—suggested, or otherwise, that they were meant to be. And yes, the older slowed down and took a back seat somewhere in the middle. But they both knew that the feelings were there.

And even so, he was still unsure. They both were.

"Honestly? I don't know where this is going to go," Felix sighs, shrugging though offering the older a small smile and a nudge to the shoulder when he noticed the other's frown. "But I know you would never hurt me. And I've never been so sure in my entire life."

"But, what if—"

"Aish, hyung, let's not worry about that now!" Felix exclaims, perking up and knitting his brows at the older. But a bright smile opposed his mock scold, Changbin staring at him wide-eyed. "And even if something happens, we'll work through it, won't we? I trust you."

"I trust you too." A smile breaks onto Changbin's face, Felix perking up as he gestures to the painting.

"I finished, by the way. See how fast that was if you just stayed still?" Felix hums, Changbin staring at the painting with awe. It wasn't Felix's best work (since Changbin kept fidgeting and moving), but just from the older's reaction, he thought it held the most merit. And Felix doesn't remember most of the colors he placed down—but he didn't need to. He understood what he wanted to convey, what he felt as he stared at Seo Changbin.

"Wow... Can I keep it?" He asks, Felix giggling as the older stares at him wide-eyed.

"No. This one's mine. You already have one."

"But—"

"Hush," Felix hums, leaning forward to press a kiss to Changbin's lips. When he pulled away, the older gasped with a hand covering his agape mouth, brows knit together and his eyes comically wide. A long minute of silence passes between them, nothing but the children running by in the park, couples or friends walking, dog owners helping their pets get their daily dose of exercise. Nothing but the winds the Han river brought along, the snow that still covered the ground in thin sheets. And the smile—nothing but the smile that spreads on Changbin's face.

Nothing, that Felix could ever think of anything better, than when Changbin cups his cheeks and pulls him into a kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter y'all. It's the epilogue left...   
> It's been a wild ride with y'all <3


	28. | Epilogue |

Felix _never_ thought he would hear it with his own ears.

After his twenty-two or some other years on Earth, he wondered how he only heard it _now._

 _Now_ , of all times. Between a (mostly) harmless game of UNO.

"Dad, it's already red."

"Oh, it is? Sorry, then I choose green, then."

Felix heard from his sisters that one of them was moving houses. He thought he could help; it was the weekend, winter break barely started, and Chan didn't have work. The universe was practically _yelling_ at him to help them move! _Besides_ , they were leaving for Korea in a week, deciding to go during winter break this year instead of summer. Felix might as well help his sisters as much as he could.

But it was all going well, and the best thing was, his parents also helped her pack. Though lunch rolled around and the nagging thought of food kept them from working anymore. So while Chan and Eomma Lee cooked, Felix and his sisters (Felix's younger sister coerced their dad to join) played UNO out in the living room on the untouched coffee table.

It went by fine. Of course, there was the usual bitterness after grabbing 12 cards, or the distrust between each other, or maybe even the classic _"I hate you,"_ directed toward each other. Really, UNO was one of those games that broke up friendships—family, even. And it wasn't until Appa Lee's turn when there were some... doubts that came from Felix's end.

First, he would accidentally place down the wrong colors. At first Felix thought his dad was just fooling around—he was the type to tease (his sisters knew well of that) and the way he always laughed and waved it off made Felix think this was just some sort of joke he didn't understand.

Until he continued to do it again, and again, and again. Mistake after mistake, he would place down the wrong colors.

Felix was about to call him on it, but the way his sisters didn't really say anything except for telling him it was the wrong colors made him think otherwise. Of course, Felix _also_ couldn't see color and the only way he knew of his father's harmless mistakes was when his sisters would laugh and tell him he was wrong (Felix had the aid of his younger sister to help him pick the colors).

But when he actively _called_ out the wrong color... That's when Felix considered that, no, his father wasn't doing it on purpose. Plus, it wasn't even funny anymore. Why _would_ he continue the teasing?

And the way he looked flustered... that was when Felix perked up and said, "Appa, why do you keep getting the colors wrong?"

"Ah, sorry," he waves it off, laughing lightly. "I still mix up my colors after all these years. I should get those special colorblindness glasses, don't you think?"

"That's a good idea, Appa!" _And she agreed to it!_ _Were_ they playing a prank on him?? but his sister sounded too _genuine_ to even think of it as a joke! Felix's eyes were comically wide at the thought, almost ripping his cards in between his fingers. "What? I just think this game would be ten times smoother if you and dad weren't naturally colorblind."

"I- I'm—" Felix sputters, his breath getting stuck in his throat. He couldn't breathe. Forgot how to. The way his chest constricted and how a million thoughts yet none at all ran rampant through his brain. "Colorblind...?"

"Yeah, I thought you knew?"

 _Colorblind_.

Being _colorblind._

It made sense, actually...

Now that he thinks about it, Felix had a front-row seat to the absolute _mess_ between Jisung and Minho when they found out they were soulmates. He remembered it clear as day, actually (how could he _not_? Was there a way to just forget it?) the fighting, the sweet cravings. At the bar, Hyunjin reassured Felix that they were fine, they were just undergoing the " _other"_ symptoms of soulmates, which he was a little dumbfounded to hear. There were _other_ symptoms other than seeing color?? He thought the only way to find soulmates was their introduction to color, _not_... _whatever_ the _hell_ even happened to them.

At the time, Felix waved it off. The worry for their wellbeing made him forget.

Forget that he _also_ underwent the same things!

Everything was too bright, he craved sweets... He even passed out in the back of Jisung's car for fuck's sake!

Would that mean he ran into his soulmate...?

"Lix! It's your turn, idiot!" Felix perks up at the barks of his youngest sister beside him, blinking and nodding with a smile as he leans over and asks her what color his "seven," card was before placing it down.

And a thought popped up.

Changbin suggested that they were soulmates. 

**\---**

"Why the _hell_ am I even here?" Jisung whines.

The fox-eyed individual sweeping cat hair chunks from the carpet only halts, staring at the squirrelly man uselessly laying on his bed he _recently_ fixed!

"Because summer break is here and either Minho hyung and I finish this the first week or we procrastinate," Jeongin says. "Yah. Get up and help me! I didn't force you to come over for you to mope around."

"Felix wouldn't let me do this," Jisung groans, slipping off the bed and bringing his pity party onto the floor instead. "I have work to do! I'm supposed to be editing a song right now!"

"Hyung, then why did you even come over?"

"Because you said free lunch!"

"I _said_ I'll feed you if you get off your ass and help us clean!" Jeongin barks as a wet cat scrambles outside of the door, Minho chasing after it with a towel and a blow dryer. "Hyung! I'm done with the carpet. You can start vacuuming!"

"Yah! Doongie! Come here! Yah!" Minho yells, Jisung hearing a cat hiss as Jeongin runs out the room. "Innie, _please_ dry Doongie."

Despite the clamors of Minho and Jeongin struggling to get a stubborn cat down from above the shelf, Jisung sighs as he notices another cat slip into the room, the gray kitten padding over to the squirrelly man. She crawls into Jisung's lap, the (very) damp cat curling as she licks her fur. But Jisung didn't mind, not at all. Another reason (one left unsaid) he wanted to come over was to see Minho's cats. They all deserve the world. And maybe that's why he came over often, not for his boyfriend, but for his boyfriend's _cats_.

"Oh, God," Minho sighs as he wheels a vacuum into Jeongin's room, noticing a certain squirrelly man crying over his cat. Minho quickly rushes over to the two, picking up Dori with much resistance from his boyfriend. "I thought I told you to stay in the bathroom. I'll be there quickly, baby, come on."

"Yah!" Jisung whines, Minho ignoring the younger as he returns Dori into the bathroom before huffing at the sight of the pitiful _human_ on Jeongin's bedroom floor.

"You, get off the floor. I need to vacuum," Minho ignores the pitiful whines and complaints of the younger as he plugs in the vacuum to the outlet. He almost made a 180 at the sight of Jisung—how come he stared at his cats with so much more adoration than he did with Jisung?? Well, Jisung gets it, he'd rather spend time with Minho's cats, but still!

"I'm too lazy to!" Jisung exclaims, dramatically laying on the carpet instead. He perks up as he glances under Jeongin's bed, reaching over and pulling out multiple posters of girl groups. "He's a fan of LOONA?? How come he never told me?! I could've gotten him a free signed album."

"Yah, put that back before Jeongin sees you," Minho scolds, walking over to the giggling man. "And you're not famous, calm down."

"Not yet," he smiles widely, Minho rolling his eyes as he picks the younger off the floor and settles him back on the bed. Though before Minho could properly vacuum (as he intended and determined to do) Jisung pulls him down, the older supporting himself above the squirrelly man. "We don't _actually_ have to help Jeongin, do we?"

"No, we do. I'm his roommate so, technically, this is also my apartment," Minho huffs. Jisung crossing his arms. "If you're not helping Jeongin, _at least_ help me."

"So you don't love me—"

"I don't."

"Yah. I thought _you'd_ be down to ditch with me."

"Sorry, Sungie, but I have to clean." Minho hums, leaning down to press a kiss to the younger's pout. Though before he could get off of Jisung, the younger pulls him back down, throwing his arms around the taller's neck and connecting their lips into a kiss Minho fervently returns.

"Please? I'm bored. Let's go out today," Jisung pleads with a pout once he pulls away, Minho giggles as he presses a chaste kiss to his forehead, ruffling his black hair (he scrapped the _mess_ of colors Hyunjin placed on his head a year ago) affectionately. "And I have to pick up Yongbok later."

"I'll think about it," the older hums, Jisung smiling at him brightly, wide eyes sparkling Minho absolutely melts into. Now that Jisung thought about it, their awful bickering on days long gone _was_ a bit childish. Actually, how _did_ they not realize they weren't soulmates until about a year ago?? And maybe Felix was right... Minho _might_ not be _all_ bad.

Actually, who was Jisung trying to fool? He knew he'd never say it out loud, for his pride prevented him, but he knew that he loved Minho. He loved his sarcasm, his overbearing orders, his laughs, his smiles. They were things Jisung would never tire of. Things— _he_ , Minho, was someone Jisung would stop for, to take a breath, to stay in one place instead of continuously advancing.

And that was enough, Jisung accepted that not all the riches in the world could attest to _his universe_ he held in his arms now, who he wrapped his arms around and refused to let go.

"I love you," Jisung hums, Minho smiling brightly at him.

"I know—"

"Seriously, guys? _On my_ bed? If you two are going to be gross, at least do it on the floor," Jeongin exclaims, Minho shooting up and ripping himself away from the squirrelly man with a warm red spreading on the tips of his ears and his neck. He clears his throat, avoiding the teasing gaze Jeongin had on him as he turns on the vacuum and cleans the carpet. Though, when Jeongin scoffs and rolls his eyes at the two soulmates' flustered antics, he immediately shrieks at the sight of Jisung looking over his girl group posters.

" _Wait!_ What the hell are you doing with those?!" 

**\---**

Today was a busy day.

Actually, _every day_ was a busy day, no exceptions. But today was a little special compared to other days or weeks—promotion day.

Promotion day was always a nerve-wracking time in everyone in the company's lives, save for section leaders and supervisors. It was a special day, every three years when the moon was high, and the tides were low and the planets align (minus all three of those things). A special day where others rise (those on Mr. Yoon's good side, who do all of their work with flying colors and also show a _passion_ for the work they do here) and others fall (those who anger Mr. Yoon, who are lazy and trying to find shortcuts and those who, sadly, fall out of love with the job).

Promotion day was almost the company's own "Hunger Games". Everyone was out for each other's throats. Friends don't exist for 72 hours, starting the day before and ending the day after.

And their superiors do nothing but watch in humor at the bloodshed in their company.

"Lee Chaeryeong." And the countdown is over. Their superiors were now calling their pigs for slaughter. Chaeryeong gulps as she glances warily to Changbin, the older holding up a fist in encouragement as she enters Mr. Yoon's office, where the other supervisors also waited for her.

Everyone waited to be called patiently, hoping that they could get better pay or such. _Hoping_ that none of them get booted off the team or otherwise.

Shin Ryunjin. Minatozaki Sana. Myoui Mina. Choi Youngjae.

But then, Changbin heard the whispers of death calling for him.

"Seo Changbin," Mr. Kang calls out, the gray-haired man jumping in his seat at his name.

And Seungmin.

They give each other a _look_ before heading to the office, Mr. Kang smiling at them as they all entered Mr. Yoon's office. It was quiet inside, eerily quiet, and Changbin had to stop himself from clearing his throat. Ms. Park was there, and he couldn't even _breathe_ in her presence.

At least Seungmin was doing better than he was. _Way_ better. Thinking about it, maybe Changbin was only being dramatic.

"Seo Changbin and Kim Seungmin," Mr. Yoon sighs, his deep voice ringing throughout the office. He gathers the papers on his desk, glancing at Mr. Wang, Mr. Kang, Ms. Park, and Mr. Kunpimook, who all stood beside him, ready to tear at their prey. "How long have you two worked here?"

"Three years, sir," Changbin answered, Mr. Yoon nodding at that.

"Three years... That's enough years for change, right?" Mr. Yoong asks, the two nodding. "What do you two think? Should we make some room for newcomers this year? Two new ones?"

"I think so, sir," Seungmin hums. And Changbin almost gaped at him as if it weren't for their superiors standing in the same room as the two. Was Seungmin crazy?? What their president said had a double meaning: A.) promotion or B.) Being fired. _Now_ , Changbin might be crazy, but _last year_ wasn't really the best year for the two... If he recalled, Changbin and Seungmin _both_ fucked up at the mercy of Mr. Kang, Ms. Park, _and_ Mr. Yoon. It'd be a damn _miracle_ if—

"I like your confidence, Kim Seungmin," Mr. Yoon laughs, turning to Mr. Wang and Mr. Kunpimook. "These two have been _begging_ me to get you on their team."

Oh. Well, in that case, yeah. Kim Seungmin had the sweet words of a devil, Mr. Wang had would be _stupid_ to _not_ get Seungmin on the marketing team as the man had god-sent charisma. So that made sense. Changbin, however...

"Seo Changbin, congratulations. From this day forward, you'll join the editing team." 

**\---**

"Felix! Felix! Felix! Here! Over here! Bro! Right Here!"

The freckled Australian beams at the sight of a familiar squirrelly man pushing past the crowd with a familiar cardboard sign he created the first time Felix came around. The two Australians' names in cruddy English lettering, the scribbles questionable drawings, and embarrassing printed-out pictures of the two glued to the sides for everyone in the airport to see.

Honestly, Felix only wondered why Jisung kept the sign for so long.

"Yongbokkie! Channie!" Jisung yells, the two Australians pushing past the crowd to meet their friend— _friends_. Minho was there too, smiling and standing beside the squirrelly man who jumped and yelled and... _not_ fighting with each other.

Well, Felix expected it. Jisung had given him updates on his relationship with Lee Minho. They were doing fine, better than Felix expected. Jisung said that they go on dates, talk to each other pretty regularly. Minho sometimes visits Jisung at the studio. Of course, the teasing and mocking were there, and they _had_ fought once in a while, but it was mostly harmless fun. They weren't out for each other's throats. At least he doesn't think so.

But to see it for himself! In the flesh! Han Jisung and Lee Minho standing side by side! Maybe Felix needed to get his eyes checked.

"Wow, that's a sight," Chan chuckles before rolling his bag over to the two, Jisung immediately throwing himself onto the older Australian. He gestures to Minho with an arched eyebrow as Jisung reaches over to pull Felix into an impromptu group hug. "I didn't think you'd be here."

"Well, Jisungie didn't want to go alone. I didn't want him dying of boredom for hours waiting for you two," Minho replies.

"But why the _hell_ did you wait hours??" Felix asks, pulling back and meeting the squirrelly man's sparkling eyes.

"I was excited. I get to see my Yongbokkie!" he squeals. "I missed you so much! I could cry—"

"Ji, you texted me before we got on the plane," Felix giggles, pushing the older away and toward Minho. "For now, save your energy for your boyfriend, please."

"Jisung, we should take them to Chan's parents," Minho smiles. Though Jisung scowls, Minho had a point. Neither Australian had enough heart to rain all over Jisung's parade, but they were tired. They wanted to hit the bed and never wake up for a thousand years. It was also late—almost midnight, to be exact. Seriously, how could the squirrelly man still have enough energy to jump around much more _talk_?

But maybe that's why Minho clicked with Jisung so well. He brought the man down to earth every once in a while.

But Jisung agrees, Felix laughing at the sigh of relief Chan hid under his breath as the four all exit the airport. During the entire walk to Jisung's car, the squirrelly man and the freckled Australian wouldn't stop going on and on about what the other missed, things that didn't have the same effect being discussed through text.

And yes, Felix was exhausted. However, somehow, someway, Jisung shared his never-ending energy with the Australian.

So, all the way to Chan's place was nothing but excited talking coming from the two. Luckily, Minho didn't seem to mind and even joined some conversations from time to time. Chan, however, passed out in the back with his head in the freckled Australian's lap, AirPods in and blasting whatever music could block out the talking. Felix didn't mind, and before he knew it, they were there.

In the quaint street where Chan's parents lived.

Whereas the city in of itself was magnificence as a larger picture, the street was peaceful take, the unknown details to an untrained eye.

Home. Chan was home.

Waking up Chan, Jisung and Minho helped the two Australians with their luggage. Surprisingly, Eomma Bang was awake to answer the door, her energy almost compared to Jisung's as she wrapped her arms around her two Australians in pure joy. And even though it was past midnight, _very_ early morning, she invited Minho and Jisung inside to eat.

While Jisung almost immediately perks up at the mention of Eomma Bang's cooking, Felix turns to Minho, the older already glancing at him expectantly with brows arched.

"Hyung, I know it's late, but could you..." Felix makes a gesture to the door. "Could you take me to Changbin's place?"

"Don't you want to sleep? Or eat? And what about Chan?" He asks, the younger glancing back at the mentioned Australian who was already going on and on about his work or stories he saved to tell his parents. Smiling happily, laughing and such.

But Felix turns to Minho with a reassurance, "He'll be fine."

The older nods, heading to Jisung to ask for the younger's keys. With a kiss to the cheek, Jisung waves off his boyfriend and Felix, returning to joking with Eomma Bang and Appa Bang.

"I thought you'd want to go tomorrow," Minho says as the two head to Jisung's car.

"I thought so too... but I guess I couldn't wait that long."

The two enter the car silently. Felix and Minho never really talked during their time together. Of course, they joked around once or twice, and the older was always on Changbin's case or some other. And even now, they only had a connection because of Jisung.

But Minho was a quiet person. He was in no way shy, like Felix was. But he tried to avoid interaction as much as he could. So all in all, Minho was still a mystery to Felix.

"Changbin's happy with you," he suddenly speaks up in his intimidating quietness of his. But there was a warm tone behind those rigid curtains, a tone that Felix considers Jisung brought out of the older man; Minho brought Jisung back to Earth. Likewise, Jisung taught Minho to be a little warmer to people he met. "And I'm guessing you too."

"Yeah." the freckled Australian kept his eyes on the sights of Seoul passing him by, still bright even if it was too late in the night, though empty.

"You two... aren't soulmates, but I'm fine with that," he hums. "I mean, crazier things have happened, right? Look at me and Sungie. But uhm, what I'm trying to say..." He sighs, Felix turning to face him. "Just don't hurt Changbin. I get it, he's a grown-ass man and can take it, but I just don't want him to get hurt. If this all blows over— _if_ it does, I just don't want you two to walk away with regrets."

And he just cared for people he knew, Felix understood. Felix understood where Minho was coming from. And not that he was condemning Changbin and Felix's relationship. But there was a necessary doubt when it came to two non-soulmates getting together. Everyone had it. It's ingrained into everyone's minds that only soulmates should ever get together.

"But I know I didn't have to tell you that," he smiles, stopping the car in front of a quiet apartment, turning to the freckled Australian. "You two are happy together and that's all that matters."

"In that case, I don't want you to hurt Jisung either," Felix laughs, Minho nodding with a small smile. "Or you're dead to me. He's happy with you too."

"Yes. Of course," Minho hums, unlocking the door. "Are you staying over at Changbin's? Or do you want me to pick you up?"

Felix glances to the quiet apartment, dimmed but with a certainty Felix smiles at.

Home. 

**—-  
**

It wasn't that Changbin wasn't happy. God knows that he'd be over the moon as much as Seungmin was.

But as the night drew on and on, something felt off. Maybe he ate something funny or maybe the air didn't feel right (after all, summer _was_ here) but Changbin just couldn't enjoy himself as much as Seungmin. Or Hyunjin, for that matter.

"Yah, don't be such a downer, what's wrong?" Seungmin asks, taking some bulgogi off the grill and placing it on Changbin's plate. "I thought you'd be happy with the promotion."

"I am," Changbin shrugs, Hyunjin and Seungmin staring at him in confusion. "But don't you think it feels a little empty, right now?"

"Ah." Hyunjin seemed to get it almost immediately, gesturing to Changbin with a nod. "Felix."

And Changbin wasn't trying to say that he was third-wheeling the couple in front of him either. When it came to their relationship, it was mellow. But they were cute together. Even if they weren't soulmates.

But staring at the two made Changbin miss Felix. He hasn't been able to text or call Felix that much lately. There should be no reason why, except for their work (and school, in Felix's case) but Felix doesn't say much in their recent conversations. There was something _off._ And Changbin might be overreacting since they, after all, are on two _different_ continents.

Changbin once tried to ask Jisung about it, but the younger was _absolutely_ secretive about his and Felix's conversations that not even Minho knew what those two talked about so late at night (or very early morning if they're being technical). So as much of a loudmouth Jisung was, he was _very_ loyal.

As insecure as he may be, Changbin decides not to think much of it. Maybe Felix was just busy or otherwise, or maybe Changbin always texted him at the wrong time. Whatever it was, he trusted Felix.

But it still didn't make him feel any better. He missed the freckled Australian.

And the two dipshits sitting across from him didn't make it any better.

"He's probably fine, hyung," Seungmin says. "Maybe he also tired of your antics."

"Don't be like that. Felix is probably just busy." See, unlike Seungmin, at least Hyunjin _tries_ to make Changbin feel better. _Tries_ , but fails ultimately. "Besides, if there was something wrong, he'd tell you. He trusts you."

"It's not that I don't trust him," Changbin sighs, taking a sip of his liquor. "I just miss him."

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, hyung," Seungmin glances with a smile. "I think you're... _cool_ for taking on long-distance. Hyunjin could never."

"Well—" Despite the absolute _worst_ choice of words from the younger, Hyunjin nods and wraps an arm around his boyfriend. "You're right, I can't."

"If you're so worried about Felix, why don't you text him? Talking to Jisung all day long, I doubt he sleeps."

But Changbin just misses him... While texting and calling Felix was much more convenient, it just couldn't hold the same merit than when he was there. The warm feeling of lips on his, his bright eyes that Changbin could just get lost into, how he smiles so genuinely, something that could energize Changbin for weeks on end. And he didn't mean to be needy, but he couldn't help it! Especially when Felix said he couldn't go to Korea this year.

Either way, Changbin tries to drink his depressing thoughts away. Seungmin suggested they celebrate their promotion; he's intent to do just that. Even if he had to stumble back home, borderline drunk.

Seungmin suggested that he and Hyunjin take him home in case a murderer kills the older on the way home. However, Changbin insisted that no murderer would even _want_ to kill Changbin. So Seungmin let him go, after a long moment of hesitation.

But he thought about the younger's words. To text Felix. To ask him what he was doing. But then again, it was around midnight, Felix must be sleeping back in Australia.

And what the _hell_ is he doing at around midnight, walking around in the empty streets and under the lonely lights? All by his lonesome, no one to witness his misery.

What would he say to Felix, anyway, this late at night?

Did Changbin accidentally wake him up? How is he? When would his next trip to Korea come around? Or if _Changbin_ should save enough money to go to Australia.

"I love you," is what he ended up texting the younger so late at night, walking around in the empty streets and under the lonely lights. He didn't intend on texting Felix, but how could he not? He just wanted to be around the younger at all times.

To his surprise, Felix almost responds immediately, _"So suddenly?"_

Changbin smiles, trying to think of a response. But he couldn't think of one. He never could, with Lee Felix. It's like his vocabulary lost itself whenever he talked to the freckled Australian, texting or otherwise.

Changbin perks up as he nears his apartment, noticing someone sitting outside the gate. At first, he didn't mind; some of his neighbors might've gone out for a smoke, or maybe they just couldn't sleep. This wasn't the first time Changbin noticed someone outside his apartment this late.

Suddenly the man is bringing his phone to his ear, and so suddenly Changbin's phone started ringing.

With Lee Felix's name flashing across his screen. 

**\---**

Felix thought he could wait for one of Changbin's neighbors to somehow, miraculously walk by and let him in. But maybe that was too high of hopes. And as Felix takes a seat on the steps in front of the gate, Felix considered calling Minho. Undoubtedly, he went back to Chan and Jisung, so he shouldn't be too far. Besides, he told Felix to call Jisung or Minho if he ever needed a ride home, just in case.

Felix intended to stay at Changbin's place as a surprise, but he suddenly thought twice about Minho's offer, once reality settled in and Jisung's shared energy from earlier faded away.

But before he could deeply delve into his embarrassing misery, Felix brings up Changbin's contact. But Changbin had texted him first, a small _"I love you,"_ making the younger smile. it always has, always will.

He knows he's been cruel to Changbin lately. But just like Jisung, Felix was prone to spilling secrets, especially if his excitement surpasses his determination. So he and Jisung swore to secrecy one late night to keep from telling Changbin (or anyone, really) about Felix going to Korea. Felix planned it for a little less than a month, so this process was literal pain.

Felix replies with, _"So suddenly?"_ smiling at his phone. He misses Changbin, as much as the older missed him. He didn't intend to travel this year, but Felix wanted to see Changbin, so he and Chan worked their asses off to go to Korea this year. It's worth it though, even if Felix's plan still hasn't reached its climax yet. He knows it'll be worth it, as long as he gets to see the older.

When Changbin didn't answer, Felix grew worried, calling the older to check up on him (and hopefully let him in). But one ring, two rings, three, four—voicemail.

It reminded Felix of that one Christmas night when Felix sat outside and called the older, his heart on his sleeve, and his anxiety almost keeping him from calling again. But he did anyway. He _does now_. He calls Changbin again, perking up when someone approached him.

He thought it was one of the neighbors, shooting up to his feet to allow them to access the gate. However, picking up his gaze, it was the man he had been waiting for, _would_ wait for, for hours, years even. With him, his patience was eternal.

Felix smiles at him brightly, his fatigue gone and forgotten in the presence of Changbin before him.

And the older immediately pulls him into a tight embrace, laughing breathlessly, smiling so, so happily that Felix could've cried then and there.

"I- I thought you couldn't come to Korea?" Changbin stammers, pulling away from Felix. His hands tried to feel as much of the freckled Australian to see if the younger was real. His hands, his arms, the nape of his neck, his cheeks. Yes, he was there. Of course, he was there.

"Well, I _couldn't_ at first _._ But you know, I wanted to," the Australian smiles, leaning over to peck at the older's lips. But Changbin yanks him back, pulling him into a warm kiss, arms wrapping around the younger. Felix knew how much he missed the older, but he never realized how much of an impact the distance between them was until Changbin kissed him like this. Held him like this, _stares_ at him like this.

They all felt so different, so much stronger than through a text or a video call.

Felix shrieks, breaking into fits of giggles as Changbin carries him, unlocking the gate and running to his apartment with the younger in his arms. He knew that they might wake up many of the older's neighbors, Felix trying to shush the older through his own laughs. But Changbin didn't care, not when he had the world in his arms.

"When did you arrive?" Changbin asks, settling the younger down so he could unlock his door. Changbin carries the Australian again, shutting the door with his foot and setting the younger to the couch, peppering kisses all over the younger's face.

"Recently. Two, three hours ago?" Felix giggles, Changbin smiling so brightly at him when he pulls away. "I _was_ going to see you tomorrow but... I just couldn't wait. I missed you too much."

Leaning up, Felix pulls the older into a kiss, sighing and running his hand through the older's hair.

He wanted to tell Changbin that he was colorblind, that they _are_ soulmates and that Changbin was right and Felix was stupid and dumb with every right for Changbin to tease him. But as Changbin lies on him, his arms around the younger's waist in a hug, his ear pressed to Felix's chest to listen to the Australian's heart thrum happily—he didn't need to.

Because he didn't need to think they were soulmates to know how much he loves the older, how much he trusts him. He didn't need color to see how much Changbin loved him too. And saying that they were soulmates wouldn't change a thing.

"I love you," Felix sighs, hands playing with strands of the older's hair, glancing down to meet his eyes. Nothing could change how much he loves Changbin, and saying it out loud, in the older's presence felt so different from through a screen. He had everything in front of him this way, and how vulnerable and weak he felt with Changbin only enforced this trust.

And Felix wasn't scared. Not at all. He wasn't scared with Changbin here, beside him, holding him as if he was the most precious thing in the universe. And why would Felix even be scared? Anxious, or otherwise, he had the older to calm him, protect him. Home.

Home that smiled, and stared at Felix with equal adoration, who Felix knew wouldn't ever hurt him. Home that reassured Felix, "I love you too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And this, Writing A Coloring Book has come to a close.
> 
> Another book finished and returned to the shelf
> 
> OMG we've finally made it guys 🥺🥺
> 
> This has been such a ride with y'all I won't forget <3
> 
> We had a few bumps here and there, but we managed! 
> 
> Honestly, this book was what I needed to take a break from dramatic stories, I enjoyed writing something so light without worrying much about the plot jkjdjjsjjdjdj
> 
> ALSO, since I'm a loser, I wrote something after I finished writing the entire story. it's a chapter about this book's "concept of soulmates." Basically a dive into the world of soulmates I built for this book, and a dissection into my brain when I write :V
> 
> Honestly, it's just something I wrote because I had fun analyzing books in my English class and wanted to analyze another book :/ it's stupid, I know, but it was fun for me so LMAO
> 
> ANYWAY. 
> 
> I just wanted to thank everyone who's gotten this far. AS long as you enjoyed the story I'm grateful and i love all y'all! 
> 
> TYSM!!!
> 
> Much Love
> 
> Ly <3


	29. | The Concept Of Soulmates |

**_Aka The author going all Socrates on a fictional concept about soulmates :/_**  
 ** _(This story was mostly pantsed/improvised that's why I'm analyzing it_** 😐 ** _)_**  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**_The trope: People can't see color unless their soulmate touches them._ **

**_Almost everyone thinks and believes that your soulmate is the best person for you and you can't change it no matter what you do._ **

But, if you look between the lines, it's more of a guide. Fate kind of acts of like a wingman. And it's your choice to make use of it or not (e.g. Changbin and Felix keep "coincidentally" meeting each other. And each time Changbin actually tries to get closer to Felix, making them friends). (e.g. 2 Minho and Jisung HAVE met before but because they don't like each other and/or don't make take the time fate gives them, they don't figure out they're soulmates until MUCH later).   
  
  
  
  


**_Prologue: My problem with Soulmate AUs_ **

I've never liked Soulmate AUs.

And yes, I can already hear the comments telling me I'm wrong and that I should start educating my uncultured ass.

Sure, there were a few gems here and there that I thoroughly enjoyed but for the most part, they're all the same: Person A meets Person B accidentally and WOAH whatever "soulmate symptom" suddenly makes them realize that WAIT they're soulmates!

OR

Person A is one of those "soulmates are bs" type of people but Person B makes them think otherwise.

But it's ironic that I wrote a soulmate AU. Especially one with the BLANDEST of soulmate tropes of "Seeing color." **_So what the hell gives?_**

While I wanted to take a break from overly dramatic books and wanted to write something lighthearted, there is _some_ level of thought placed in this book. Specifically, my problem with soulmate AUs:  
  
  
  
  
  


 **First of all** , the issue of having "soulmates" could be toxic. In most soulmate AUs, you CAN'T love anyone else except for the one you're destined for. Usually, it's just not possible or it ends in tragedy or maybe it's just never brought up because, hey. It's a book, we don't need to get so deep, unlike the author who wrote this damn book. It's a fan fiction ffs, it ain't deep, but she's making it deep by analyzing it😐.

 _But it brings up the problem: abusive relationships_. As much as we want to deny, I don't think soulmates are going to make abusive relationships disappear. And if soulmates are destined to be together, what will happen to that abusive relationship?

And oh please, don't give me BS about _"oh, their soulmate will change them/help them get better."_ No. It's still toxic and all these Soulmate AUs got me thinking...

_WHAT IF there's a way "change" your "soulmate."_ _?_   
  
  
  
  
  


**_Second_** , all soulmate AUs are pretty linear.

Person A, Person B, soulmates, boom. I think it's hard to come up with ideas for soulmate AUs because there's JUST so much you can do and they just HAVE to end up together. They're SOULMATES! (Unless we're talking about angsty soulmate AUs). One thing that ALWAYS ruins a soulmate AU is dragging it out for too long. I'm not saying "Will they, won't they?" tropes aren't bad. When done well, I'm a sucker for a good "Will they, won't they?". It's just that, if they know they're soulmates and have come to terms with the fact, then that should basically be the end. There's no need to drag it out an entire ten chapters of them going into dates, being happy that they're soulmates, etc. sure, it's fine if it's what drives the plot forward (I literally did that in this book) but once they've come to terms that they're soulmates and that they're happy. It's over, write an epilogue or something if you want to give your readers an idea to _"what happened to this couple after x amount of time?"._  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


 ** _Third_** , I don't know if it's just me... but soulmate AUs are just kind of... _boring_. It ties in with point number 2. Soulmate AU tropes are basically overused, the characters seem bland, the plot is lacking, etc. etc. I don't know if it's just preference but I want something to HAPPEN in my books. I'm not saying that someone needs to die or maybe Person B is suddenly dragged into the mafia—but I DONT WANT person A and person B to spend 5 chapters going to college classes. AND YES, you can justify this was a character development process (I did this to an extent in _"You're an Asshole." but then again, that was literally a huge art of the plot_ _)_ **But** if it's chapter after chapter of them hanging out without at _least_ a change in their perspective about the other person within each chapter, I don't want to hear it.

 _PLEASE DO SOMETHING_. Go on a date! Maybe Person A and Person B are roommates but they don't know they're soulmates and Person A just wants to have a gf/bf so they keep going on dates. But Person B suddenly gets tired of their whining and goes on a date with Person A where they slowly realize that they're soulmates. Or maybe Person A is super late to class but instead find themselves smoking weed with Person B (who is unknowingly their soulmate) instead and since they're high, they kind of went past the part that they ARE soulmates. Just do something please.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


 ** _Fourth_** : What Makes soulmates... _soulmates?_ Is there a primitive instinct that soulmates had since the beginning of time? Is it something scientific or magic? Spiritual? Or is it delusion?

Or maybe people have extra organs that create _"soulmate love"?_

Nothing is ever explained with soulmate AUs. They're just: _"soulmate symptom. Okay? Don't even try to question it."_ And I'm not saying to give me exposition or an info dump on the history of soulmates. But it's nice to learn more about this world we're given.   
  
  
  
  
  


But with all that said and done, I literally took everything (that I find) wrong with Soulmate AUs and turned it around.

Soulmates are destined for each other and can't change who you love? What about toxic relationships? Don't worry, soulmates aren't set in stone!

Soulmate tropes are overused? Don't worry, I took the BLANDEST soulmate tropes there is (soulmates can see color after touching) and ADDED four other symptoms + a little thing about society that will be explained later. AND I basically made them react to color how colorblind people wearing those special glasses would react to seeing color. They KNOW the names, but they don't fully know what colors goes with what object. (Ngl, I was reading a Soulmate AU way back when, and I fr stopped reading because the main character could suddenly name all the colors even though she couldn't SEE any of them until she met her soulmate. SO writing that scene with Changbin calling the trees blue or the sky green—idk abt y'all that scene was SO SATISFYING TO ME)

Soulmate AUs have a tendency to drag things out? don't worry, there's only about 25-30 chapters of Felix trying to figure out if he truly loves Changbin or not :) But with good reason. Felix is, after all, colorblind. And all throughout his life is exposed to "non-soulmates can't get together." And the multiple chapters of Felix going to different places? It's explained that he travels a lot and is part of his art project. Most of the beginning his giving us insight to their characters (i.e. Felix with Jisung and Hyunjin and painting; Changbin and Seungmin's dynamic with work) but after that, the wheels begin to move.

The meaning behind soulmates are never explained? Don't worry, Chan and Seungmin's Characters are literally the epitome of this. Chan still falls in love with someone who isn't his soulmate, and from this, we can make assumptions. Another example is Minsung's dynamic. They're soulmates but don't get along until Jisung decides to befriend Minho(hint hint, this is _also_ explained later).

Of course, I don't want to call out anyone who does these things. They're fanfiction, they're not supposed to be taken seriously. And when done well, any of the things I didn't like could be turned onto its head.

But I like to read interesting books. I like to MAKE my books interesting because it's going to be something I want to read. That why I don't write Chatroom AUs. I don't want to read Chatroom AUs, so I don't write it. (Historical Minsung AU? Check. Single Father! Jisung + Teacher Minho AU? College AU where Felix has to go on 30 dates?? Uhm...that was written on a whim... Undercover partners Chenle + Park Jisung who don't get a long?? Check! A Seungjin crime fic I'm thinking about writing?? Oh I don't know yet ;) )

And no, I'm not saying my book is the "perfect Soulmate AU". It's far from it. At the end of the day, It's a soulmate AU, but I wanted a soulmate AU to be something MORE than a soulmate AU.

And what I write for the rest of this chapter will probably contradict everything a soulmate AU should be. But I'm a writer and I want to take the soulmate AU with a grain of salt. I want to take a soulmate AU and make up my own rules to this world that I've wrote down. After all, that's what all writers do.

So... enjoy.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Chapter 1: The "Loopholes":**

In many (if not all) Soulmate AUs, the "how do soulmates _actually work"_ is never explained. But I don't want a whole ass essay in the story on how soulmates work. But giving insight into the world you're creating always makes your story slightly more interesting to read. You never want to solidify on how things work. You want to give enough hints so that your readers can fill in the blanks (Readers are smarter than we think. If you can, don't write exposition) I never wrote an expository paragraph in this story on how soulmates works, but I did give hints on the _'Rules'_ to soulmates (e.g. Seungjin both losing their soulmates + never getting another chance to find them again, Minsung not getting along, Chan LITERALLY falling in love with someone who isn't his soulmates). So, I analyzed my own book (wow I realized how SAD that is LMAO) since most of this was improvised/pantsing. I wanted to see how my brain works when thinking about world-building at the spot lmao.  
  
  
  
  
  
  


1.) Felix realizes early on that people can lose soulmates. We literally see it upfront with Changbin and Felix, and with Seungmin and Hyunjin's past. People can lose soulmates, that's just the reality of it. Because of an accident or people's incompetence or something else.

the clearest example of this is Seungmin and Hyunjin. Are they soulmates? We're not given a clear answer. It's up to the readers if they or aren't. They have similar backstories, yes. But as Jisung said, Hyunjin had a similar encounter in high school where he thought this random girl was his soulmate because they had similar backstories (They weren't). Remember, there are ~7.8 billion people on earth. Literally, _anyone_ could be your soulmate just because you had "Similar backstories." _But_ because of their incompetence, they lose their soulmate. Of course, they were young and they're _kids._ But it can also be applied to adults. Literally, anyone, even kids could lose their soulmates, no one is safe. But it doesn't take away your ability to see color. Once you see color, that's it. You'll forever have that ability and if you're unlucky, you'll probably never find your soulmate because of it. Like Seungmin says, if you see color but don't have a soulmate, you begin to _hate_ colors.  
  
  
  
  
  


2.) Soulmates aren't set in stone. We literally see Chan fall in love with Felix (we know they aren't "soulmates" because they've touched multiple times. And even kissed. And we know for a fact he _can't see color_. So what gives?) We see the genuine love he has for Felix, it's not fake that he even indulges his own selfishness. He can't even get over it after the fact that he confessed and got rejected (he only helps Changbin and Felix get together because he only wants Felix to be happy with whoever he chooses). And he even says he accepted that he loves Felix in _that_ way for **_years_** now. That means he's come to terms that they aren't soulmates and will never be together but he _still_ continues to have feelings. So it's not just puppy love. And again, they're NOT soulmates.

So from this, we can figure out that _actual_ love without the help of soulmates exists. People can _still_ fall in love even if that person isn't their soulmate. This implies that soulmates don't just fall in love because of some " _magic_." There needs to be some sort of chemistry for them to be together. Of course, being _told_ that soulmates _need_ to be together, kind of speeds up that process but again, look at Minsung as an example. Before they figured out they were soulmates, they had _no_ chemistry whatsoever. But they were still supposed to be soulmates right? It's not until Jisung decides to give Minho a chance do we see them _actually_ bond for once and he only even gives Minho a chance because they both found out that they're soulmates. And if the "magical force" of soulmates is what brings relationships together, shouldn't Minsung at the very _least_ get along when they first met, _even_ if they don't touch each other. But they _don't_.

Again, we don't actually figure out if Seungjin are soulmates. If they are, that's great! God works in miracles. However, if they aren't, it just further proves that non-soulmates _have_ the potential of being together as long as they both, y'know... Love each other. As Chan said, those tragedies about non-soulmates could just be nothing but old wives' tales. But we don't know :) Maybe they are. maybe they aren't. :)))  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


3.) Bumping into your soulmate doesn't make you fall in love. THIS IS BASICALLY THE PLOT LMAO. We see Felix and Changbin bump into each other, right? And we KNOW they're soulmates bc this is a soulmate AU, come on. And we know that both of them had the "other symptoms." But Felix **_doesn't_** fall in love. Of course, Changlix kind of has it easy: Felix likes making friends, Changbin is outgoing, 1 + 1 = 2. But, their relationship _kind_ of starts out as puppy love, mostly from Changbin because he's written as a dramatic ass mf in this story LMAO.

But then again, Felix doesn't _fall_ in love with Changbin. It could've been because he's colorblind and couldn't tell if Changbin was his soulmate, but if that was the case that still proves that just bumping into your soulmate doesn't make you fall in love. EVEN CHANGBIN PROVES IT. Later on in the story, he figures out that he doesn't need them to be soulmates. He just wants them to be friends and to make Felix smile. And from that point on, he kind of calms down from his puppy love. He still longs for Felix, but he isn't so vocal about it. He kind of calms down, and _then_ Felix begins to see something in Changbin.

Again, don't mistake Felix's friendliness for love. Chan said it, Felix said it, his friendship with Jisung proves it: Felix is just overly friendly to everyone he meets. He doesn't actually start to recognize his own feelings until later on when he paints a picture of Changbin. And it doesn't come out of the blue (haha, color joke). He BEGINS to like Changbin because Changbin basically did something no one's done to him before when he was feeling insecure about his art!

If we're being specific, the moment Felix truly _realized_ his feelings for Changbin is when he confides in him after he rejected Chan. It wasn't the kiss, because as he said, that was more confusion than anything.   
  
  
  
  
  
  


4.) There is NO magic or some magical properties surrounding the concept of soulmates. What _could_ be borderline magic is when soulmates find each other (e.g the almost comical coincidental run-ins between Changbin and Felix). I guess the only "magic" part about this is the "other symptoms" of soulmates:

1.) The ability to see color

2.) Pupils Dilating + Everything would be too bright to look at

3.) Delusion + Denial (Usually centered around their thoughts as we see from Changbin going from 0 to 100 to 4 to 50 to 23 in a matter of _minutes +_ Minsung joking around with each other even if they hated each other. _)_

4.) Overwhelming craving for sweets

5.) Passing out (for at least an hour, depending on how hard you've fallen lmao. Jisung falling asleep for literal HOURS and more, anyone??)

But then again I based Number 2 from getting your eyes dilated during an eye exam (Seungmin explained it to Changbin), number 3 + 4 which are the after-effects of Weed (edibles) (again, seungmin explained it to Changbin) and number 5... I called number 5 in because I thought it'd be funny lmao.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**_Chapter 2: Falling in Love with your soulmate (And other people):_ **

Considering all of this, Felix is kind of in a gray area (no pun intended). If seeing color is the first, and usually the _only_ thing people think about when seeing soulmates, it wouldn't be so farfetched to think that seeing _color_ is what triggers this "puppy love" to the person you've never met and is your supposed soulmate.

Imagine this for a moment: What _if_ the realization that you could finally see color gives your brain joy. Especially after living in a society where you're expected to have a soulmate and after years of just seeing gray. And after receiving shot after shot of dopamine you get from seeing color, it becomes to get addicting, and soon enough it'll be harder and harder to get dopamine to its receivers that you've basically created a dependency on it to keep up with the initial intake you originally got the first few times. That's how addictions are created. So imagine if we compare the concept of soulmates and seeing color and all that jazz to an addiction.

Let's imagine Person A bumps into Person B and they suddenly see color. But WAIT, they lose each other (maybe because of a traffic jam, or getting pushed or maybe they just didn't notice). But person A finally realizes that after YEARS of not being able to see color, they finally have that ability. It's exciting so they get that rush of dopamine. And immediately their brain is like "Wow. That felt so nice! I want more!" However, over the years, seeing color (without a soulmate) suddenly can't keep up with the dopamine demand and suddenly Person A realizes that it's just depressing to see color _without_ the soulmate. Because while seeing color remains static, having a relationship is dynamic that actually keeps up with the dopamine bar that Seeing color set (Sounds familiar? That's Seungmin's character arc LMAO)

And remember, after you see color, that's it. You won't know who the hell is your soulmate after that. You wouldn't get some sixth sense when your soulmate is near. You only have one chance and that's _it_. So if you were to bump into your soulmate tomorrow, even though you can already see color, you wouldn't notice. That means that soulmates don't generate love and that the initial "high" and excitement from seeing color does.

Think of it like this: You meet someone, probably from school. You think they're cool so what do you do to befriend them? You talk to them, you find mutual interests. And these mutual interests are what connects and bridges you and this person to become friends. This soulmate "puppy love" created by seeing color is exactly like that. It's a mutual interest and pining from each party that brings them together and _then_ makes them fall in love. Of course, this only works if you don't lose your soulmate.

If you think about it, Felix is _exactly_ like Seungmin. We can just prove that soulmates don't generate love but seeing color does. And while Seungmin can and Felix can't, the feeling is mutual. The only difference there is that Seungmin had a maximum before declining into a constant, while Felix only had a constant. And Felix (before he found out he was colorblind, at least) still had a hope that any day, he could bump into his soulmate and see color. Really, the hope of finally seeing color in a gray world is probably what drives many of the people in this world. Because they _know_ that someone is still waiting for them.

(ALSO BEFORE Y'ALL SAY, ENCHROMA GLASSES WILL NOT WORK ON FELIX. He's COMPLETELY colorblind, meaning that everything he sees is monochrome. Enchroma glasses only work on people who can already see color, it just corrects it.)

So it isn't very far to consider that since Felix is completely colorblind when he bumped into Changbin, he didn't get that initial high. Of course, he got the "other" symptoms but those are more of a hassle than anything (e.g Minho feeling sad that he's eating too many sweets because he was on a diet LMAO) + most people don't really think about the other symptoms (that's why most of the cast just waved off the other symptoms as "coincidental.") And since Felix can't get that initial "high," that means he never got that "puppy love" that _actually_ brings soulmates together.

This means that Felix can _literally_ date anyone he wanted. So Chan confessing?? This could've been a Chanlix book, y'all. Well, it kind of was, but Felix still rejected him lmao But then again, he didn't date Chan because of a number of reasons:

1.) He considered Chan a brother and a friend. And remember he compared Changbin and Chan with the fact that Felix _just_ couldn't see Chan as anything but. **(Editor Toastt: Have y'all ever dated a close friend? And in the middle of that relationship, you suddenly realize that you just** ** _can't_** **date bc being friends just feels more natural than dating? Or have you ever thought that your friend is** ** _exactly_** **your type. But you don't still don't have the hots for your friend. This is basically it. Best friends don't always have to be lovers. And Lovers don't always have to be best friends).**

2.) He was scared of losing Chan. I mean, it makes sense. If you notice, in this story, society kind of feeds all kinds of lies about soulmates: That they're destined to be, they're irreplaceable, you _have_ to be with your soulmate or else tragedy strikes. And that's kinda scary. Imagine if the media control your love life? Kind of a fucked up society they lived in, huh? Jisung said he saw it in a drama once and Felix names off tragic romances (so it's also integrated into their entertainment).

3.) He had already fell for Changbin at this point. And I don't know about you but if you could suddenly _stop_ liking someone in a span of two seconds, then let's face it. You never liked them in the first place. Of course, he was still in denial, but then again, that was mostly because of the expectations of soulmates placed on everyone in this AU. Even Changbin said it. Because of expectations, not seeing color is kind of treated as taboo.  
  
  
  
  
  


**_Chapter 3: Does "Fate" have a hand in this?:_ **

In this story, fate is more like a road sign. She points people to a direction best for them, but it's people's free will to actually follow her or not. We just proved that soulmates don't immediately generate magical love, so it's safe to say that seeing color, and the concept of soulmates is just one _huge_ road sign telling you _"Hey! This person will be most compatible with you! Of course, you'll have fights but that shows signs of a healthy relationship! And you know what?? This is the person you'll grow old with, who will be your other half, who will take care of you when you, yourself can't."_

And yes, accidents happen, sometimes we don't see the sign or we ignore it out of spite. But that will be _your_ fault. And yes, we can date whoever we want but it isn't fate's fault for letting you end up in a toxic relationship or having a mediocre bond. She's letting you back if you want, but since you lost the sign, it'll be damn near _impossible_ to find the way back. And I think that's what drives people to stay with their soulmates because they want the best for themselves.

Then how do we _possibly_ explain the ridiculous run-ins Felix and Changbin have?

Coincidence? Maybe. "Fate?" Possibly. _Was_ Changbin a stalker all along?? No, this is a happy story :) But it's could literally be anything that brought them together. And hey, they both listened to the road sign, so at least they ended up together :)) But imagine if Felix didn't recognize Changbin? Since Changbin didn't recognize Felix at the grocery store, that could've been the end. Changbin would probably end up like Seungmin and we don't know what would've happened to Chanlix. Maybe Minsung would still hate each other. I don't know, there are a thousand possible outcomes, but it's just some food for thought :).  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**_Epilogue: In conclusion:_ **   
  
  


_"Y'know, I could've been something else. Like a doctor, or maybe a lawyer—hell, even a dancer."_

_"So, why didn't you?" Felix halts, lifting his head from the shorter's shoulder and staring up at him with wide eyes. He stopped painting and instead, listening curiously to the older._

_"Well, from the moment we're born, all we see is black and white. And music..." Changbin turns his head, meeting the younger's dark chocolates that were on him, glimmering and so, so bright—brighter than the lights in the city, the stars in the sky—the galaxy too. "And music was the closest to color I've ever gotten." (Chapter 19: Rose Dore)_   
  
  


This was the first scene I ever thought of for this story. When I wanted to write a light-hearted story, I wanted to take one of the most light-hearted concepts ever: Soulmates. Even though I don't like reading them, I'm not going to deny that it's cute to think about Soulmate AUs. But because of this one scene, I decided to base the entire story around it. Just like the concept of soulmates, Changbin could've been anything else. But he instead goes with the status quo in the end because A.) it reminded him of the thing he loved most to do and B.) because it's what's expected of him. I didn't think of it before, but this line could literally be applied to his situation with Felix. I'm not going to bore you with the details but just think of Felix as the "music."

I tried writing a Soulmate AU a long time ago but I quickly realized how limiting everything can be. I was barely five chapters into the book when I realized that I ran out of ideas. In all honesty, writing a _decent_ Soulmate AU is probably one of the hardest things I've ever done. But I still wanted to write something that plays into the tropes and the cheesy-ness but doesn't make it unbearable to read. A soulmate AU that had something a _little_ more than "person A and Person B are soulmates, the end." I'll admit, there were a few times in this book where I had to cut out ideas because I thought they added nothing to the plot or was just boring (there was a side-plot of more Changlix angst that was just so unbearable) There were also multiple times where I was just stuck on a chapter, not because I didn't have any ideas, but because I didn't know how to shape that idea into this soulmate AU well.

But in all honesty, because of my contempt for Soulmate AUs, this book (out of all the books I've written so far) has the best dynamics between the characters.  
  


The concept of soulmates doesn't determine who we love. It's merely a guide and it's our own free will to decide for ourselves.

But most people still follow the guide because it's hard to remove ourselves from the status quo. And it's also terrifying and kind of shameful to realize that because of your own incompetence, you lost your soulmate, the _best (_ not only) person who helps you become _your_ best self.

And despite Changlix ending up together because they're soulmates, they still had to think of themselves as "Non-soulmates." And throughout the story they say how much of a shameful act it was, to fall in love with someone who _isn't_ your soulmate. But it isn't, it was just fear that hindered them and others back. In the end, Felix didn't need to tell Changbin that they were soulmates since the fact was useless when they knew and understood how much they loved each other.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


And that's it for my TED talk.

Holy shit, I forgot this was a fanfiction, I need to calm the fuck down.

I think I enjoyed analyzing books in English class so much that I wanted to analyze my own 😐😐 that's kinda sad LMAO

Also I hope I didn't offend anyone by saying that Soulmate AUs are kinda boring. :/


End file.
